Gullivers Travels
EVERY MAN DESIRES TO LIVE LONG, BUT NO MAN WISHES TO BE OLD. Shipwrecked on his first voyage, he wakes up in Lilliput--a kingdom of tiny people who are one-twelfth the height of human beings . . . Blown off course by the gales on his second, he is sold to the queen by a giant farmer in Brobdingnag . . . Attacked by pirates on his third, marooned near a desolate island, he discovers Laputa--the flying island with educated but impractical people . . . And as a captain of a merchantman on his fourth voyage, abandoned on a landing boat by his crew, he meets Houyhnhnms--a race of talking horses who are the rulers, and Yahoos--the deformed creatures who are human beings in their base form. Meet Lemuel Gulliver, as he describes his adventurous voyages across the islands he lands upon. A universally-read satirical fantasy, Jonathan Swift's Gulliver's Travels continues to remain a classic of English literature even more than two and a half centuries after it was first published.
Adventures in Poetry
"Hal Crook has created a new poetic form: the poetorial!" Margie Keil Flanders, FormerManaging Editor, Crosswinds Poetry Journal "Hal Crook is the king of irony, and he writesa mean poetorial!" Paul Hostovsky, author of Pitching for the Apostates "Crook transforms poetry into a sweet but changedinstrument for argument, education, and whimsy."Rod Kessler, Professor Emeritus, Salem State HAL CROOK, Professor Emeritus, Berklee Collegeof Music is an internationally known jazz musician.He has published four books on jazz improvisation, one novel, one collection of short stories, and one volume of poetry. From the FOREWORD... As ludicrous as this may sound, this book isa competition between Jazz-an art form I havepracticed and played professionally for most of mylife, which many people consider to be an acquiredtaste itself-and numerous other subjects that mayhave the feel or vibe of an acquired taste to them. Though for some of these subjects, you will have touse your imagination a little to grasp the connectionto an acquired taste. Or a lot. Or not at all, if you'rea certain kind of person. Like, a little bit off is good.Or a lot. So relax, because who isn't? Each piece is written in the style of a narrativeeditorial, but expressed in the form of a poem, e.g., using stanzas and line breaks-like this one-and other elements of poetry as well, such as clich矇s-those old familiar sayings used to help the readerunderstand what the writer is talking about. Know what I'm saying? More Comments..."Hal Crook is the king of irony, has a beautiful smile, writes a mean poetorial, and can spell loquacious and empty a trombone spit valve simultaneously." Paul Hostovsky, author of Pitching for the Apostates"Should anyone be surprised that a jazzman-turned-author like Hal Crook-a musician famous for improvising-should start riffing on the very form of poetry, as he does in ADVENTURES IN POETRY: Poetorials on JAZZ and Other Acquired Tastes, transforming that art into a sweet but changed instrument for argument, meditation, edu- cation, and whimsy? I learned a lot from these pages." Rod Kessler, Professor Emeritus, Salem State University, author of Self-Portrait with Tree"Hal Crook has created a new poetic form: the poetorial! Smart, wild commentaries on the world, as only he sees it. A great read, with snorting laughs throughout. I'll happily read anything Hal writes." Margie Keil Flanders, Former Managing Editor, Crosswinds Poetry Journal, author of The Persuasive Beauty of Imperfection"Superb." Gregg Mazel, Technology Integration Specialist"Hal's writing is mind blowing!" Jesús Santandreu, Saxophonist/Educator"Thank you for putting 'life' into words so perfectly!" JoAnn Marzocchi Phillips, Vocalist/Educator"Stone-cold genius." Scot Jackson, Drummer/Educator"Words of wisdom!" Brian O'Connell, Bassist"One of the best, [Hal] writes from experience...says what we in jazz experience." Al MacDonald, Saxophonist"And there's the low down!" Bob Albanese, Pianist"Brilliant." Bob McChesney, Trombonist/Educator"This is fantastic poetry!" Kevin Sullivan, Saxophonist/Educator"Took me out of this world." Ola Piano, Pianist"Great work on so many levels. [Hal] creates in people the desire to think." JH Cooper, Saxophonist/Educator"Truth." Dave Zinno, Bassist/Educator"A thinking man's jazzbo." Eric S. Pettine, Trombonist/Educator"Loved this! A heart opens up and bleeds musical expression." Dave Dubinsky, Trumpeter/Educator"[Hal] never disappoints." Mark Miller, Trombonist "Read Hal Crook closely. We have giants among us." Andrew Dow, Bassist/Educator
December Dread
Going home for the holidays can be murder in a bracing mystery by Amazon Charts bestselling and Edgar Award-nominated author Jess Lourey.After more than a decade away, Mira James isn't keen on returning to her Minnesota hometown for the holidays. Her childhood memories aren't particularly jolly. Even less festive is the news of a serial killer on the loose.With only ten shopping days till Christmas, the Candy Cane Killer has been very busy slashing through the snow. Eager to earn her official PI stripes, Mira is anxious to track him down. But when the latest victim is a woman from her high school graduating class, the investigation hits a little too close to home.Even worse? Mira has good reason to fear that she's next. To stop a killer in his tracks, she may have to start digging into the ghosts of her own Christmas past.Revised edition: This edition of December Dread includes editorial revisions.
