The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared
A larger-than-life old man with a fondness for vodka goes on an unexpected adventure in this whimsical novel -- perfect for fans of Forrest Gump and A Man Called Ove. The international publishing sensation -- more than six million copies sold worldwide! A reluctant centenarian much like Forrest Gump (if Gump were an explosives expert) decides it's not too late to start over . . . After a long and eventful life, Allan Karlsson ends up in a nursing home, believing it to be his last stop. The only problem is that he's still in good health, and in one day, he turns 100. A big celebration is in the works, but Allan really isn't interested (and he'd like a bit more control over his vodka consumption). So he decides to escape. He climbs out the window in his slippers and embarks on a hilarious and entirely unexpected journey, involving, among other surprises, a suitcase stuffed with cash, some unpleasant criminals, a friendly hot-dog stand operator, and an elephant (not to mention a death by elephant). It would be the adventure of a lifetime for anyone else, but Allan has a larger-than-life backstory: Not only has he witnessed some of the most important events of the twentieth century, but he has actually played a key role in them. Starting out in munitions as a boy, he somehow finds himself involved in many of the key explosions of the twentieth century and travels the world, sharing meals and more with everyone from Stalin, Churchill, and Truman to Mao, Franco, and de Gaulle. Quirky and utterly unique, The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared has charmed readers across the world.
The Discovery of America by the Turks
A Penguin Classic Published here for the first time in English in a brilliant translation by the peerless Gregory Rabassa, The Discovery of America by the Turks is a whimsical Brazilian take on The Taming of the Shrew that will remind readers why Jorge Amado is to Portuguese-American literature what Jorge Luis Borges is to Spanish-American literature. It follows the adventures of two Arab immigrants--"Turks," as Brazilians call them--who arrive in the rough Brazilian frontier in 1903 and become involved in a merchant's farcical attempt to marry off his shrew of a daughter. For more than seventy years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,700 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.
The Importance of Being Seven
44 SCOTLAND STREET - Book 6 The residents and neighbors of 44 Scotland Street and the city of Edinburgh come to vivid life in these gently satirical, wonderfully perceptive serial novels, featuring six-year-old Bertie, a remarkably precocious boy--just ask his mother. The great city of Edinburgh is renowned for its impeccable restraint, so how, then, did the extended family of 44 Scotland Street come to be trembling on the brink of reckless self-indulgence? After seven years and five books, Bertie is--finally!--about to turn seven. But one afternoon he mislays his meddling mother Irene, and learns a valuable lesson: wish-fulfillment can be a dangerous business. Angus and Domenica contemplate whether to give in to romance on holiday in Italy, and even usually down-to-earth Big Lou is overheard discussing cosmetic surgery. Funny, warm, and heartfelt as ever, The Importance of Being Seven offers fresh and wise insights into philosophy and fraternity among Edinburgh's most lovable residents.
Liar
Under all the glamour surrounding Beverly Hills, a sleazy underbelly quietly festers. As love for barter, lowlife scams, and trashy pickups lurk in the shadows, a small-time hustler masquerades as a big shot. Forty-year-old Joel Schebschitz is a friendly supplier of antique jewelry who knows a sexy woman when he sees one-and that doesn't include his wife. Claudia Alonzo is a voluptuous Brazilian model looking for a fast buck. When the long-legged beauty approaches Joel with the hope of selling her ruby ring, he jumps at the opportunity. But there is only one problem-Claudia is not attracted to Joel at all. A mastermind at devious manipulation, Claudia knows Joel may be very useful to her, so she happily strings him along as he trails after her heels like a lovesick puppy dog. In this scandalously provocative tale set among the bogus glitz of Southern California, steamy sex transforms into murderous hate as a diabolical war ensues between a rapacious gold-digger and a monstrous liar. "Liar is very entertaining-smart, insightful, funny and truly sexy. A must-read." -Russell Andrews, author of Hades "A very sexy and hilarious book ..." -Peter Gethers, chief editor for Random House
Organisms
A California scientist thinks he may have stumbled on to something that will not only restore his enthusiasm for his work but also enhance his reputation. Instead he implicates himself and a colleague and friend in an intrigue that threatens not only their jobs but their lives! This one was written with the 1956 sci-fi classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers in mind. With a tip of the cap to Adolf Hitler for his contributions to the novel's presidential rhetoric. All the charismatic president's speeches are adapted from Hitler's memoir Mein Kampf.
