South of Happily
"Unlike most women's fiction, South of Happily goes beyond the usual themes of marriage, divorce, and family history. We get down to the heart of who is Katy Kiss, an astute young woman caught in a maelstrom of betrayal, grief, and self-doubt." -Lizbeth Leigh Jones, author of Ulterior ColorsIn the coastal town of Dufferin Beach, Katy Kiss is searching for the hope she had as a child, when her immigrant grandmother pinched her cheeks and promised a lifetime of "Happily".At twenty-six, that Happily is nowhere to be found. Katy is stuck working in her family's Hungarian restaurant, and her marriage feels like it's been churned through the business end of a meat grinder.Taking her best friend's advice, Katy tries therapy where she scores zero for effort, eight for avoidance, and ten out of ten for having the attention span of a small rodent. But she's about to get a divorce, her life is unraveling, and she's forced to explore the one topic her family won't go near. Emotion.As the stress of her situation builds, Katy longs for the support of her parents, but her dad is misbehaving in a foreign country, and her indignant mother is holed up in Paris. All they've left behind is a mysterious document she wasn't meant to find.When a late-night call wakes her from a haunting dream, the secrets about that document begin coming out. She'll need her passport, her closest friends, and her annoying therapist to see her through the calamities, both domestic and international.If candor and snark can save her from herself, Katy might discover the truth hiding between the lies, and find the Happily she's been searching for.
Murders at the Montgomery Hall Hotel
"Laugh out loud . . . I flew through it . . . I was totally hooked." --Goodreads reviewer, five stars A sleuthing librarian and her friends spend Halloween at a generations-old estate where they discover murder runs in the family . . . Prunella Pearce, Bree, and the other ladies of the Winterbottom Women's Institute are planning to spend Halloween at the Montgomery Hall Hotel murder-mystery weekend--just as the historical venue's past comes back to haunt it. The hotel is now in the incapable hands of Tarragon Montgomery, with its faltering finances overseen by elderly matriarch Cecily. Meanwhile, the local actress hired to play Psychic Selma for the weekend has been replaced by an impostor. But who is she, and what is her agenda? Pru and Bree have some experience solving mysteries, but as Montgomery Hall is engulfed by a storm and the bodies start piling up, they may need a little assistance from Pru's delectable detective, Andy Barnes, in order to crack the case . . .
Death and the Diva
May was determined that it would be a cold day in a very hot place before she let herself be drawn into a confrontation with her high school drama rival again. Funny thing though, when she wasn't getting all up in May's grill, the woman was really rocking the whole "playing dead" thing. Surely, May's old nemesis has been taking acting lessons. Otherwise, she could never perform the role of corpse so realistically. Wait... Asked to take part in a play for charity at her high school alma mater, Maybell Ferth thought it was a fun way to do something she loved while helping kids in her home town. But, she'd forgotten one really important thing. That thing's name was Patrice Reynolds, and she'd been the bane of May's existence in high school drama class. May had promised herself she'd never let the woman get under her skin again. But she hadn't realized Patrice was in charge of the charity play. And when the woman ends up dead, May's very public battles with her shine a light on May as the number one suspect. The only way to clear her name is to put her professional mourning skills into practice at the funeral. With a murder to solve, and her own future at stake, May's acting chops are going to be sorely tested.
Provincial Lady Series
Take a step back in time to the 1930s as this semi-autobiographical series chronicles the daily life of an upper-class lady. Presented as diary entries, these delightful novels delve into English countryside life and a provincial lady's many mishaps. In the depths of Devon, England, a disaster-prone, upper-class lady lives with her uncommunicative husband, their young children, a French nanny, the cook and a number of household servants. But this picture of perfect 1930s family life isn't all that it seems. Their grand house is never heated, the provincial lady is never dressed in the proper attire and she's rarely ever seen the latest show. In her self-depricating diary entries, the lady records her domestic disasters and embarrassing misadventures. E. M. Dalafield's books are charming, witty, immensely honest, and sure to make you laugh. This beautiful volume includes all of the books in The Provincial Lady Series: - Diary of a Provincial Lady - The Provincial Lady Goes Further - The Provincial Lady in America - The Provincial Lady in Wartime Read & Co. Classics is proud to have republished The Provincial Lady Series in this wonderful new collection, complete with a specially-commissioned author biography. A must-read for collectors of E.M Dalafield's work and fans of epistolory novels.
