Congratulations on Your Martyrdom!
Searing, troubling, and funny, these revolutionary, linked stories flit and dart among the shadows of small town life, and the touching and heartbreaking characters that occupy it. Employees use roadkill instead of faux pelts during a build-a-critter battle for mall supremacy. Former band geeks are harassed with mutilated musical instruments and then murdered. The collection is haunted by allusions to a fatal cannonball jump that crescendos in the explosive final story. An extraordinary addition to the canon of gonzo fiction, Congratulations on Your Martyrdom! introduces Zachary Tyler Vickers as an exciting new author whose unflinching prose grabs you and won't let go.
Holy Cow
A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist: a four-legged heroine you won't soon forget. Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that--her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God--and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie's understanding of her world to its core. There's only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry--excuse me, Shalom--a cranky, Torah-reading pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can't fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport. Elsie is our wisecracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom--who does eventually learn to fly (sort of)--dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. In Holy Cow, David Duchovny's charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.
Start With the Backbeat
When post-punk rocker Jill Dodge finally gets the promotion she's been waiting for in the spring of 1989, she finds herself in the middle of a race to find a gritty urban rapper for her New York record label.
The Marianated Nottingham and Other Abuses of the Language
THE MARIANATED NOTTINGHAM . . . because it's about time someone told the truth about Robin Hood. I mean, think about it. Here's this poor sheriff trying to start the world's first national park to protect the declining deer population, and redneck Robin Hood hunts. And don't even get me started on Richard. First he's in France killing his father to take the throne, then he's gallivanting off on crusades, then getting kidnapped by Germans, then back to France again. No wonder the English thought he was a good king. He was never around. (Hey, I warned you not to get me started.) That one's a screenplay. Then tack on a wild collection of skits, short stories, and deranged doggerels (ballads -- poetry for people who hate "real" poetry). A little fantasy, a dash of sci-fi, and most all of it quite off-the-wall.
Totlandia - Book 5 (The Twosies, Fall)
IN BOOK 5 OF THE TOTLANDIA SERIES: When Bettina Cross is faced with having to share the leadership of her beloved Pacific Heights Moms and Tots Club with her sister-in-law, Lorna Connaught, she plays dirty--only to discover that her actions have aligned her two true enemies: Kimberley Savitch, and Kelly Overton. Bettina's problems are compounded when Daniel Warwick, a Department of Justice prosecutor, wants to use her as bait to trap her soon-to-be ex, Art, into coming home and answering to long list of fraud charges. The fact that Art has scammed most of San Francisco's wealthiest families has Bettina fighting desperately to preserve her most priceless possession: her social standing. When Brady lines up venture capital funding for Life of Pie, Ally must tamp down his gung-ho power ranger tendencies, while at the same time shore up Jillian's insecurities that her pies won't live up to Brady's promises. And now that the once homeless Reggie is teaching the complete works of Shakespeare to UC Berkeley undergrads, Jade struggles with her fear that she's competing for his affections with his younger, more beautiful students. Finally, an unexpected tragedy puts Jillian in the middle of her ex's life again--with consequences that will affect her future and those of her twins--forever. The leaves are falling, and there's a bitter chill in the air--but Mother Nature has nothing to do with it. Blame it on human nature--in this case, Pacific Heights parents behaving badly.
Totlandia - Book 3 (The Onesies, Spring)
IN BOOK 3 OF THE TOTLANDIA SERIES: Spring comes in like a lamb as the exclusive Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club welcomes its newest members. But that tranquility belies a storm brewing, as new tensions and old rivalries come to a head. The surviving moms are ready to reap the rewards of membership, but none of them counted on club founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, needing a pick-me-up from a bitter betrayal. While lesser women might cry into their pillows, Bettina finds comfort in exerting control over her domain. With Bettina on a rampage, the new Onesies are trying to stay out of sight long enough to deal with their own issues: Lorna wants to tell her family about Dante's autism, but keeping it on her own terms could be difficult when her hippie mom and socialite mother-in-law meet for the first time. Jillian fights to regain her financial footing and confront her personal insecurities, finding comfort in an unexpected place. And Ally can't bear the thought of hurting Jade, so she continues to bury her feelings for Brady. But when another desperate housewife stirs the mix, Jade could become a pawn in an even more devious game. It's no ordinary spring in Totlandia, as emotions build to a fury and end with a roar.
Totlandia - Book 4 (The Onesies, Summer)
In Book 4 of the Totlandia series: As summer sizzles in Totlandia, emotions boil over for the newest members of Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, whose trust in each other is sorely tempted by Bettina and her club politics. When Jillian's vindictive joke backfires, she learns the true meaning of forgiveness. Jade's betrayal puts her in a dangerous downward spiral with no bottom in sight--until she finds friendship and redemption where she least expects it. Lorna faces the biggest trial in her marriage, and makes an important decision that may end it for good. While Ally may regret the choices made she to get accepted in the club, her exile puts new opportunities in her path, thanks to Brady and his ceaseless desire to win her over--with Barry's help, who is playing his own little game with the Top Moms Committee. But it's Bettina who suffers the ultimate punishment--one that changes her life, and the livelihood of the club, forever. Friendship. Lies. Seduction. Betrayal. Welcome to Totlandia.
