The Perfectly Imperfect Little Girl
Embrace your wild, precious, perfectly imperfect life!The Perfectly Imperfect Little Girl is a subversive adult storybook that flips the script on traditional tales. Through evidence-based insights like "pretending to be perfect is never worth the cost" and "pleasing others is not why we are truly loved", this book captures the real, relatable experiences of women choosing authenticity over approval. Written to make you laugh, cry, and say "f*ck yes!" It celebrates the messy truth of being human.Meet a little girl with a curl right in the middle of her forehead. Some days, she's up and dressed without a fuss; other days, she's frustrated, messy, and rebellious. Either way, she's learning that she's just fine as she is. Each page is a bold reminder that trying to be perfect isn't the answer-it's about being your unique self as you ask and answer the question that matters: "On whose terms and for whose benefit am I living my wild and precious life?"In The Perfectly Imperfect Little Girl, you'll discover: Raw, honest reflections on embracing both your shining and messy moments-and why neither your looks, your emotions, nor your mistakes define your worthA bold perspective on saying "no," owning your choices, and living unapologetically in your own skinLife-changing insights about shedding "good girl" expectations to build a life that's true to your wild, precious spiritThis isn't just another story-it's an invitation to find your voice, claim your worth, and celebrate what makes you uniquely you.Let's get started-shake off those 'good girl' beliefs, savor each page, and remember: we're just f*cking fine!
Some Hero
Romance, Comedy and SuperpowersIt should be a snap, right? When Jason unexpectedly acquires superpowers, he figures he has it made. He'll become a superhero, sweep Penny off her feet and earn a mint in endorsements. All while inspiring a great love of literature in his students and leading his pub trivia team to victory.But it turns out that being a hero is harder than he thinks. Even when he's "more powerful than a locomotive," it's hard to find locomotives that need stopping. And his powers offer him surprisingly little help in preparing his classes, impressing women or paying off his credit card bills.During his first year teaching high school English, Jason makes little progress in becoming a superhero. On the other hand, he learns some important lessons about love, teaching and the limits of using comics as a guide to life.
2nd Last Chance
'Darren has reached deeply into the very bottom of toilet humour.''iiieeeooo.'Humankind has one more chance, a second-last chance, to survive. We are in a lot of trouble if these zany characters are our last hope.Prison Planet accommodates the American crew, safely landing with all dubious passengers intact. An evil warden assumes the role of dictator for the planet's lifers. Crew 7 must escape the clutches of the warden and his hench . . . men/women/other. But who are the real criminals?The House of FILTH. Some still dealing with their own afflictions, the ex-psychiatric patients stumble upon an oasis on a new planet. The 'most powerful organisation in the universe' does not take kindly to strangers.In another world, on the isolated island of Retro-Tech, who or what is the unknown entity that has seized control? Climb aboard the realm-hopping transport with Arros Sole to get to the bottom of it.
I Inherited a Mixed Animal from Uncle Living in Woods
I Inherited a Mixed Animal from Uncle Living in Woods is a tale of hillbilly magical realism about the friendship that develops between a cranky fix-it man and the strange animal which fate and a mad scientist uncle drop in his lap. Young misanthrope Lemuel Washington is a self-semi-educated handyman/inventor in the village of Hmm, where he resides in mutual deterrence with his fortune-telling mayoral candidate sister Shane. His hermit uncle perishes in the Unconscious Forest under violently mystical circumstances and bequeaths Lemuel the animal in question. Lem is forced to caretake the inexplicable beast, root out its elusive origins, and safeguard it from its nemeses: the looming Strangitor, Mabel the mountain woman, and Sister Shane. Eventually Lemuel must decide if he will sell the animal, now the one and only thing he loves, in order to save the whole stinking world.
2nd Last Chance
'Darren has reached deeply into the very bottom of toilet humour.''iiieeeooo.'Humankind has one more chance, a second-last chance, to survive. We are in a lot of trouble if these zany characters are our last hope.Prison Planet accommodates the American crew, safely landing with all dubious passengers intact. An evil warden assumes the role of dictator for the planet's lifers. Crew 7 must escape the clutches of the warden and his hench . . . men/women/other. But who are the real criminals?The House of FILTH. Some still dealing with their own afflictions, the ex-psychiatric patients stumble upon an oasis on a new planet. The 'most powerful organisation in the universe' does not take kindly to strangers.In another world, on the isolated island of Retro-Tech, who or what is the unknown entity that has seized control? Climb aboard the realm-hopping transport with Arros Sole to get to the bottom of it.
Captcha This!