The Caddywampus
Crockett and Bront禱 Cook simply want a quiet, murder-free honeymoon. Their plans are thwarted, however, when they arrive in a quaint German town and discover a mysterious creature is stalking the grounds of their lodging. As the week unfolds, shocking revelations come to light about the creature, the town, and the lodgers who surround them: a blustery colonel, a pugnacious writer, a dysfunctional young family, and a stately Dutch dame. Can they find out the secrets of the inn before it's too late? Or will they fall prey to the mythic creature which stalks the woods?The Caddywampus is the second mystery in the Beatrice series. Join Crockett and Bront禱 as they hone their detective skills and attempt to uncover the mysteries of the demon bear!
Lady Bhavani and the Necklace
Shanks and his wife Devi want to get hold of Lady Bhavan's Expensive Necklace, though for different purposes. They are ready to pinch it but they have to ovecome the combined security at the palace consisting of constable Raghav, Chokku the smart dog, their own daughter Mala, Lady Bhavani's companion Indu, an invisible boyfriend, all headed by Lady Bhavani herself.
Return to the Wild
Following on from his bestselling novels A Year in the Wild and Back to the Bush, James Hendry returns to the setting of Sasekile Private Game Reserve for another tale that takes the reader behind the scenes with the MacNaughton brothers, Angus and Hugh. It is four and a half years since Angus's last year in the wild when he was newly appointed to the position of head ranger at Sasekile. Much has happened in the interim.In Return to the Wild there is high drama, much hilarity and close encounters with wildlife, fire and human incompetence as Angus unexpectedly returns to Sasekile to take on the training of a motley group of would-be game rangers with his usual stark but eloquent honesty. Alongside him, Hugh manages the lodge and its colourful staff with a varying degree of competence as events lurch from mishap to potential catastrophe.Whether you are a fan of the MacNaughtons' previous misadventures or a reader new to their story, Return to the Wild is a highly amusing, engaging and heartfelt read.
The Misunderstood Angel
This is not a children's book. Branyrd is a different kind of angel. She has a difficult time being understood because of her habit of getting into all kinds of trouble and for her unacceptable language. Angels are not supposed to swear. This angel must earn levels to be accepted by the LORD. She is presently at Angel Fourth Class and must ascend to Angel First Class in order to be given a mission to travel to Earth to help a human in trouble. Once she reaches Angel First Class, she is given a mission and travels to Earth to help a battered woman and her child. Since she is so new to the ways on Earth, Branyrd is accompanied by her Guardian Angel Benedicto, Angel First Class on High, who guides and advises her. Branyrd doesn't know what she will do or how she will complete this mission. She must show her strengths and succeed, or she may be demoted. What she finds on Earth is not what she expected. It certainly is nothing like Heaven. There are dangerous people but also those who she will miss dearly when she must leave.
The Secret Life of an Uncool Mom
From the creator of viral Tiktok sensation, Mammy Banter, comes a hilarious warts-and-all novel about modern motherhood - and how having it all sometimes isn't what you think it might be.She used to want it all.Now she just wants a nap.Tara Gallagher is knackered. She used to dream of being Beyonc矇 but suddenly she's thirty-six - with three kids, a loving husband, a very boring job - and instead of headlining Coachella, she's in her pyjamas on a Friday night, watching cheesy TV.It's time for a mommy makeover. She's going to show her teenage daughter she's still cool. She's going to show her husband she's still an absolute ride. She's going to show her colleagues she's still a Boss Bish.But most of all, she's going to prove to herself that she can still be a mom, still work full time, and still be Beyonc矇...The debut novel from viral TikTok star, Mammy Banter
The Unlikely Success of a Copy-Paste Developer
Leo Larsson is a change-averse software developer with a forgettable presence and a life as bland and dry as Swedish crisp bread. Leo has three goals: keep a low profile, avoid customer support at all costs, and deal with an obsessed dentist with a curious and possibly abnormal fascination with Leo's teeth.Unfortunately, David, the spandex wearing know-it-all, mandates that everybody in the company, except architects, must provide customer support services. The unambitious Leo decides that if climbing the corporate ladder means avoiding daily human interaction, it's time to scale. If only Leo wasn't such a lazy developer with a plow-shaped smile.Turns out, being lazy is hard work.
Halo Dolly
Joe LaFlam is back, and he's up to his private eyeballs in conspiracies. The Spelunkers are back, too, but are they only puppets in the take-over-the-world game? And is Q real? Joe's latest encounter with the infernal powers gives us the inside scoop on just about every conspiracy theory going, including Q, Q+, the Reptilians, nanobots, transhumanism, MedBeds, cerebral mesh, AI, chemtrails, the Deep State, CERN, portals, quantum computers, the metaverse, the multiverse, parallel earths, the alien invasion, Project Bluebeam, and HAARP. The world will soon discover that the insights gained on Joe's journey are too valuable to miss.You need to read to believe. But more importantly, in the end will Joe finally get the girl?
The Crystal Orchid's Blossom
This book takes you to another world and teach you about a girl's unknown tears and how the boy struggles to satisfy the needs of the girl.
