Kipper A Hat, Chief!
Donovan Dimbledocky's Patience Enhancer is adapted for the race to develop the ultimate scrounging device and prevent the destabilisation of world begging. (THE BEGGING MACHINE)... A chef is blackmailed by 'grylloblatts' - a modified form of cockroaches bred to tidy up restaurants. (THE ASPARAGUS DOORKNOB DILEMMA)...Mr. Crittlepappy has the ghost of his own B.O. to contend with. Not to mention the spectral Eskimo in his bidet. The Pharaoh of Partick Cross is enlisted to help. ( (GULP) A G... G... GHOST!!!)...McPhee's whistling toast invention goes wrong. 'Serengeti ergot' causes shared hallucinations. (TROUBLE WITHOUT A CRUST)...Malcolm McStopheles - the most evil man in North Kelvinside - rears his head as a demonic bingo caller. (NUMBERS OF THE BEAST)... Strange multi-coloured meat is left on doorsteps and washing lines. Gordy Spoonbeam's unsolicited goods turn out better than Viagra. (THE CHINESE MEAT CONUNDRUM)...Lonely people have invisible pets - otherwise they'd be talking to themselves. McPhee starts an invisible pet boarding scheme. (IN SEARCH OF INVISIBLE PETS)... The real Santa is revealed as Frank Maclumberdunt. Somebody is bypassing his letter-sorting system with menacing messages - mainly in rhyme. (A MANIAC WRITES TO SANTA)...Beeminster Chutterfusty and the New Humanoid movement want to humanise the weather... Stand by for imploding typhoons and tidal tree plantings. (THE WEATHER SURPLUS)...The ghost of Quentin Inuit wants to reincarnate himself as chutney. McPhee brings his lump-flanging module to bear, but "money for the chutney" still rhymes with "bus fares to Putney". (A QUESTION OF LUMPS)...There's something unwholesome in the new House of Lairds. Political 'night-attirers' are unearthed, and Erin Scrutton has to pretend to be a ventriloquist. (AN UNPARLIAMENTARY PYJAMA-CASE SCANDAL)...Weirdo Mondalla wants to expand his polite dictatorship with his Bagtrumpet, powered by a spaced-out elephant. The Goat Hernia Research Centre have a toothpaste gun the size of a cannon. Interdimensional warfare with minty-fresh stripes. (THE PSYCHEDELIC WAR).This is the world of Agamemnon McPhee. Find out more inside!
The Evergreen Club
The Evergreen Club is not a program, a support group, or a polite pastime for older people waiting to be managed. It is a room. A room with trained chairs, an unexplained pineapple, an egg timer that means more than it measures, a bag of very serious ice, a raven, a cat with poor judgment, and people old enough to know that not everything should be improved just because someone with a brochure says so.At the center is Austen, who opens the door before you knock and understands that governance is what keeps a room from becoming a committee. But when the Department of Community Enrichment and Senior Engagement discovers the Club, it arrives with smiles, surveys, strategic visioning, and money. What begins as support becomes oversight, then programming, then paperwork, then the slow, cheerful conversion of a living place into an institution.Wry, sharp, and exacting, The Evergreen Club is a novel about age, absurdity, bureaucracy, and the quiet things worth defending before someone explains them to death.
The Evergreen Club
The Evergreen Club does not have a mission statement, a board of directors, or a brochure. It is simply a room.It contains a pineapple that presides over the central table and refuses to explain itself. It contains an egg timer that measures no known interval. It contains an eccentric ensemble: a man who guards a bag of Sonic nugget ice with paramilitary devotion, a woman who labels everything that holds still, a thousand-piece puzzle that will likely outlast Western civilization, two dogs named Steinbeck and Hemingway, an orange cat named Byron who claims every surface, and a raven named Poe who has been watching everything for years.The members are adequate. The room is adequate. And adequate is enough.But when the Department of Community Enrichment and Senior Engagement arrives with grants, surveys, and a brochure that uses the word "vibrant," the Club must decide how to defend its silence.The Evergreen Club is a deadpan literary comedy about social absurdity, the quiet rebellion of continuing, and why "adequate" might be the highest praise life has left to offer.
Cozy Girl Plant Mama
A simple way to unplug and do something creative after a long day.Cozy Girl Plant Mama includes 51 unique illustrations of indoor jungles and quiet home corners. This book features bold and clean linework that makes it easy to stay inside the lines. You do not need any art experience to make these pages look professional.Inside the book51 hand-drawn pages of potted ferns, terrariums, and plant nooksSingle-sided printing to help prevent marker bleed-throughLarge 8.5 by 8.5 inch square formatThick lines that are easy to see and colorSimple designs that do not feel like a chore to finishA better way to spend your eveningPut your phone in the other room and focus on something tactile. This book is perfect for those nights when you are too tired for a big project but want to relax on the couch. You can color while you listen to a podcast or enjoy your morning coffee. It is a practical way to turn a stressful afternoon into a few minutes of quiet time.Professional results for every skill levelForget the complicated patterns that feel like a test of patience. These illustrations are designed to be approachable and fun. The high-contrast designs ensure that your finished art looks vibrant and worthy of display every time. Whether you have five minutes or a whole rainy afternoon, you can create something satisfying without any added stress.Great for giftingThis book makes a thoughtful gift for plant lovers and anyone who needs a screen-free hobby. It works well with colored pencils, crayons, and markers. If you use alcohol markers, just place a blank sheet of paper behind your page to keep the next design clean.Add to cart and start coloring tonight.