Always Be Santa
During the Christmas season there are Santa Clauses everywhere. The common explanation to kids who ask why they see so many guys in the red suits, is that they are all Santa's Helpers and they help out the real Santa every year at Christmas time. But could one of those helpers be the real Santa? That's the rumor you know. Santa Claus loves to go on special visits or be available for Santa photos so he can personally meet as many people as possible - all year long! "Always Be Santa: True Stories From The Guy In The Big Red Suit Vol. 1" provides a glimpse into the unique world of Santa Claus and his real encounters with real children and their families that happen year round in some very familiar places. In these pages you'll discover a collection of fun and heartwarming stories and beautiful illustrations, to be enjoyed as a family in a "Story A Day Until Christmas/Advent Style" experience. Families will find that these stories will enhance their Christmas celebration, while uplifting them and encouraging them to "Always Be Santa". Not just at Christmas time - but also all year long.
Always Be Santa
During the Christmas season there are Santa Clauses everywhere. The common explanation to kids who ask why they see so many guys in the red suits, is that they are all Santa's Helpers and they help out the real Santa every year at Christmas time. But could one of those helpers be the real Santa? That's the rumor you know. Santa Claus loves to go on special visits or be available for Santa photos so he can personally meet as many people as possible - all year long! "Always Be Santa: True Stories From The Guy In The Big Red Suit Vol. 1" provides a glimpse into the unique world of Santa Claus and his real encounters with real children and their families that happen year round in some very familiar places. In these pages you'll discover a collection of fun and heartwarming stories and beautiful illustrations, to be enjoyed as a family in a "Story A Day Until Christmas/Advent Style" experience. Families will find that these stories will enhance their Christmas celebration, while uplifting them and encouraging them to "Always Be Santa". Not just at Christmas time - but also all year long.
Caught Out There
Platonic comedy (platon-com): Because sometimes a man and a woman are actually just good friends who will never, ever have sex. Black: With a capital B and specific cultural intentions.Plot: With the world in disarray and human-form aliens appearing and disappearing all the time, the Earthlings have not ceased their quests for love and companionship. Heartly and Malik are lovelorn humans who meet by chance at a bar and forge a friendship that turns out to be the platonic rebound they both need. A mutual dare leads them to a Zodiac-based matchmaking service, and they soon realize that extraterrestrials are also on the market. As news of these Black-presenting aliens who call themselves "Notofearths" (as in, not of Earth) dominate media, the new besties wonder... Will they discover down-to-earth love or take the chance to see what's out there?
The Accidental Rewrite
From the Sunday Times and internationally acclaimed author Milly Johnson comes her charming US debut--a witty, heartwarming tale that combines the humor and charm of 1980s rom-com Overboard with classic British flavor. Dive into this remarkable women's fiction novel and join heroine Polly on her hilarious, touching journey to rewrite her own story.What if it was possible to start over again? To leave everything behind, forget all that went before, and live the life you'd always dreamed of?Polly Potter is losing the plot of her life. At work, her jerk of a boss is making her days unbearable. At home, she's trapped in an unappreciated relationship with a man-child of a partner. She's left completely drained by always putting others first. Amid this chaos, Polly finds solace in one place: the pages of her novel, where she shapes the world of the fearless and triumphant Sabrina Anderson, a character who embodies everything Polly wishes she could be. And thus a plan is born: Polly Potter is going to stop writing the life she wants and start living it.Just as she makes her move--quitting her job, leaving her partner, and embarking on a road trip to start over--fate turns everything upside down. A wild turn of events leaves her far from home along the Yorkshire coast, in the hospital, waking up from a concussion, believing her name is Sabrina Anderson. She doesn't know where she's come from, but she feels she could heal in that seaside town, with the fresh air, seagulls, and a few kind strangers who take her into their lives. And into the heart of their joyful, boisterous Italian family restaurant--run by Teddy, the warmhearted son of her new landlady. When the restaurant is threatened, she knows she has the skills to help--and as her memory slowly returns, she must choose between Sabrina's life or Polly's. With her identity in question, Polly wonders: what if this new life could truly be hers? What if she could rewrite her story with a happier ending?Previously published in the UK as The Happiest Ever After.
Ma Hennigan's Chambers
The barristers in the city are mainly housed in comfortable, well-equipped chambers owned by their governing body. Directly opposite, surrounded by high rise office blocks is a remnant of jollier times. Ma Hennigan's Chambers is a former house of notorious fame where Tommy, grandson of the great madam Ma Hennigan, presides over a set of barely legal chambers where the law is practiced, songs are sung, and toasts are drunk. It is inevitable that there will be a collision of wills between the clots and the cream. The author has written a hilarious romp through the tangle of government, law and policing.
About Love
Little Clothbound Classics: irresistible mini editions of short stories, novellas, and essays from the world's greatest writers, designed by the award-winning Coralie Bickford-SmithA Penguin Classics Hardcover From a writer widely considered to be one of greatest ever of the form, Anton Chekhov's short stories offer unforgettable character, crystalline expression, and deep, powerful mystery. Collected here are five of his very best tales, "The Lady with the Little Dog," "The House with the Mezzanine," and the trilogy "The Man in the Case," "Gooseberries," and "About Love."