Sexy Beast
Burdened with a face only a mother could love, Stan Cattermole is determined to find a woman. Lugging his man-boobs along for the ride, Stan shows Bridget Jones how it's done in this hilarious, heart-wrenching and often outrageous account of his quest for love. This is no misery memoir, but a tell-it-like-it-is account of an ugly man's trials, tribulations and small triumphs, in and out of the bedroom. One part love story, one part family saga, eight parts outrageous, laugh-out-loud tragicomedy - and then, just for luck, another part love story, this tale wrenches at the heart strings and the funny bone, and will drag you screaming with laughter through the whole gamut of human emotions. CHORTLE! as Stan pops his cyber-cherry with the aid of a light sabre, a bowling ball and a large knob of butter. GASP! as Stan is blindfolded, tied to a bed and abused with an IKEA spatula. DESPAIR! as the pretty nose of yet another potential love interest wrinkles in utter, utter disgust. The story of one man overcoming his hurdles and making something wonderful of a miserable life, this ever-hopeful tale will resonate with anyone who's suffered pain and rejection, anyone who's vowed to transform their life and anyone who's ever learned to laugh in the face of adversity. http: //betedejour.blogspot.com/
The Whopper
Faith, Hope, and Charity grow up in Melbourne, Australia, engaging in what at first seems to be normal sibling rivalry. Charity becomes a master at telling lies-or whoppers-and her mother sees her as the most responsible one. When Charity grows up, she realizes that her parents are aging and could die at any time, so she starts plotting a way to get at their money so she can upgrade her lifestyle. Hope is also desperate for money, and she teams up with her sister to try to get a share of the loot. Together, they try to make Faith look like an uncouth, working-class woman who doesn't deserve anything. But Faith is smarter than her sisters give her credit for, and as Hope and Charity seek to outdo each other, she waits for their clever lies to come undone. Only time will tell who'll enjoy the spoils as Faith, Hope, and Charity (the three Christian virtues) spin their yarns in The Whopper.
What If Chairman Mao Woke Up Today?
Just for a moment, consider: What If Chairman Mao Woke Up Today? Proud of being Chinese, author Lei Shi finds it interesting to revisit China now that she lives overseas, and wonders if Mao would feel the same. What would he think of modern China? Her cleverly humorous novel follows an American businessman and his wife visiting China for a month. Chairman Mao "wakes up" and wishes to go undercover with the couple to discover how China has changed in the nearly forty years since his passing in 1976. Science preserved Chairman Mao, and he discovers a newly powerful and fruitful China that has superseded his dream for the country. The fear that a rich Chinese people would overturn his agenda proved not to be the case. After Chairman Mao meets dozens of women under the influence of Western and modern culture, he falls in love. Formerly a physician and a real estate agent, Lei Shi currently lives in New Zealand. Publisher's website: http: //sbprabooks.com/LeiShi
Jokes 101
Jokes 101 is a new and different view of the best jokes and interesting observations on 107 separate topics from accountants to zombies. If you are looking for funny, clean jokes on a specific topic, just select the jokes that best suit your purpose. If you are required to say a few words or give a speech, a well-chosen joke or observation will put your audience in a more receptive mood and make your appearance unforgettable and unique. If you're talking to a group of barbers, try, "I received an expensive comb as a gift. I thanked my girlfriend and said, 'I'll never part with it.'" When speaking to a group of doctors, what can you say? Knowing the current zombie craze, try, "When he told the ladies that he was Doctor Jekyll, they all wanted to Hyde." When speaking about family, try, "Here's a statement that breaks a mother's heart: 'Mommy, I missed the school bus.'" If singing is a topic, try, "My daughter sang a duet with our dog; it was a howling success." That's enough punishment for now. Will you be a hit, the proverbial life of the party, based on your singularly entertaining and informative discussions or speeches using the jokes or observations stolen from this, in all modesty, semibombastic, fantastic material in Jokes 101? PS: I don't know anyone who can do me a bit of good, so no important person has endorsed this book; you'll just have to think positive.
Jokes 101
Jokes 101 is a new and different view of the best jokes and interesting observations on 107 separate topics from accountants to zombies. If you are looking for funny, clean jokes on a specific topic, just select the jokes that best suit your purpose. If you are required to say a few words or give a speech, a well-chosen joke or observation will put your audience in a more receptive mood and make your appearance unforgettable and unique. If you're talking to a group of barbers, try, "I received an expensive comb as a gift. I thanked my girlfriend and said, 'I'll never part with it.'" When speaking to a group of doctors, what can you say? Knowing the current zombie craze, try, "When he told the ladies that he was Doctor Jekyll, they all wanted to Hyde." When speaking about family, try, "Here's a statement that breaks a mother's heart: 'Mommy, I missed the school bus.'" If singing is a topic, try, "My daughter sang a duet with our dog; it was a howling success." That's enough punishment for now. Will you be a hit, the proverbial life of the party, based on your singularly entertaining and informative discussions or speeches using the jokes or observations stolen from this, in all modesty, semibombastic, fantastic material in Jokes 101? PS: I don't know anyone who can do me a bit of good, so no important person has endorsed this book; you'll just have to think positive.
