Opens Like a Flower, Cut It with a Knife

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At some point in our lives, we will encounter a life-changing moment when we are forced to question our very existence. For me, it was when I found my thirty-year-old son, for no apparent reason, dead on his bed on an otherwise ordinary Monday morning. I have written this book with the hope that it can help someone else through their own loss and grief. The death of a child, at whatever age, is the most tragic experience for a parent, especially if the death is sudden. It's like a part of our body has been cruelly torn off. We will never get over the death of our child, nor should we have to. Our lives will never be the same. We will think about our child every day for the rest of our lives, and we will continue with a background ache for our child. But I have found out that we can heal from the trauma and the excruciating pain, and we can even laugh again. To heal well, we have to alter our views, our values, our attitudes, and our relationships. Expect that healing is a process which will take time. The first step in the healing process, was for me to learn to forgive and love myself for having outlived my beloved son, and having gone against the expected order of things. It was not my doing, and it was not within my control - It's just life!I had to accept that my son's death can never be undone. And I faced the painful truth that to be born is to die, and that life gave me no choice as to when, how or who died first. Grief is devastatingly painful. It can either leave us with anger and bitterness or can be used as a new awareness to give a realistic perspective and meaning to our lives. Viktor Frankl, in his book, 'Man's Search for Meaning', wrote about his life as a Nazi concentration camp prisoner where he chose to transform his darkest despair into a search for meaning and he said, 'It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us.' Our most difficult moments are our best teachers; for it is only when we encounter life-shattering moments, that we can see things as they truly are. But only if we become awakened by the tragedy and pick ourselves up - realising that we ourselves must make the effort to walk the path. 'Opens like a flower, cut it with a knife' is also the title of a song written by my son, Brian, some five years before he died. I came across this song only after he died. When I examined the lyrics, I felt it was almost as if my son, knew that he would have a short life and had left me insights on how to deal with life without him through his song. It helped me understand that although grief cuts deep like a knife and leaves a gaping hole in your heart; it is nonetheless, the very source from which a flower can bloom. It is only when you come to acceptance of your grief that paradoxically, beautiful insights can arise. But this can only happen if we are prepared to delve deeper to investigate the meaning of it all - each for ourselves. I learned through the depths of sadness that before you can know kindness at its deepest levels, you must first understand suffering in its darkest places. Through my most difficult times, I understood the significance of the Triple Gem in my life - the Buddha as the best physician; the Dhamma as medicine; and the Sangha, as mentors for me not just to survive, but to emerge a better person. I only wish I could have gone through this journey without the death of my son but this is the journey that has been thrust upon me, albeit not by choice. Happiness and grief are part of human existence.

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詳細資料

詳細資料

• • 語言
  • 英文
  • 裝訂
  • 紙本平裝
• • ISBN
  • 9780648741510
  • 分級
  • 普通級
• • 頁數
  • 0
  • 商品規格
  • 18開17*23cm
• • 出版地
  • 美國
  • 適讀年齡
  • 全齡適讀
• • 注音
  • 級別

英文書＞人文社科＞心理學＞家庭兩性

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