Finding My Way Back to Me

Finding My Way Back To Me is written by the author during Covid's sobering self-consciousness period. Cissy Jones discovers she's living a KN95'd life and self-prioritization was not part of it. This revelation forces her to sort her life's litter and identify her past pain in absolute Cissy style. She creatively fuses old and new school R&B with rap and gospel lyrics, while analogizing the garbage recycling process to convey her transition from self-depreciation to purpose.

Cissy cleverly creates a new therapeutic language as well with terms such as "non-priority cycle", "litterology", "garbology" and "LID" (Lack of Identity and Direction), infusing her always spirited sense of humor. This book begins by providing the reader the prescription for their malady, letting them know as John P Kee sang, "the healing is in their hands."

Wellanyhoo, Cissy invites you along her mental zydeco back to her hometown of Lake Charles, La. to the origin of this cycle. While there, she encourages you to do it as Cupid sang, "With your boots on" as she neatly unpacks the acronym L.I.T.T.E.R as thematic pain point introductions to help you get rid of the litter and litterers, once and for all.

Cissy decides that the juxtaposition of her pain and vital experience with love is the appropriate start of Litterology 101. She introduces PAW PAW and MAMA and their individual approaches to love. Young Cissy shares that there is pain even in love. She also expresses the toll on her heart due to feeling like an inconvenience to an absentee, teen MOTHER who is actively rearing her other additional ten children in 3rd Ward, TX. She struggles with wanting to live with mother and the disappointment of granny if she does while thanking goodness she does not. Transition is something Cissy avoids due to such mental conflicts and emotional intolerance.

As Cissy deals with emotional abuse, she is also experiencing physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her mother's siblings Aunt BEE and UNCLE WAYNE, respectively. She witness her siblings being taught untruthful reasons why she was not in their home. She wrestles figuratively and literally with the envy that is felt by all due to her living arrangements.

Cissy begins wondering who her father is. Mother addresses her inquiries with distasteful banter. Each time mother is dishonest and avoids her maternal responsibility to Cissy, she produces a miscalculation of harm and resentment for her daughter. Mother is birthing Cissy's lids lack of control and boundaries.

As she moves on to the study of dumpster diving and its effects, Cissy begins normalizing the volatile behavior she is experiencing at home. Her litter is manifesting into dysfunctional relationships as she attracts and interacts with bad actors like SIMON, and DOG who displays aggression towards her. Cissy's search for emotional acceptance creates a warped need of companionship. She soon surpasses dumpster status. She enters the landfill of love and says like Color Purple's Sugg Avery, I'se married now", wow I'm married now!

Cissy's emotional depletion pivots her towards healing. She realizes trauma is a full-time resident of her mind and body. She literally pens an eviction notice to vacate and trash. She now knows the requirements of what her love will look, feel, and even smell like.

To reconnect with love, Cissy writes 100-word letters to both granny and mother unloading all that remains in her mind. They are letters of love, understanding and forgiveness. Cissy reconnects to her inner child, MUDPIE. She finds her way back to the best part of her.