Because I Said So

Riding in the car with my mother on a cold winters night, hearing the directive from my mother to purposefully say a sentence that included a curse word, just so that my mother could know her power over me and also knowing I could not say those words, my words would be nothing more than a whisper. I couldn't bring myself to loudly speak this sentence. As I spoke each word and did not speak the curse word, my mother turned back and hit me in the face, causing my mouth to bleed over my white cotton collar on my only winter coat.

You did not do what I told you! Now repeat what I said!

The second time I repeated the same as the first, without the curse word.

Again, my mother turned around and hit me. I knew this would continue until I spoke that word! Her anger was overtaking my mother. In her anger, she shouted again, You did not do what I told you!

In my tears, I asked, Why are you doing this?

The loud response was, Because I said so! She again directed me to speak the sentence, so in desperation, I spoke the curse word.

How do you balance your faith and obey your mother and father? It is such a struggle that I had to overcome. Because I said so doesn't provide a child a clear understanding on why a directive is given. I had to overcome and personally make the decision to change my heritage that I would pass down to my children and the next generations. Childhood does not have to be painful.

My aim through this book is to provide hope and encouragement to others that have experienced or are experiencing suffering. Know that you can overcome and become the person to your family that you wanted to have as a child. Abuse does not have to continue through the generations. Be encouraged!