Fifty Shames of Earl Grey
Young, arrogant tycoon Earl Grey seduces the na簿ve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick)? Or will his dark secrets and constant smirking drive her over the edge?
My American Unhappiness
"Bakopoulos has invented a man for all rainy seasons--a horny, heartbroken cousin of Richard Ford's Frank Bascombe." --Tom Piazza "A winning distraction, a smart entertainment." --New York Times Book Review A clairvoyant when it comes to the Starbucks orders, a renegade when it comes to bureaucracy, Zeke asks almost everybody he meets, "Why are you so unhappy?" The answers he receives--a mix of true sadness and absurd complaint--become the core of an obsessive project, "The Inventory of American Unhappiness," a project that becomes all the more personally meaningful as he follows steps outlined in a women's magazine on finding the perfect mate. Incisively tapping the voice of one of the most charming--and deluded--narrators to come along in years, Dean Bakopolous captures our zeitgeist with lacerating wit and a big heart, confirming Jonathan Miles's (author of Dear American Airlines) claim that "there's no such thing as unhappiness when you're holding a Dean Bakopolous novel." "Hilarious and heartfelt . . . This funny-sad novel seems to take elements of the author's own life . . . and twists them in a funhouse mirror--with delightful results." --NPR
Leave it to Psmith
Ronald Psmith ("the 'p' is silent, as in pshrimp") is always willing to help a damsel in distress. So when he sees Eve Halliday without an umbrella during a downpour, he nobly offers her an umbrella, even though it's one he picks out of the Drone Club's umbrella rack. Psmith is so besotted with Eve that, when Lord Emsworth, her new boss, mistakes him for Ralston McTodd, a poet, Psmith pretends to be him so he can make his way to Blandings Castle and woo her. And so the farce begins: criminals disguised as poets with a plan to steal a priceless diamond necklace, a secretary who throws flower pots through windows, and a nighttime heist that ends in gunplay. How will everything be sorted out? Leave it to Psmith
After the Garden Party, & Mischief in Meadowford
The small villages of rural Suffolk, England, in the early twentieth century, appear to the casual visitor havens of peace and calm, where the seasons govern farming life, and the leisurely pursuits of the upper classes present a charming tableau of courteous social activity. But is this the reality? What really goes on in Hall, Manor, villa and cottage? Is there heartbreak, mischief and malice, deception and betrayal, mayhem, misadventure - even perhaps madness and murder? Lift the lid on one small village - idyllic Meadowford Magna. Here, mansions look out over water meadows where cows graze, gamekeepers rear pheasants in the green woods, ancient thatched cottages nestle among the vegetable plots and the tower of medieval St. Mildred's stands guard over saint and sinner. But there is trouble brewing. Will it all end in tears? These entertaining tales of an era long gone will intrigue you, shock you, move you to tears or laughter and demonstrate that 'there's nowt so queer as folk!'
The Little Village School
'[Gervase Phinn is] a worthy successor to James Herriott, and every bit as endearing.' - Bestselling author Alan Titchmarsh She was wearing red shoes! With silver heels! Elisabeth Devine causes quite a stir on her arrival in the village. No one can understand why the head of a big inner city school would want to come to sleepy little Barton-in-the-Dale, to a primary with more problems than school dinners. And that's not even counting the challenges the mysterious Elisabeth herself will face: a bitter former head teacher, a grumpy caretaker and a duplicitous chair of governors, to name but a few. Then there's the gossip. After all, a woman who would wear red shoes to an interview is obviously capable of anything . . . Warm, funny and poignant, Gervase Phinn's first novel creates a fictional world that's as real as can be. It will delight all his fans, and win him many more. Readers are loving THE LITTLE VILLAGE SCHOOL! 'A jolly good read.' - 5 STARS 'Superb, easy reading.' - 5 STARS 'I completely fell in love with all the characters in this book.' - 5 STARS 'Will definitely go on to read more of Gervase Phinn's works.' - 5 STARS 'Wonderful storytelling, believable characters.' - 5 STARS
They Eat Puppies, Don't They?