In 2015, J. W. Wood jacked in his day job and disappeared to his homestead two acres on an island off the coast of British Columbia - armed only with an axe, some tools and the determination to free himself. Captcha This!, the result of eight years invested in the middle of nowhere, spares no one: pompous investment bankers, vacuous fame-hunters, feudal tech overlords, invasive grammar-nazi software, government by bogus statistic and further denizens of today's digital abyss all receive a not-so-gentle skewering.In 2015, J.W. Wood jacked in his day job and disappeared. He went off to homestead two acres of island in rural British Columbia, Canada - armed only with an axe, some tools and the determination to free himself. Captcha This! focuses on our modern world as sieved through seven years of cutting firewood, growing veg, clearing bush and watching the world go by. These satires puncture the pomposity of investment bankers, the vacuity of fame and social media, feudal tech overlords, grammar-nazi software, government by bogus statistic and other denizens of today's digital abyss."J.W. Wood's stories evince a gift for the quotidian, employing brilliant conceits and mischevious turns of phrase which enrich the writing at every point. Capturing the frustration of curtailed lives and the grim horrors of the corporate world, Wood presents a meta-fictional universe in which the rich realise their folly and we control computers, not the other way round."-Julian Stannard, award-winning poet and author of The University of Bliss (Sagging Meniscus Press, USA, 2024)"Captcha This! pulls off a coup in eviscerating the system while not being vicious or cruel to any person or group." -Paul Halas, author of The Rights of Man And Fish
January Thaw
The discovery of a frozen stiff reveals old buried secrets in a witty and invigorating mystery from Amazon Charts bestselling and Edgar Award-nominated author Jess Lourey.It may be six below zero, but an ice-skating jaunt gets even more chilling for private investigator in training Mira James. She's just locked eyes with a frozen corpse floating under a sheet of ice.The man, a curious transient who's been researching local history, also rescued Mira and her best friend from a mugging the night before. His death is no accident, but it is a mystery. To solve it, Mira follows a trail leading to the alleged haunting of a historic museum and a centuries-old tragedy that has yet to claim its final victim.With a killer on the loose amid a freakish winter thaw, Mira is on thin ice. If she doesn't watch her back, she could be the next one to go under.Revised edition: This edition of January Thaw includes editorial revisions.
I Inherited a Mixed Animal from Uncle Living in Woods
I Inherited a Mixed Animal from Uncle Living in Woods is a tale of hillbilly magical realism about the friendship that develops between a cranky fix-it man and the strange animal which fate and a mad scientist uncle drop in his lap. Young misanthrope Lemuel Washington is a self-semi-educated handyman/inventor in the village of Hmm, where he resides in mutual deterrence with his fortune-telling mayoral candidate sister Shane. His hermit uncle perishes in the Unconscious Forest under violently mystical circumstances and bequeaths Lemuel the animal in question. Lem is forced to caretake the inexplicable beast, root out its elusive origins, and safeguard it from its nemeses: the looming Strangitor, Mabel the mountain woman, and Sister Shane. Eventually Lemuel must decide if he will sell the animal, now the one and only thing he loves, in order to save the whole stinking world.
A Foreign Plot
Englishman Charlie Funble is determined to build his dream house in Bulgaria. Willhe succeed, despite not knowing the language and exact location of his plot? Or, willhis dream fall apart in a series of farces?Simultaneously, he is supervising a loft conversion in London for an alcoholic anddysfunctional couple. A practical joke by one of his workmen convinces Sue Belcherand Dick Fruit their house is haunted. Their mischievous cleaner - Nelly - is keen tooffer and arrange an exorcism. But will it be the real thing?Meanwhile, the builder in Bulgaria goes AWOL and Charlie doesn't know how to gethim back! Will Charlie ever see his dream house built, and the ghostly loft conversioncompleted?
Quarter Life
Haze and his friends are new adult bachelors in San Francisco with a social life full of hilarious shenanigans. Despite their antics, his friends develop careers and romantic relationships while Haze struggles to find his place. One day, he feels overwhelmed, so he ditches work and watches Star Wars movies all day. He gets out of his funk after meeting a champagne-loving, athletic farm girl named Alex at the BottleRock music festival in Napa. Alex challenges Haze to a few hiking excursions in the northern California mountains, where he nearly wimps out of their relationship and returns to his bad habits, but instead, he has an epiphany and figures out a goal in life - to become a dad.He fails to find a connection with his plain-vanilla parents. At the same time, he develops a relationship with Alex's admirable father, Rick, who offers him a job with their family's walnut farming business in Capay Valley. After Haze and Alex return from a summer of travel to rambunctious weddings and reunions, he finally steps up, experiences walnut harvest first-hand, agrees to Rick's job offer, and proposes to her. After they wed, they go to Belize for an adventurous honeymoon, where he realizes how far he has come personally, but he still has questions about his path in life.Most of my story takes place in Northern California. The characters in Quarter Life are fun-loving sports fans, music aficionados, CrossFit athletes, avid snow skiers, and mediocre golfers. They get inspiration from the California outdoors and admire California food, wine, beer, and weed.
To the Hazel Wood
A handsome brooding newcomer wanders into the local pub in tiny Lough Croi and into the life of a feisty red-head from his past. But he's not the hero of the story, she is. Starry-eyed, wicked-tongued Maedbh Kelly sees the world with a bartender's insight as she struggles to lift from beige to brilliant, with the help of her family, her hilarious friends, her rowdy football team and an elderly soulmate. But when the irresistible Conal McNulty arrives, bringing secrets, lies and a history of violence, her world is thrown arse over elbow, reminding her that if trouble looks hard enough, it always finds you. The craic is mighty in this edge-of-your-seat novel set in a modern Ireland of ancient stone walls and green fields, where the past lives alongside the present. From a long-ago crime to a dangerous family showdown to an old cottage in a hazel wood, nothing can distract Maedbh from her sense of destiny, Never on to back down from a good fight - with strong words and a steady heart - she soon finds out what separates heartbreak from happily ever after. Full of comical twists and thrilling turns, To the Hazel Wood is a story about family and fate... true love and redemption... and the quintessential Irish creed of laughing in the face of calamity.