The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman
Endlessly digressive, boundlessly imaginative and unmatched in its absurd and timeless wit Laurence Sterne's great masterpiece of bawdy humour and rich satire defies any attempt to categorize it, with a rich metafictional narrative that might classify it as the first 'postmodern' novel. Part novel, part digression, its gloriously disordered narrative interweaves the birth and life of the unfortunate 'hero' Tristram Shandy, the eccentric philosophy of his father Walter, the amours and military obsessions of Uncle Toby, and a host of other characters, including Dr Slop, Corporal Trim and the parson Yorick. A joyful celebration of the endless possibilities of the art of fiction, Tristram Shandy is also a wry demonstration of its limitations. The text and notes of this volume are based on the acclaimed Florida Edition, with a critical introduction by Melvyn New and Christopher Ricks's introductory essay from the first Penguin Classics edition. For more than seventy years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,700 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.
When the Man Dances
Neal Pilchard, an unemployed English professor, is hired to drive a venture capitalist's luxury car from North Carolina to Chicago. Along the way he crashes while drag racing, gets himself in a dangerous entanglement with a repo man's wife, and rescues the capitalist's ne'er-do-well son from a pair of mob enforcers. But this is just the beginning of Neal's misadventures. The simple driveaway turns into a race across the country, a wild ride through crime, violence, role-playing, and romance.
Curio's Carnival
When Primula Wallace decides to run for Chair of the Parish Council, and Abigail steps up to oppose her, she suddenly finds herself gaining popularity. The fear of the oppressive Primula at the helm, wins her approval and support for the first time in ten years. With a new found confidence, she takes a huge leap of faith, and her life takes a surprising turn for the better. Her fellow Curio's join her, and plan the biggest thing to ever happen in Wotton Dursley. Everything is riding on the success of the Curio's as Abigail takes the lead, pushing Chloe into the limelight, and with Edwina's advanced skills, they plan to astound the village, and hopefully win the election in what is a campaign of smears and lies aimed against her. There are fun and frolics once again, as the Curio's go all out, in what is the most imaginative and creative story of the Curio's so far. A thrilling and captivating read, that will leave you breathless and wanting more, in his best Curio story to date, from Robin John Morgan.
The Silver-Haired Sisterhood
The BRAND NEW feel-good read from USA Today Bestseller Judy Leigh'We're celebrating life, ' Rose said. 'Life, every single minute of it. Tell me, girls - is there ever anything better to celebrate than that?'Five years after seventy-something Tess jetted off to Paris with her best friends, Jen, Rose, Della and Pam - the Five French Hens - for Jen's hen do, a lot has changed. Prospective groom Eddie has been given the heave-ho, Tess's husband has been sent packing and the Hens are making the most of their golden years.But Tess is stuck in a rut. Rather than embrace her independence, she watches on as Rose wows Paris, Jen explores Iceland and Pam heads to Greece. But when tragedy strikes Della, Tess is shaken into action. They both need a change of scenery and longing to see the Northern Lights, they head to the Highlands of Scotland and the magical Isle of Skye.There Tess and Della get more than they bargained for. Along with stunning scenery and breathtaking history, they find new friends, grand adventures and even romance. And when they're joined by the other Hens, together they start plotting a fabulous new future for them all.Travel with Judy Leigh to the magical Highlands in this uplifting, joyous and funny tale of friendships and new beginnings. This is the perfect feel-good story for all fans of Maddie Please, Dawn French and Caroline James.Readers love Judy Leigh: 'Judy Leigh's great strength is her wonderful, full-of-life characters. I especially love how so many of her starring roles in her novels go to strong women, and particularly older women... Highly recommended.''You can only love the beautiful writing style of Judy Leigh. It's light, fresh and breezy, She gives aging a sparkle, that doesn't make it seem scary but something to embrace and enjoy to the maximum.''Judy Leigh has become one of my favourite authors. Her writing is amazing. I have read most of her novels and look forward to the next one.''I hope you too pick up this heart warming, fun filled frolicking story of friendship and love. It is well worth a read.''As usual, Judy Leigh excelled at imagining her characters, and it was a treat to follow their adventures. Of course, I don't include spoilers, but I can certainly promise a story filled with the very best kind of people, love, and a reminder that age is just a state of mind.'Praise for Judy Leigh: 'I loved this book. It's funny, emotional and a book that fills you with determination not to let life pass you by as you get older.' Jennifer Bohnet'Brilliantly funny, emotional and uplifting' Miranda Dickinson'Lovely . . . a book that assures that life is far from over at seventy' Cathy Hopkins bestselling author of The Kicking the Bucket List'Brimming with warmth, humour and a love of life... a wonderful escapade' Fiona Gibson
Secret Plans
Tami Knight started drawing cartoons about climbers when the glaciers were a lot larger. C'mon in and enjoy Knight's rats and humans as they get up to mountains of mischief! This book may even help you re-work yer primal scream!And, dang, Jon Krakauer wrote the forward.
Secret Plans
Tami Knight started drawing cartoons about climbers when the glaciers were a lot larger. C'mon in and enjoy Knight's rats and humans as they get up to mountains of mischief! This book may even help you re-work yer primal scream!And, dang, Jon Krakauer wrote the forward.