In an attempt to gain congressional approval for a top-secret weapons system, Washington lobbyist "Bird" McIntyre teams up with sexy, outspoken neocon Angel Templeton to pit the American public against the Chinese. When Bird fails to uncover an authentic reason to slander the nation, he and Angel put the Washington media machine to work, spreading a rumor that the Chinese secret service is working to assassinate the Dalai Lama. Meanwhile in China, mild-mannered President Fa Mengyao and his devoted aide Gang are maneuvering desperately against sinister party hard-liners Minister Lo and General Han. Now Fa and Gang must convince the world that the People's Republic is not out to kill the Dalai Lama, while maintaining Fa's small margin of power in the increasingly militaristic environment of the party. On the home front, Bird must contend with a high-strung wife who entertains Olympic equestrian ambition, and the qualifying competition happens to be taking place in China. As things unravel abroad, Bird and Angel's lie comes dangerously close to reality. And as their relationship rises to a new level, so do mounting tensions between the United States and China.
Snobs
Julian Fellowes, creator of the Emmy-Award winning TV series Downton Abbey, established himself as an irresistible storyteller and a deliciously witty chronicler of modern manners in his first novel, Snobs, a wickedly astute portrait of the intersecting worlds of aristocrats and actors. "The English, of all classes as it happens, are addicted to exclusivity. Leave three Englishmen in a room and they will invent a rule that prevents a fourth joining them." The best comedies of manners are often deceptively simple, seamlessly blending social critique with character and story. In his superbly observed first novel, Julian Fellowes, winner of an Academy Award for his original screenplay of Gosford Park, brings us an insider's look at a contemporary England that is still not as classless as is popularly supposed. Edith Lavery, an English blonde with large eyes and nice manners, is the daughter of a moderately successful accountant and his social-climbing wife. While visiting his parents' stately home as a paying guest, Edith meets Charles, Earl of Broughton, and heir to the Marquess of Uckfield, who runs the family estates in East Sussex and Norfolk. To the gossip columns he is one of the most eligible young aristocrats around. When he proposes. Edith accepts. But is she really in love with Charles? Or with his title, his position, and all that goes with it? One inescapable part of life at Broughton Hall is Charles's mother, the shrewd Lady Uckfield, known to her friends as "Googie" and described by the narrator---an actor who moves comfortably among the upper classes while chronicling their foibles---"as the most socially expert individual I have ever known at all well. She combined a watchmaker's eye for detail with a madam's knowledge of the world." Lady Uckfield is convinced that Edith is more interested in becoming a countess than in being a good wife to her son. And when a television company, complete with a gorgeous leading man, descends on Broughton Hall to film a period drama, "Googie's" worst fears seem fully justified.
A Game of Groans
A PARODY OF THE BELOVED FANTASY DOORSTOP... ER, SAGA In the land of the Eight (or was it Six?) Kingdoms--where the seasons last as long as a series of bestselling Tolkien-esque novels--trouble is brewing. The mud is growing muddier, the onions are rotting, the Wall to the North (or is it the South?) is melting, and Lord Barker of Summerseve is getting worried. His wife is addicted to Godsweede, his King is too fat to fit into his armor, and the foreshadowing is out of control. All in all, not the position you want to be in when Summer is coming. From this world of outdoor fornication with horse-people (and indoor fornication with blood relatives) comes an epic story of novella proportions. Amid plots and counterplots, power-hungry warriors and overworked ravens, poor reception and no wireless, the future of the Barkers, their BFFs, and their enemies dangles in the balance, as each strives to survive long enough to appear in at least two of the sequels. "His teeth might be wooden, but his prose is not." ---J.R.R. Madison George R. R. Washington cannot tell a lie: A Game of Groans was not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by any person or entity involved in creating or producing any of the Song of Ice and Fire books or the Games of Throne television program. Please direct any inquiries to our legal counsel, Clarence R. R. Darrow.
Devilish Deeds of an Absentminded, Lovable Lout
Chris Slatsky grew up in the suburbs of Birmingham, Alabama, in the late 1960s in a small community named Minor. As a little boy, he ran as fast as his little legs will carry him, finding adventure everywhere. He tried to be a mini-version of his father, mimicking his every action and sticking up for his family's Catholic beliefs. In high school, he enjoyed wrestling, even though he hardly ever won a match. He hung out with his two best friends, Jed and Jay, and they spent countless days playing pranks and getting in trouble. Before entering graduate school, he met a woman with strawberry blonde hair in church. He learned her name is Sandy and asked her to go to the zoo with him; more than twenty years later, they are still together. Since the day they met, she has relished his folly, and to this day, they playfully engage in flirty competitions for supremacy. But you'll have to read Devilish Deeds of an Absentminded, Lovable Lout to discover who's currently on top in their ongoing competition.