The Complete Adventures of Gonad Man
The complete and unedited original series of the cult Australian surf comic, The Adventures of Gonad Man. Described by Matt Warshaw in The Encyclopedia of Surfing (2003) as a "biting and intelligent surfing cartoon strip...," Gonad Man flipped the bird at the corporatisation of '90s surf culture and gave surfers a chance to laugh at themselves. With a foreword by Dave Parmenter, this must-have edition runs to over a hundred and thirty pages. It features all published episodes, from 1993-99, including the original, infamous 'Meaning of Life' poster, plus a bonus short story, The Tao of Surfing.
The Snoodle Contract
President Gus Snoodle has obviously rubbed someone the wrong way. Despite the fact that there have been no escalating wars, no sizzling scandals, and no bad reviews of his performance on Dancing with the Stars, his poll numbers are plunging, there is a contract out on him, and his conspirators will stop at nothing to bring him down. No one is prepared for the intervention of visiting Aussie dynamo Paddy Pest: probably the greatest sleuth to have been denied recognition in his own country or any other. With help from the CIA, the Secret Service, and several beautiful women, Paddy attempts to find a motive for the conspiracy. From a high rollers room in Las Vegas to a Texas airfield, Paddy and his delightful wing person, Saffron Splendido, must ingratiate themselves with the president to avoid a catastrophe. A budding romance only complicates matters as White House deputy chief of staff, Jack Rice, takes a shine to Saffron, leaving everyone to contemplate whether she will become Mrs. Saffron Rice. With more questions than answers, the presidential caravan rolls from Massachusetts to Memphis in search of votes, while a killer quietly waits to strike. In this humorous political tale, an American president, who is the victim of a diabolical conspiracy, must rely on the talents of a fearless Aussie detective to save his lifeand hopefully his presidency.
The Snoodle Contract
President Gus Snoodle has obviously rubbed someone the wrong way. Despite the fact that there have been no escalating wars, no sizzling scandals, and no bad reviews of his performance on Dancing with the Stars, his poll numbers are plunging, there is a contract out on him, and his conspirators will stop at nothing to bring him down. No one is prepared for the intervention of visiting Aussie dynamo Paddy Pest: probably the greatest sleuth to have been denied recognition in his own country or any other. With help from the CIA, the Secret Service, and several beautiful women, Paddy attempts to find a motive for the conspiracy. From a high rollers room in Las Vegas to a Texas airfield, Paddy and his delightful wing person, Saffron Splendido, must ingratiate themselves with the president to avoid a catastrophe. A budding romance only complicates matters as White House deputy chief of staff, Jack Rice, takes a shine to Saffron, leaving everyone to contemplate whether she will become Mrs. Saffron Rice. With more questions than answers, the presidential caravan rolls from Massachusetts to Memphis in search of votes, while a killer quietly waits to strike. In this humorous political tale, an American president, who is the victim of a diabolical conspiracy, must rely on the talents of a fearless Aussie detective to save his lifeand hopefully his presidency.
Nobody's Laughing
The author takes us on a raucous journey into the life and mind of Richard Bonhom. He is a post modern portrait of success despite his failed marriage, delinquent drug addicted daughter and looming financial scandal at work. The story takes place in a one week period preceding Bonhom's fiftieth birthday. A growing discomfort at facing this turning point in his life, and the urgent need to make things right, are the driving forces motivating his desperate search for some form of salvation. These issues force him to dig deep, hold on, and take stock. This serious, but often hilarious, search for meaning and purpose to Richard's world takes the reader along an almost satirical path filled with interesting and often outrageous characters. The setting is Vancouver, Canada. The time is now. When we look out at the world around us, and within us, through the eyes of Richard Bonhom, we inevitably see ourselves, and more importantly, what truly matters in our lives.
The Broadbelters
Bonnie Ehrlich was tired of Dior suits and diamond necklaces and being told by her press agent, "You're just not newsworthy." She had made headlines once before when she sued world famous filmmaker Hercules Fokis for running her over in a drive-in brothel. And she would, at any cost, make headlines again. She would, at any cost, make headlines again. She would write a book. "I'll write about the broads I used to know in Hollywood," she explained to her husband Manny. "No good," he said. "Polly Adler done that bit years ago." "Not those broads, stupid. I mean actresses I knew when they were starting out. The ones who made it big. Of it's dirty enough it can't miss." The Broadbelters is the story of what happened when Bonnie Ehrlich signed a contract with Dave Shmeer, publisher of bestsellers, and made use of his formula: Chapter = 2 Bedroom Scenes + Narrative. It's a very funny story. In fact The Broadbelters is probably the funniest book since Candy, or Candide, or Candle in the Night, or Valley of the Dolls, or Up the Down Staircase, or Jean Christophe, or Auntie Mame.
The Bette Davis Club
The morning of her niece's wedding, Margo Just drinks a double martini and contemplates the many mistakes she's made in her fifty-odd years of life. Spending three decades in love with a wonderful but unattainable man is pretty high up on her list of missteps, as is a long line of unsuccessful love affairs accompanied by a seemingly endless supply of delicious cocktails.When the young bride flees--taking with her a family heirloom and leaving behind six hundred bewildered guests--her mother offers Margo fifty grand to retrieve her spoiled brat of a daughter and the invaluable property she stole. So, together with the bride's jilted and justifiably crabby fianc矇, Margo sets out in a borrowed 1955 red MG on a cross-country chase. Along the way, none of what she discovers will be quite what she expected. But it might be exactly what she's been seeking all along.From acclaimed humor writer Jane Lotter comes this madcap, laugh-out-loud adventure, The Bette Davis Club.Revised edition: This edition of The Bette Davis Club includes editorial revisions.