Picasso's Piebald Perspectives
This isn't only a book for 'horsey' types. Not in the least. It's for anyone who can appreciate life seasoned with occasional romance, seen through the the sardonic eyes of Willows Picasso, a black and white Gypsy Cob pony, whose two-leg I am. Picasso IS female, to be clear. I didn't choose her name, and as it's considered bad form to change it, I haven't. She never had rose-tinted specs, though they would have concealed her odd eyes. One is normal horsey-hued brown-ish, the other a disconcerting azure. There are no flies on her, (or rarely, as she can flick them off with her luxuriant black and white tail) and she tolerates the two-legged human race with smug disdain. As always, Picasso reflects balefully upon the feeble ineptitudes of her particular two-leg (still nursing distant memories of nerveless pony-mad teens) with whom she lives, in the Scottish Highlands In her second collection, Picasso allows glimpses into relationships with others of her kind, particularly White Eye, aka 'Ollie' (Bryn Heulog Popalong), with whom she has been destined to have unexpected reunions throughout a decade. Tragic love didn't end with 'Brief Encounter'...
Broke My Funny Bone
Collecting the best of Ted Rancont's humorous work, this collection of short stories, dialogues, and essays is sure to raise a laugh.
The Only One Laughing
Being the second son of a clan leader is no joke-you spend your whole life being the official afterthought. Elko, our hairy hero, dreams of leaving his "backup" role behind and living with the humans he's spied on his whole life. Can he escape his humorless family and its obligations to find that special spark of humanity in Portland, or will the last laugh be on him? Ride along on a light-hearted and endearing romp through the weirdness of Portland, Oregon and the wilderness of finding oneself. A love letter to the biggest city in her life, Rebecka Ratcliffe's third novel is a poignant exploration of longing and belonging. Funny, complicated, and oh-so-human, this story will charm you as Elko chooses his own path through friendship, laughter, and newfound purpose. Praise for The Only One Laughing "Have you ever loved something so much you couldn't simply embrace it but share it with the world? This is what Rebecka Ratcliffe has accomplished in her big-hearted, beautifully realized novel of Portland, a city she brings fully to life with outsider spirit, insider knowledge, and all-around humor, populated with the lost souls, found voices, and magical connections that are sure to find a beloved home in readers' hearts."-Francesco Marciuliano, NYT Bestselling Author of I Could Pee on This and many others
The Town
A gently comic novel, richly evocative and wittily crafted. The Town takes the reader to a simpler time and place. A comfortable, simple place just beyond memory and imagination, but in some ways more real than the world outside the front door. Here three lifelong friends spend their days drinking beer, eating sausages for tea and enjoying each other's company. When a retired city dweller moves into the town, the three, rather unexpectedly, take him under their collective wing. There follows a tale of mateship, mirth and mishaps, but even here in a place where every day is much like the last, the unexpected can still happen. A heart-warming yarn from a fictional Southwest English seaside town. A life doesn't need to be full of high adventure, international travel and the trappings of success to be thoroughly enjoyable. Many a recent retiree, bored with TV repeats and the shallow one-upmanship of the suburb, will dream of such a retirement after turning the last page.
Dad Joke Alert!
You have heard of dad jokes; well, I have compiled a long list of these jokes to entertain even the simplest of minds. Dad jokes are notorious for being an eye-rolling experience, but here the goal is to have you rolling around on the floor laughing out loud.Jokes like, "What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?" or "How does a rooster kiss his girlfriend?"You can find the answers inside!Did you know I once had a fish that could break dance? Only for 20 seconds and only for one time!There are even a few cheeky ones that may be rated for adults. These days, cell phones are used in the bathroom, but whatever happened to that one book that everyone would grab and turn the pages for a giggle while taking care of business?Well, here it is!What's the difference between pink and purple? The grip!The eye-rolling jokes that have long been forgotten-everyone could use a good joke at some point.Ever wondered why bicycles can't stand on their own? Because they are two tired!Or how about this one: Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!If you ever need a good laugh, remember that my long list of dad jokes is here to provide just that. Whether it's a classic one-liner or a clever pun, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
Short Stories to Amuse, Baffle, and Educate
Some things in life are just inexplicable. On top of that, they can't be explained. What this book does is captivatingly capture your imagination in unimaginable and preposterous ways. Imagine that while you are imagining an image of your own imagination. As you read this book of short stories, poems, and cartoons, you will all too quickly realize that the author's imagination has run totally amok. Some may say it's run aground or hit a reef and broken its keel. You must be warned, however. Some of the stories may be a challenge "two" read so you may have to read them twice or thrice to fully appreciate some of the subtler humor; i.e., subtle humor is humor that is below or under the "tle".
A Perfect Year?
1990s England. Ali and Caroline are neighbours but not friends in leafy Upley Rising. Ali battles with money troubles and multiple children while Caroline has rock star connections and always gets what she wants. Then there's respectable Robert, the third neighbour, whose life takes an unexpected turn.Every December Ali, Caroline and Robert write up their year's news into cheery round robin newsletters for everyone they know. What a wonderful year it's been: Charles has been promoted twice, Max is the school orchestra's top tuba player and Clementine's child modelling career progression is meteoric. But what about the longstanding local murder mystery? Or the strange goings on at Upley Rising's 300 year-old summer festival?Whose letters can you really believe?
