The Petraeus Files
WARNING: The satire you are about to read will change the way you look at our nation's leaders. FOREVER. In November 2012, General David Petraeus stepped down from his post as director of the CIA when it was exposed that he'd had an affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. The political scandal that unfolded would eventually include four-star generals, socialites, FBI agents, the Army, a stuffed Sasquatch, and the entire cast of TLC's Sister Wives. Hundreds, thousands--maybe millions--of e-mails were exchanged between these parties. Their computers have been seized by the government, and those e-mails would likely never see the light of day. . . . However, access to these confidential documents has been obtained by a most unlikely source: comedian Ted Travelstead. Through a perfect storm of dumb luck, desperation, and a favor from a friend with a working computer, Travelstead managed to secure these e-mails. He has pored over reams of pages to give you an inside look at The Petraeus Files. Prepare to be amazed by: *The coded phrases Gen. Petraeus and his mistress Paula Broadwell used to keep their rendezvous private, and the numerous nicknames they had for each other ("Peaches: I want your plums in my juicer.") *Florida socialite Jill Kelley's official titles: Vice Consul of Sweet Times, Ambassador of Lady Town, Lil' Mayor Push-N-Pull, and Undersecretary of All Things Considered, to name a few. *Gen. John Allen's previously unknown penchant for Nip/Tuck fan fiction With exclusive e-mails, chats, photographs, and illustrations, this is a book that will change the way you look at the military, our nation's leaders, and the phrase "rear admiral."
The Lady's Not for Taking
Volume Three of the Notting Hill TrilogyA comedy adventure set in 1976 centred on an elderly widow of an eminent archaeologist who instigated the discovery of some penny black stamps hidden around London.Mrs. W has been asked to host an arts programme on the BBC. In doing so, she travels around the Middle East and Europe looking for artefacts, together with her nurse, her lodger, an ex SAS man, a business manager with a criminal past and one or two other odd travelling companions, plus the camera crew.They come up against a criminal outfit that is keen to discover some of the clues she unravels, which could lead to the whereabouts of some art treasures, lost for many years.The local institutions of the Governments concerned insist that their own representatives follow, who prove to to be unaware of the lady's determination. A series of blunders occur, which put her and her companions at risk.After many adventures, the matter draws to a close, with unsuspected results.
The Irish Match
It is the year 2000, a new millenium and Ireland has been in the Eurozone for a year. By the end of May, Ireland must have a single currency, the Euro. All remaining Punts must be collected and destroyed. Meet the counterfeiters out to make millions of Euros. Meet the 2 British cops tracking their every move. Meet the 2 Irish cops tracking the mad Martha D'Arcy, a violent animal rights campaigner. Meet the team from Liverpool, 4 brilliant fishermen who hope to win 'The Irish Match'. Meet Bernadette, their landlady, who is a ticking sexual time bomb about to explode! Follow the shenanigans down to the cataclysmic finale on Loch Derg. If you don't laugh out loud, you're dead!
Memories of the Catskills
Memories of the Catskills: The Making of a Hotel, by Alvin L. Lesser, with a foreword by John Conway, Sullivan County Historian, takes the reader back to a time and place that was like no other. Families wishing to get out of the stifling heat of a New York City summer and other nearby crowded areas, found the perfect escape in "the Catskills". By sharing an insider's view of one person's life in this magical arena, Lesser lets readers experience the fun and the work that went into creating a place that people came back to year after year. Memories of the Catskills is a candid and charming memoir about the rise and fall of the "Borscht Belt". Lesser Lodge, a small hotel where the author spent the better part of his childhood, lies at the center of the heartfelt tale. Famous stars of yesteryear came to entertain in the Borscht Belt at Lesser Lodge. The Lodge survived the depression era and then flourished during the years of economic recovery and growth. Not just the story of the Lesser family, but the warmth of people who made others welcome by providing a respite which made them all family-- entertainers and guests alike.
