Love Mocks a Limp Dick
Lance Majestik, age 59, has had to live his entire life with a three-inch embarrassment he calls Little Lance, a gutless traitor who goes limp and useless at the first whiff of real pussy. Intentionally keeping himself out of romantic situations for the past 25 years, Lance finally dips his toe back in the dating pool, but with the wrong woman. His inevitable "failure to launch" causes an enraged Lori to go on the offensive to publicly shame poor Lance. Although humiliated, Lance is also angry enough to fight back, and the war of the sexes is on. Throwing every scrap of his dignity away is just part of the price a much maligned guy has to pay for some semblance of perceived victory. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Donald W. Desaulniers is a retired Canadian lawyer who has penned more than 75 novels, most of which poke fun at the legal profession that everyone loves to loathe.
Say Hello to My Little Friend
Finalist for the Kirkus Prize Scarface meets Moby Dick in Say Hello to My Little Friend--"a masterclass in pace and precision...brilliant" (Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah, National Book Award Finalist of Chain Gang All Stars) about a young man's attempt to capitalize on his mother's murky legacy--a story steeped in Miami's marvelous and sinister magic. Failed Pitbull impersonator Ismael Reyes--you can call him Izzy--might not be the Scarface type, but why should that keep him from trying? Growing up in Miami has shaped him into someone who dreams of being the King of the 305, with the money, power, and respect he assumes comes with it. After finding himself at the mercy of a cease-and-desist letter from Pitbull's legal team and living in his aunt's garage, Izzy embarks on an absurd quest to turn himself into a modern-day Tony Montana. When Izzy's efforts lead him to the tank that houses Lolita, a captive orca at the Miami Seaquarium, she proves just how powerful she and the water surrounding her really are--permeating everything from Miami's sinking streets to Izzy's memories to the very heart of the novel itself. What begins as Izzy's story turns into a super-saturated fever dream as sprawling and surreal as the Magic City, one as sharp as an iguana's claws, and as menacing as a killer whale's teeth. As the truth surrounding Izzy's boyhood escape from Cuba surfaces, the novel reckons with the forces of nature, with the limits and absence of love, and with the dangers of pursuing a tragic inheritance. "Blistering, hilarious, [and] tragic" (The Miami Herald), Say Hello to My Little Friend is Jennine Cap籀 Crucet's most daring, heartbreaking, and fearless book yet.
What Is Wrong with You?
"The genuinely hilarious Paul Rudnick" (Gary Shteyngart, New York Times bestselling author) returns with a witty, insightful new novel about the joy, delight, pain, and absurdity of love in an age of cynicism, divorce, and digital madness. A tech billionaire and the flight attendant he's marrying. A TV superhero who used to be married to the flight attendant. A Manhattan book editor and the sensitivity associate who got him fired. A twenty-three-year-old wild child prodigy who's perhaps the savior of American literature. A vengeful Arkansas sheriff who sells a vitamin-enriched, ten-pounds-off-today demulsifier. A Wall Street bro who raps on TikTok. Two dentists--possibly stalking each other. What do these people have in common? Invited or not, they're all headed to the most anticipated destination wedding ever, on the billionaire's private island, to seek romance, to cause mayhem, and to figure out everyone else's futures and maybe even their own. Find out what happens in Paul Rudnick's heartfelt new novel, which dares to pose the question essential to anyone who's ever been in love: What Is Wrong with You?
Rainbow's End
Joanie O'Hara and Rosalind Powell, widowed sisters in their seventies, decided to move to Rainbow's End Retirement Community in Pelican Key, Florida to be together at this stage of their lives.Pelican Key is a perfect location to retire, since it is only about twenty miles north of Key West, where the sisters go often for a day's outing or a night of fun at one of the local bars. Even if Joanie and Roz are in their seventies, they still enjoy the night life. This is especially true when their friend Burton, who was once on Broadway in New York City, entertains the entire bar by standing on the table in his stilettos and mini skirt, singing for all he's worth. Among their other friends are Joe, a retired PI with three fingers on one hand, Lois and Morty, a couple in their eighties that carry on like teenagers, and McGhee and Ida, sisters who are new to the neighborhood and finding themselves the target of ugly vandalism. These friends enjoy evenings on the beach smoking an occasional cigar and drinking margaritas.But, not all is rosy in Rainbow's End, and the sisters are beginning to question their decision to settle there. The Hammonds, who have moved in next door, are giving the sisters uneasy feelings, especially when the couple begins selling Caliente Honey, a miracle elixir for seniors. When the residents in Rainbow start going off the deep end, and numerous burglaries start to occur that no one seems to be able to solve, Joanie and Roz find themselves in the middle of it all.The story will keep you laughing and smiling as you wend your way through the new life of these two sisters as they learn to live and enjoy their later years in a wacky retirement community.