Cozy Girl Coffee Shop Vibes
Relaxing Coffee Shop Scenes You Can Enjoy ColoringCozy Girl Coffee Shop Vibes is designed for those evenings when you want something calming, simple, and satisfying. No complicated patterns. No pressure to be perfect. Just clean, bold designs that are easy to color and look good when you are finished.This 8.5 x 11 inch coloring book includes 51 thoughtfully illustrated pages featuring aesthetic cafes, foamy latte art, fresh pastries, quiet book nooks, and rainy day window views. Each scene feels familiar and comforting, like settling into your favorite corner table with a warm drink and nowhere else to be.All pages are printed single sided to prevent bleed-through, making this book ideal for colored pencils, gel pens, crayons, and alcohol markers. The bold line style is intentionally forgiving, so small mistakes disappear and every page feels complete without effort.This book is meant for real life. Sit on the couch, play a podcast, sip your coffee, and color for twenty or thirty minutes without thinking too hard. The designs are simple enough to relax your mind while still giving you something beautiful to work on.What you will find inside: 51 easy-to-color cafe and coffee shop scenesBold, clean outlines that reduce eye strainSingle-sided pages to protect finished artworkLarge 8.5 x 11 inch format for comfortable coloringRelaxing illustrations of cafes, books, pastries, and rainIf you enjoy cozy spaces, quiet moments, and creative breaks without screens, this coloring book offers an easy way to unwind.Click Buy Now and enjoy a calm coffee shop moment anytime you need a break.
Cozy Girl Homebody Weekend Reset
A rainy afternoon, a fresh cup of coffee, and your phone in the other room.Take a break from the screen with 51 simple, cozy illustrations.Cozy Girl Homebody Weekend Reset is a coloring book designed for people who want to relax without the stress of complicated patterns.The bold, thick lines make it easy to stay inside the edges. You can finish a full page in one sitting while you listen to a podcast or sit on the couch. Every scene looks clean and professional when you are done, even if you are just starting out.Simple scenes for a quiet mindColor your way through relatable moments like a messy desk with a croissant, a laundry basket with a sleeping cat, and organized skincare shelves. These everyday images feel more like a hobby and less like a chore. You can focus on the rhythmic motion of your hand instead of a stressful to-do list.Quality for your favorite toolsThe pages are printed on thick, premium paper to help prevent ink from soaking through. Whether you prefer alcohol markers, gel pens, or colored pencils, the paper holds up well. You can experiment with different shades of sage, cream, and terracotta to make each room your own.What is inside: Your new evening routineSwap late-night scrolling for a few minutes of coloring before bed. This book gives you a simple way to wind down and clear your head after a long day. You will create something you are proud of, whether you have ten minutes or a whole Saturday morning.The clean designs make these pages great for hanging on the fridge or framing for your wall. Forget the tiny, intricate patterns that cause eye strain. These illustrations are about the simple joy of filling in a beautiful space.Add to cart and start coloring tonight.
Hot Scenes
Aghast at American cinema's descent into boundary-pushing violence, famed Hollywood director J. Edgar Schnatz decides to move in the opposite direction-a celebration of sexuality. But making the world's first mainstream porno comes with its own unique set of challenges, from finding a willing cast and sufficient financing to getting that all-important NC-17 rating.
Books Are Heavy
On a lark, Peter opens a used book store, Redcup, with high hopes of creating a paradise of words and art, His wife, Katie, is horrified and berates Peter for his irresponsible actions. Plowing ahead, Peter goes all in, assembling a team of oddball volunteers to run the store. After only two months in business, and bleeding money, Katie gets a new job in Kenucky, forcing Peter to decide the fate of the bookstore, which is taking on a life of its own. Descending into psychosis, Peter reaches the end of his tether after betraying Katie and watching Redcup come undone.