Chaos on the Canal
Passengers on a luxury vacation take a cocktail in one hand and matters into the other in this bonkers tale about a trip that goes awry for all involved, tragically for some. This is the latest nonsense from Gene Upchurch about mostly decent people who lose their minds as they go overboard to ensure obnoxious people get what they deserve with predictably calamitous consequences.
Little Bits of Baby
Patrick Gale's LITTLE BITS OF BABY is a charming, witty novel of love, possibility and life in crisis - 'Richly comic, affectionate and perceptive' Mail on Sunday Eight years ago, Robin fled from his family, friends, and entire life, to suffer a complete breakdown in an island monastery. Now he's reconnecting with those he left behind: his mother and father, with their own small secrets, and Jake and Candida, both of whom were impossibly close to Robin when he disappeared. But while the people he abandoned have missed him, Robin finds that everything has changed. He alone can decide what he will do in this new world of resentment, possibility and triumphant love.
Equal
I had a thought over fifty years ago to have chips installed in a person's head to give a person all the information they would ever need and have everyone have the same advantage. So John and Diane both proceed through life, always trying to get an advantage over the other. All in good fun until...
Stewards of Octarma and the Cosmic Realm of the Gas Giants
Saving the galaxy is tough... Even tougher if you can't be bothered. Felicity Milarum, the dictator CEO of a galaxy-wide children's entertainment empire, recalls her two most hapless employees - her twin brothers - when the siblings are sent a mysterious package from their missing father. It contains an Amulet, a message of impending doom, and a complaint about a service droid. Jonathan and Nickolas have been given a fool's quest to finish what their father had started.Together with Xymod, an inscrutable Octarma collector; Prince Techno, a drain on patience and habitual thief; M011y, the ship's computer with a penchant for a punt; and Nerada, their adopted sister of unknown origins; they set out - with various levels of enthusiasm - to find three missing Shards, that, when infused into the Amulet, will create a weapon that just may save the Qurkition galaxy.But it seems half the galaxy is out to stop them, including an ethically challenged weapons merchant and his family, two law enforcement agents with questionable culinary skills, and a couple of highly trained assassins. And then there is the small matter of an entire city full of foul-smelling giants led by a loopy king.But all these roadblocks seem trivial compared to the threat posed by the evil and enigmatic Zarnegy, who, legend has it, wield far greater power than anything else in the galaxy.
November Hunt
Hunting season exposes deadly secrets in a briskly chilling rom-com mystery from Amazon Charts bestselling and Edgar Award-nominated author Jess Lourey.It's cold enough to freeze a shadow when Battle Lake local Tom Kicker braves the killer temps to bag a deer--only to get shot to death by his best buddy, Clive, in a hunting accident. Tragic, yes. Accident? Mira James, just a few weeks into working toward her PI license, isn't so convinced.Neither is Tom's daughter, who urges Mira to investigate. Why would a forty-year friendship come to a dead end on a frost-scorched landscape? Then Mira uncovers a decades-old scandal that suggests the town's good old boys were up to some very bad business. Secret by buried secret, Mira is getting closer to solving the mystery.In the meantime, she has sweet and sexy Johnny Leeson to keep her warm. Unfortunately, hunting season isn't over in Battle Lake, and Mira is next in the crosshairs.Revised edition: This edition of November Hunt includes editorial revisions.
Die Lethal
When a new drug is about to hit the L.A. market, it's up to two cops (and one more cop in a shoehorned-in sub-plot) to stop the drugs, take down the bad guys, and try not to get killed... or die trying. When Detective John Expendable is killed in the line of duty, Detective Reginald P. Murtow is forced to take on a new partner, Marvin Ricks, a suicidal live-wire with a list of misdemeanours as long as his mullet. Can they take down the dealers and the huge conglomerate importing this new drug? Will Ricks get the girl, who most probably works for the bad guy? Why does Ricks have a slight Australian accent? Is Murtow too old for this? Meanwhile, NYPD bald-guy, Detective Jim McLeod, is in town to take down the millionaire businessman who seduced his ex-wife, emptied the McLeod bank accounts, sold his kids to traffickers, and threw his dog, Wicksy, in the canal. Big mistake because... McLeod loved the hell out of that dog. Will these plots somehow converge in a clever way? Find out in DIE LETHAL
Trial by Levity
In a quiet corner of the 9th dimension, a little planet called Bub drifts casually through space. The collection of stories about the people of Bub and their strange world is called Bublore, and it is being written now. "Trial by Levity" is the story of Puddle, a newsey in the big city, who prides himself on keeping his ears and eyes open. Puddle sells newspapers for the Nineday News, and he's trained and organized a crew of his fellow "school orphan" street urchins into a record-breaking newsey sales force. At the same time, Puddle and company are open to opportunity, and it isn't always on the up-and-up. A string of such opportunity lands Puddle with a pile of money and a miniature statue, but wraps him in a web of counterfeit bills, blackmail and mistaken identity.This all takes place against a backdrop of the weird physics of Bub, where Spontaneous Blizzards crush unwary people who are out-of-doors in the pitch black Shadow, and Gravity Anomalies can double one's weight, or cast one bodily completely off the planet. Clod and Dirt's monkeyfish scheme, the Grassway Little Finger, crooked Flint Fault's shady pawn shop, Puddle saving the Bank, and the big counterfeiting case are all somehow connected. When the dust has finally settled, Puddle didn't get the girl -- but the girl may have got Puddle.