Vampires Are from Venus, Werewolves Are from Mars
The critically acclaimed author of MANSFIELD PARK AND MUMMIES tackles a hilarious new parody topic -- supernatural relationship advice! Admit it, you've secretly dreamed of dating a sexy brooding vampire or an alpha werewolf... But what about dating zombies, mummies, angels, fairies, demons, ghosts, occasional spotted aliens with tentacles, or other random metaphysical impossibilities? Furthermore, what if those paranormal beings in turn dreamed of dating each other -- each one in search of their own supernatural soul mates? The answer lies, as usual, in the planets, and the entire solar system of planetary harmonic alignment. Take the supernatural compatibility test and discover your own soul planet. Discover what planet rules which supernatural species, and which paranormal personality combinations offer the most compatibility to each other -- and to you. And then, be matched with the supernatural soul mate of your wildest dreams! It's all in here! Plus, as a special bonus, discover the Supernatural Matchmaker's greatest advice -- the Love Secret. VAMPIRES ARE FROM VENUS, WEREWOLVES ARE FROM MARS: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love
Pogo
In November of 2011, Fantagraphics released the first volume of its much-anticipated, long-promised series reprinting in its entirety the syndicated run of Walt Kelly's classic newspaper strip, Pogo. Pogo: Through the Wild Blue Wonder immediately became the company's best-selling book of the last five years. Exactly one year later, the second volume, Pogo: Bona Fide Balderdash, will be released, featuring all the strips from 1951 and 1952. With sources found for the more elusive strips (in the past, our scheduling downfall), we're confident that these collections will become an annual affair. Even though Pogo had been in syndication for less than two years as this volume begins, Kelly's long professional experience (including seven years creating Pogo stories for comic books) had him at the peak of his powers, and this book features page after page of gorgeously drawn, hilarious vaudevillian dialogue and action among the swamp denizens, as well as Kelly's increasingly sharp-tongued political satire -- especially on display during the 1952 election season. Kelly was famous for his prolific creation of recurring characters, and by the end of this second volume, the count will already have topped over one hundred. New arrivals include Tammanany the Tiger, the voluble P.T. Bridgeport, the sinister Sarcophagus MacAbre (with his funereal speech balloons), Uncle Antler the bull moose... and Bewitched, Bothered, and Bemildred, the adorable trio of bats. The two years of daily strips in this volume have been collected before but in now long-out-of print books; and even there they were not as meticulously restored and reproduced as in this new series. Bona Fide Balderdash also reprints, literally for the first time ever in full color, the two full years of Sunday pages, also carefully restored and color-corrected, shot from the finest copies available. This second volume is once again edited and designed by the cartoonist's daughter, Carolyn Kelly, who is also handling much of the restoration work. It includes a new introduction by the legendary author, recording artist, and satirist Stan Freberg, who was not only a friend of Kelly's but the voice of Albert the Alligator in the I Go Pogo: Pogo for President movie. There will also be more extensive annotations by comic strip historian and expert R.C. Harvey, as well as additional historical information from writer Mark Evanier.
Prescription for Laughter
You don't feel well, so you call your doctor and get put on hold. The first available appointment is in three weeks. They ask about insurance. You tell them, "HMO." It is now four weeks. You quickly say, "PPO." It's back to three weeks. You plead and then yell. They say next week, angrily. You are now afraid they will mark your file and give you expired drugs made for rabid cows. You mention lawsuit. They'll squeeze you in tomorrow. You arrive fifteen minutes early, wait three hours, and see the doctor for two minutes. The prescription drug you get keeps you in the bathroom. Your insurance refuses to pay. Collectors call. You now have high blood pressure, so you call your doctor. You're put on hold. The first available appointment is in three weeks. Hassles like these are inherent in the idiocy, incompetence, and illogical nature of America's health-care system. Author Bruce Abrahams is not a doctor; instead, he's a person with so many medical conditions that his medical alert bracelet simply states, "Never mind." As a perennial patient, Abrahams shares embarrassing anecdotes and provides valuable tips in dealing with health-care difficulties for both healthy and "health-challenged" individuals. While carefully dissecting common difficulties using humor, Abrahams explores how to take charge of your health care. Prescription for Laughter offers practical advice from a patient's perspective that will keep you laughing as you successfully navigate a complicated health-care system.
Prescription for Laughter
You don't feel well, so you call your doctor and get put on hold. The first available appointment is in three weeks. They ask about insurance. You tell them, "HMO." It is now four weeks. You quickly say, "PPO." It's back to three weeks. You plead and then yell. They say next week, angrily. You are now afraid they will mark your file and give you expired drugs made for rabid cows. You mention lawsuit. They'll squeeze you in tomorrow. You arrive fifteen minutes early, wait three hours, and see the doctor for two minutes. The prescription drug you get keeps you in the bathroom. Your insurance refuses to pay. Collectors call. You now have high blood pressure, so you call your doctor. You're put on hold. The first available appointment is in three weeks. Hassles like these are inherent in the idiocy, incompetence, and illogical nature of America's health-care system. Author Bruce Abrahams is not a doctor; instead, he's a person with so many medical conditions that his medical alert bracelet simply states, "Never mind." As a perennial patient, Abrahams shares embarrassing anecdotes and provides valuable tips in dealing with health-care difficulties for both healthy and "health-challenged" individuals. While carefully dissecting common difficulties using humor, Abrahams explores how to take charge of your health care. Prescription for Laughter offers practical advice from a patient's perspective that will keep you laughing as you successfully navigate a complicated health-care system.