It Could Always Be Worse!
This is a book about the love of words and those people who abuse them - THE FAKES! Those people who always seem to say or write all the "right things" but hidden behind their facade lies malicious intent or even worse. This book tries to expose these fakes you may have already suspected are in your life but have never been able to nail them on it. You will now have a guide to doing just that. It is provided by a silly old bugger with experience in spotting fakes. The scourge of our time. All done of course with his tongue firmly in his cheek.
Lucky Stiff
Barbara Bellesi Zito's debut novel is a darkly funny, quirky tale that will enchant, amuse, and get you thinking about modern values. Larry will win your heart as fast as he wins the lottery-in an instant. Larry Sortino is a lucky guy. Never mind that he's just been laid off. Or that his wife is having an affair with his best friend. Now that he's hit the lottery for millions, he's done with all that nonsense. Any day now he'll claim the money. Or at least tell someone about it. Maybe. He just needs a little time to think. When Larry's old girlfriend reappears, he wonders if he might have a second chance at happiness after all. As a nosy journalist tries to get the scoop on who this reluctant lottery winner is, Larry knows he needs to figure it all out quickly. But will this lucky stiff end up a big loser?
Half Crocked
"Insanely funny!" "This is the wackiest, funniest series I've read in years!""The minute I get my hands on one of these books, everything gets pushed aside until I'm finished. I am totally hooked on this series." Hook, Lie, and Sinker.When a string of idiotic decisions lands Bobbie in a boatload of trouble, she's got to keep a lid on her temper before she winds up on the next episode of Snapped! With her cousin Earl's hand in one pocket and partner Grayson picking the other, Bobbie's cash is disappearing faster than banana pudding at a Baptist pot luck. Oddly, so are the folks in the tiny fishing village of Astor, Florida. Then again, it's the middle of gator-hunting season. And with horrendous tales of a murderous beast trolling the riverbanks, just who's the angler and who's the bait is as blurry as swamp gas at midnight. Bang Sticks. Dead-Eye Gravy. Limbic Pentameter. Given the deadly school of suspects they're forced to wade through, the mismatched trio will have to cast a pretty wide net to snag this monstrous culprit. Will they be able to swallow their fears and tackle the mystery afloat? Or will they end up as the killer's next catch of the day? This is one fishy case that could spell their final recipe for dis-Astor ... Like Carl Hiaasen? Janet Evanovich? Christopher Moore? You'll probably love Freaky Florida Investigations, too! The weirdness of The X-Files and the unwashed insanity of My Name is Earl collide to form this deliciously snarky, totally abnormal mystery series. New from the author of the best-selling Val Fremden Mystery Series! What Readers are Saying about the Series: "Hilarious, weird and entertaining!""This series cracks me up!" Amazon Review"I have read Tim Dorsey, Carl Hiaasen, and Randy Wayne White. Those writers are funny but they need to watch out for you." J. Heinrich"I've heard the expression "I laughed so hard I cried" but I never experienced it until I read this book." Amazon Review"I read a lot, and Kindle suggested this book. (it's) laugh out loud funny. Is everyone in Florida crazy?" Facebook Review"Not a scary or over the top paranormal book. I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning reading it. It was just that good! I'm a real scaredy-cat, just not into reading about things that go bump in the night. It is filled with quirky characters, mystery and a lot of humor. So if you want to be truly entertained, READ THIS BOOK." Amazon Review"Plenty of mysteries and slap stick humor with a backwoods redneck cousin thrown in the mix. I almost felt like I was reading a cross between Terry Pratchett and Piers Anthony." Amazon Review"Full of wacky characters, amazing descriptions, and lots of theories of the unknown, this book makes for a funny mystery." Amazon Review"Rampant with humorous banter and fun interpersonal relationships over a solidly bizarre mystery and great characterization." Amazon Review"This is a rollicking ride from the very beginning with laugh-out-loud prose, rednecks, weirdos and Tootsie Pops...oh my!" Amazon Review
Your Sinister Neighbors
This is a 46 page collection of humor comics by Texas based cartoonist, Bryan Kelly. Bryan's comics have been described as both drawn and written. Any jokes, comics, and opinions expressed by the cartoonist in this collection are solely that of the cartoonist and do not reflect the views, opinions, policies, or position of the State of Texas, the Federal Government of the United States, Polyhorse design consulting, the University of Southern Illinois, or the NTTV Broadcasting network or any of its subsidiaries.Thank you.