In the Name of the Turnip
Both hilarious and somber, this novel is many things - a whodunnit, an exploration of pro and con views on feminism, sexism, Biblical literalism, verbal contradictions, plus a religious and political allegory in an 1860 monastery. "A comic gem. Turnip, a narcissist who fantasizes hemay be deity and is inexplicitly proposed for sainthood. Thedisputation for and against him is awash with delightfulscatological biblical re-imaginations and humorous historical, literary and operatic allusions, and a colossal teasing of the religiosity of Turnip's gullible acolytes."Jack Bray, Attorney "Need to smile, chortle, laugh, guffaw? This may be the novel for you. It is a playful, erudite, silly, serious, a well-crafted historical and hysterical allegory in the mode of Animal Farm. The endless stream of linguistic, biblical, literary, Roman Catholic and contemporary political allusions will make your head spin and your face grin. Try it, you'll like it."Thomas Tobin, Clinical Psychologist "This lawyer-judge-author offers a sarcastic gift, wrapping the current American lawless kakistrocracy in Jesuit formation, Roman Catholic and literary history, to unwrap Trumpian displays of poisonous "isms" of all kinds in the fictitious and satirical person of the Very Reverend Father Rector Magnificus Adolphus Maximilien Turnip SJ. It might be fictitious, friends, and it is comical at times, but it is real life and real sad. Read it and laugh one minute and weep in the next."Sheila Bader, Attorney
Don't Shoot the Messenger
They've changed. He hasn't. And that's the problem.Alan Hope has spent his entire working life as a reporter for the local newspaper. Now in his early sixties, he's the newsroom dinosaur, firmly out of touch with the TikTok generation. So when his editor insists he starts an online blog, Alan treats it like free therapy. It's not like anyone is actually going to read it... right?Wrong! Because the more Alan's life unravels - both personally and professionally - the more his brutally honest posts explode in popularity. Suddenly, the tight-knit town of Bashford is reading Alan's innermost thoughts... His wife announces she no longer wants to grow old with him. His two grown children are more like strangers. His colleagues are mortified at the oversharing. Then he's forced to work with fellow reporter Lisa - young, ambitious and the epitomise of modern life. Everything Alan is not. But can someone from a completely different generation help Alan reconnect with his own family? And can Alan - a newspaper relic who now actually hates newspapers - help Lisa uncover the truth about her father?Perfect for fans of Beth O'Leary and Mike Gayle, Don't Shoot the Messenger is a charming comedy about family, friendship and finally embracing something new... even if you're a few decades late.
Johnny Fearless and other stories
Johnny Fearless is eighty-two and living at the Sycamore Tree Home for the Elderly. His nights are filled with dreams of dancing like Patrick Swayze. His mission? To execute the legendary Dirty Dancing lift with Mrs Bruce, assuming she's game, and assuming the Warden doesn't faint at the sight.Johnny Fearless and Other Stories is a collection of illustrated tales about extraordinary people attempting extraordinary things. Told in lively, rhythmic verse and brought to life with illustrations by Mark Beech, these stories are warm, witty and brimming with every day heroes - people who outwit adversity (and sometimes medical advice). Looking for a spark of inspiration? You'll find it here.
The Adventures of Breckinridge Elkins Volume 2
The Adventures of Breckinridge Elkins Volume 2: Ultimate Edition collects the riotous, over-the-top novel A Gent from Bear Creek. And this volume does not only have Breckinridge Elkins, you'll get Bearfield Elston, Buckner J. Grimes and Pike Bearfield as well - Howard's unique brand of humorous Western fiction.Presented in restored, corrected form, the book includes the original stories as well as a few drafts, synopses, and unfinished fragments. With an introduction by James Reasoner and cover art by Mark Wheatley, this updated edition supersedes the original print run and is no longer limited in quantity. Edited by Rob Roehm and Paul Herman.
The Rules of Seeing
Winner of the Debut Romantic Novel of the Year Award 2019 When you make eye contact, when you hold someone's gaze, it's the closest thing to knowing you're not alone in the world. 'This year's Eleanor Oliphant' Claire Allan 'Astonishing' Ruth Hogan 'Strikingly brilliant' Sun 'An exceptional book' Dundee Courier After 32 years of living her life in the dark, Jillian Safinova - Nova to everyone, except her mother - is learning to see. She can see that the sky is blue. And green. And grey. And a whole spectrum of colours, as changeable as her mood. She can see that clouds are surprisingly solid. And she can that Kate, a woman she's only just met, is going to change her life forever. Everyone is talking about The Rules of Seeing: 'A tender, tense drama about love and the unexpected places you can find it' Sunday Express 'A quirky love story which promises to make you see the world in a completely new way' Daily Mail 'Joe Heap's fascinating debut makes you think about the things most of us take for granted'Good Housekeeping 'An inspiring story of love, loss and friendship' #1 bestselling author Catherine Alliott 'It really made me re-evaluate how I see the world...outstanding'Katy Regan, author of Big Little Man 'A book that reveals the world in a different light and changes the way you see it...Extraordinary' Sunday Times bestseller Miranda Dickinson 'Startlingly, outstandingly good' Benjamin Ludwig, author of Ginny Moon
Sister Agatha at the Pearly Gates
She needs nothing short of a miracle...Sister Agatha lies on her deathbed. But as she takes her final breath, the 124-year-old nun experiences a vision. At the Pearly Gates, St Peter will only allow her entry into heaven if she can atone for her past wrongdoings. And so, the Irish nun is given a divine new mission: to return to earth and honour four unsung heroes.Accompanied by a stray Labrador, Sister Agatha embarks on a globe-spanning pilgrimage from Salem to Iceland, Turkey to Crete, meeting actors, activists and accidental sinners along the way. Each encounter brings laughter, chaos and several miracles - as well as the occasional crime or two.Back at the convent, the Mother Superior confronts the press, social media scandals and her own disbelief: is the world's most famous nun truly who she claims to be?Full of wit and wicked delight, Sister Agatha at the Pearly Gates is a joyful, life-affirming journey about faith, friendship and finding purpose when heaven itself has other plans. Perfect for fans of Jonas Jonasson and Richard Osman, this hilarious follow-on proves that it's never too late for one last adventure - even in the afterlife!