Trudi's Triumph
"The craziest, weirdest, funniest, spy spoof I've ever encountered."What's wrong with us Brits? Nothing that Trudi can't put right. A pre-teen feisty female like her can fix anything. Especially when she's teamed up with a crazy cat, a cantankerous parrot and an MI6 agent with a history of mental health issues.Unfortunately, reshaping the nation's destiny is a tad trickier than it looks. Plus, events and people have an annoying knack of going their own way, instead of doing what they're told.A drawback of being twelve is that there are one or two things in life left to learn after all. Not that she's the only one. Grownups in this story have a fair few shocks in store too. But are they delights or disasters? It's possible that the end of this story is really just a beginning ...
The AfterLife of Undead Ned
Has it ever felt like your partner is just dead weight when it comes to sharing domestic duties? This is the book for you. "The AfterLife of Undead Ned: A Home Care Survival Guide" is a light-hearted allegory that offers a heartwarming twist on the classic household manual, blending delicious home-cooked recipes with dead easy cleaning and maintenance tips. Follow the story of a wife who, tired of her deadbeat husband's refusal to help around the house, gets a shocking surprise when he catches a zombie virus and becomes a literal brain-dead husk. But rather than let him rot, she seizes the opportunity to turn his undead body into a chore-tackling machine. As she gets her zombie spouse sweeping, scrubbing, and stirring, readers will learn how to keep any household from turning into a graveyard of dirt clods, dust-bunnies, dastardly spills, and doggone insect droppings. With mouthwatering and easy-to-follow recipes that even a zombie could prepare, and tips for maximizing the lifespan of everything from dryers to drapes and carpets to ceiling fans, each chapter is packed with humor, practical advice, and a series of bite-sized tasks to make keeping house a no-brainer. As the wife's clever approach begins to bring her zombie back to life, it becomes clear that maybe the secret to a happy home isn't about biting off more than you can chew, but about taking little, regular bites-of brains and burdens! Includes daily, weekly, and seasonal checklists of all cleaning and maintenance tasks needed to keep the house gleaming and extend the lifespan of furnishings, appliances, and undead husbands. Perfect as a wedding shower or housewarming gift, or for anyone who could use some help making housework feel less like the end of the world, "The AfterLife of Undead Ned" is the must-have survival guide for those trying to keep their home (and partner) from falling apart.
Mr Isbister's Marvellous Ride
"It was the bane and the beauty of being a traveller, he supposed. To meet, to love, and to leave."It's 1922, and Mr Roderick Throckmorton Isbister is an earnest, unassuming fellow whose life in a house of privilege in the quiet English countryside is mundane and unfulfilling. Since coming to Sowerby Grange some twenty-five years earlier as a reluctant groom to his wife Alice's equally reluctant bride, things had fallen rather short of his expectations, although not for a lack of interests. And his are an eclectic mix: art, fungi, amphibians.His wife has never understood his fascination with art or the woodland world, so to avoid her disapproval, Mr Isbister indulges his pursuits surreptitiously. The chance to transform his unhappy existence comes about after he makes an inebriated purchase of a 1917 "Trusty" Triumph motorcycle from a dubious character with multiple guises.The bike and the discovery of his wife's tryst with an old flame are the catalyst for Mr's decision to go adventuring. He's accompanied, on a whim, by his resourceful and enigmatic housemaid, Eliza, riding along in the sidecar, but when he finds an anonymous note tucked into his haversack warning him of her suspect past, our protagonist finds himself questioning his choices, struggling with his failings, and navigating the rocky road of friendship. Endearing, big-hearted, humourous, Mr Isbister's Marvellous Ride is a delightful voyage of self-discover, and storytelling at its best.
Portergeist
The parents are lost in the past that formed them; the children raise themselves as a result from neglect and unintended, emotional abuse. Meanwhile, the Portergeist ('dead, my arse'), communicating to them all through modern media, tries to control and direct each of them to get his brother to play with him again in the fiery wake. Fantasies combine with a loose understanding of what is really happening, questioning everyone's identity, perspective, resilience and voice. Portergeist is a social history covering a fifty-year timespan explored through the distorted internal logic of mental illness, life as seen through the eyes of children and a very quirky humour. For those who have not experienced dysfunction on the level of this family, it is an unsettling read, but there is a happy ending, even for the last of the family's flea-bitten cats. 'I loved this book, craziness and all. Families can make or break us and the author has decided for the former, with a huge injection of fantasy and humour. The different family voices are so well delineated I feel I would know them instantly if I met them - a wild ride through a lifetime!' - Maryanne Coleman (Goblin Market, Pandemonium) 'I couldn't put it down. For me, the references to the TV and radio shows of my childhood really pulled me in and I felt that I was really there, watching with the Portergeist as the family implodes. It works as a memoir and a fantasy and anyone struggling with a difficult family background should read this - some humour and a bit of a sideways look will always make things bearable in the end.'- M.J. Trow
Alya Sometimes Hides Her Feelings in Russian, Vol. 6
Everyone at Seirei Academy witnessed Alya's victory at the trivia showdown on the festival's opening day, and since then they've all been enjoying the event. The final day of the festival approaches, but when Alya and her band get ready to take the stage, a major incident occurs! Someone is scheming to ruin the festival, but Masamichi is determined to deal with it so that Alya can have her time to shine. After all, the show must go on!