Witches Abroad
"One of our greatest fantasists, and beyond a doubt the funniest."--George R. R. Martin A trio of witchy godmothers discovers just how difficult it can be to prevent a servant girl from marrying a prince and save a kingdom in this brilliantly funny Discworld novel from internationally bestselling author Sir Terry Pratchett.Once upon a time there was a fairy godmother named Desiderata who had a good heart, a wise head, and poor planning skills--which, unfortunately, left the Princess Emberella in the care of her other (not quite so good nor wise) godmother. Now it's up to Discworld's witches Magrat Garlick, Granny Weatherwax, and Nanny Ogg to hop on broomsticks and make for far-distant Genua to stop a wedding--to ensure a servant girl does not marry the Prince.It's a journey plagued with detours, including the occasional vampire, werewolf, and falling house (they are witches and this is a fairy tale). But the trouble really begins once these reluctant foster-godmothers arrive in Genua to torpedo this particularly enchanting "happily ever after," especially when it comes with glass slippers and a power-hungry fairy godmother who has made destiny an offer it can't refuse. As even these clever crones discover, it's hard to resist a good tale, even when the fate of a kingdom depends on it.The Discworld novels can be read in any order, but Witches Abroad is the third book in the Witches series.The Witches collection in order: Equal RitesWyrd SistersWitches AbroadLords and LadiesMaskeradeCarpe Jugulum
Where Wolves Wait
Botched apple pie isn't the only thing that goes wrong at Fun Warriors Ranch. Loud snorers and a skillful predator also plague Rae Greyson.At a neglected campsite, it's not all s'mores as Rae fights for her wits and morals among testy coworkers, creepy rangers, and tarot cards. Plus, Bash, her nephew, decides to commence his new obsession, hunting werewolves. Meanwhile, her unrequited flame, Stone, secretly arrives, attempting to stop a murder. With the gang all here, they find things not only go bump in the night, but they also howl. Who will make it out alive? Who will succumb to the hungry jaws of a night creature? Only the tolling bell knows.Those who relish sleeping under snarling stars will enjoy Where Wolves Wait: A Rae Greyson Mystery. Sink those fangs into this voraciously amusing adventure with its myriad twists and threatening claws around a campfire. Bark with laughter while discovering BW Hoff's quick wit and entertaining story-telling style.
Uncle Willie’s Woollen Sweater
Elijah is hosting Thanksgiving, even though his monstrous relatives are ready to ruin the special occasion. But when a dead body is found the holiday is cancelled - and Elijah couldn't be happier. Except his family won't leave. They want to catch the killer - so Elijah has to weave a thick fabric of lies, much like the sweater knitted by his Uncle Willie.Like a handmade woollen sweater, this holiday short story makes murderous family drama feel almost comfortable.
Pity the Reluctant Fan
When Pity is invited to go with her boyfriend on a bus tour of East Coast Major League Baseball parks, she is reluctant to go because she doesn't like bus rides and worse, she dislikes sports. But she agrees to go along to spend quality time with Mike and explore the exciting big cities.Unfortunately, Mike must leave the tour for a family emergency, leaving Pity to attend the games surrounded by extreme sports fans. When curious misfortune befalls several people on the tour, Pity senses foul play. With something more interesting to focus on than the games, she goes to bat for her new sport-loving friends and investigates her suspicions. In her typical style, Pity slides into trouble everywhere she goes, often causing more problems than she fixes.Do we pity the miserable spectator, or will she hit a home run and solve the mystery?
The World Happiness Organisation
THEY HOLD THE FILES. YOU HOLD THE KEY.Retirement in the South of France isn't all it's cracked up to be. After fifty years of marriage, the only thing Mavis and Jeff agree on is that it's too late to change. Enter the maverick and flirtatious R矇my, sent to prove them wrong. When he asks the Toulouse Club for English Pensioners to help oversee clinical trials for a revolutionary happiness drug, little does anyone know he is a World Happiness Organisation (WHO) agent, armed with their files.But R矇my also faces a dilemma. The new drug is part of a covert scheme to monetise happiness, violating the Organisation's founding principles, and his boss is about to find out ...Fans of feel good fiction books will enjoy this witty, thought-provoking tale. In challenging a cast of quirky characters to define true happiness, The World Happiness Organisation invites readers to do the same. A speculative, modern-day tale of personal empowerment, it is an ideal what if novel for fans of The Midnight Library or The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry.
Love Is Murder
Karrie is doomed to be ghosted by every guy she dates. They go out, have a good time, and then he disappears without so much as a text.Zoe should have been an investigative journalist. When Karrie finds a new date, Zoe digs up the dirt. To spare her friend the heartache, she handles things herself.Karrie thinks she's cursed. Zoe knows she deserves better. And any guy who thinks he can dick around with Karrie finds out just how far Zoe will go to protect her friend.