She
""She: coz we all love dreaming"" is a beautiful and piece of literature. This is an ambitious, young yet humorous novel wrapped around a dream that is crazy enough to just think of. ""But noone can see him without eyes like me"" says Ritz. The story is around an eighteen year old girl and an ninteen year old boy with a bunch of friends. They all go on a trip to Southern part of India, have some fun and adventure with nature, make new bound while flourishing old ones. The girl has a Indian girl gang, who are throughout on a duty of shooting laughter bullets, else the ploting is enough to make you feel thrilled. This is not a dramatic love story, rather its a plot of many stories put together to add thrill, love and laughs in your souls and at last a hangover.
The Context of My Life
The Context of My Life is a comedic love story frozen in time by a scantily supported, overreaching judicial gag order. Thirty-five years later, John Davis is free to narrate a tale about a boy who meets a girl and falls in love. John is a likeable, well-meaning, straight-arrow college student with a tendency to self-destruct for reasons that he readily identifies as his shortcomings. His shortcomings are; a lack of patience, sarcastic wit, poor organizational skills, and the knack for saying the wrong thing for incredibly obscure reasons. He has a strong desire to stay simple and focused in order to excel in the important areas of his life. The timetable for John's emotional growth and maturity shifts into overdrive upon leaving the relative safety of his upstate New York home. With his entry into the brave new world of college life, he is faced with the complexities of navigating communal living, befriending a gay roommate, and grasping the depths of evil personified. The bulk of the evidence will lead to the verdict that John handles each challenge and not only survives but thrives on his often potholed journey to adulthood. John's simple observation that "you can't tell the impact you are having on others until you take a good look at yourself" is a harbinger of the growth and understanding that is stirring and will eventually reveal itself.
Belle Nash and the Bath Souffl矇
Welcome to The Gay Street Chronicles!When Mrs Gaia Champion hosts her first supper after the untimely death of her adored husband Hercules, the meal goes sadly awry.Enter gay hero Bellerophon "Belle" Nash: city councillor, grandson of Bath's original Master of Ceremonies Beau Nash, and bachelor extraordinaire.Assisted by a group of eccentric lady friends, Belle sets out to explore Gaia's culinary mishap, only to expose a web of corruption that goes to the heart of Regency Bath's judicial system.In doing so, he struggles to retain the commitment of his German "cousin", and Princess Victoria-not yet Queen-persuades Gaia that all women can defeat the bonds of male repression.
Hit & Mrs.
Beloved and bestselling Cape Breton author Lesley Crewe's novels are now available in bright and bold, smaller-format editions. Linda, Bette, Gemma, and Augusta are four lifelong friends who live in Montreal. This year they're all going to turn fifty, so they decide to take a trip to New York together (courtesy of Linda's philandering husband's Visa Platinum). But at the LaGuardia airport washroom, Bette accidentally switches bags with a young mother who's actually smuggling diamonds for the mob, and things start going terribly wrong. When they kill an aggressive cab driver with pepper spray, the four friends know this is not going to be the trip of shopping and Broadway shows they'd expected. A series of miscommunications and mishaps entangles the friends even further into the criminal underworld of New York. But out of all the bad luck (Linda's husband is staying at the same hotel as the friends, with his new girlfriend) and bad people (mobsters, drug addicts, and Linda's husband) emerge four fifty-year-old avengers of truth and justice. In the style of Crewe's Shoot Me, Hit and Mrs. is a wildly entertaining comedic romp.
Doing Time in California
Who in their right mind would escape from a minimum security prison with only three weeks left of their sentence to play in an annual golf tournament with his buddies?Disgraced Catholic School teacher Kimo Jones does just that, starting a journey through the California Delta with the aid of a beautiful young pianist. Mr. Jones taught his students that God works in mysterious ways, but he didn't tell them that he believes hawks could be messengers from God. What kind of mind are we dealing with?Dwight Jesmer's Doing Time in California takes you on a laugh-out-loud funny journey to redemption. It's a rock opera of a novel. Can't wait for the movie!
A Mutually Beneficial Proposal
I'm engaged to a stranger.Okay, maybe not officially, but when Owen Porter spots me floundering for words in front of my ex-fianc矇 and his new wife, I decide to go along with his little farce. The catch? He wants me to return the favor by being his date to a company mixer.I'm supposed to be on vacation-forgetting about men. Now, thanks to unforeseen events, I'm not only Owen's date, but I'm also his hotel roommate.Lines I didn't want to cross are quickly blurred, and my best friends convince me that there's nothing wrong with a vacation fling. That one might help me get over my latest relationship disaster. But as the clock counts down to my departure, I know my feelings aren't as fake as I'd like them to be. Far from it.Meeting Owen wasn't in my plans. Finding out who I am was. But maybe I can make both work... That is, if Owen can prove he isn't like my other exes: a lying cheat.A Mutually Beneficial Proposal is a laugh-out-loud and spicy romantic comedy. It's told in dual POV, and is a full-length standalone included in The Unexpected Series that can be read in any order, but best consumed consecutively.