Molly Munday's Cupcakes
An inheritance from her late mother's estate, gives Molly the opportunity to turn her passion and experience with baking into a small business. The timing of this coinciding with life's changes that come to a woman of Molly's age. Molly's character is a confident, popular, fun-loving individual who sometimes can be a little naughty. Along with her best friend and new business partner, Iris, the short stories relate the highs and lows during the first year of Molly Munday's new venture.
Mischief & Mayhem
An hilarious feel good novel about the neighboursWithin a few hours of moving into their new home, Archie Halibut, his mother and his stepfather, George, are ambushed by a series of events that make them wonder what on earth kind of neighbourhood they have moved into.Archie unfairly gets accused of raiding next door's dustbin, their cat gets chased by next door's pet ferret, which results in the destruction of most of their coffee cups and George gets badly bitten on the finger, when he tries to intervene.When they get to meet the kids next door, they begin to realise that there could be much more chaos to come. And they are absolutely right.
Thank You For The Days
Every day counts when you're chasing love, life, and a little bit of madness...Luke Milvaine is a drifting 30-something stuck in a dead-end job with an even deader love life. Then the sudden death of a school friend leaves him with a cockapoo puppy and a bizarre challenge: to celebrate a different fake holiday every day for a year. Shower With a Friend Day, Talk Like Shakespeare Day, National Burger Day... What starts as a ridiculous stunt becomes a life-changing journey filled with strange encounters, surprising friendships, and the unexpected realisation that love might be right under his nose. With humour, heart, and a dash of absurdity, Luke discovers that sometimes, the biggest adventure is learning to appreciate the little things and rethink what - and who - truly matters.Thank You for the Days is a humorous, heartfelt journey about finding meaning in the mundane and learning to live with purpose.
Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player
Remember when you were young and you emulated your sporting heroes in the streets or school playground? Remember the days when you were going to win the 100m sprint/ The World Cup? Wimbledon? 'Confessions of an Ageing Tennis Player is a short story about our dreams and our disappointments, our failures and our triumphs. It's about a man of a certain age who lived those fantasies when he was young and never quite moved on as he grew up. It's a story of how he becomes sporting zero to hero and back again set against the backdrop of Wimbledon in 2013 when Andy Murray was the first British player to win there in decades. Unsurprisingly, Andy makes surprise appearances throughout the book.The must-go-to guide book for all of us who have never quite managed to succeed on the tennis court: or indeed anywhere else in life.
Someone Better Than You
For years, Brady Ritz writes satire about his family and friends under a fake name, but when vanity leads him to publish a collection of his essays under his own name, his wife Natalie leaves him alone in their Naples, Florida golf community. It doesn't matter that what he wrote is often right, or that he concealed people's identities. Once they learn Brady wrote a book, people start reading, and finding themselves.
The Last Conversation
Breakups are messy. They are raw, emotional, and often leave us questioning not just our relationships but our very sense of self. For Ansh, what started as heartbreak turned into a deep journey of self-discovery. His story is not just about the pain of letting go, but about the lessons learned through the process-lessons that many of us struggle with during the hardest moments of our lives.This is not just a guide to surviving a breakup; it's a reflection on how we, as individuals, can grow stronger from the very things that break us. Through Ansh's eyes, you'll see the common mistakes we make-clinging to hope, blaming others, or even losing ourselves in self-doubt. But more importantly, you'll see how it's possible to come out on the other side, not just intact but more resilient, more self-aware, and more confident.Ansh's journey speaks to anyone who has ever found themselves stuck in the aftermath of a relationship's end. It's for those who have depended too much on someone else to fix their lives, for those who have drowned their sorrows in temporary distractions, and for those who have forgotten to take care of themselves. This story is a reminder that breakups are not the end. They are a beginning-a time to reclaim who you are, rediscover your strength, and finally, to love yourself in ways you never did before. Ansh learned that survival after heartbreak is not just about moving on from someone else-it's about moving closer to the person you are meant to become.