Storage Queen Chronicles
At Whiskey River Storage, people lock away more than furniture.Khaleesi runs her 250-unit self-storage facility with quiet authority and sharp observation. Located between a used-car lot and a fading strip mall, Whiskey River Storage appears ordinary from the outside. Inside, it holds divorce fallout, financial collapse, criminal secrets, broken relationships, and carefully curated reinventions.Khaleesi has learned that what people store often reveals more than what they admit.Behind every metal door is a story. A tenant who vanishes. A suspected automotive chop shop. A grieving mother who says to auction everything. A woman who may have helped someone disappear. A respected family hiding quiet tragedy. Late-night visits, cut locks, inconsistent paperwork, unexplained smells, and stories that do not quite add up begin to accumulate.Khaleesi notices patterns.As small irregularities grow more concerning, she must decide how far she is willing to go to protect her business, her reputation, and the stability she has built. She understands the moral tension between minding her own business and acknowledging what she clearly sees. In a place built to contain the past, some secrets refuse to stay stored.Written by physician Martin G. Meindl, Storage Queen Chronicles blends psychological suspense, dark humor, and emotional depth. Drawing from decades of professional experience observing crisis, denial, reinvention, and human behavior, Meindl crafts a suspense novel driven not by spectacle, but by character, moral ambiguity, and subtle psychological tension.This is a female-led suspense novel grounded in emotional intelligence rather than violence. It explores identity, deception, curated self-image, and the quiet strength required to confront uncomfortable truths.Perfect for readers of psychological suspense, domestic suspense, small-town drama, and stories featuring strong, capable women navigating complicated ethical landscapes.At Whiskey River Storage, nothing stays buried forever.And Khaleesi has never been afraid to open a door.
Easter TEACHERS Stress Relief Coloring Book
Teacher Easter & Spring Break Stress Relief Coloring Book Funny Spring Designs for Educators, Classroom Heroes & School StaffTeaching is not just a job. It is lesson plans before sunrise, grading after dinner, and answering "Is this for a grade?" more times than anyone should.By the time spring arrives, most teachers are not just ready for break. They are ready to breathe.Teacher Easter & Spring Break Stress Relief Coloring Book was created specifically for educators who give their energy, creativity, patience, and heart to their students all year long. This adult coloring book blends classroom-inspired designs with uplifting spring motifs to help teachers decompress, recharge, and transition into spring break mode.Inside you will find: - Intricate floral patterns blended with books, apples, pencils, and chalkboard elements- Easter eggs filled with ABC letters, math symbols, and playful school details- Calming mandalas featuring rulers, paperclips, and teacher life icons- 20 humorous teacher reflection prompts for end-of-term reset- Encouraging written content to support stress relief and burnout preventionThis is not a generic floral coloring book with the word "teacher" added to the cover. Every page was designed with educators in mind. From subtle classroom humor to peaceful spring garden scenes, this book honors the real experience of teaching.Coloring has been shown to reduce stress and promote relaxation by shifting the mind into a focused, creative state. For teachers who spend their days managing classrooms, planning lessons, grading assignments, and supporting students emotionally, even a few minutes of quiet creative time can make a meaningful difference.Perfect for: - Elementary teachers- Middle school teachers- High school educators- Teaching assistants- School counselors- Administrators- Homeschool educators- End of year teacher gifts- Spring break self care- Teacher appreciation giftsWhether you are closing out the semester, preparing for spring break, or simply needing a calm moment between responsibilities, this book offers a creative escape designed specifically for educators.Teachers give endlessly.This book gives something back. No grading. No lesson plans. No meetings.Just flowers, patterns, laughter, and a reminder that you deserve rest too.
Stories to Share With My Partner Book 11
Weaving an anthology is like stitching a patchwork quilt, each story a precious scrap from the soul.Choosing which to include?Well, that is a delicate dance, for too much sugar makes hearts cloy, and humour without bite leaves the soul hollow. Genre niches squeeze too tight, some turn away, shadows clinging.But striking the perfect chord, a symphony on paper, is a leap of faith."Stories to Share with My Partner - Book 11" is my melody, a chorus of whispers and shouts, hoping to touch every string of your heart.Some titles bare their secrets; others play hide-and-seek, but in each, I offer a piece of myself, hoping you find yours reflected within.
Abraca-Doodle
He has magic hands, and all I can think of as I watch him perform his tricks is how I have a magic ring to show him.I can make all sorts disappear.I want his banana in my fruit salad, but when he wants more from the relationship, I'm not sure I'm ready.Abraca-Doodle is as spicy as it is cringy, with all your least favorite terminologies.So, pump up that ding-a-ling and prepare your self-saucing taco - Abraca-Doodle is laughably steamy.
A Madcap Cruise
Sunlight glimmers on the Mediterranean, laughter spills across the deck, and the prim order of Edwardian life is left bobbing in the ship's wake. Here, amid a motley band of friends, the boundaries between adventure and farce dissolve, inviting readers into a world where every port promises both cultural encounters and comic misadventure. This humorous travel narrative, long lost to the tides of time, captures the irrepressible spirit of early twentieth-century fiction-where lighthearted exploration and sharp observation blend in the tradition of Jerome K Jerome, yet with a voice and verve all its own. Rediscovered after decades out of print and now republished by Alpha Editions, this buoyant tale charts a Mediterranean voyage that is as much about the unpredictable currents of friendship and camaraderie as it is about the exotic landscapes and bustling harbours visited along the way. With each page, the story delights in the absurdities and joys of travel, offering a wry, affectionate portrait of its era and its travellers. For classic literature readers and armchair travellers alike, it is a rare invitation to embark on a journey where the scenery is as vivid as the personalities, and where every mishap is met with wit and warmth. Restored for today's and future generations, this edition stands as both a collector's item and a cultural treasure, preserving not only the laughter but also the subtle social insights of its time. Its blend of adventure novel energy and gentle satire makes it a singular gem for anyone enchanted by the Edwardian era, the art of lighthearted storytelling, or the enduring appeal of a well-told voyage. Whether you are seeking literary nostalgia or the thrill of classic, sun-drenched escapades, this is a book to be cherished and shared anew.