Sanchez
A Christmas novella featuring characters from the Bourbon Kid series. It's Christmas Eve in Santa Mondega and all is quiet...... apart from the ghost of the Mystic Lady. Sanchez is awoken in the middle of the night by the annoying fortune teller who warns him that he will be visited by three spirits, and that he must listen to them or terrible things 'might' happen. Join Sanchez, Flake, Tiny Tim, a bunch of terrorists and the ghosts of characters from previous books in the series in this crazy, violent and often ridiculous version of the classic Charles Dickens tale.
Queen Lucia & Miss Mapp
E. F. Benson's beloved Mapp and Lucia novels are sparkling, classic comedies of manners set against the petty snobberies and competitive maneuverings of English village society in the 1920s and 1930s. Benson's series revolves around two unforgettable characters, both forceful and irrepressible women who dominate their respective villages in southern England and who will eventually end up hilariously at war with each other. Lucia is the more deadly of the two, with her pretentious tastes, treacherous charm, and lust for power. Miss Elizabeth Mapp, on the other hand, is younger and more forceful and able to terrify her opponents into submission. Benson introduces these splendid comic creations in the first two novels of the series, Queen Lucia (1920) and Miss Mapp (1922).
Love in the Third Age
Love in the Third Age is set in the beautiful present-day Willunga Basin of South Australia at a time in Bruce River's life when his youthful vitality has drained from his body, and all he is left with is the memory. An overweight, divorced, out-of-love, aged care worker, Bruce is about to turn sixty and coming face-to-face with the burning question-to do or to decline? Bruce's life is presented as a roller coaster ride of battles with a bad back, impotence, and diminishing career prospects, while at the same time telling the comic stories of his online love life and his nearest and bitterest. Some of his friends are in their third age and going through similar confronting experiences. His clients and mother are in their fourth age and having a tough time. His much younger ex-girlfriend hasn't even thought about getting older and is bent on revenge against him and won't take any prisoners. Other characters are equally challenged by aging, but flying brilliantly above the mess. At times, Bruce is torn apart as he must witness the struggles of those aging before his very eyes. He is gripped by the writing on his own wall, battered and bruised by a cunning woman scorned, yet determined to find a way through the rest of his life that will bring purpose, dignity, lasting love and some kind of inner peace. If you're approaching, experiencing, or even worn down by aging, Love in the Third Age may just turn all that around and give you many moving and funny moments to laugh at both on your own and with others.
TurboJetslams
A perfect cottage-warming gift.You ever have a neighbour whose behaviour is so mind-bogglingly inconsiderate and so suicide-inducingly annoying that you just want to ask him, in a polite Canadian way, to please stop? TurboJetslams isn't like that. Jass Richards' new novel, TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God, tells the tale of one person's pathetic and hilarious attempts to single-handedly stop the destruction of a little piece of beautiful Canadian wilderness by the increasing numbers of idiots who couldn't care less. A perfect cottage-warming gift."Extraordinarily well written with wit, wisdom, and laugh-out-loud ironic recognition, "TurboJetslams: Proof #29 of the Non-Existence of God" is a highly entertaining and a riveting read that will linger on in the mind and memory long after the little book itself has been finished and set back upon the shelf (or shoved into the hands of friends with an insistence that they drop everything else and read it!). Highly recommended for community library collections." Midwest Book Review
Reilly ?Running Full Circle
This is the third book in the trilogy on Seamus O'Reilly the cat's exploits. He can talk and still has plenty to say, despite growing older and seemingly more mature. But "mature" is a dirty word in Reilly's opinion. As far as he's concerned, he's ageless. To the adorable and yet chauvinistic Reilly, the world is a fascinating place and he is the most fascinating part of it. Reilly manages to ingratiate himself with many of the people around him, provided he leaves his claws retracted. Caught in the middle of the big pussycat's capers is Reilly's owner, who already knows that there is no one the ornery feline is more protective of than her. In this semi-fictional story, accompanied by illustrations and poetry, Reilly continues with his carefree adventures, entertaining antics, and witty repartee, initially with girlfriend Katie and later on with his new girlfriend, Chloe Arabella, and his owner.
Shark Skin Suite
Bottom feeders beware: the Sunshine State's favorite psychotic killer and lovable Floridaphile Serge Storms has found a new calling, legal eagle, and he's going to make a killing as a crusading attorney--and star as a dashing lawyer on the big screen--in this madcap escapade from the insanely funny New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey.When it comes to swimming with the sharks, there is no bigger kahuna than Serge Storms. Binging on a marathon of legal movies set in Florida, Serge finds his calling: the law. Never mind law school or that degree, Serge becomes a freelance fixer--wildcat paralegal and pilgrim to the hallowed places where legal classics of the big screen such as Body Heat, Cool Hand Luke, and Absence of Malice were filmed practically in his own backyard.One of Serge's old flames, young lawyer Brook Campanella, is also a rising star thanks to her expertise in the field of foreclosure law. Ruthless at taking down the greedy banksters kicking people out of their homes, she lands a major class-action lawsuit, and wins big. The opposition is determined to shut her down and they'll go to extreme lengths to do it.Luckily for her, Serge has been hired to do some investigative legwork on the case. There's nothing he likes better than saving a damsel in distress, especially when it means kicking a bunch of shyster butt. The mayhem comes to a hilarious head at the Key West courthouse, at the height of the island's raucous Fantasy Fest street carnival, and no one, including Serge, will ever be the same.