Adventures in Poetry
"Hal Crook has created a new poetic form: the poetorial!" Margie Keil Flanders, FormerManaging Editor, Crosswinds Poetry Journal "Hal Crook is the king of irony, and he writesa mean poetorial!" Paul Hostovsky, author of Pitching for the Apostates "Crook transforms poetry into a sweet but changedinstrument for argument, education, and whimsy."Rod Kessler, Professor Emeritus, Salem State HAL CROOK, Professor Emeritus, Berklee Collegeof Music is an internationally known jazz musician.He has published four books on jazz improvisation, one novel, one collection of short stories, and one volume of poetry. From the FOREWORD... As ludicrous as this may sound, this book isa competition between Jazz-an art form I havepracticed and played professionally for most of mylife, which many people consider to be an acquiredtaste itself-and numerous other subjects that mayhave the feel or vibe of an acquired taste to them. Though for some of these subjects, you will have touse your imagination a little to grasp the connectionto an acquired taste. Or a lot. Or not at all, if you'rea certain kind of person. Like, a little bit off is good.Or a lot. So relax, because who isn't? Each piece is written in the style of a narrativeeditorial, but expressed in the form of a poem, e.g., using stanzas and line breaks-like this one-and other elements of poetry as well, such as clich矇s-those old familiar sayings used to help the readerunderstand what the writer is talking about. Know what I'm saying? More Comments..."Hal Crook is the king of irony, has a beautiful smile, writes a mean poetorial, and can spell loquacious and empty a trombone spit valve simultaneously." Paul Hostovsky, author of Pitching for the Apostates"Should anyone be surprised that a jazzman-turned-author like Hal Crook-a musician famous for improvising-should start riffing on the very form of poetry, as he does in ADVENTURES IN POETRY: Poetorials on JAZZ and Other Acquired Tastes, transforming that art into a sweet but changed instrument for argument, meditation, edu- cation, and whimsy? I learned a lot from these pages." Rod Kessler, Professor Emeritus, Salem State University, author of Self-Portrait with Tree"Hal Crook has created a new poetic form: the poetorial! Smart, wild commentaries on the world, as only he sees it. A great read, with snorting laughs throughout. I'll happily read anything Hal writes." Margie Keil Flanders, Former Managing Editor, Crosswinds Poetry Journal, author of The Persuasive Beauty of Imperfection"Superb." Gregg Mazel, Technology Integration Specialist"Hal's writing is mind blowing!" Jesús Santandreu, Saxophonist/Educator"Thank you for putting 'life' into words so perfectly!" JoAnn Marzocchi Phillips, Vocalist/Educator"Stone-cold genius." Scot Jackson, Drummer/Educator"Words of wisdom!" Brian O'Connell, Bassist"One of the best, [Hal] writes from experience...says what we in jazz experience." Al MacDonald, Saxophonist"And there's the low down!" Bob Albanese, Pianist"Brilliant." Bob McChesney, Trombonist/Educator"This is fantastic poetry!" Kevin Sullivan, Saxophonist/Educator"Took me out of this world." Ola Piano, Pianist"Great work on so many levels. [Hal] creates in people the desire to think." JH Cooper, Saxophonist/Educator"Truth." Dave Zinno, Bassist/Educator"A thinking man's jazzbo." Eric S. Pettine, Trombonist/Educator"Loved this! A heart opens up and bleeds musical expression." Dave Dubinsky, Trumpeter/Educator"[Hal] never disappoints." Mark Miller, Trombonist "Read Hal Crook closely. We have giants among us." Andrew Dow, Bassist/Educator
Always Be Santa
During the Christmas season there are Santa Clauses everywhere. The common explanation to kids who ask why they see so many guys in the red suits, is that they are all Santa's Helpers and they help out the real Santa every year at Christmas time. But could one of those helpers be the real Santa? That's the rumor you know. Santa Claus loves to go on special visits or be available for Santa photos so he can personally meet as many people as possible - all year long! "Always Be Santa: True Stories From The Guy In The Big Red Suit Vol. 1" provides a glimpse into the unique world of Santa Claus and his real encounters with real children and their families that happen year round in some very familiar places. In these pages you'll discover a collection of fun and heartwarming stories and beautiful illustrations, to be enjoyed as a family in a "Story A Day Until Christmas/Advent Style" experience. Families will find that these stories will enhance their Christmas celebration, while uplifting them and encouraging them to "Always Be Santa". Not just at Christmas time - but also all year long.
December Dread
Going home for the holidays can be murder in a bracing mystery by Amazon Charts bestselling and Edgar Award-nominated author Jess Lourey.After more than a decade away, Mira James isn't keen on returning to her Minnesota hometown for the holidays. Her childhood memories aren't particularly jolly. Even less festive is the news of a serial killer on the loose.With only ten shopping days till Christmas, the Candy Cane Killer has been very busy slashing through the snow. Eager to earn her official PI stripes, Mira is anxious to track him down. But when the latest victim is a woman from her high school graduating class, the investigation hits a little too close to home.Even worse? Mira has good reason to fear that she's next. To stop a killer in his tracks, she may have to start digging into the ghosts of her own Christmas past.Revised edition: This edition of December Dread includes editorial revisions.
Always Be Santa
During the Christmas season there are Santa Clauses everywhere. The common explanation to kids who ask why they see so many guys in the red suits, is that they are all Santa's Helpers and they help out the real Santa every year at Christmas time. But could one of those helpers be the real Santa? That's the rumor you know. Santa Claus loves to go on special visits or be available for Santa photos so he can personally meet as many people as possible - all year long! "Always Be Santa: True Stories From The Guy In The Big Red Suit Vol. 1" provides a glimpse into the unique world of Santa Claus and his real encounters with real children and their families that happen year round in some very familiar places. In these pages you'll discover a collection of fun and heartwarming stories and beautiful illustrations, to be enjoyed as a family in a "Story A Day Until Christmas/Advent Style" experience. Families will find that these stories will enhance their Christmas celebration, while uplifting them and encouraging them to "Always Be Santa". Not just at Christmas time - but also all year long.