Frazzled Moms Play Matchmaker
Love covers a multitude of sins... but sometimes it needs a well-timed push.Between three teens on the brink of independence and triplets who never sleep past dawn, Dana and Josie already have their hands full. But when two grumpy, love-averse coworkers make their lives even messier, the frazzled moms step in with a little matchmaking to turn their nightmare colleagues into each other's blessing.What could go wrong?As family drama unfolds and a village of volunteers descends upon a women's shelter, the well-meaning meddling turns into mishap. Soon Dana and Josie discover that love in all its forms isn't something you can manage, organize, or fix, no matter how hard you try.With humor, heart, and a cast of characters you'll want to invite over for coffee, The Frazzled Moms Play Matchmaker is a mom-com about motherhood, friendship, and the surprising ways love shows up when you least expect it.
Drafts, Disclaimers and Deaths
Jamie Cross is a high street solicitor with significant regret for his life choices, and even more contempt for his clients.Under the cover of anonymity, Jamie runs a popular social media account where he tweets about the daily madness of life as a lawyer not at the pinnacle of his career - unreasonable clients, moral gymnastics, corporate greed, and the untold compromises lawyers make to survive. The tweets are sharp, occasionally funny (well to Jamie) and gained him a substantial following.When a wealthy and controversial client featured in Jamie's anonymous tweets is found murdered, the joke stops being funny. Very quickly, the police take an interest. So does the Solicitors Regulation Authority. So do Jamie's colleagues, some of whom recognise themselves a little too clearly in his words.As the investigation tightens, Jamie finds himself trapped between professional duty, personal survival, and the uncomfortable possibility that his writing may have done real harm. His firm closes ranks. Old loyalties are tested. Office politics turn poisonous. And the line between satire and responsibility becomes dangerously blurred.At the centre of it all is a law firm that looks respectable from the outside and barely holds together within. The senior partner doing everything to protect his own interests. Junior staff know more than they say. Long-serving support staff see everything and forget nothing. Everyone has a version of events. Everyone has something to lose.As Jamie tries to clear his name, he begins to uncover truths far more unsettling than the tweets that started it all. The murder is not an isolated act, but the final move in a much longer game. One rooted in resentment and misplaced loyalty. Drafts, Disclaimers and Deaths is a wry, witty legal whodunnit that blends dark humour with a sharp eye for professional hypocrisy. If you enjoy books like Thursday Murder Club, then you'll enjoy Drafts Disclaimers and Deaths.
Poems, Essays and Shuchhut
Fal's Boy: Poems, Essays, and Shuchhut is a thought-provoking literary collection that blends short fiction, reflective essays, and poetry into a deeply personal exploration of faith, identity, race, and the human search for meaning.Written over a lifetime of curiosity and reflection, the book invites readers into an intimate dialogue-one person to another-about God, belief, culture, and moral responsibility. Rather than offering ideology or instruction, the author asks questions: How well are we known by others, and how well do we know ourselves? How do history and heritage shape our understanding of ourselves? Is faith the matrix of reality? Are facts always subject to individual interpretation? How far can Truth be stretched before it becomes False?Through allegorical stories set in the surreal town of Shuchhut, alongside autobiographical reflections and spiritual meditations, the book examines political systems, social contradictions, and personal conscience with humor, insight, and quiet intensity. The tone is contemplative, often playful, sometimes challenging-but always grounded in lived experience.This collection is ideal for readers who enjoy philosophical literature, Christian inquiry, spiritual reflection, and introspective writing that resists easy answers. Fal's Boy is not a manifesto or a memoir. It is a conversation-about belief, belonging, and the enduring human need to understand who we are and why we are here.
I'll Tell You What Annoys Me
A book for all us old guys to have a good, light-hearted moan about life! If you see things happening all around you that really annoy you, but you don't want to say anything, read this and you'll find that you agree with most of them. Furthermore, you'll probably be able to add many more yourself. The older you get, the more things seem to annoy you. But you tend to be more tolerant - or do you?
Today I Ate a Biscuit
It began with a biscuit. Not a grand biscuit, nor a terrible one-simply a biscuit, unremarkable in every way but the one that mattered most: it was there.From the first bite to the final crumb, this is the saga of that biscuit, told with the seriousness it never asked for and the depth it could never deserve. Along the way, hunger wrestles with hesitation, distractions arrive in the form of a knock at the door and phantom phone calls, and the great philosophical questions of our time are asked-such as whether regret tastes different when it is edible, and why the fridge is always worth checking at least three times.What unfolds is a journey of persistence, doubt, distraction, redemption, and peace-a reflection not just on food, but on the act of continuing when there's no clear reason to. It is an ode to imperfection, an examination of patience, and, somehow, a quiet celebration of knowing when something is enough.The biscuit is long gone now, but its story remains.