Holidays in Heck
Over twenty years ago, P.J. O'Rourke published Holidays in Hell, the classic travelogue that found him searching for excitement in places like Warsaw, Managua, and Belfast. In Holidays in Heck, the man dubbed "the funniest writer in America" by Time and The Wall Street Journal steps into the new and slightly less dangerous territory of the family vacation. The O'Rourke clan treks to places as close to home as Disneyland and Washington, D.C., and as far-flung as China, all while P.J. attempts to dissuade his wife from shopping and keep his children entertained. His travels often leave him wishing he were under artillery fire again. At one point, the family takes a ski trip--to Ohio. Here, he warns his daughter not to ski out of bounds, "because it's completely flat." Later, during their visit to the National Museum of American History, P.J. calls the building, "ugly in a way that's best described as built in 1964." And one of his solo adventures takes him on a horse trek across the mountains of Kyrgyzstan, where his route consists of cliff faces that leave him dangling very much off of his saddle.
All My Patients Kick and Bite
The highly amusing, uplifting and entertaining follow-up to All My Patients Have Tales In All My Patients Kick and Bite, a second collection by our intrepid vet, Jeff Wells has his work cut out for him when he learns that llamas do not take kindly to having their toenails trimmed, dog owners in the medical field can be a real pain, Scottish Highland cattle stick together and just might run a vet out of their enclosure, and fixing an overly amorous burro often needs to be prioritized. We also find out what inspired a young Jeff to become a vet, and how his own pets enrich his life. Told with Wells's trademark humor and gentle touch, these and many other heartwarming, heartbreaking, funny and strange stories will give readers a whole new appreciation for those who care for our pets.
Charlie Brown's Christmas Stocking
During his fifty-year career, ninety-nine percent of Charles Schulz's creative energies went into the daily Peanuts comic strip. But once in a while he would create a special something else on the side, and this adorable little package collects two of his best "extras" from the 1960s: two Christmas-themed stories written and drawn for national magazines. Created in 1963 (two years before the Charlie Brown Christmas TV special) as a supplement for Good Housekeeping magazine, "Charlie Brown's Christmas Stocking" comprises 15 original captioned vignettes featuring the entire Peanuts cast of the time -- Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, Frieda, Violet, Shermy, and Sally -- each with a joke or reflection about the season. "The Christmas Story" is an original tale created for Woman's Day in 1968, this one focusing just on Snoopy and the Van Pelt siblings, with Lucy and Linus each explaining the meaning of the holiday to Snoopy. "I'm going to have to be careful," Snoopy reflects at the end of the story, resting on his doghouse next to his bone-decorated tree; "all this theology could ruin my Christmas." The book also includes notes on the provenance of the stories and a pocket-sized biography of Schulz. A perfect gift item for the season!
You Are Not So Smart
An entertaining illumination of the stupid beliefs that make us feel wise, based on the popular blog of the same name. Whether you're deciding which smartphone to purchase or which politician to believe, you think you are a rational being whose every decision is based on cool, detached logic. But here's the truth: You are not so smart. You're just as deluded as the rest of us--but that's okay, because being deluded is part of being human. Growing out of David McRaney's popular blog, You Are Not So Smart reveals that every decision we make, every thought we contemplate, and every emotion we feel comes with a story we tell ourselves to explain them. But often these stories aren't true. Each short chapter--covering topics such as Learned Helplessness, Selling Out, and the Illusion of Transparency--is like a psychology course with all the boring parts taken out. Bringing together popular science and psychology with humor and wit, You Are Not So Smart is a celebration of our irrational, thoroughly human behavior.
Good Old Days My @$$
Welcome to the Not-So-Glorious Days With the uncertain economy, lingering wars, and the ever-present threats of everything from bird flu to Bieber Fever, it's tempting to long for the "good old days." But just how good were they? Buckle up for a bumpy ride down memory lane (and try not to get trampled) as these 665 funny history facts and terrifying truths reveal the unfortunate reality of life during the eighteenth, nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. From patents that should still be pending to hairdos that attract vermin, these horrors will leave you thankful you didn't have to struggle to live through them. Brace yourself as the truth hits you like an ice-cold Victorian-era shower with enough pressure to knock you unconscious. Get ready to shudder with laughter (or horror) at these funny moments in history that are not to be forgotten.
Crazy Salad and Scribble Scrabble
From the bestselling author of I Feel Bad About My Neck two classic collections of uproarious essays tackling everything from feminism to the media, from politics to beauty products, with her inimitable charm and distinctive wit.This edition brings together some of Ephron's most famous writing on a generation of women (and men) who helped shape the way we live now, and on events ranging from the Watergate scandal to the Pillsbury Bake-Off. In these sharp, hilariously entertaining, and vividly observed pieces, Ephron illuminates an era with wicked honesty and insight. From the famous "A Few Words About Breasts" to important pieces on her time working for the New York Post and Gourmet Magazine, these essays show Ephron at her very best.