The Golden Age of Charli
Charlotte McAntic spent her thirties, forties, and even fifties in peace and harmony aligning her marriage, mortgage, careers, and children. As she stumbles into a new phase of life--also known as the Golden Years--Charli cannot help but wonder where the gold and her husband, Pud, are hiding.Pud is happily cruising down the retirement path that, for him, leads straight to the golf course. While Charli spends her days at home cleaning out closets and the basement, she yearns to gaze deeply into Pud's blue eyes and remember all the reasons why she fell in love with him thirty years ago. Unfortunately, the only thing Pud is eying is the next fairway. Knowing there is more to savor in retirement than silver-hair shampoos, senior discounts, and hernia surgery, Charli embarks on a quest to do whatever it takes to spend retirement in the embrace of the man she loves. But is it too late for happily ever after?In this humorous novel, a high-energy wife and her solid guy must learn to adjust to a new chapter in their lives and find their way back into each other's hearts after their retirement begins with a jolt.
The Rosie Effect
With The Rosie Project, "Graeme Simsion achieved the impossible and created an entirely new kind of romantic hero" (Jojo Moyes, New York Times bestselling author). Now Don Tillman returns in the hilarious and charming sequel to the international sensation. Get ready to fall in love all over again. Don sets about learning the protocols of becoming a father, but his unusual research style gets him into trouble with the law. Fortunately his best friend Gene is on hand to offer advice: he's left Claudia and moved in with Don and Rosie. Picking up where The Rosie Project left off, The Rosie Effect is a fun, hilarious, and poignant read. "Don Tillman helps us believe in possibility, makes us proud to be human beings, and the bonus is this: he keeps us laughing like hell" (Matthew Quick, author of The Silver Linings Playbook).
Long Live Grover Cleveland
Grover Cleveland College is dying, and the shock is too much for the college's founder and president, Cyrus Cleveland--a direct descendant of President Grover Cleveland--who begins to die in tandem with his school. In a last bid to save his beloved institution, he wills the college to his nephew Marcus Cleveland, a used car salesman in New Jersey who has never been to college, much less administered one. Marcus heads north to see what he can do to live up to his uncle's expectations and save the day. Facing the impending calamity with cheer, an incorrigibly sunny attitude, and ample naivete, he is totally unprepared for the stew of discontented faculty, internecine rivalries, and unforeseen events that threaten to upend his every effort to rescue the school from the threat of extinction.
’Nuff to Make A Cat Laugh!
Meet Casey, a cat who reads minds and solves crimes. Casey the cat is named after a famous baseball player, as his owner, John, loves sports. He is a beautiful Siamese, with sea-blue eyes and a sparkling gray coat, and he knows it. Casey is not lacking in confidence and has zero modesty-not only because he is beautiful and coordinated and excellently proportioned, but because he has a great gift. He can read minds and influence people's thoughts. This delightful book is a collection of witty stories featuring the sarcastic Casey and the man who rescued him as a kitten-a man who Casey finds interesting, funny, and (most importantly) malleable. Together Casey and John listen to the radio, watch football, travel the world and solve crimes, and their antics are surely 'Nuff to Make a Cat Laugh!
All Due to Reilly
Seamus O'Reilly can talk and he has plenty to say. To the adorable feline and notorious male chauvinist Reilly, the world is a fascinating place and he is the most fascinating part of it. Reilly manages to ingratiate himself with many of the people around him, providing he leaves his claws retracted. However Reilly, who is filled with feline attitude, is more than content to make enemies of most cats-except his demure girlfriend. Katie O'Brien, who is prone to becoming stuck on neighbours' rooftops, must rely on subtle methods to overcome Reilly's pushy ways and win him over. Caught in the middle of the big pussycat's capers is Reilly's owner who already knows there is no one the ornery feline is more protective of than her. In this semi-fictional story accompanied by illustrations and poetry, Reilly the cat continues with his carefree adventures, entertaining antics, and witty repartee with his girlfriend and his owner.
Bogus U.
When the classical scholar Phineas Ort, Bogus U.'s first choice for president, disappears, the search committee decides to recruit a hit man to keep the fractious faculty in line. Phineas has been abducted by the Robaccia gang, who aim to install their own candidate in the president's office to cash in on Bogus U.'s well-known corruption. Christy Mahon, a former member of the Robaccia gang, now on the lam for having crossed its boss, Brooklyn Benny, has landed a job at Bogus U. as a janitor. Listening through a heating vent, he overhears the search committee's deliberations and decides to interview for the job, which he ultimately lands in a funny and subversive chain of events. Laura Favoloso, who has her own ties to the mob, works at Bogus U. and provides Christy with an insider's view of its inner workings and lower depths. Under Laura's influence and tutelage, Christy reluctantly begins to transform into a new man, and tries to institute rigorous academic standards, raising the ire and exciting the violent tendencies of the student population. But the student body is not the only quarter from which Christy must guard himself from mortal harm--a hit has been ordered on Christy, and he must use his old street smarts as well as his newly acquired political savvy to survive and protect his legacy.