I Keep My Shadow Light
I Keep My Shadow Light is a darkly funny social commentary novel about feeling lost and learning how to belong in Berlin. Berlin: Europe's promised city. But like many new arrivals, Maeve is struggling to get the basics down. No permanent home, no job, no lasting romance or reliable friendships. Just the arms of the German state, sweeping her into its heady, bureaucratic embrace. The story begins on Maeve's first day of an integration course - a requirement for her unemployment benefits. For the next seven months, this group of migrants and misfits will grow together and fall apart as they are pushed to integrate, assimilate, and learn the language in order to get a job. We witness police barging into the classroom, a racist supply teacher, a troubled classmate suffering PTSD, and tense debates about 'why women are best suited to placing the flowers on the table'. Despite the revolving door of classmates, the course offers Maeve a sense of grounding, community, and unlikely friendships.There's Viktor, escaping persecution in Chechnya. His sharp tongue and hard-set expression disguise his softer parts. Partying and caring for his flatmate Svenja distract him from his internal monsters. Zehra moved to Berlin for an arranged marriage with a German-Turkish man. She is hardworking, neat and sweet, but brewing frustrations.Karam, Maeve's flatmate, fled war in Syria. His warm and open demeanour leaves him vulnerable to being moulded by Berlin's rough hands. After four years in Germany without seeing his family, he feels estranged from integral parts of himself. And Maeve, from the UK. She's a dreamer, an overthinker, and has a dose of millennial insecurity. She puts her energy into trying to fix the world around her and looking for love in the wrong places, ignoring the lack of love she feels for herself. We follow the ups and downs of these four 20-something-year-olds as they struggle to get a grip on who they are and attempt to build a lasting home in a disposable new world. The book tackles themes of urban loneliness, the complicated relationships between the state and the individual, dominant culture and subcultures, family members, friends, flatmates and lovers. It looks at how these relationships are affected by political and religious views, or formed despite them. The setting - Berlin - alludes to how history plays a hand in the present, and how quickly a place and its people can change.I Keep My Shadow Light asks what it means to belong in contemporary Europe.If you liked Perfection, White Teeth, or Leaving the Atocha Station, you may like I Keep My Shadow Light.
From Lompoc with Love
"James Flynn is debonair, deadly and delightfully deranged as he undertakes his latest adventure in From Lompoc With Love." -Gary Gerlacher, bestselling author of the AJ Docker seriesAn insane world demands an equally unhinged hero.A beautiful Russian sleeper agent living in Lompoc, California, contacts MI6. She wants to defect with all her secrets, but only if James Flynn brings her in from the cold. There's just one hitch-Flynn doesn't work for MI6. He's a psychiatric patient convinced he's an international super spy.Now living in Switzerland with the love of his life, Flynn has retired from the "secret agent" business. But when duty calls, Flynn steps up. Delusional as ever, he travels to California. MI6 sends a handler to handle him, but Flynn is Flynn-an unhinged hero determined to save the world, whether it wants to be saved or not.
A Tale of Two Toyshops
Sometimes the greatest gift is a second chance at love. Five years after losing her husband and daughter in a tragic accident, Simone Beauvais has no room in her life for Christmas or for love. Instead, she hides behind the polished windows of Jeffersons, the perfectly ordered toyshop she runs with precision and control. Across the street, Gabriel Lovejoy embraces everything she cannot: colour, chaos, laughter, and the magic of Christmas. When their rival shops are drawn into a festive competition, Simone and Gabriel are forced into each other's worlds. Slowly, his warmth begins to melt the ice around her guarded heart. But when a snow globe in Gabriel's shop unlocks memories too painful to bear, Simone must decide whether she can truly open herself to joy again, or whether some wounds run too deep. Set against twinkling lights and falling snow in the Cheshire town of Leytonsfield, this tender and romantic story will sweep you into the wonder of the season and remind you that sometimes love really is the greatest gift of all.
The Middle Benchers
Welcome to Patna in the early 2000s - a world without smartphones, where friendship was real, jokes were louder than lectures, and hostel life was a never-ending comedy show. The Middle Benchers follows a gang of carefree college boys through their unforgettable graduation days - from chaotic classrooms and midnight Maggi feasts to surprise inspections, movie outings at Mona Theatre, and the legendary hostel pranks that became campus folklore. Caught between dreams, deadlines, and endless laughter, they discover that college life is less about marks and more about memories.Funny, nostalgic, and deeply heartfelt, The Middle Benchers is a tribute to every student, lived for friendship, and laughed their way through the most unforgettable years of youth.Because before life got serious - it was beautifully, hilariously simple.
Throwing the Hammer
Paranoid administrators, interdepartmental feuds, quirky staff members, and an eccentric headmaster: welcome to Winston Grant High School.Mark Patterson has a master's degree in physics, wants to do nothing more than surf and ski, and believes that high school teaching will be the cushy job of his dreams. He receives a rude awakening when he becomes a physics teacher at Winston Grant, a begrudging little brother amidst rival private school heavyweights. From the outset, Mark must tiptoe through a virtual minefield of Procrustean rules, coddling parents, scheming colleagues, and, of course, teen-aged students. Things don't go well, inside or outside the classroom. His students call him Mr. Goofegg. His football team is pathetic. His lunch-table kids behave like Neanderthals. His teaching supervisor, aka the "education implementation strategist," criticizes him for using equations. His colleagues have even organized a betting pool for when he will get fired. And when Mark discovers that a weak student in his class is a physics genius, he finds himself caught in the middle of a conflict between father and son, a conflict which could destroy the young man's potential. Or help Mark find his.