Cheat
MONOGAMY HAS MET ITS MATCH When it comes to scoring on the side, this book is your best friend. Comedians Bill Burr, Joe DeRosa, and Robert Kelly have experienced the rich pleasures and unspeakable risks of romantic infidelity, and survived to tell their tales. Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to: * Wipe away your shame and guilt--and get smart before you get hard * Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time * Take an hour to shower and scour--and fight your worst enemy: glitter * Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl * Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night * Lie like a woman--and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who've lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly's hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.
Omg! Lol!
While organizing a community interfaith Thanksgiving event, a pastor discovers that people of all religious traditions laugh in the same language.He explores the connections between faith and laughter, examining his own holy heritage in dialogue with followers of other faiths.The story culminates with Interfaith Laughter Night, with an open mike that encourages participants of all the faiths gathered to laugh with each other and at themselves.Come along on a journey of ecumenical silliness! "
Humblebrag
From comedian and writer (Parks and Recreation, Eastbound & Down) Harris Wittels comes a hysterical breakdown of boasts, brags, and self-adulation disguised as humble comments and complaints-based on his popular @humblebrag Twitter feed. Something immediately annoyed Harris Wittels about Twitter. All of a sudden it was acceptable to brag, so long as those brags were ever-so-thinly disguised as transparent humility, such as: "Just filed my taxes. Biggie was right, mo money mo problems." "I hate when I go into a store to get something to eat and the male staff are too busy hitting on me to get my order right: ( so annoying!" Taking action by naming this phenomenon and creating the Twitter account called Humblebrag-dedicated solely to retweeting the humblebrags of others-Wittels's new word took the Internet by storm. Harris also shows readers what humblebrags might look like from some of history's most notable names, as well as devoting an entire chapter to a man who just might be the greatest humblebraggart of them all...
Seriously--I'm Kidding
b >With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR Seriously... I'm Kidding "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." -- People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkusspan
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - In this hilarious instant classic, the creator of The Mindy Project and Never Have I Ever invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood. "[Kaling is] like Tina Fey's cool little sister. Or perhaps . . . the next Nora Ephron."--The New York Times Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck-impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence "Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I'll shut up about it?" Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you've come to the right book, mostly! With several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? proves that Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door--not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka. Praise for Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? "Where have you been all our lives, Mindy?"--Glamour "Who wouldn't want to hang out with Mindy Kaling? . . . [Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?] is like a mash note to comedy nerds."--Time Out New York "Very funny."--Boston Globe
How Not to Read
The Last Stupid Book You'll Ever Need to Read Don't want to slog through lengthy old books like A Tale of Two Cities or The Giving Tree? Sick of being judged by your avid-reader "friends" who talk about books you've never heard of? Want to sound smarter without the strain of actually bettering yourself? Never fear. In How Not to Read, you'll find techniques to fake your way through literature so you never have to read another book--ever! Inside, you'll find: -Tips for getting through anything you have to read by reading faster: Just read every third word. (One Hundred Years of Solitude becomes "Many as the Colonel was, that when him ice." Wow! It's like a Gertrude Stein poem only more comprehensible!) -Entire genres summed up in a single page Historical fiction becomes "Guess who else had sex: Hitler!" -Literary insults to make yourself seem smarter "The only thing sadder than you is a Joycean epiphany!" "You're as weak as a passive sentence written in negative form. And probably not considered by anyone to be worth more than an adverb." It's time to stop fearing those people who keep bringing up Ayn Rand. How Not to Read is here to liberate the world from ever needing to read a book again.
Never Have I Ever
Break out the booze and get ready to spill some secrets with this mammoth collection of "Never Have I Ever" prompts for everyone's favorite adult drinking game.Exposed Secrets . . . DRINK!Confessed Sex-capades . . . DRINK!Shared Life Experiences . . .DRINK!Relived Embarrasments . . .DRINK!Oh Yes You Did . . .DRINK! Packed with 1000 confessions, this book guarantees that your next game of Never Have I Ever will be the most fun, exciting and revealing time you've ever had with your friends.
Sloppy Seconds
New York Times bestselling author Tucker Max has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time and culled out what you might call the "best of the rest" in his final set of 100% true, 100% exclusive stories. Tucker Max's books--I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First, and Hilarity Ensues--are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories. They've sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Their success has meant his success. As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest," and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like a book version of Deleted Scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.