Spark
Hilarious, strange, and moving in equal measure--a Japanese multi-million-copy smash hit about the struggles of a young manzai duo of stand-up comedians Perfect for readers of strange, funny Japanese fiction, from Sayaka Murata's Convenience Store Woman to Emi Yagi's Diary of a Void "A whip-smart tale that'll prove impossible to put down" - Vogue Tokunaga is a young comedian struggling to make a name for himself. He meets the older Kamiya, who is either a crazy genius or perhaps just crazy, and who agrees to take Tokunaga under his wing if he writes his biography. Kamiya's indestructible confidence inspires Tokunaga, but it also makes him doubt not just the limits of his own talent, but his dedication to manzai comedy--a Japanese form of comedy involving a duo, one partner playing a more serious character, the other playing the fool. A novel about comedy that's as moving and thoughtful as it is funny, and written by an author who himself found fame as one half of a manzai comedy duo, Spark is already a sensation in Japan, where it won the prestigious Akutagawa Prize, has sold more than 3 million copies, has been adapted for manga, stage, film, and a hit Netflix show, which is available now in the US. Offering a hilarious and poignant look at the unique world of Japanese manzai comedy, Spark is also a story about art and friendship, about countless bizarre drunken conversations, and about how far it's acceptable to go for a laugh.
The Station Philosophers' Club
The self-styled Station Philosophers meet when it suits them in the brasserie in Gare Bordeaux Saint-Jean.There's William the translator whose head is almost in the ether and whose feet are not quite on the ground. He's in love with Clara, a student at the Conservatoire.And there are Otto the ex-train-driver, Alice the yoga teacher, Gwen who worked on a sheep-farm, Steph the scientist, Sean the Irish priest turned army veteran, and now, the waiter, Alex.They all have stories up their sleeves, mostly about random events in their lives.One day William buys the wrong hat...
Mama kommt!
Victor Bl羹thgen (1844/1920) war ein deutscher Dichter und Schriftsteller. Aus dem Buch: "Morgen Schatz! sagt er und legt ein Paket Sch羹lerschreibhefte auf den Tisch. Vor allen Dingen... Sie sitzt am N瓣htische beim Fenster und stickt an einer Decke, altdeutsch auf Kaffeesack, im bequemen, zierlichen, bordeauxfarbenen Morgenschlafrock, und sie richtet l瓣chelnd den Kopf hoch, auf dem noch das Morgenh瓣ubchen mit roten B瓣ndern sitzt, l瓣?t die Stickerei in den Scho? fallen und wartet, bis er ihr K繹pfchen zwischen beide H瓣nde nimmt und sie herzhaft auf den Mund k羹?t..."
Happy Bloody Christmas
Don't miss the perfect Christmas present for yourself (or for that best friend who would definitely help you hide a body...)---------------------Anna's Christmas Eve To Do List: 1. Wrap the kids' presents​2. Peel the potatoes ​3. Get rid of the dead body?!Hungover and exhausted after her family's annual party, all Anna Johnson wants for Christmas is to finish her to-do list and finally sit down with the world's biggest glass of wine.But when she stumbles across a dead body in her larder, her plans are well and truly buggered.A mysterious death in her home really is the last thing she needs, but with her judgemental in-laws arriving in less than twenty-four hours, turning her house into a crime scene is not an option. If she's going to save Christmas, it's up to Anna to find out what the hell's gone on. Oh - and figure out what to do with the body before one of the kids finds it.And you thought burning the turkey was the worst that could happen... ---------------------READERS LOVE HAPPY BLOODY CHRISTMAS!'Had me in fits of laughter, tears streaming down my face!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Will be going in everyone's stockings this Christmas!'⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Engaging and quirky in the very best way' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'A must read for Winter 2024!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'I was absorbed from the very first page' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'I have never laughed so much while reading a book!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'So fresh, exciting, funny and intelligent!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Kept me guessing until the end!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'An absolute riotous Christmas cracker!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'Motherland meets Agatha Christie....The funniest book I have read this year!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐'I would 100% recommend this book!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐AUTHORS LOVE HAPPY BLOODY CHRISTMAS!'An outrageously funny, festive romp which is as utterly wonderful as it is (Christmas) crackers!' MIKE GAYLE'A brilliantly written, hilarious whodunnit. Smart and very, very funny.' IAN MOORE'So funny, I'm annoyed I didn't write it!' GILL SIMS'This hilarious, sweary, cheerful whodunnit is a full-on festive romp that will make you laugh out loud.' ADELE PARKS FOR Platinum 'The perfect present for the friend who would help you hide a body!' CHRISSIE MANBY'Hilarious, festive and relatable. A total Christmas cracker!' FIONA LEITCH'So good, you should sack off Christmas dinner and read this instead!' HARPER FORD'A compulsive Christmas cake binge of a read - terrific!' J.M. HALL'Laugh a minute? More like laugh a second!' HANNAH HENDY'Hilarious with dollops of fun and a brilliant whodunnit!' JONATHAN WHITELAW'A five-star triumph!' ROSIE HANNIGAN'Chock-full of proper jokes!' ABIGAIL BURDESS
The Bogan Book Club
James Larwood's life is perfect - until a single mistake sees him lose everything. When James is released from prison, he is penniless and potentially homeless. Enter James' friend, Larry, who employs him as a cleaner and starts a factory Book Club to try and get his brother back on his feet. James expects to be lumped with a bunch of uneducated people, but comes to realize that this group of misfits are some of the warmest, funniest and most intelligent humans he has ever met. Can James claw back the life he once had?
