Lymescale & Grime, Getting to the Point
This is the sixth book in the Lymescale & Grime series. In this volume we reveal the name of the man who invented the inflatable dartboard and by the way, if you didn't like the first five books, you'll really hate this one.
Jerome v. God
Jerome Light is a middle-class, upstanding, married, family man who happens to be an atheist. When no one is home one evening, Jerome watches as his house is swallowed and destroyed by a sinkhole. His insurance company says he is not covered for this Act of God. Unable to sue the insurance company or God, Jerome decides to sue a television evangelist named Gideon Calhoun, who regularly says he is "God's agent here on Earth." A dashing, mysterious attorney named Thaddeus MacConnell takes the case.Jerome and Gideon are given surprising mandates from their attorneys. Jerome, the atheist, must prove in court that God exists, and that Gideon is God's agent. Gideon, the evangelist, must argue that he is not God's agent, and that God may not even exist!The families of both men are pulled, sometimes against their will, into this epic battle that changes everyone's life forever.
Spud: The Reunion
It is 2003 - ten years since 'Spud' Milton's class of 93 finished school. Despite their unbreakable bond, the Crazy Eight have lost touch. An invitation to their ten-year reunion weekend at the school triggers an unsettling tumult of emotions for Spud. He's sure he won't go, hardened by the prospect of revealing a decade of spectacular non-achievement to his former, privileged classmates. At twenty-eight, Spud is stuck in a one-third life crisis: his glittering theatre career has stalled before it's even begun, he still doesn't have a girlfriend, and circumstances have forced him to move back in with his parents and his senile grandmother, Wombat, whose walks never end where they begin. But powerful machinations are already at work. A bombardment of messages and darkly threatening phone calls from unknown numbers sees his resistance begin to crumble and his curiosity piqued. It's just a weekend, after all . . . what else could possibly go wrong? The Crazy Eight are back. From John van de Ruit, Spud: The Reunion is a riotous trip down memory lane ten years in the making. Featuring all the signature wit and "catastrophic nostalgia" of the original series, this is the hilarious, adult chapter Spud's fans have been waiting for.
The Perturbation of O
The Perturbation of O tells the comic story of how a loser became a winner with the publication of his memoir, Gideon's Confession, and the chaotic aftermath that the book and an encounter with Oprah Winfrey have had on two people: Gideon Anderson and Regina Blast, a woman about whom Gideon wrote intimately in his memoir. Told mostly in a single conversation between Gideon and Regina as they sit on a spring morning drinking coffee and eating pastries, The Perturbation of O deals with concepts of fame and intimacy, and who has the right to speak about whom.
Kiss, Marry, Murder
Comedy Women in Print Prize winner and author of Tinker, Tailor, Schoolmum, Spy Faye Brann is back with a new, fast-paced murder mystery series. TV Reality show host and former journalist Jessica Sinclair quits her job after receiving a death threat and is scratching a living as a private investigator when she discovers the body of her former best friend, Marianne Hughes. Accused of her murder by a police chief with a grudge and devastated that she never got to put her relationship right with Marianne, Jessica sets out to find her killer.Smelling D-list celebrity blood, the press set up shop outside her front door after news of her involvement with the case is conveniently leaked. Jessica begins to suspect the answer is close to home - perhaps literally. With the help of her two new recruits - bitter divorcee Darcy, and Della, a frozen fish truck driver - Jessica investigates the most likely suspects and ends up revealing uncomfortable secrets. When more threatening notes arrive, Jessica realises that she really does have a target on her back. Time is running out... Can she find the murderer before they kill her, too?Set in the leafy environs of Barnes in southwest London, Kiss, Marry, Murder is a fast-paced, suspenseful murder mystery with a humorous twist. Middle aged women are at the heart of this story; the combination of action, sleuthing, wit and heart makes it the perfect feel-good read for commercial fiction fans who enjoy humorous crime, such as the Finlay Donovan series (Elle Cosimano), Vera Wong (Jesse Sutanto) and the Stephanie Plum series (Janet Evanovich).2025 IngramSpark(R) Editorial Selection - Mystery/Thriller
THE CASE OF THE MISSING BURGER (with the bun)
When Tommy's burger mysteriously disappeared from the fridge, and no one in the household could give an account for its whereabouts, Tommy sprung into action and decided that he had to do some detective work! Armed with his facts, his trusted assistant Mylo the cat, Tommy sets out on a mission to uncover the truth and find his missing burger (with the bun). Where is his burger? How and why did it leave its safe haven?This is a fascinating case! Let's take the journey, and find out what happened to Tommy's missing burger (with the bun).