Thoughtful Alphabets
This book combines two of Gorey's Thoughtful Alphabets (long out of print) in one volume never before published in hardcover. In each, Gorey's twenty-six-word stories (wherein the first word begins with A, the last with Z) weave a tale of suspense and intrigue; the story proceeds as the alphabet progresses. *Gorey's deft and witty use of language is apparent even in these twenty-six-word stories. *The book combines two of Gorey's Thoughtful Alphabets in one volume never before published in hardcover. *A must-have for all Goreyphiles!
The Osbick Bird
An Edward Gorey classic back in print after four decades. Emblus Fingby's life was changed forever with the unexpected arrival of the osbick bird. The two became inseparable companions. Their curious relationship came to an end only with the utmost display of loyalty. In The Osbick Bird, Edward Gorey examines the uncertainties of life with his signature humor and illustrations.
Get on the Bus!
In the moment before impact, D.K. Mullarky looked out the driver's side window of his tiny sports car and saw the right front headlight of an out of control SUV, mere inches away. The initial impact drove Mullarky's car down an embankment, where it slammed into a stand of trees. The collision's aftermath left Mullarky with a totaled vehicle and a broken body. Happy to be a survivor, Mullarky relies on his experience behind the wheel as a driver-and a victim-as he shares his humorous and informative guide on how to prevent idiots on the road from making other drivers a statistic. With thousands of Americans losing their lives in preventable, non-alcohol related collisions and crashes every year, one cannot help wonder why drivers are still operating their vehicles while being distracted by drinks, food, conversations, and, worse yet, cell phones. With a wry sense of humor, Mullarky wonders why drivers - act like their signals are made of acid, ready to melt their fingers if they use them; - tempt fate and speed on the road; - drift into other lanes; - ogle crashes and traffic collisions; and - refuse to yield the right-of-way to emergency vehicles. Get on the Bus shares practical advice that can encourage anyone to revisit their own driving habits while it reminds that being self-focused on the road is a disaster just waiting to happen.
Get on the Bus!
In the moment before impact, D.K. Mullarky looked out the driver's side window of his tiny sports car and saw the right front headlight of an out of control SUV, mere inches away. The initial impact drove Mullarky's car down an embankment, where it slammed into a stand of trees. The collision's aftermath left Mullarky with a totaled vehicle and a broken body. Happy to be a survivor, Mullarky relies on his experience behind the wheel as a driver-and a victim-as he shares his humorous and informative guide on how to prevent idiots on the road from making other drivers a statistic. With thousands of Americans losing their lives in preventable, non-alcohol related collisions and crashes every year, one cannot help wonder why drivers are still operating their vehicles while being distracted by drinks, food, conversations, and, worse yet, cell phones. With a wry sense of humor, Mullarky wonders why drivers - act like their signals are made of acid, ready to melt their fingers if they use them; - tempt fate and speed on the road; - drift into other lanes; - ogle crashes and traffic collisions; and - refuse to yield the right-of-way to emergency vehicles. Get on the Bus shares practical advice that can encourage anyone to revisit their own driving habits while it reminds that being self-focused on the road is a disaster just waiting to happen.
I Could Pee on This
The internationally bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry that set off a trend of feline funniness! Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. The author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat "authors" throughout, this whimsical poetry book reveals kitties at their wackiest and most exasperating (but always lovable). IDEAL CAT GIFT FOR CAT LOVERS: For that "crazy cat lady" or "cat mom/dad" in your life, this collection of poems makes for the perfect cat-themed gift for anyone who's obsessed with their pet. COMIC GEMS FOR ADULTS: The sublimely funny jokes within these poems will appeal to men and women of all ages but some of the kitty authors' language may be a bit salty for kids. MINI COFFEE TABLE BOOK: Enchant visitors with this hand-held volume of the best cat poetry sure to delight book lovers and humor enthusiasts alike. Perfect for: Cat ladies, cat gentlemen, and anyone who aspires to visit CatCon one day Fans of dad jokes, Shel Silverstein books and other funny poem writers, and bad kitty behavior in general Go-to gift for birthday, holiday, anniversary, Mother's Day for cat moms, Father's Day for cat dads, or pet adoption congratulations
Chas Addams Happily Ever After
Charles Addams was renowned for his depictions of love (or lack thereof) in his cartoons. The passion of Morticia and Gomez Addams, the lonely desires of Fester, the numerous grim and ghastly fights between husband and wife--all found their way into Addams's signature drawings. Addams's concept of love was quite a bit different from the traditional idea of romance. Forget roses and chocolate, Addams will show you how to woo a mermaid or celebrate an anniversary on a desert island. Or how to keep your husband on a leash--literally. Learn what to do when your prince stays a frog, even after you've kissed him. Compiled from Addams's personal archive, many of these cartoons are previously unpublished gems, while others are Addams classics. The cartoons in Chas Addams Happily Ever After run the gamut from ecstatic love to disappointed affection to murderous obsession and demonstrate that love really does hurt.