Caught Out There
Platonic comedy (platon-com): Because sometimes a man and a woman are actually just good friends who will never, ever have sex. Black: With a capital B and specific cultural intentions.Plot: With the world in disarray and human-form aliens appearing and disappearing all the time, the Earthlings have not ceased their quests for love and companionship. Heartly and Malik are lovelorn humans who meet by chance at a bar and forge a friendship that turns out to be the platonic rebound they both need. A mutual dare leads them to a Zodiac-based matchmaking service, and they soon realize that extraterrestrials are also on the market. As news of these Black-presenting aliens who call themselves "Notofearths" (as in, not of Earth) dominate media, the new besties wonder... Will they discover down-to-earth love or take the chance to see what's out there?
The Accidental Rewrite
From the Sunday Times and internationally acclaimed author Milly Johnson comes her charming US debut--a witty, heartwarming tale that combines the humor and charm of 1980s rom-com Overboard with classic British flavor. Dive into this remarkable women's fiction novel and join heroine Polly on her hilarious, touching journey to rewrite her own story.What if it was possible to start over again? To leave everything behind, forget all that went before, and live the life you'd always dreamed of?Polly Potter is losing the plot of her life. At work, her jerk of a boss is making her days unbearable. At home, she's trapped in an unappreciated relationship with a man-child of a partner. She's left completely drained by always putting others first. Amid this chaos, Polly finds solace in one place: the pages of her novel, where she shapes the world of the fearless and triumphant Sabrina Anderson, a character who embodies everything Polly wishes she could be. And thus a plan is born: Polly Potter is going to stop writing the life she wants and start living it.Just as she makes her move--quitting her job, leaving her partner, and embarking on a road trip to start over--fate turns everything upside down. A wild turn of events leaves her far from home along the Yorkshire coast, in the hospital, waking up from a concussion, believing her name is Sabrina Anderson. She doesn't know where she's come from, but she feels she could heal in that seaside town, with the fresh air, seagulls, and a few kind strangers who take her into their lives. And into the heart of their joyful, boisterous Italian family restaurant--run by Teddy, the warmhearted son of her new landlady. When the restaurant is threatened, she knows she has the skills to help--and as her memory slowly returns, she must choose between Sabrina's life or Polly's. With her identity in question, Polly wonders: what if this new life could truly be hers? What if she could rewrite her story with a happier ending?Previously published in the UK as The Happiest Ever After.
Ma Hennigan's Chambers
The barristers in the city are mainly housed in comfortable, well-equipped chambers owned by their governing body. Directly opposite, surrounded by high rise office blocks is a remnant of jollier times. Ma Hennigan's Chambers is a former house of notorious fame where Tommy, grandson of the great madam Ma Hennigan, presides over a set of barely legal chambers where the law is practiced, songs are sung, and toasts are drunk. It is inevitable that there will be a collision of wills between the clots and the cream. The author has written a hilarious romp through the tangle of government, law and policing.
When the Man Dances
Neal Pilchard, an unemployed English professor, is hired to drive a venture capitalist's luxury car from North Carolina to Chicago. Along the way he crashes while drag racing, gets himself in a dangerous entanglement with a repo man's wife, and rescues the capitalist's ne'er-do-well son from a pair of mob enforcers. But this is just the beginning of Neal's misadventures. The simple driveaway turns into a race across the country, a wild ride through crime, violence, role-playing, and romance.
About Love
Little Clothbound Classics: irresistible mini editions of short stories, novellas, and essays from the world's greatest writers, designed by the award-winning Coralie Bickford-SmithA Penguin Classics Hardcover From a writer widely considered to be one of greatest ever of the form, Anton Chekhov's short stories offer unforgettable character, crystalline expression, and deep, powerful mystery. Collected here are five of his very best tales, "The Lady with the Little Dog," "The House with the Mezzanine," and the trilogy "The Man in the Case," "Gooseberries," and "About Love."
Curio's Carnival
When Primula Wallace decides to run for Chair of the Parish Council, and Abigail steps up to oppose her, she suddenly finds herself gaining popularity. The fear of the oppressive Primula at the helm, wins her approval and support for the first time in ten years. With a new found confidence, she takes a huge leap of faith, and her life takes a surprising turn for the better. Her fellow Curio's join her, and plan the biggest thing to ever happen in Wotton Dursley. Everything is riding on the success of the Curio's as Abigail takes the lead, pushing Chloe into the limelight, and with Edwina's advanced skills, they plan to astound the village, and hopefully win the election in what is a campaign of smears and lies aimed against her. There are fun and frolics once again, as the Curio's go all out, in what is the most imaginative and creative story of the Curio's so far. A thrilling and captivating read, that will leave you breathless and wanting more, in his best Curio story to date, from Robin John Morgan.