The Necronomicrap
The Art of Astrooology"From the dawn of time, mankind has looked up at the stars and thought, "I'm hungry!" A little while later, mankind looked up at the stars and thought, "Hey, lookit those thingys up there! I wonder if I can eat them..?""Soon, after getting some supper, mankind started watching the lights in the sky, and noticed that some of the lights moved in patterns. The lights that didn't move obviously had poor agents. People that recognized the patterns of the lights got so they could predict what they were going to do next. It got to a point where the Number Two caveman in the cave told everybody, "Okay, if the gods think the Number One caveman should be replaced by me, THAT light THERE will move THAT WAY tomorrow night..." As the fires of the cave lit up the following night to celebrate the inauguration of a new Number One caveman - and the barbecuing of the former Number One caveman - the art of Astrology was born." A hilarious, light-hearted look at the world of astrology as seen by the incomparable Tim Frayser.
Knight Writer
KNIGHT WRITER, with 50 character-enriching lessons in living, is the most comprehensive and most entertaining self-help/inspirational-fiction book written to date. Both nonpolitical and nondenominational, this publicly beneficial book (rated PG-15) should be required reading in every public high school, also private high schools. KNIGHT WRITER should also be considered "must reading" for ALL people 15+ years of age, worldwide!
Curio's Christmas
Christmas is coming, and normally, all the Curio's are spread out, but this year, Roni and Will have decided to head to the Bahamas with Bradley and Ellen, Jimmy is on tour, and Edwin is unhappy with Abigail, so they are stuck at home. There is no other option, and it's decided, it is time for a full on Curio Christmas, which means, Shopping.Birch has no understanding of Christmas, because it belongs to the bell twats, and so Abby is determined to make it the best Christmas ever... Let the madness begin. Pooling their resources, they decorate the house, buy a tree and prepare to party, that is, until the press start with their attacks, and imply, someone inside the house has been sharing their secrets.As Abby fights to pull off the perfect Christmas, problem after problem occurs, building up to a final collision of chaos that leaves the whole village reeling in the aftermath of splintered loyalties. Creating a fast and exciting series of events that leave the reader gasping, Robin John Morgan raises the stakes again, in what is a brilliantly fast paced, witty, and emotional third tale of the Curio's journey through life on Waterside Lane in Wotton Dursley.
Khushkhabri?
The story is about a disease called Fetu, in which even a man can become pregnant. 'Fetu' is derived from the word Fetus. Now stop wondering and grab the book and go through this hilarious fiction. I am sure you will enjoy this story with laughter. ""Amazing book... you will laugh, you will feel the emotions of the character in funniest way it can be"" - SMEEP KANG (Film Director - ""Carry On Jatta"") ""Truly a funny and a unique tale that makes you laugh and enjoy the character"" - Dr. Kamaljit Kaur
Fore Play
"A company of spineless, scheming men try to gouge a California country club for every penny it's worth in Sheehan's seamy, steamy comedy of errors." -Kirkus Reviews"Good book, great read! Laughs, sex, golf, and good wine. What more could you want?" -Danny Jacobson, Creator and Executive Producer of NBC-TV's Mad About YouFasten your seatbelts for a rollicking ride with more twists and turns than a bowl of pretzels.L.A.'s historic Bellstone Country Club is famous for its star-studded membership, championship golf course, and glamorous parties. Here, sexy golfer Mandy Manville is expected to win the club's Women's Golf Championship, which will qualify her to tee it up with legendary golfers in Scotland's Cialis Open. But when ex-college star golfer Jody Benson joins the club, Mandy's beautifully manicured nails become claws as she stops at nothing to keep the newcomer from entering the tournament. Meanwhile, the Bellstone president's bet on an upcoming heavyweight fight could cause an already struggling club to go bust. Add in a corrupt priest with a free membership, a down-and-out ex-movie star working as a caddy, an LAPD cop on the take, a pregnant stripper on the hunt for her baby's daddy, and you'll find yourself laughing, hooting, booing, cheering, and maybe even taking up golf!
The Water of the Wondrous Isles
Notion Press proudly brings to you timeless classics from ancient texts to popular modern classics. This carefully chosen collection of books is a celebration of literature, our tribute to the pioneers, the legends and the giants of the literary world. Apart from being the voice of indie writers, we also want to introduce every reader to read all kinds of literature. In this series, you will find a wide range of books-from popular classics like the works of Shakespeare and Charlotte Bront禱 to rare gems by the likes of Edith Wharton and James Fenimore Cooper.