Never Empty the Spit Valve on Yourself
The students in Dr. Warnock's bands often succinctly express deep values and lessons that they gained while simply learning to play their instruments. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, and always insightful, these statements made in the hustle of everyday life inspire all those around the students. In this book, Dr. Warnock pulls together some of the statements that have meant the most to him.
Walt Disney’s Uncle Scrooge
This volume starts off with "Only a Poor Old Man," the defining Uncle Scrooge yarn (in fact his first big starring story) in which Scrooge's plan to hide his money in a lake goes terribly wrong. Two other long-form classics in this volume include "Tralla La" (also known as "the bottlecap story," in which Scrooge's intrusion has terrible consequences for a money-less eden) and "Back to the Klondike". Also in this volume are the full-length "The Secret of Atlantis," and over two dozen more shorter stories and one-page gags.Newly recolored in a version that combines the warm, friendly, slightly muted feeling of the beloved classic original comic books with state-of-the-art crispness and reproduction quality, the stories are joined by another volume's worth of extensive "Liner Notes," featuring fascinating behind-the-panels essays about the creation of the stories and analyses of their content from a world's worth of Disney and Barks experts.
The Phantom the Complete Newspaper Dailies, 1940-1943
The critically acclaimed reprint of the Ghost Who Walks continues! The first three volumes are already sold out so act fast and pick up the fourth in the series as soon as you can! The first, original, and best masked hero to ever grace the pages of comic strips and comic books returns in the fourth volume of Hermes Press' new complete critically acclaimed reprint of The Phantom. Referred to by comic strip historian Maurice Horn as the "granddaddy of all costumed superheroes," The Phantom was created in 1936 by Lee Falk with artwork by Ray Moore. The strip hit the funny pages of newspapers well before the Dark Knight or Superman made their first appearances and has been acknowledged as an influence on every "masked man of mystery" since. The Phantom set the standard for action, adventure, intrigue, and romance in adventure comic strips and comic books - it has frequently been copied but never equaled. Included in this volume are three complete Phantom adventures utilizing original King Features syndicate press proofs. See the strips in original, pristine condition.
Pot Stories for the Soul
The pieces in Pot Stories for the Soul are funny, whimsical, bizarre, poignant, informational, shocking, and, yeah, soulful. They are about love, hate, escape, reality, the paranormal, Allen Ginsberg, Ken Kesey, Michelle Phillips, Hunter Thompson, Abbie Hoffman, Wavy Gravy and peanut butter. Ultimately, these stories reveal the wide, weird, and wonderful subculture of stoners, where the reefers are mad, the joints are fat, and the buzz lasts for six-and-a-half days. Mainstream America has had an uneasy relationship with marijuana. Once a legal substance, the 1930s saw a massive campaign against the "Devil's Harvest" that led to pot being rendered illegal. In the 1960s, marijuana became one of the defining elements of the counterculture before once again being shunted to the sidelines. Over the last decade, however, marijuana has gone mainstream and has been the topic of seminars, expos, concerts, comedy routines, movies, TV shows, and college courses across the country. Originally published by High Times in 1999, Pot Stories for the Soul won the Firecracker Alternative Book Award and also became a Quality Paperback Book Club selection. This brand-new edition includes several new essays by Paul Krassner, plus his foreword, his afterword, and the evolution of cannabis sanity in between.
Miles of Thoughts
In the whimsical tradition he is known for, humorist Dennis Ford once again embarks on an amusing exploration into the captivating worlds of science, literature, history, and popular culture-all without ever leaving the comfy air-conditioned interior of his Saturn Ion. In the style of his previous work, Thinking About Everything, Ford shares a medley of new musings on the worries of the world and the unique friendliness of San Antonio as he plays peek-a-boo with a spider, attempts to climb a rainbow, and captures a leprechaun. Ever the helpful humorist, Ford continues on a journey of thoughtful adventures through the mundane and esoteric as he explains how the postal service can mail itself into a profitable future, why fantastical lies can make elections more interesting, and a way through which one can acquire a window seat on the ferry to the Great Beyond. Included are "Excellent Groaners," a compilation of puns, and "Professor Fawcett's Notorious Lecture on Test-Irrelevant Thoughts," a learned presentation on the psychological perils of test anxiety told partly in acronyms. Miles of Thoughts offers an amusing glimpse into one man's upside-down world as he commutes through the beautiful scenery of the New Jersey Pine Barrens and contemplates life.