Love Mocks a Limp Dick
Lance Majestik, age 59, has had to live his entire life with a three-inch embarrassment he calls Little Lance, a gutless traitor who goes limp and useless at the first whiff of real pussy. Intentionally keeping himself out of romantic situations for the past 25 years, Lance finally dips his toe back in the dating pool, but with the wrong woman. His inevitable "failure to launch" causes an enraged Lori to go on the offensive to publicly shame poor Lance. Although humiliated, Lance is also angry enough to fight back, and the war of the sexes is on. Throwing every scrap of his dignity away is just part of the price a much maligned guy has to pay for some semblance of perceived victory. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Donald W. Desaulniers is a retired Canadian lawyer who has penned more than 75 novels, most of which poke fun at the legal profession that everyone loves to loathe.
Via Paradise
George Croft has decided to have a lie-in. So, apparently, has almost everyone else as Britain has come to a complete standstill. Millions of people, particularly the lowest paid, have simply not turned up for work. With parliament in summer recess, the beleaguered cabinet secretary can only find the Prime Minister - somewhat the worse for wear after a clandestine liaison at a country spa - and an assortment of hastily-chosen assistants to tackle this national emergency. Plans to take back control go awry as the Prime Minister is unable to find his clothes, his wife is besieged in their house, corrupt financier Josh Ford loses both himself and his money, the over-zealous security guard proves a bit too keen for everyone's liking, and there are only cartoons on the news channels. Lost in the countryside, they encounter the vigilante vicar of Eden village and some strange goings on in Paradise Woods. Will they ever find the way back to civilisation or do all roads lead to Paradise?Many of the characters in this book use racist, sexist, homophobic and other offensive language. If you are likely to be uncomfortable with this, then this book is not for you.
Say Hello to My Little Friend
Finalist for the Kirkus Prize Scarface meets Moby Dick in Say Hello to My Little Friend--"a masterclass in pace and precision...brilliant" (Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah, National Book Award Finalist of Chain Gang All Stars) about a young man's attempt to capitalize on his mother's murky legacy--a story steeped in Miami's marvelous and sinister magic. Failed Pitbull impersonator Ismael Reyes--you can call him Izzy--might not be the Scarface type, but why should that keep him from trying? Growing up in Miami has shaped him into someone who dreams of being the King of the 305, with the money, power, and respect he assumes comes with it. After finding himself at the mercy of a cease-and-desist letter from Pitbull's legal team and living in his aunt's garage, Izzy embarks on an absurd quest to turn himself into a modern-day Tony Montana. When Izzy's efforts lead him to the tank that houses Lolita, a captive orca at the Miami Seaquarium, she proves just how powerful she and the water surrounding her really are--permeating everything from Miami's sinking streets to Izzy's memories to the very heart of the novel itself. What begins as Izzy's story turns into a super-saturated fever dream as sprawling and surreal as the Magic City, one as sharp as an iguana's claws, and as menacing as a killer whale's teeth. As the truth surrounding Izzy's boyhood escape from Cuba surfaces, the novel reckons with the forces of nature, with the limits and absence of love, and with the dangers of pursuing a tragic inheritance. "Blistering, hilarious, [and] tragic" (The Miami Herald), Say Hello to My Little Friend is Jennine Cap籀 Crucet's most daring, heartbreaking, and fearless book yet.
Spark
Hilarious, strange, and moving in equal measure--a Japanese multi-million-copy smash hit about the struggles of a young manzai duo of stand-up comedians Perfect for readers of strange, funny Japanese fiction, from Sayaka Murata's Convenience Store Woman to Emi Yagi's Diary of a Void "A whip-smart tale that'll prove impossible to put down" - Vogue Tokunaga is a young comedian struggling to make a name for himself. He meets the older Kamiya, who is either a crazy genius or perhaps just crazy, and who agrees to take Tokunaga under his wing if he writes his biography. Kamiya's indestructible confidence inspires Tokunaga, but it also makes him doubt not just the limits of his own talent, but his dedication to manzai comedy--a Japanese form of comedy involving a duo, one partner playing a more serious character, the other playing the fool. A novel about comedy that's as moving and thoughtful as it is funny, and written by an author who himself found fame as one half of a manzai comedy duo, Spark is already a sensation in Japan, where it won the prestigious Akutagawa Prize, has sold more than 3 million copies, has been adapted for manga, stage, film, and a hit Netflix show, which is available now in the US. Offering a hilarious and poignant look at the unique world of Japanese manzai comedy, Spark is also a story about art and friendship, about countless bizarre drunken conversations, and about how far it's acceptable to go for a laugh.