Sci-Fi Lampoon Autumn 2022
The Autumn 2022 edition of the Sci-Fi Lampoon, a quarterly publication of humorous stories in the science fiction and adjacent genres. Featuring work from Margret Treiber, Rachel Cordasco, Kieran Ryan, Steve Delmonte, J.W. Allen, Wendra Chambers, Randall Andrews, Bill Thomas, Ginger Strivelli, Art Lasky, Andrea Chase, Georgina Jeffery, E. Kimball, Mick Benderoth, Judson Michael Agla, Arasibo Campeche, Michael H. Hanson, E.E. King, Ian K., Christopher A. Micklos, Bill McCormick, Daniel Galef, and Jennifer McGuire TL;DR: a collection of funny sci-fi stories.
Fan Fiction
Brent Spiner's explosive and hilarious novel is a personal look at the slightly askew relationship between a celebrity and his fans. If the Coen Brothers were to make a Star Trek movie, involving the complexity of fan obsession and sci-fi, this noir comedy might just be the one. Set in 1991, just as Star Trek: The Next Generation has rocketed the cast to global fame, the young and impressionable actor Brent Spiner receives a mysterious package and a series of disturbing letters, that take him on a terrifying and bizarre journey that enlists Paramount Security, the LAPD, and even the FBI in putting a stop to the danger that has his life and career hanging in the balance. Featuring a cast of characters from Patrick Stewart to LeVar Burton to Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, to some completely imagined, this is the fictional autobiography that takes readers into the life of Brent Spiner, and tells an amazing tale about the trappings of celebrity and the fear he has carried with him his entire life. Fan Fiction is a zany love letter to a world in which we all participate, the phenomenon of "Fandom."
How to Outsmart Your Cat
Legions of American cat owners will welcome this manual, the first ever to speak out frankly on a difficult subject that one's sense of embarrassment usually consigns to some small dark closet of the mind where one's mistakes are concealed.In this case, the mistake is having fallen in love with a kitten for its cuteness, playfulness, and affection that seem to promise years of pleasure and amusement. Only a reluctance to admit that one was wrong, that one was taken in by a wily lower animal, deters many people from eventually admitting the truth and giving the creature to the first urchin who happens by, counting on him to lie to his parents and say, "The cat followed me home."For the cat is an unusually gifted creature who instinctively knows that its owner, like an unhappy spouse, may endure a long and unfulfilling marriage rather than concede that he or she made a lousy choice in the first place.Correcting this problem and saving the relationship is the purpose of this program, which requires only determination on the part of the cat's owner.It will require a bit more on the part of the cat.
Walkers
Essie Cobb, senior sleuth, and her three gal pals Opal, Marjorie, and Fay are playing cards (and causing trouble) in the all-purpose room at the Happy Haven Retirement Home. Not even having to use walkers to get around will stop these ladies from getting into trouble! A one-act play based on the Essie Cobb Senior Sleuth mysteries by Patricia Rockwell. This play may be produced by amateur groups without a royalty payment.
Interdimensional Travel While Impaired
Every major decision creates a new world for every possible outcome. Sarah, a comic shop employee, discovers that she has never made a decision major enough to create a world of its own. With her best friend, an interdimensional traveler, and a strange government agent, Sarah sets out to change the world she lives in. After discovering that the Illuminati are removing decisions from the citizens of earth, they uncover a much larger plot to eliminate all of the other worlds and reset reality.Just reading this blurb has caused a world to be spawned where you purchased this book. Do you want your alternative self to have all the joy of reading it?
By The Sea
A modern comic adult fairy tale with an ensemble cast of Cinderellas.Instead of a kingdom by the sea, our story takes place in and around a residential hotel by the sea. The architecturally eclectic Briers Hotel is situated on Leech Beach, a not particularly inviting beach, being often fog-bound and always scruffy. But it's the perfect setting for our Cinderellas, male and female, who put up with the scruffiness of life while striving to make it through their various personal seaside fogs. Theater; art; antiques; old movies; sex; more sex; death; fast and slow cars, chicken shit and cow poop; military bearing and erotic emissions-not to mention the wicked witch, the sea serpent by the seashore, the village ogre, the village idiot, and several Prince Charmings-all figure into this merry tale with a multitude of happy endings. ADVANCE PRAISE"Steven Paul Leiva has written an engaging, thoughtful, and kind book. In this era of unlikeable characters and the idea that a "good" book is one in which horrible things happen to horrible people, Leiva has turned that entirely on its head. Even when people act badly, he has told their story with sympathy and grace, with complete kindness for even the most outwardly difficult characters. By the Sea is long, but it's not fat. It's all muscle. And what a satisfying book it is! Leiva has built his small world perfectly, and each character is so complete and well thought out that what at first seems disparate pieces fit together perfectly by the end. It's a hat trick in perfect proportions!"-Jo Graham, author of Black Ships, Hand of Isis, and Stealing Fire.