Miles of Thoughts
In the whimsical tradition he is known for, humorist Dennis Ford once again embarks on an amusing exploration into the captivating worlds of science, literature, history, and popular culture-all without ever leaving the comfy air-conditioned interior of his Saturn Ion. In the style of his previous work, Thinking About Everything, Ford shares a medley of new musings on the worries of the world and the unique friendliness of San Antonio as he plays peek-a-boo with a spider, attempts to climb a rainbow, and captures a leprechaun. Ever the helpful humorist, Ford continues on a journey of thoughtful adventures through the mundane and esoteric as he explains how the postal service can mail itself into a profitable future, why fantastical lies can make elections more interesting, and a way through which one can acquire a window seat on the ferry to the Great Beyond. Included are "Excellent Groaners," a compilation of puns, and "Professor Fawcett's Notorious Lecture on Test-Irrelevant Thoughts," a learned presentation on the psychological perils of test anxiety told partly in acronyms. Miles of Thoughts offers an amusing glimpse into one man's upside-down world as he commutes through the beautiful scenery of the New Jersey Pine Barrens and contemplates life.
Roy Blount's Book of Southern Humor
The richest vein of American humor--the broadest, the earthiest, the most outrageously inventive--can be found below the Mason-Dixon line, where the comic impulse just naturally seems allied to the native storytelling genius, and the sacred and the profane are on the closest of terms. Roy Blount, Jr., himself a native Southerner and on paper and in person one of the funniest men in America, has dug deep and foraged far and wide to produce the definitive treasury of Southern humor for our time. It comprises more than 150 selections, including stories, sketches, essays, poems, memoirs, and blues and C&W lyrics, arranged under such headings as "My People, My People (How's Your Mama 'n Them?)," "Here Be Dragons, or, How Come These Butterbeans Have an Alligator Taste?" and "Lying and Other Forms of Communication." The wildly heterogeneous roster of contributors range from such classics as William Faulkner, Mark Twain, Flannery O'Connor, Zora Neale Hurston, and Eudora Welty to such brilliantly funny contemporaries as Molly Ivins, Dave Barry, Harry Crews, Ishmael Reed, Barry Hannah, Bailey White, and Roy Blount, Jr., his very own self. If you could stop laughing long enough you'd probably call Roy Blount's Book of Southern Humor a classic. And you'd be right.
The Very Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes
The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say - jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that 'it's in the way that you tell them', Dads - for the best part of forever - have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it's telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say - jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers - but don't tell your dad that, it'll only encourage him!
Look Ma We Made It
"Look Ma We Made It", is an amusing and moving tribute to the author's parents. Her childhood is fondly recalled, with plenty of heart-warming episodes to chuckle over. Thelma writes with humor and paints vivid portraits of herself and of many colorful personalities she encountered along the way.
A Full Cup of Joe
Life can be, and often is, funny. All you have to do is watch for it, or sometimes just experience it. Joe does this for you in this book. So, grab a cup of joe, set back, relax and join Joe in reliving his funniest life experiences. You may not squirt your favorite beverage out of your nose, but his funny stories will bring a smile to your face and put a spring in your step. It's obvious that he has seen, heard and experienced more funny situations than a normal person deserves. Meanwhile, you will learn how to solve problems by reading the "wet basement" story and how he became "A Real Guy" at church camp. Also read "Comments about the book that they surely would have made had they been asked."
The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, and Rock ’n’ Roll Lists
Get ready for the most outrageous, unapologetically hedonistic rock-and-roll book ever. Combing the best nuggets of drug- andsex-related exploits from the lives of M繹tley Cru]e, Led Zeppelin, Elvis Presley, Keith Richards, Michael Jackson, and dozens more of infamous rock-and-roll animals, sexpert Judy McGuire has compiled the mother lode of all books of lists. Beginning with health tips from Ozzy Osbourne and weeding its way through every possible vice, The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll Lists leaves no Rolling Stone unturned in its quest for cheap laughs and mind-blowing trivia, especially when it comes to the debauchery of rock-star lives and the songs that make parents crazy. It's all here, and lavishly illustrated by comic book hero Cliff Mott, the genius behind the outrageous drawings in the punk rock and heavy metal volumes in this series. The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll Lists is the ultimate trip for all rock-and-roll fans living life vicariously from the comfort of their armchair or toilet. But be careful . . . after reading this book, you just may just wind up in rehab!
Babyhood
The classic New York Times bestseller from actor/comedian Paul Reiser, a book that the San Francisco Chronicle calls "an out-loud laugh on every page," is now available in trade paperback for the very first time. For fans of Reiser's long-running sitcom Mad About You, with Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria, for readers of comic memoirs like Tina Fey's Bossypants, and "for the couple considering parenthood as well as for parents who are decades past their days of diaper changing...this book hits home and hits the funnybone" (Chicago Tribune).