The Silver-Haired Sisterhood
The BRAND NEW feel-good read from USA Today Bestseller Judy Leigh'We're celebrating life, ' Rose said. 'Life, every single minute of it. Tell me, girls - is there ever anything better to celebrate than that?'Five years after seventy-something Tess jetted off to Paris with her best friends, Jen, Rose, Della and Pam - the Five French Hens - for Jen's hen do, a lot has changed. Prospective groom Eddie has been given the heave-ho, Tess's husband has been sent packing and the Hens are making the most of their golden years.But Tess is stuck in a rut. Rather than embrace her independence, she watches on as Rose wows Paris, Jen explores Iceland and Pam heads to Greece. But when tragedy strikes Della, Tess is shaken into action. They both need a change of scenery and longing to see the Northern Lights, they head to the Highlands of Scotland and the magical Isle of Skye.There Tess and Della get more than they bargained for. Along with stunning scenery and breathtaking history, they find new friends, grand adventures and even romance. And when they're joined by the other Hens, together they start plotting a fabulous new future for them all.Travel with Judy Leigh to the magical Highlands in this uplifting, joyous and funny tale of friendships and new beginnings. This is the perfect feel-good story for all fans of Maddie Please, Dawn French and Caroline James.Readers love Judy Leigh: 'Judy Leigh's great strength is her wonderful, full-of-life characters. I especially love how so many of her starring roles in her novels go to strong women, and particularly older women... Highly recommended.''You can only love the beautiful writing style of Judy Leigh. It's light, fresh and breezy, She gives aging a sparkle, that doesn't make it seem scary but something to embrace and enjoy to the maximum.''Judy Leigh has become one of my favourite authors. Her writing is amazing. I have read most of her novels and look forward to the next one.''I hope you too pick up this heart warming, fun filled frolicking story of friendship and love. It is well worth a read.''As usual, Judy Leigh excelled at imagining her characters, and it was a treat to follow their adventures. Of course, I don't include spoilers, but I can certainly promise a story filled with the very best kind of people, love, and a reminder that age is just a state of mind.'Praise for Judy Leigh: 'I loved this book. It's funny, emotional and a book that fills you with determination not to let life pass you by as you get older.' Jennifer Bohnet'Brilliantly funny, emotional and uplifting' Miranda Dickinson'Lovely . . . a book that assures that life is far from over at seventy' Cathy Hopkins bestselling author of The Kicking the Bucket List'Brimming with warmth, humour and a love of life... a wonderful escapade' Fiona Gibson
Bagels & Cafecitos
"What have we gotten ourselves into?"Maria, Miguel, and Esteban have no idea what the future holds when they purchase a small town bagel shop across the river from Manhattan.Bagels & Cafecitos celebrates the immigrant's experience with wit and grit. Featuring a memorable melting pot of characters, it's filled with the misadventures and escapades that accompany striving for the American Dream.Food, laughter, and family are the main ingredients. Bungling gangsters and bakers, customers, cooks, conmen, and wannabe mobsters all come together to create a delicious recipe for entertainment.In this comical collection of stories, Eurice Rojas authentically captures people and places, paying homage to a time when the love of friends and family formed the bedrock of a community. Join the quirky cast of characters as their shop reflects the unique lives of those passing by in the streets outside.
Secret Plans
Tami Knight started drawing cartoons about climbers when the glaciers were a lot larger. C'mon in and enjoy Knight's rats and humans as they get up to mountains of mischief! This book may even help you re-work yer primal scream!And, dang, Jon Krakauer wrote the forward.
Secret Plans
Tami Knight started drawing cartoons about climbers when the glaciers were a lot larger. C'mon in and enjoy Knight's rats and humans as they get up to mountains of mischief! This book may even help you re-work yer primal scream!And, dang, Jon Krakauer wrote the forward.
The Only One Laughing
Being the second son of a clan leader is no joke-you spend your whole life being the official afterthought. Elko, our hairy hero, dreams of leaving his "backup" role behind and living with the humans he's spied on his whole life. Can he escape his humorless family and its obligations to find that special spark of humanity in Portland, or will the last laugh be on him? Ride along on a light-hearted and endearing romp through the weirdness of Portland, Oregon and the wilderness of finding oneself. A love letter to the biggest city in her life, Rebecka Ratcliffe's third novel is a poignant exploration of longing and belonging. Funny, complicated, and oh-so-human, this story will charm you as Elko chooses his own path through friendship, laughter, and newfound purpose. Praise for The Only One Laughing "Have you ever loved something so much you couldn't simply embrace it but share it with the world? This is what Rebecka Ratcliffe has accomplished in her big-hearted, beautifully realized novel of Portland, a city she brings fully to life with outsider spirit, insider knowledge, and all-around humor, populated with the lost souls, found voices, and magical connections that are sure to find a beloved home in readers' hearts."-Francesco Marciuliano, NYT Bestselling Author of I Could Pee on This and many others
Broke My Funny Bone
Collecting the best of Ted Rancont's humorous work, this collection of short stories, dialogues, and essays is sure to raise a laugh.
Dad Joke Alert!