Freaks I've Met
Spokane, Washington, is nearly perfect for most people, but Jack Fitzpatrick is not one of them. Hours after graduation and armed with his final paycheck from his nemesis, Jack heads for Southern California. Dreams are a dime a dozen in the City of Angels. Broke, barely scraping by, and hating his life as a temp, L.A. is definitely not what Jack expected. But after reading "Best Paying Jobs of 1987" in Time magazine, he decides to go after the only one he thinks he has a shot at: institutional bond broker. Once frustrated that his dazzling lack of experience keeps getting in the way, Jack is ecstatic to land a job at Freedom Capital, a no-name firm with a hire anybody mentality. Pumped to be on his way to his first few million, Jack eagerly engages in the challenged ethics of his new employer. When a series of innocent events lands him in prison, he's sure things can't get any worse. He would be wrong.
All That’s Left
How do you tell identical twins Steven and Scotty apart? Hint: One of them is dead. Steven is the sensible twin with a sensible job, sensible clothes, sensible haircut, and sensible girlfriend. He works as a sommelier and has annoyingly good taste. Scotty is the wild one, a free spirit who travels the world, gets drunk, gets laid, then gets in trouble. They haven't spoken in three years. And now Scotty is dead. Upon hearing the news of his brother's fatal aneurism, Steven hops on a plane to Singapore to retrieve the body. He discovers that his twin had a hot local girlfriend, which isn't surprising. With Scotty, there was always a girl--usually young and pretty, but not the kind of woman to die for. Dania is another story. She's sexy, smart, sings in a cocktail bar, and notices a striking similarity between Steven and his twin: ""You look like trouble, too."" She must be right because, over the next few days, Steven finds himself shirking his staid life back home, talking to Scotty's ashes--and becoming dangerously involved with the one woman who might know the truth about his brother's death. . .
Welcome to Linden, Where Almost Everyone Is a Bubble or So Off Plumb
Coming into town from the south on Highway 12, you'll pass a monument of Christ with His arms outstretched to bless the travelers, a statue the locals call the Flying Jesus. Back in the forties, a bunch of the city council members decided it might act as a reminder to slow folks down a little, since they didn't pay much attention to the speed limit signs. Nothing much has changed in Linden in the past twenty-five years. The hooligans who terrorize senior citizens on Main Street have graduated from roller skates to roller blades, but Paulie's Theatre still changes features once every three weeks on Thursday, and most afternoons, if business is slow, you can catch Bud Newton behind the shop at work on his latest masterpiece: an eight-foot replica of Elvis made of used mufflers welded together. He'll be glad to show you some of his other creations--the Christmas tableau is particularly touching.
Welcome to Linden, Where Almost Everyone Is a Bubble or So Off Plumb
Coming into town from the south on Highway 12, you'll pass a monument of Christ with His arms outstretched to bless the travelers, a statue the locals call the Flying Jesus. Back in the forties, a bunch of the city council members decided it might act as a reminder to slow folks down a little, since they didn't pay much attention to the speed limit signs. Nothing much has changed in Linden in the past twenty-five years. The hooligans who terrorize senior citizens on Main Street have graduated from roller skates to roller blades, but Paulie's Theatre still changes features once every three weeks on Thursday, and most afternoons, if business is slow, you can catch Bud Newton behind the shop at work on his latest masterpiece: an eight-foot replica of Elvis made of used mufflers welded together. He'll be glad to show you some of his other creations--the Christmas tableau is particularly touching.
Forgive Me My Trespasses
Finalist in the 2017 Beverly Hills Book Awards In this novel, Ian Evans explores the problem of sexual harassment by those in positions of power. While the story is humorous, the issues of sexual misconduct are considered seriously. Dave Gordon, a professor of clinical psychology, has become interested in the emotional consequences of notorious political sex scandals. A former client he once treated for feelings of shame and humiliation has given him innovative ideas. This semester hes teaching a class in psychotherapy, using important principles of compassion and forgiveness. As each graduate students personal concerns and needs come to the surface, however, complaints of his own inappropriate conduct are levelled against him. Professor Gordons first response is one of anger. But over three stressful weeks he comes to realize his old attitudes are in need of re-examination. Where has he been going wrong? Have his efforts to promote gender equality been misjudged? What can he now do to decrease sexually prejudicial attitudes and harassment on campus?
The Thin Pink Line
"Hilarious and original." --PUBLISHERS WEEKLY A KIRKUS starred review. Jane Taylor is a slightly sociopathic Londoner who wants marriage and a baby in the worst way, and she's willing to go to over-the-top lengths to achieve her dream. When Jane thinks she's pregnant she tells everyone. When it turns out to be a false alarm, she assumes she'll just get pregnant, no one the wiser. But when that doesn't happen, well, of course she does what no one in her right mind would do: Jane decides to fake an entire pregnancy!