Throwing the Hammer
Paranoid administrators, interdepartmental feuds, quirky staff members, and an eccentric headmaster: welcome to Winston Grant High School.Mark Patterson has a master's degree in physics, wants to do nothing more than surf and ski, and believes that high school teaching will be the cushy job of his dreams. He receives a rude awakening when he becomes a physics teacher at Winston Grant, a begrudging little brother amidst rival private school heavyweights. From the outset, Mark must tiptoe through a virtual minefield of Procrustean rules, coddling parents, scheming colleagues, and, of course, teen-aged students. Things don't go well, inside or outside the classroom. His students call him Mr. Goofegg. His football team is pathetic. His lunch-table kids behave like Neanderthals. His teaching supervisor, aka the "education implementation strategist," criticizes him for using equations. His colleagues have even organized a betting pool for when he will get fired. And when Mark discovers that a weak student in his class is a physics genius, he finds himself caught in the middle of a conflict between father and son, a conflict which could destroy the young man's potential. Or help Mark find his.
Kingdom Of The Sprayhound Kids
Can someone lose innocence if one's early life is mostly bereft of it? Kingdom of the Sprayhound Kids takes readers on a blazing thrill ride that is both funny and disturbing. The book examines the generational gap between an old man from the Woodstock era and today's youth. It's the real story of what goes on in public education today-a tale that teachers, educators, and students will never tell you. The story centers around Mr. George, a campus security monitor at Todos Los Santos-a middle school where bad behavior knows no limit and learning is an alien concept. He goes on a journey through the violence, anger, and rollicking adventures that consume the lives of young people. Mr. George delivers a powerful address on the state of education in America. His struggles become yours as he searches for ways to work within a system that is destined for failure. He grapples with his own place in the world as he tries to keep hundreds of youngsters from falling into the abyss of hate and ignorance. Mr. George uses his sense of humor to give these kids a sense of decency and de-escalate the daily war that consumes them. He tracks the comings and goings of students who refuse to be tamed by an adult world they see no reason to respect.
Kingdom Of The Sprayhound Kids
Can someone lose innocence if one's early life is mostly bereft of it? Kingdom of the Sprayhound Kids takes readers on a blazing thrill ride that is both funny and disturbing. The book examines the generational gap between an old man from the Woodstock era and today's youth. It's the real story of what goes on in public education today-a tale that teachers, educators, and students will never tell you. The story centers around Mr. George, a campus security monitor at Todos Los Santos-a middle school where bad behavior knows no limit and learning is an alien concept. He goes on a journey through the violence, anger, and rollicking adventures that consume the lives of young people. Mr. George delivers a powerful address on the state of education in America. His struggles become yours as he searches for ways to work within a system that is destined for failure. He grapples with his own place in the world as he tries to keep hundreds of youngsters from falling into the abyss of hate and ignorance. Mr. George uses his sense of humor to give these kids a sense of decency and de-escalate the daily war that consumes them. He tracks the comings and goings of students who refuse to be tamed by an adult world they see no reason to respect.
How to Fuck a Cantaloupe
It starts bad, it gets worse, and the end - well, you'll have to read it to find out. Life was simple for Dan Savage, unencumbered by dreams or ambition. He got by just fine, content in his little pocket of the world. He had no desire to step outside of what he knew, or broaden his horizons, or fucking - grow. He had no desire to, but as is often the case, desire frequently plays little role in the trajectory of life. Forced from his home, a comedy of misfortune follows Dan as he attempts to navigate his new life with a busted moral compass. A breakup, a melon, a stoner, and a policeman who looks like a testicle: these are only a handful of the ingredients that make up the shit-soup that Dan's life has devolved into as he is pursued by a mysterious law-firm, the head of a disability centre, and the unlikely threat of fame. Dan's story isn't for the faint-hearted, or those with high moral standards, or children. It's definitely not for children. But if you are feeling brave, let's open up and fuck this cantaloupe.
Baron Syndicate (-1)
Baron Von Stupor is his name, or so he thinks. For the past year the eccentric patient has been living in a mental asylum, struggling to understand himself in a world that doesn't understand him. While he yearns to be able to live a normal life, his long days of checkers and psychological therapy is doing nothing more than despond him further. To make matters worse, Stupor has found a new bully in the egomaniacal William Lanzendorf, who prefers to treat this minimum-security mental hospital like his own penitentiary. Whenever the hateful security manager feels slighted, the cameras turn away and dubious things happen. Topping it off, management is oblivious because of the amazing biannual reviews they've been receiving for five years running. Stupor's monotonous lifestyle is turned upside-down when the gigantic, angry patient C26 is involuntarily committed, ranting about his dishonorable capture. While Stupor aggressively seeks friendship from "the coolest guy in the whole facility", C26 wants nothing to do with him and prefers to work on his plans to escape confinement. Through his encounters with these people, Stupor will learn more about himself than he ever knew; he will learn that this is his story, and the only person who deserves to write it is him.