Novel Notes
"Novel Notes" by Jerome K. Jerome: a humorous, satirical exploration of literary life. In this delightful collection of essays, Jerome K. Jerome takes readers on a witty and insightful journey through the world of literature. Published in 1893, "Novel Notes" offers a unique blend of humor and social commentary, capturing the essence of the literary scene in Victorian England. Through a series of anecdotes and observations, Jerome provides a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of authors, publishers, and critics. With his trademark wit and charm, he skewers the pretensions and foibles of the literary elite while celebrating the joy of storytelling. From the struggles of aspiring writers to the absurdities of literary fashions, Jerome tackles a range of topics with his characteristic humor and insight. Whether recounting his own misadventures in the publishing world or offering tongue-in-cheek advice to aspiring novelists, Jerome entertains and enlightens in equal measure. "Novel Notes" is a timeless classic that continues to delight readers with its sharp wit and astute observations. Jerome's mastery of satire and keen eye for human folly make this book a must-read for anyone who loves literature, laughter, and a good dose of wit.
Zoey Is Too Drunk for This Dystopia
Zoey is Too Drunk for This Dystopia is the latest installment in New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin's thrilling Zoey Ashe sci-fi series. Zoey Ashe wakes up every day feeling like she's trying to steer a battleship while tied to the propeller. The twenty-three-year-old heiress to a criminal empire is navigating a futuristic world of high-tech liars and cutthroats, forced to learn the rules of a devious game she never asked to play. Now she's facing a crisis that is both bigger and stranger than all that came before: The gleaming new city of Tabula Ra$a is hosting its massive annual music festival, which every year precedes the equally massive annual drunken riot. This is all organized by Zoey's people, including the riot. As her advisors explain, the citizens need a little controlled chaos now and then. Zoey, however, fears the chaos will not stay controlled for long. When a horrific crime is broadcast live on an all-seeing social network, Zoey and her team suspect a carefully-stage hoax arranged by one of the Tabula Ra$a's shadowy power players. But in a city in which lies are always served in layers, even that explanation will prove far too simple.
An Open-Eyed Conspiracy An Idyl of Saratoga
"An Open-Eyed Conspiracy: An Idyl of Saratoga" by William Dean Howells is a novel set in the social milieu of Saratoga during the 19th century, blending romance with elements of intrigue and social commentary. The story unfolds in Saratoga, a setting known for its high society and social dynamics. Central to the narrative is a romance that develops amidst a backdrop of a subtle conspiracy. The novel delves into the complex relationships between characters and explores themes of social class and wealth, providing a nuanced view of society's expectations and moral dilemmas. Howells examines the interplay between personal ambitions and social conventions, portraying the characters' interactions within the constraints of their social environment. The novel's intrigue centers around a conspiracy that adds an element of suspense, while the idyl of Saratoga serves as a canvas for cultural observation and commentary. Through its realistic depiction of 19th-century society, "An Open-Eyed Conspiracy" offers insights into the intricacies of marriage, social class, and moral choices, making it a rich exploration of romance and societal norms within a specific cultural and historical context.
The Numen of Banda
"The Numen of Banda" plunges readers into the heart of magical Kenya, where a battle of wits between African traditional beliefs and post-colonial Western education unfolds. At its centre stands Sosh, an iron-willed matriarch and Mau Mau war veteran, a stickler for traditional beliefs and customs. She finds her match in Benjo, her beloved grandson, a child prodigy and advocate of modern Western ideals who challenges these very traditions with his maverick views.Their inseparable bond is tested when a series of mysterious misfortunes, attributed to malevolent juju, shatters their fragile reality. Desperate to restore normalcy, Sosh turns to the mystical Numen of Banda, a legendary healer hidden deep within the Banda Salama Forest. As ancestral spirits intervene, Sosh and Benjo embark on a perilous journey, navigating the treacherous waters between honouring their past and embracing an uncertain future.Set against the backdrop of a rapidly changing Kenya, this richly woven narrative explores the clash between two generations, the power of belief, and the unbreakable family bonds. "The Numen of Banda" offers a mesmerising glimpse into a world where tradition and change collide, and where the boundary between reality and the supernatural blurs.
A Furious Wind Over Zion
After a humiliating and costly divorce, best-selling spy paperback writer Milton Goldfarb desperately needs to escape the public eye. He gratefully accepts when a friend offers him a teaching job at Bar Ilan University in Israel.Urgently needing another best-selling book, Milton comes up with his best-ever plot idea: what if a disgruntled Israeli tried to assassinate the Prime Minister of Israel? It's the perfect rescue mission for Milton's dashing alter-ego, Jack Steckman. Milton reasons that his new writing students can help him work out the plot. Then, one of Milton's fanatical students assassinates the Prime Minister.Broke and defeated, Milton finds himself behind bars as the fall guy for shadowy figures in the Shabak and Mossad. How can he possibly prevail against such mysterious and determined forces? Milton and his eccentric circle of friends must find crucial evidence and solve the mystery, or Milton's jail stay will be permanent.