Know Your Beholder
From a Pulitzer Prize finalist comes a hilarious and heartbreaking novel about a musician climbing back from rock bottom. As winter deepens in snowbound Pollard, Illinois, thirty-something Francis Falbo is holed up in his attic apartment, recovering from a series of traumas: his mother's death, his beloved wife's desertion, and his once-ascendant rock band's irreconcilable break-up. Francis hasn't shaved in months, hasn't so much as changed out of his bathrobe-"the uniform of a Life in Default"-for nine days. Other than the agoraphobia that continues to hold him hostage, all he has left is his childhood home, whose remaining rooms he rents to a cast of eccentric tenants, including a pair of former circus performers whose daughter has gone missing. The tight-knit community has already survived a blizzard, but there is more danger in store for the citizens of Pollard before summer arrives. Francis is himself caught up in these troubles as he becomes increasingly entangled in the affairs of others, with results that are by turns disastrous, hysterical, and ultimately healing. Fusing consummate wit with the seriousness attending an adulthood gone awry, Rapp has written an uproarious and affecting novel about what we do and where we go when our lives have crumbled around us. Sharp-edged but tenderhearted, Know Your Beholder introduces us to one of the most lovably flawed characters in recent fiction, a man at last able to collect the jagged pieces of his dreams and begin anew, in both life and love. Seldom have our foibles and our efforts to persevere in spite of them been laid bare with such heart and hope.
The Serpent of Venice
New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore channels William Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe in The Serpent of Venice, a satiric Venetian gothic that brings back the Pocket of Dog Snogging, the eponymous hero of Fool, along with his sidekick, Drool, and pet monkey, Jeff.Venice, a long time ago. Three prominent Venetians await their most loathsome and foul dinner guest, the erstwhile envoy of Britain and France, and widower of the murdered Queen Cordelia: the rascal Fool Pocket.This trio of cunning plotters--the merchant, Antonio; the senator, Montressor Brabantio; and the naval officer, Iago--have lured Pocket to a dark dungeon, promising an evening of spirits and debauchery with a rare Amontillado sherry and Brabantio's beautiful daughter, Portia.But their invitation is, of course, bogus. The wine is drugged. The girl isn't even in the city limits. Desperate to rid themselves once and for all of the man who has consistently foiled their grand quest for power and wealth, they have lured him to his death. (How can such a small man, be such a huge obstacle?). But this Fool is no fool . . . and he's got more than a few tricks (and hand gestures) up his sleeve.
Twisted Sisters
A licensed psychologist who stars on the cable breakout show I Need a Push, Reagan Bishop helps participants become their best selves by urging them to overcome obstacles and change behaviors. An overachiever, Reagan is used to delivering results. Despite her overwhelming professional success, Reagan never seems to earn her family's respect. Her younger sister, Geri, is and always will be the Bishop family favorite. When a national network buys Reagan's show, the pressure for unreasonably quick results and higher ratings mounts. Desperate to make the show work and keep her family at bay, Reagan actually listens when the show's New Age healer offers an unconventional solution.... Record Nielsen ratings follow. But when Reagan decides to use her newfound power to teach everyone a lesson about sibling rivalry, she's the one who will be schooled....
Reilly
This is the first in a series about author Amber Jo Illsley's cat, Reilly, whose full name is Seamus O?Reilly. A semi-fictional, illustrated story, Reilly ? A Dreadful, Adorable Cat centers around the cat's antics and witty repartee with the author, inviting occasional interjections from the sleepy and long-suffering Katie O?Brien, Reilly's girlfriend. From Reilly's viewpoint, the world is a fascinating place, and he views himself as the most fascinating part of it. A chauvinist to the worst degree, Reilly still manages to ingratiate himself with many of the people he comes in contact with?providing he leaves his claws sheathed?but he is more than content to make enemies of most other cats, except Katie. And even she is not exempt from Reilly's bullying ways, although she does have some subtle methods of her own in getting around Reilly. Reilly is both a bully and an adorable cat, hence the name for the first in this series: ?Reilly ? A Dreadful, Adorable Cat?.
Buzz Kill
When Lund's Plastics Division hits the skids, it turns to its newly hired Chinese research and development director, Dr. Chen, who--despite his best intentions--struggles with both the English language and American corporate policies. When he's told to hire a new scientist, Chen advertises for a young Chinese male who is preferably single. (He isn't sure what religion would be best.) Chen's innocent faux pas leads to mandatory sensitivity training, an experience so brutal, even Dick Cheney would call it torture. He builds a new R&D team, featuring Dr. Miao, a Chinese transplant who favors Red Man chewing tobacco and NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon. Chen and Miao are joined by the sultry VP of finance, B'linda Mae "Trophy" Jones, whose best parts are nicknamed Bonnie and Clyde; Monique D'Estaing, a tall, black, Harley-riding Cajun lesbian; and sales director Bob Davis, a good ol' boy who specializes in strip clubs as customer entertainment. To save the day, his team pulls out all the stops--like celebrity dress-up rollerblade scavenger hunts in Miami Beach--but their antics attract unfavorable attention from corporate human resources. Can Chen's company survive his help? Written for anyone who's ever worked in a large company, suffered through sensitivity training, or wondered if Thanksgiving is an anti-turkey display of Eurocentric imperialism, Buzz Kill is an uproariously twisted tale of America's corporate culture.