Float My Boat
This book an anthology of anecdotes compiled by the author and is surely a reader's delight. Each episode is abundantly peppered with great wit, an eye for the smallest of details and a keen perception of events as they played out, all strung together in great prose. The author has woven a beautiful tapestry of people and events, bringing out human triumphs and failings in a most endearing manner. Commodore Ramesh Reddy.
Irv's Odyssey
Food service and Irving Podolsky are NOT friends. Still, Irv rises to the level of waiter in the Fairmont Hotel. What about his budding film career, making the world a better place and finding a nice Jewish chick? Well, instead, Irv meets an exotic older girl from Germany. Could she be the one, Irv's forever, but not-Jewish-at-all soul mate? Ben suggests she is. Ben is a drawling spirit voice channeled through a Puerto Rican pothead. And Ben knows all about Irv's recent nocturnal fly-outs: those uncontrollable out-of-body trips that bring him to the Other Side where he encounters creepy crawlers in attack mode and goes back and forth in time and into his own future. These bizarre events are not dreams or fantasies. They are real. For as Irv finds out, magic and miracles do exist. And so does true love, if he can just convince his parents, it's okay to marry a shiksa. Irving Podolskyresides in the mind of this writer and within the trilogy, Irv's Odyssey. As your storyteller, I'd like to share the adventure with your younger YOU, that which seeks fun, romance and a wild ride into the Unknown. "I have just finished your third book and I am crying. So moving, so good. I have been living in this story since I started it, and right now, I want to be quiet and just enjoy what I have been given."- Leslie Talbott, Ph.D.-- Educator, Psychologist and Academic Author
Irv's Odyssey
Irv's still employed at the mental hospital, a place where all the people who don't "fit in" get jobs behind locked doors. It's a crazy circus and Irv's life is far from settling down. A free-loading porn stud and con man moves into our lad's apartment, and the jerk won't leave! It gets worse. Irv discovers the place where humanity hides it's most shameful secret. And it's not in the Buckhead Steak 'n Brew where Irv becomes a salad boy/dishwasher. And it's not at the Cloisters Restaurant where Irv get pushed into bussing tables while tripping on acid. And it's not in Europe where he meets three people who change his life in ways he only read about in Sc-Fi novels and mystical books. Actually that "shameful secret" is no secret at all, yet only Irv wants to know it. Will our friend ever find his way back to Normal? Not yet. Irving Podolsky resides in the mind of this writer and within the trilogy, Irv's Odyssey. As your storyteller, I'd like to share the adventure with your younger YOU, that which seeks fun, romance and a wild ride into the Unknown. "It's forceful, funny, and has the ring of truth. I looked forward to getting back to it each night, and that's a great sign that the book is ALIVE." - Daniel Asa Rose - NEA Literary Fellow, Book Reviewer, Travel Columnist and Author of his latest book, the acclaimed memoir Larry's Kidney
Irv's Odyssey
Irving Podolsky is a nice Jewish boy looking for a nice Jewish girl and a job out of college which would, Irv hopes, make the world a better place. But when our hero's food supply dwindles down to a slab of Velveeta and a jar of pickles, our lad takes his only job offer: directing pornographic movies. This leads to a night shift gig in a mental hospital, only to have that be replaced by the lowest rung in food service, which drives Irv so bonkers his mind ejects out of his body to the Other Side. Irv's Odyssey is a humorous quest for love, truth and the meaning of life while lost in alternate life styles, a psychedelic drug culture and the free-love of the seventies. Lost in a Looking Glass starts the journey. Irving Podolsky resides in the mind of this writer and within the trilogy, Irv's Odyssey. As your storyteller, I'd like to share the adventure with your younger YOU, that which seeks fun, romance and a wild ride into the Unknown. "My plan was to take Lost in a Looking Glass with me so I could read it on our cruise. But I finished it before we even left. What a page turner!" Gregor Wossilus - film critic, content producer and story analyst for the Bavarian Broadcasting Network
Tangerine Seventeen
London, 1966: A different world. A world where style kills, and a country's security rests in the hands of perhaps the most unlikely people imaginable. Leslie Howarth: Spy, fashionista and first-class coward. Any more self-centred, and he'd start to rotate around his own axis. When top-secret plans are stolen, it's up to this most unlikely of James Bond-wannabes to save the day. And save the girl, of course... Apart from making it big in the fashion world and not having to return to sleepy Devon, Dinah Johnson doesn't know what she wants. What she most certainly doesn't want is to be chased halfway over London, shot at, tied up and left to the mercy of a bunch of maniacs, all for the sake of a bunch of papers a dying man thrust into her unwilling hands. With the help of the two most incompetent spies in British history, can they prevent these papers falling into enemy hands? And can Leslie learn there's more to life than just dressing for the part?