The Station Philosophers' Club
The self-styled Station Philosophers meet when it suits them in the brasserie in Gare Bordeaux Saint-Jean.There's William the translator whose head is almost in the ether and whose feet are not quite on the ground. He's in love with Clara, a student at the Conservatoire.And there are Otto the ex-train-driver, Alice the yoga teacher, Gwen who worked on a sheep-farm, Steph the scientist, Sean the Irish priest turned army veteran, and now, the waiter, Alex.They all have stories up their sleeves, mostly about random events in their lives.One day William buys the wrong hat...
Mama kommt!
Victor Bl羹thgen (1844/1920) war ein deutscher Dichter und Schriftsteller. Aus dem Buch: "Morgen Schatz! sagt er und legt ein Paket Sch羹lerschreibhefte auf den Tisch. Vor allen Dingen... Sie sitzt am N瓣htische beim Fenster und stickt an einer Decke, altdeutsch auf Kaffeesack, im bequemen, zierlichen, bordeauxfarbenen Morgenschlafrock, und sie richtet l瓣chelnd den Kopf hoch, auf dem noch das Morgenh瓣ubchen mit roten B瓣ndern sitzt, l瓣?t die Stickerei in den Scho? fallen und wartet, bis er ihr K繹pfchen zwischen beide H瓣nde nimmt und sie herzhaft auf den Mund k羹?t..."
Happy Bloody Christmas
Don't miss the perfect Christmas present for yourself (or for that best friend who would definitely help you hide a body...) --------------------- Anna's Christmas Eve To Do List: 1. Wrap the kids' presents​2. Peel the potatoes ​3. Get rid of the dead body?!Hungover and exhausted after her family's annual party, all Anna Johnson wants for Christmas is to finish her to-do list and finally sit down with the world's biggest glass of wine.But when she stumbles across a dead body in her larder, her plans are well and truly buggered.A mysterious death in her home really is the last thing she needs, but with her judgemental in-laws arriving in less than twenty-four hours, turning her house into a crime scene is not an option. If she's going to save Christmas, it's up to Anna to find out what the hell's gone on. Oh - and figure out what to do with the body before one of the kids finds it. And you thought burning the turkey was the worst that could happen... ---------------------��Not Another Bloody Christmas is out now!�� READERS LOVE HAPPY BLOODY CHRISTMAS! 'Had me in fits of laughter, tears streaming down my face!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Will be going in everyone's stockings this Christmas!'⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Engaging and quirky in the very best way' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'A must read for Winter 2024!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'I was absorbed from the very first page' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'I have never laughed so much while reading a book!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 'So fresh, exciting, funny and intelligent!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Kept me guessing until the end!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'An absolute riotous Christmas cracker!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Motherland meets Agatha Christie....The funniest book I have read this year!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'I would 100% recommend this book!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ AUTHORS LOVE HAPPY BLOODY CHRISTMAS! 'An outrageously funny, festive romp which is as utterly wonderful as it is (Christmas) crackers!' MIKE GAYLE'A brilliantly written, hilarious whodunnit. Smart and very, very funny.' IAN MOORE'So funny, I'm annoyed I didn't write it!' GILL SIMS'This hilarious, sweary, cheerful whodunnit is a full-on festive romp that will make you laugh out loud.' ADELE PARKS FOR Platinum 'The perfect present for the friend who would help you hide a body!' CHRISSIE MANBY'Hilarious, festive and relatable. A total Christmas cracker!' FIONA LEITCH'So good, you should sack off Christmas dinner and read this instead!' HARPER FORD'A compulsive Christmas cake binge of a read - terrific!' J.M. HALL'Laugh a minute? More like laugh a second!' HANNAH HENDY'Hilarious with dollops of fun and a brilliant whodunnit!' JONATHAN WHITELAW'A five-star triumph!' ROSIE HANNIGAN'Chock-full of proper jokes!' ABIGAIL BURDESS
