Out of the Box

Where do I begin? Even today, as I look back over my life, I cannot pinpoint an exact day when I got trapped in the box, or the day I realized I was trapped, nor what box it was-number one, five, seven-I hadn't started counting. Somehow, I found myself going from box to box-whether I stepped in, jumped in, stumbled in or was shoved in, I was there-in darkness, feeling alone, sad, angry and guilty. I was unsure of what I could have done differently, what I should have said, done, revealed, or exposed. There were moments when I knew I was no longer myself, but a robot, some fabrication of what I used to be, or at least what I knew in my heart I truly was. I acted on the commands I heard from outside of myself, most times unaware of where those sounds originated and why I heard them, and why they were so faint and difficult to really comprehend. I think the boxes gradually surrounded me, little by little, and before I knew it, I was crying before the Lord, "Please help me; I can't stand it anymore, I want out!" I loved, I hated, I regretted, I learned, I grew.

I remember the day I looked closely at my life and for the first time realized I had let go of my calling, my mission. Although I wasn't entirely sure what my mission was-my purpose, I knew that there was a greater plan God had for me and I yearned to make steps towards fulfilling it. Life was complicated, too complicated. My priorities were all mixed up, and what should have been put first in my life was not first. At least for me, not in the order that I believe God intended for it to be nor in the order I had imagined it to be. But even worse than that, I felt trapped with no way out. I felt like I was trying to make things happen myself. I was not operating in my gift or my calling. As a child, I had plans for my life, dreams I wanted to fulfill, goals to accomplish and a sincere belief that life is good, people are good and if you love God, do what's right, be kind to others, no dream is unreachable. Someone, I had lost sight of my purpose, consumed by man's ideologies, the world's concept of what is normal, acceptable, right-forsaking God's Word and wandering into wildernesses that I knew God was present, but not pleased.

Out of the Box, uses Biblical stories to show examples of how believers in Christ find themselves in boxes. Whether they are pushed into a box, tricked, stumble in, or walk in willingly--sometimes thinking it's easy to walk back out. No matter how we end of in a box, God is still faithful; He keeps his promises, and will never leave us or forsake us. Through my journey, I learned to use the whole armor of God--not just pieces, but every tool given to us. The journey was not easy, but He was with me every step of the way.