Childproof
When all their friends start young families and their dinner-party lifestyle is ruined, a wealthy couple hires an assassin to kill all the children and restore the adults-only decadence that completes them. Will and Rose were happy once. Long ago, when they partied with their special clique of friends on the mezzanine of their multi-million-dollar mansion. If you were gawking over their electrified gate after midnight, you'd see their dancing, champagne-flute-holding silhouettes through silk curtains. Oh, the privilege. There were four couples in all, and they gathered every Friday night for six-to-seven hours of shameless hedonism. It was their end-of-week ode to self-indulgence and Will and Rose never thought it would end. But then it did, beginning with four terrifying words, uttered flippantly before the main course on a stormy November evening: "We're having a baby." NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN OR PEOPLE WHO LIKE CHILDREN
Grand Theft Retro (Large Print Edition)
Samantha Kidd is all about leaving the past behind. But sometimes the past won't let you go...​​With her thirty-mumble-birthday on the horizon, amateur sleuth and fashion expert Samantha Kidd is determined to get her life under control. Her steady job at Retrofit Magazine comes with a paycheck, medical benefits, a 401K, and an assignment to dive into seventies style. She's prepared to report on patchwork velvet and platform shoes, but she never expected to uncover the theft of a major collection of samples from the days before disco died.When the guilty party threatens Samantha's family and friends, her priorities shift into protection mode. The investigation heats up faster than fondue over sterno, and all too soon Samantha learns that while the beat goes on, there's no guarantee she'll go on with it.Can Samantha catch a criminal who's been living in plain sight, or will her fresh start turn into a dead end? Grand Theft Retro is the fifth hilarious caper in the Samantha Kidd mystery series. If you like witty protagonists, clever dialogue, and fashion-forward drama, then you'll love Diane Vallere's chic mysteries.
Pearls Gone Wild (Large Print Edition)
Nacre Bleu!​Amateur sleuth Samantha Kidd's life is finally on track. It's her normally cultured friend Cat whose life has lost its luster: eight months pregnant and abandoned by her husband the week before Christmas. She ropes Samantha into helping at her boutique, but a string of jewelry thefts threatens her business. And when Cat's husband is found strangled with pearls inside the shop, the last thing she's concerned with is profit.Samantha tries to get a bead on the killer, but when the suspects all clam up, she's left tangled in knots. Add in an unexpected proposal, a flirtatious friend, and a brand new detective, and this is bound to be Samantha's wildest adventure yet.Pearls Gone Wild is the sixth rom com novel in the Samantha Kidd mystery series. If you like witty protagonists, clever dialogue, and fashion-forward drama, then you'll love Diane Vallere's chic mysteries.
You Can't Teach an Old Dad New Jokes
If you've ever wanted to master the art of the dad joke (or as I like to call them, Mr. Harold jokes), then this volume is for you. This collection represents a lifetime of collecting, honing, improving, revising, improvising, and then retelling some of the worst groaners you could imagine! Embarrass your son at his next birthday party! Make your daughter cringe in the car when you chaperone a date! Make your wife blush at the next cocktail party! Basically, learn the art of being a dad!
Bibliopaths and Phobologues
A bibliopath is an author who believes his books are being mutilated because they're so popular, or a reader who believes the author is stuffing his books full of coded messages especially for her. A phobologue is somebody who watches over the simple use of language, so we don't have to follow the rules and can use language any way we like. This book, however, is populated by a range of other characters, including the woman who went through her friends on Facebook until only one contact was left, a company that offers every kind of omelet imaginable, a government employee who follows the thread of a customer's red jersey dress until he reaches the customer's apartment, a translator who becomes so obsessed with the deceased writer she is translating she tries to copy her in absolutely everything, the "note killer" who murders using punctuation as a weapon, the librarian who goes through returned books looking for mislaid items, a woman who hears literary voices inside a plexiglass ball, the occupant of a house who is driven to leave because books have taken over, an old woman who goes to confess all the men she's been mixing with, a couple whose portrait seems to grow old the way they do... Welcome to the Universe according to Emma Pedreira, one of the most exciting contemporary authors writing in the Galician language today. Emma Pedreira is the recipient of important Galician literary awards, such as the Xerais for novels and the Jules Verne for young people's literature, which she won with her novel Invisible Bodies, published by Small Stations Press in Jonathan Dunne's translation. Kathleen March is Professor Emerita at the University of Maine. Other authors she has translated for Small Stations Press include Anxo Angueira, Marica Campo, ?lvaro Cunqueiro, Miguel Anxo Fern獺ndez, and Susana Sanches Arins.