Mission
"These new... ancient Bulgarians," Slavyanski began hesitantly, still not clear on the terminology. "It seems to me that we should take steps to integrate them. This will have a positive impact on the demographic situation.""And on your ratings!" the professor added slyly. "Just think, thousands of new voters!""No, that's not quite what I had in mind," the president said, hurt. "I don't look at people that way. For me, they're human beings above all else."Yeah, sure you don't, thought Dokuzanov. If you ask me, you don't care about anything else. If only you did!The descendants of the ancient Bulgarians have been discovered! The question is who will they vote for?Through a string of absurd and comical situations Popov transports the reader into an exotic world of adventure and love affairs, a world of songs, shamanic incantations and dances on the thin ice of big politics. But beneath the starry dome of the vast steppe, the eternal questions remain: who are we, where do we come from, why are we here?
I’m Starting to Worry about This Black Box of Doom
THE INSTANT USA TODAY BESTSELLER A standalone darkly humorous thriller set in modern America's age of anxiety, by New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin.Outside Los Angeles, a driver pulls up to find a young woman sitting on a large black box. She offers him $200,000 cash to transport her and that box across the country, to Washington, DC. But there are rules: He cannot look inside the box.He cannot ask questions.He cannot tell anyone.They must leave immediately.He must leave all trackable devices behind. As these eccentric misfits hit the road, rumors spread on social media that the box is part of a carefully orchestrated terror attack intended to plunge the USA into civil war. The truth promises to be even stranger, and may change how you see the world.
Marigolds in Boxes
The founder of Chanceville, Indiana, Arnold Chance, had planted only marigolds in his window boxes since the town was incorporated in 1845. Legend has it he liked the no-nonsense colors of those flowers. The tradition continued long after Arnold died in 1908. His flower boxes got a fresh coat of plain tan paint on every year's last day of March. The citizens of Chanceville, Indiana, could set their calendars by this. So many people admired the cheeriness of the gold petals with their russet tips that they began planting marigolds in their flower boxes. And that's how Chanceville became known as the "Home of Marigolds in Boxes." Once in a while, a few people would get a wild hair and decide to branch out and plant begonias or petunias. Then they would tire of the stubborn marigold planters driving by and shouting, "What's the matter, marigolds not good enough for ya?" That harassment would drive them right back to planting marigolds the following year. For the most part, the citizens of Chanceville lived in peace until 1950 five years after World War II had ended in 1945. That is where our story begins. This does not mean all was as sunny as the brightly colored marigolds in boxes dotted all over town. As you will discover, even the smallest towns can have their dark underbellies. There are silly feuds, secret agendas, and even murders that may come to light as our story unfolds.
The Second Chance Bus Stop
" heart-warming, intelligent novel about finding your people." --Becky Alexander, author of Someone Like You Edith has Alzheimer's. The idea that she will someday forget her son, her life, even her self, plagues her constantly. So there is something important she must do beforehand: she has to find Sven, the love of her life she was supposed to meet on a bus bench twenty-seven years ago and run away with. Her son, Blade, is struggling to keep an eye on her. His mother's full-time caregiver, he resents the fact that he gave up most of his life to look after her. But what wouldn't he do for his mother? Track down her decades-old flame before her mind fails her? Sure, he can do that. Sophia is fiercely working to keep her business afloat. Her uncle left his flower shop to her and her brothers after he died, and she needs to show her family that the business is worth saving. So when an opportunity comes along that takes her all over Sweden, she can't say no. While Edith is desperately trying to hold on to her memories, she discovers friendship as she sits daily at the bus stop. While Blade is out looking for Sven, he learns to embrace his relationship with his mother more fully. While Sophia is fighting to keep her dream alive, she comes to terms with the therapies that were forced upon her in response to her autism diagnosis. Life is happening all around them, and like in life, there's always still good to be found.
Ruff
Rod Carley is back with another theatrical odyssey packed with an unforgettable cast of Elizabethan eccentrics. It's a madcap world more modern than tomorrow where gender is what a person makes of it (no matter the story beneath their petticoats or tights). Will Shakespeare is having a very bad year. Suffering from a mid-life crisis, a plague outbreak, and the death of the ancient Queen, Will's mettle is put to the test when the new King puts his witch-burning hobby aside to announce a national play competition that will determine which theatre company will secure his favour and remain in business. As he struggles to write a Scottish supernatural thriller, Will faces one ruff and puffy obstacle after another including a young rival punk poet and his activist-wife fighting for equality and a woman's right to tread the boards. Will and his band of misfits must ensure not only their own survival, but that of England as well. The stage is set for an outrageous and compelling tale of ghosts, ghostwriting, writer's block, and the chopping block. Ruffly based on a true story.
Bowled Over
What options were there left open to me? I had always played sport, well almost always, up until about ten years ago when sciatica finally made me realise I could no longer chase a football around a sports hall or a tennis ball about a court. Nowadays, my level of fitness seemed to be determined not by how far or fast I could run, but more by my ability to pick the soap up from the shower floor or painlessly put on my socks in the morning. I was in my early sixties, but after a decade of inactivity and approaching early retirement, I was still harbouring a desire to play some sport. In mid-April on a stroll into town, I noticed a small poster on a garden gate advertising an open morning at the local bowls club. I mentioned it to my wife Dolly, as she had been going on for years about us joining something together, so it seemed a fair compromise; despite never having any interest in sport, she was rather keen at the prospect. It all seemed rather appealing, what could be more English than playing bowls on a sunny summer's afternoon. Yes, it seemed perfect ... what could possibly go wrong?
