Retail B*itch

It's not a manifesto. It's not a self-help book. So what is it? If you've worked in retail, you already know: we don't complain-we comment. We mutter under our breath. We swap horror stories in the breakroom. Weep silently in the stock room. We survive. And when someone says, "Wow, you could write a book with all the stuff you've seen", ? Well... I finally did.

I've worked in retail on and off since I was 15. I've seen the good, the bad, and the outright deranged, things that permanently warp your view of humanity and make you question the whole concept of society. Parts of this book are things I wish co-workers and managers knew. Parts are stuff I wish someone had told me before I sold my soul for minimum wage and a 20% staff discount.

Starting your first retail job? Read this. Accidentally became a manager and now deeply regretting every choice that got you here? I am you. I'm not some corporate cult leader or lifestyle coach; I still clock in five days a week, just like you. We just met, and we're already trauma-bonded.

You might find this book a waste of time. Or it might click something into place. Or maybe the essays will just make you roll your eyes so hard you see your own spine. That's fine too.

It's short and sharp for a reason... the line at Panda Express was longer than usual. Read it on your break, on the train, or while hiding in the stockroom pretending to search for a size 13 sneaker in black. I rant, I bitch, I overshare because no one else wants to hear it. But I know you get it.