Fallen Superheroes
Using superheroes as the allegory, this colorful photo narrative explores the not-so-glamorous and sometimes dark realities of those who strive to live their dreams against all odds. The creators of Mime Very Own Book have reunited to pair trademark imagery with witty snippets to create a hilarious visual smorgasbord of real people and their quest to see themselves as more than they really are. From fast food to the simple pleasures of gardening, this lighthearted spoof reveals the superhero in all.
What to Expect When Your Wife is Expanding
In this classic parody, Thomas Hill presents the testosterone-inspired answer to the bestseller What to Expect When You're Expecting. The third edition of the best, funniest father's guide to having a baby, What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding, is now thoroughly revised and updated, but it's still packed with information, advice, and attitude distinctively for guys. Originally conceived as a little parody, just something funny and helpful for the expectant man, the book is now a classic gift, passed knowingly from one generation of first-time papas to the next. With this lighthearted, month-by-month instruction manual on the care and nurture of a pregnant wife--the main role of expectant dads--he'll handle all the important milestones and topics: what not to say during the three phases of labor; what to buy, how many, and when; maintaining work-life balance; maintaining work-life-wife balance. New features in What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding include: The minefield: the wrong gifts for your pregnant wife Social media pregnancy etiquette: status update! Eight reasons why not to pick out maternity clothesWhat to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding also features the latest trends! Festive gender-reveal parties. (Really!) Updated baby name guide, including Twitter hash tags. Cloth diapers: The debate is back!
Garfield Fat-Cat 3-Pack 7
This uproarious collection includes three books in one: Garfield Hangs Out, Garfield Takes Up Space, and Garfield Says a Mouthful. The tubby trickster is at it again, and the joke's always on Jon! Over the years, Garfield's pulled some great stunts on his hapless--and helpless--owner: gluing the phone to Jon's ear; greasing the bottom of his shoes; and giving Jon a Mohawk while he slept (hey, you snooze, you lose!). But it's all in fun. Deep down, Garfield knows he needs Jon. Who else is going to pay the pizza delivery guy? Kick back, relax, and join the fat cat for an extra-large laughfest of hilarious high jinks! The GARFIELD FAT CAT 3-PACK series collects the GARFIELD comic-strip compilation books in a new, full-color format. Garfield may have gone through a few changes, but one thing has stayed the same: his enormous appetite for food and fun. So enjoy some supersized laughs with the insatiable cat, because too much fun is never enough!
The New Mom from a to Z
An honest and humorous look at motherhood for the freaked-out soon-to-be moms of the world. Women are human, too. And although they'll read every pregnancy book they can get their hands on to their lesser half's one, they can use a hug and a "you'll be juuuust fine" from time to time. That's the idea behind The New Mom From A to Z - to give expecting and new moms a well-earned stress break while delivering some helpful information with a smile, in a book that weighs less than The Bible. This does not pretend to be What to Expect When You're Expecting, it's more like Shit Happens and It'll All Be OK. Taking Mom from A Is for Answers (everyone you know ha at least one) to Z Is for Zippers (they're not your friend), each entry is paired with a photo from areal mom giving a true-to-life look at the exciting, hormonal, and sometimes perplexing experience that is new motherhood. The ups, the downs, and the soiled. That's parenthood.
Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
A hilarious #1 bestselling collection of essays from those nearest and dearest to comedian Chelsea Handler--the people she's lied to. "My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate." -- Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
As the Matzo Ball Turns
Jozef Rothstein arrived from small-town Pennsylvania in Hollywood with stars in his eyes. Ten years later, he left with those same stars circling around his head. Reeling from the humbling routine of an actor looking for work--any work, even for a chewing gum commercial, clad as a beaver in Speedo trunks and a Scooby-Doo cape while surrounded by beautiful women dressed to the nines--Rothstein found humor the best solution to saving his sanity. Meanwhile, his money-generating job paralleled his dream employment. Rothstein's ten-year sentence as a waiter in a Jewish deli frequented by Tinsel Town's celebrities gave him more of the same ego pummeling, doled out in equal measure by customers and managers, but with a twist. The occasional hit men and drive-bys added just enough excitement to make near-death experiences an unwelcome reality. Here, too, laughter saves the day, and Rothstein gleefully shares the inspirations for a never-ending comedy of terrors. Just as frequently, his own missteps find him flat-flat face on the pavement, sharing space with customers familiar to the world. And yes, Rothstein does name names. Find your favorites in As the Matzo Ball Returns and see Hollywood stars--and waiters everywhere--in a whole new light. As the Matzo Ball Turns was also honored as a 'Finalist in the Humor Category' from Forward Book of the Year Awards.