You have heard of dad jokes; well, I have compiled a long list of these jokes to entertain even the simplest of minds. Dad jokes are notorious for being an eye-rolling experience, but here the goal is to have you rolling around on the floor laughing out loud.Jokes like, "What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?" or "How does a rooster kiss his girlfriend?"You can find the answers inside!Did you know I once had a fish that could break dance? Only for 20 seconds and only for one time!There are even a few cheeky ones that may be rated for adults. These days, cell phones are used in the bathroom, but whatever happened to that one book that everyone would grab and turn the pages for a giggle while taking care of business?Well, here it is!What's the difference between pink and purple? The grip!The eye-rolling jokes that have long been forgotten-everyone could use a good joke at some point.Ever wondered why bicycles can't stand on their own? Because they are two tired!Or how about this one: Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!If you ever need a good laugh, remember that my long list of dad jokes is here to provide just that. Whether it's a classic one-liner or a clever pun, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
Dad Joke Alert!
You have heard of dad jokes; well, I have compiled a long list of these jokes to entertain even the simplest of minds. Dad jokes are notorious for being an eye-rolling experience, but here the goal is to have you rolling around on the floor laughing out loud.Jokes like, "What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?" or "How does a rooster kiss his girlfriend?"You can find the answers inside!Did you know I once had a fish that could break dance? Only for 20 seconds and only for one time!There are even a few cheeky ones that may be rated for adults. These days, cell phones are used in the bathroom, but whatever happened to that one book that everyone would grab and turn the pages for a giggle while taking care of business?Well, here it is!What's the difference between pink and purple? The grip!The eye-rolling jokes that have long been forgotten-everyone could use a good joke at some point.Ever wondered why bicycles can't stand on their own? Because they are two tired!Or how about this one: Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!If you ever need a good laugh, remember that my long list of dad jokes is here to provide just that. Whether it's a classic one-liner or a clever pun, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
A Perfect Year?
1990s England. Ali and Caroline are neighbours but not friends in leafy Upley Rising. Ali battles with money troubles and multiple children while Caroline has rock star connections and always gets what she wants. Then there's respectable Robert, the third neighbour, whose life takes an unexpected turn.Every December Ali, Caroline and Robert write up their year's news into cheery round robin newsletters for everyone they know. What a wonderful year it's been: Charles has been promoted twice, Max is the school orchestra's top tuba player and Clementine's child modelling career progression is meteoric. But what about the longstanding local murder mystery? Or the strange goings on at Upley Rising's 300 year-old summer festival?Whose letters can you really believe?
Short Stories to Amuse, Baffle, and Educate
Some things in life are just inexplicable. On top of that, they can't be explained. What this book does is captivatingly capture your imagination in unimaginable and preposterous ways. Imagine that while you are imagining an image of your own imagination. As you read this book of short stories, poems, and cartoons, you will all too quickly realize that the author's imagination has run totally amok. Some may say it's run aground or hit a reef and broken its keel. You must be warned, however. Some of the stories may be a challenge "two" read so you may have to read them twice or thrice to fully appreciate some of the subtler humor; i.e., subtle humor is humor that is below or under the "tle".
Chaos on the Canal
Passengers on a luxury vacation take a cocktail in one hand and matters into the other in this bonkers tale about a trip that goes awry for all involved, tragically for some. This is the latest nonsense from Gene Upchurch about mostly decent people who lose their minds as they go overboard to ensure obnoxious people get what they deserve with predictably calamitous consequences.
The Silver Squad
The Bold, the Brave, and the Wrinkled: Retirement Just Got Rowdy!Barry and Beth, high school sweethearts separated by time and circumstance, find themselves reunited at the Blue Loon Village senior living center in Minneapolis. Now both seventy, they rekindle their relationship only to discover how differently time has shaped them. Beth has blossomed into a free spirit with a goth flair, while Barry has transformed into the curmudgeon he swore in his youth he'd never become.Despite their differences, neither senior is content to settle into a quiet life at the Blue Loon Village. As they reminisce about their unfulfilled teenage dream of changing the world, Beth convinces Barry that it's never too late to make a difference. In fact, their age provides them with an advantage-the minimal consequences they'd face if caught doing something illegal. Inspired by their past and emboldened by their age, they set off on a daring road trip across America as Silver Squad vigilantes with nothing to lose.Soon joined by Jenny-a woman in her forties on the run from her abusive cop-husband-the Silver Squad's humorous, sometimes perilous escapades include robbing the prosperous to feed the homeless, rescuing drowning kittens, challenging unethical alligator hunters, and confronting a mass shooter with only a can of SPAM.And sometimes, when a woman tires of running, she turns around and fights. As Jenny's fear turns into courage, she vows to seize control-and give her husband the surprise of a lifetime.The Silver Squad: Rebels With Wrinkles is a comedic novel that celebrates living life to the fullest while tackling the serious issues of spousal abuse, animal cruelty, mass shootings, and homelessness.
Equal
I had a thought over fifty years ago to have chips installed in a person's head to give a person all the information they would ever need and have everyone have the same advantage. So John and Diane both proceed through life, always trying to get an advantage over the other. All in good fun until...