Itching Against Ignorance
Something's rotten in the state of Denmark... or, Ohio.Something besides Sgt. Winnifred Pupperson's farts and whatever Mrs. Margot puts in her egg salad. Cynthia "Cyn" Sharp has been struggling to pick up the pieces... of her shattered coffee mug collection, the pile of applications Winnie destroyed for a replacement "intern" and what's left of her sanity.A plea for help to find a missing construction working stripper leads Cyn and Winnie down the rabbit hole of building, planning, and the mysteriously non-existent housing. Add Stella's concern about the health of her Special Ed students and there's no time for sleep.Not that she was doing that anyway.But the closer Cyn and Winnie come to finding out the answer, the farther they get from safety. The dynamic duo will stop at nothing to bring health and safety back to their community, even if it costs them everything.
Uttar Nunsense
Uttar has a not-so-secret crush on Andrina-the poetry-loving, starry-eyed girl who lights up the school. But when he stumbles upon a mysterious locket in his grandmother's attic, his life takes an unexpected turn. This locket has a mind of its own, transforming his innocent wishes into pure comedic chaos-think dramatic monologues straight out of classic novels, accidental emoji-filled love confessions, and with Jax, who is undeniably handsome and talented. As Uttar fumbles through magical mishaps, embarrassing blunders, and surprising moments of connection with Andrina, he realizes that winning her heart isn't about being perfect-it's about being himself. With the support of his quirky friends and a sprinkle of magic, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery, laughter, and young love. Brimming with humour, heart, and a dash of enchantment, Uttar NunSense is a feel-good tale about embracing your quirks, following your heart, and believing in the magic of being unapologetically you.
Lucky Duck
"I robbed a bank. I got away with it. It wasn't even that hard."Recent college graduate Joel Howard, former bench warmer for his small town college team, is optimistic about his future with his out-of-his-league girlfriend and a job prospect with a local insurance agency. But things don't work out the way he plans when his girlfriend dumps him and he remains stuck at his unfulfilling position at the local shoe store in the mall.Desperately seeking a change of pace from his father's unrelenting nagging, Joel hatches a plan to rob the mall's bank on the night of Black Friday, 1987.Joel has always been lucky, despite the current string of bad luck. Has his luck run out? Or will it return in time to get him out of trouble?Lucky Duck is a comedic crime novel perfect if you're looking for something with the flavor of a John Hughes film from those 80s and 90s tomes like Risky Business or Breakfast Club.
The Great Escape
Another laugh-out-loud story from the Sunday Times bestseller and author of Kindle sensation The Woman Who Ran Away from Everything. Hannah's getting cold feet, and needs a hen weekend to help her down the aisle - what could go wrong? Hannah's getting married... and has serious pre-wedding jitters. She adores Ryan but can't figure out how to fit into his grown-up, family-sized life. There's that fridge, for starters. That, too, is family-sized, with a gadget on the front that spits ice in her face. More alarming still are Ryan's children, Daisy, 10 and Josh, 13, who clearly don't relish the prospect of Hannah, a free-spirited greetings card illustrator, becoming their step-mum. So she fires off invitations to a hen weekend - just the ticket to get her into the marrying mood. Trouble is... New mum Sadie is leaving her twin babies for the very first time with their terrified dad... Lou is unaware that her long-term man Spike is desperate to bundle her onto that Glasgow-bound train so he can hot-foot it round to see his secret fling Miranda... And, unbeknown to the girls, Johnny, their sexy upstairs neighbour from their art college days, is still frequenting those haunts, desperately in need of a little magic to happen. Perfect for fans of Jill Mansell and Sophie Kinsella.
The Brookes Babes
The Brookes Babes dives into the chaotic world of early-2000s radio promotions, centred on the antics of Brookes Vibes in Oxford. The story follows Adam Banks's outrageous efforts to launch the "Brookes Babes" and the comedic misadventures of Carly Hemsworth, James Jenkins, and their colleagues. Set against the backdrop of GWR's infamous promotional culture, this fast-paced novel explores youthful ambition, corporate chaos, and the absurdity of workplace antics. It examines themes of ambition, gender dynamics, and self-discovery, all delivered with sharp wit and humour. Perfect for readers interested in media culture, workplace comedies, or nostalgic tales of the early 2000s.