Glasgow Celtic Twitchers' Society
Glasgow Celtic Twitcher's Society, what is it? Think Anthony de Mello, think Paulo Coelho, think of the Celestine Prophecy, then think of the passion of Celtic football supporters, the colour green, the flying squawking magic that is birds, and the other-worldliness of a Tennent's super lager hash den in a back-room kitchenette somewhere in a north Glasgow Housing Scheme. Combine this with the mystic tradition and a dash of the Scottish Zen Absurdity movement, and...you get close. Or it's just a simple story, inhabited by two pals, two seekers of spiritual truth, embarking on an adventure that would bring them from Possilpark to Burundi, from a cottage on the Isle of Skye to a squat in Hackney. Some would say it's a poem of a dream of an impressionist's experiential Caledonia. Ignore them, they are not well.
Ladies Almanack
A "striking lesbian manifesto and a deft parody" by the acclaimed author of Nightwood. (-Library Journal)Nearly 100 years after its original 1928 publication sent shockwaves through the literary scene, Ladies Almanack reigns as a brilliant modernist composition and one of the most audacious lesbian texts of the 20th century. At once a scathing social satire and a love letter to the wealthy expatriates of Paris high society, the book delights in its cast of characters, who are clear analogues to Barnes' lesbian literary contemporaries--and the book's first readers.Arranged by month and written in a pastiche of Restoration literature, Ladies Almanack records the life and lovers of Dame Evangeline Musset, a pseudonymous stand-in for Natalie Clifford Barney. Accompanied for the first time by Barnes' original Elizabethan-style woodcut illustrations, this new edition also features a sharp, impassioned introduction by Sarah Schulman reflecting on the ways in which lesbian lives have changed--and haven't--since the 1920s. After decades out of print, Dalkey Archive is proud to revive the Ladies Almanack for contemporary readers: a classic that delivers all the salacious drama of The L Word with the literary wit and wordplay of Shakespeare.
Coffee with Vodka
Three women. Three secrets. One unravelling summer.Thanks to a childhood traumatic brain injury, Dee Dee Bremen's life runs on a cocktail of ADHD, a temperamental memory, and anxiety attacks that arrive uninvited and overstay their welcome. Yet, somehow, she was able to pull herself together and, with her best friend, Maxine, she is on the brink of launching Altered States, a combo art gallery and gift shop that feels like a real, adult step forward. For Dee, it's an upgrade from scraping by on commissioned art. For Maxine, it's a bold exit from her sensible-but-suffocating job as an elementary school art teacher. They've secured a space, hired their first employee-Genevieve, a polished-but-fraying mother of teens shopping for her own second act-and amassed enough paint to alarm the fire marshal. They have a plan. They have momentum. In theory, this should go beautifully.Reality, however, did not get the memo.A drunken family confession at a funeral flips a switch in Dee's brain-and not a helpful one. Her nights become filled with vivid dreams of fire, explosions, and a shadowy figure who feels less symbolic and more...personal. As the nightmares bleed into daylight, Dee starts to wonder if they're not dreams at all. Could they be memories? Asking that question sends her skidding toward a familiar cliff-the same one she nearly went over as a teenager, when trauma, medication, and terrifying visions culminated in a full-blown breakdown. Unfortunately, ignoring the problem only makes it louder. The visions intensify. The whispers sharpen. And when Dee's secret fling with Cooper-a married man, poor choice, noted-collides spectacularly with her new employee (who turns out to be his wife...surprise!), the chaos spills out of her head and into her carefully constructed life.As Dee struggles to stay grounded, Maxine faces the slow implosion of her own marriage, and Genevieve-keenly aware of how little of her life actually belongs to her-quietly unravels behind a curated, capable smile. Together, these three women are knotted up in secrets they didn't ask for, relationships they can't cleanly escape, and a past that refuses to stay buried-no matter how much they'd prefer to paint over it.Told in alternating perspectives with biting humor and gut-punch emotion, Coffee with Vodka is a story about friendship, fragile beginnings, and the kind of truths that refuse to stay buried. Perfect for fans of Ghosts by Dolly Alderton and Elin Hilderbrand's The Rumor, this is a novel about the chaos we hide, the family we choose, and what it means to find your way-again.
Wanted
Wanted: A cook Domestic Dialogues is a domestic comedy that explores the humorous trials of a newlywed couple settling into home life in New York City, specifically their efforts to hire a suitable cook. The story opens with the couple, full of youthful idealism and refined tastes, facing the practical challenges of managing their household. Their relative arranges for a cook, expecting a smooth transition into domestic harmony, but instead, the couple encounters amusing mishaps and personality clashes that disrupt their carefully planned life. The narrative captures the contrast between romanticized domestic ideals and the often chaotic reality of everyday living. Themes of societal expectations, cultural differences, and the humor found in navigating new roles are woven throughout the story. The couple's predicament with their cook, Anna, highlights broader social issues while maintaining a light, comedic tone. This opening sets the stage for a critique of social norms wrapped in witty dialogue and situational comedy, offering insight into early 20th-century domestic life and the challenges of balancing aspirations with reality.