Buzz Kill
When Lund's Plastics Division hits the skids, it turns to its newly hired Chinese research and development director, Dr. Chen, who--despite his best intentions--struggles with both the English language and American corporate policies. When he's told to hire a new scientist, Chen advertises for a young Chinese male who is preferably single. (He isn't sure what religion would be best.) Chen's innocent faux pas leads to mandatory sensitivity training, an experience so brutal, even Dick Cheney would call it torture. He builds a new R&D team, featuring Dr. Miao, a Chinese transplant who favors Red Man chewing tobacco and NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon. Chen and Miao are joined by the sultry VP of finance, B'linda Mae "Trophy" Jones, whose best parts are nicknamed Bonnie and Clyde; Monique D'Estaing, a tall, black, Harley-riding Cajun lesbian; and sales director Bob Davis, a good ol' boy who specializes in strip clubs as customer entertainment. To save the day, his team pulls out all the stops--like celebrity dress-up rollerblade scavenger hunts in Miami Beach--but their antics attract unfavorable attention from corporate human resources. Can Chen's company survive his help? Written for anyone who's ever worked in a large company, suffered through sensitivity training, or wondered if Thanksgiving is an anti-turkey display of Eurocentric imperialism, Buzz Kill is an uproariously twisted tale of America's corporate culture.
The Boys from Possum Grape
Set in the days of small, local banks when embarrassing entrepreneurs were the one family in town who bought a new car every year--those cars everyone else called 'gunboats--and the bad guys came with black hats, this rollicking send-up of stupid criminals who even Barnie Fife could have outwitted makes for belly-laughs while reading and memories that will bring smiles to readers' faces.
Not Quite the Classics
Where the art of improvisation meets the art of literature. "Colin Mochrie is a comedic and creative force to be reckoned with. Therefore, this book is a literary force to be reckoned with. If you are too lazy for reckoning, just read this book and everything will work out nicely." --Brad Sherwood "Colin Mochrie is devastatingly handsome, perilously smart, and smells like warm maple syrup. Step inside his hilarious and complex mind, and abandon all hope." --Aisha Tyler Based on the improv game First Line, Last Line, Colin Mochrie of Whose Line is it Anyway? fame, puts a unique spin on works of classic literature. Taking the first line and last line from classic books and poems, Colin recasts these familiar stories in his own trademark offbeat style: A verbose coyote becomes the star of A TALE OF TWO CRITTERS Ishmael is a struggling actor hunting for a good hair day in MOBY A rainy day at home becomes a zombie-killing adventure in THE CAT AND MY DAD Mighty Casey strikes out again in CASEY AT THE BARThese stories, and many more, prove that no literary masterpiece is too big, or too small, for the improvisational comedy treatment. "I adore Colin Mochrie. I think he is brilliant, so talented AND a dear sweet man. Also, he's funny as well and a good kisser!" --Florence Henderson "I love Colin. I love his voice. I love his lips. I love his eyeballs. His pecs. And the rest of him. I'm going to Paris with him soon." -- Richard Simmons
Real Santa
George Kronenfeldt is an unemployed engineer with one shot to keep his daughters belief in Santa intact. When Megan tells him the only way she will believe in Santa is if she can videotape him and then tells her fourth grade class she will prove the existence of Santa Claus by posting her video to YouTube, George realizes he must become the Real Santa. He devises a plan to land nine reindeer on his roof and go down his chimmney, hiring a broken down movie director who eventually has him funding a full scale production that bankrupts him and and threatens his marriage. When George goes to find the "Real Santa" to help him, the line between what is real and magic is crossed. Real Santa is a funny heartwarming story of parenthood gone wrong and illuminates what lengths parents will go to keep their children happy.
Real Santa
George Kronenfeldt is an unemployed engineer with one shot to keep his daughters belief in Santa intact. When Megan tells him the only way she will believe in Santa is if she can videotape him and then tells her fourth grade class she will prove the existence of Santa Claus by posting her video to YouTube, George realizes he must become the Real Santa. He devises a plan to land nine reindeer on his roof and go down his chimmney, hiring a broken down movie director who eventually has him funding a full scale production that bankrupts him and and threatens his marriage. When George goes to find the "Real Santa" to help him, the line between what is real and magic is crossed. Real Santa is a funny heartwarming story of parenthood gone wrong and illuminates what lengths parents will go to keep their children happy.
The Humans
The bestselling, award-winning author of The Midnight Library offers his funniest, most devastating dark comedy yet, a "silly, sad, suspenseful, and soulful" (Philadelphia Inquirer) novel that's "full of heart" (Entertainment Weekly). When an extra-terrestrial visitor arrives on Earth, his first impressions of the human species are less than positive. Taking the form of Professor Andrew Martin, a prominent mathematician at Cambridge University, the visitor is eager to complete the gruesome task assigned him and hurry home to his own utopian planet, where everyone is omniscient and immortal. He is disgusted by the way humans look, what they eat, their capacity for murder and war, and is equally baffled by the concepts of love and family. But as time goes on, he starts to realize there may be more to this strange species than he had thought. Disguised as Martin, he drinks wine, reads poetry, develops an ear for rock music, and a taste for peanut butter. Slowly, unexpectedly, he forges bonds with Martin's family. He begins to see hope and beauty in the humans' imperfection, and begins to question the very mission that brought him there. Praised by The New York Times as a "novelist of great seriousness and talent," author Matt Haig delivers an unlikely story about human nature and the joy found in the messiness of life on Earth. The Humans is a funny, compulsively readable tale that playfully and movingly explores the ultimate subject--ourselves.