Liebestod
As hilarious as it is heartbreaking, Liebestod returns us to Leslie Epstein's most compelling literary character, that European emigre and meagerly successful musician, Leib Goldkorn, whose final years as a randy centenarian in New York City end in one of the most memorable swan songs in recent fiction. Invited back to his hometown in Moravia, Leib discovers that his father is not a hops magnate but actually one of the twentieth century's greatest composers, Gustav Mahler. Returning to New York with a bevy of rabbinical cousins, Leib, now besotted by a world-famed diva, is determined to bring to the Metropolitan Opera Rubezahl, the only opera his real father ever wrote. Yet the much-heralded premiere turns into a fiasco of unimaginable proportions, all breathtakingly relayed by a stunned newspaper correspondent who survives to report on this monumental disaster. With Liebestod, Epstein once again illuminates the mystery of our common humanity and mortality (New York Times).
White Girl Problems
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab-that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day. Hurdles such as: I hate my horse.Every job I've ever had is the worst job I've ever had.He's not a doctor, a lawyer, or a prince.I'll eat anything, as long as it's gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic. In an Adderall-induced flash of inspiration, Babe Walker has managed to create one of the most enjoyable, unforgettable memoirs in years.
In Extremis
A giant comet is hurtling toward Earth, and the world learns that all life on the planet will be obliterated in just seven days. Stanley's Comet is a gallows humor view of the precipitous decline of civil society upon the news. Events unfold from the perspective of Stanley Caldwell, a thirty-fi ve year old assistant copy shop manager who resides with his mother in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and Dr. Herschel Stanley, an embittered junior grade NASA astronomer whose accidental discovery of the comet catapults him from obscurity to momentary notoriety. In The Third Love, the followers of Smith, an executed convict who taught that good and evil are physical qualities controlled by the laws of "the physik," acquire a nuclear weapon with the intent of putting Smith's teachings into practice. The novel is set in the near future at a time when computers and effi cient economics have relieved the majority of the need or even the opportunity to work. Instead, most pass their days in meaningless isolation watching multivision, a form of three-dimensional television and internet with a picture "more real than reality." The novel centers on the life of an ordinary guy in such a society, while following the President's political calculations that in the end coincide with the aims of the followers of Smith. Although the two novels of In Extremis are separate in conception, both are darkly humorous studies of individuals and societies under extreme stress and each explores the role of choice, chance and fate in determining the final outcome.
In Extremis
A giant comet is hurtling toward Earth, and the world learns that all life on the planet will be obliterated in just seven days. Stanley's Comet is a gallows humor view of the precipitous decline of civil society upon the news. Events unfold from the perspective of Stanley Caldwell, a thirty-fi ve year old assistant copy shop manager who resides with his mother in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and Dr. Herschel Stanley, an embittered junior grade NASA astronomer whose accidental discovery of the comet catapults him from obscurity to momentary notoriety. In The Third Love, the followers of Smith, an executed convict who taught that good and evil are physical qualities controlled by the laws of "the physik," acquire a nuclear weapon with the intent of putting Smith's teachings into practice. The novel is set in the near future at a time when computers and effi cient economics have relieved the majority of the need or even the opportunity to work. Instead, most pass their days in meaningless isolation watching multivision, a form of three-dimensional television and internet with a picture "more real than reality." The novel centers on the life of an ordinary guy in such a society, while following the President's political calculations that in the end coincide with the aims of the followers of Smith. Although the two novels of In Extremis are separate in conception, both are darkly humorous studies of individuals and societies under extreme stress and each explores the role of choice, chance and fate in determining the final outcome.
Mrs. Million
Barbaraannette Quinn loved her husband, Bobby, right up until the day he got in his truck, left their home in Cold Rock, Minnesota, and never returned. She has waited six years for him to walk back through her door, and now that she has hit the Powerball lottery, she's willing to give a million dollars to anyone who can make that happen. Bobby and his girlfriend, Phlox, decide that she will turn him in, collect the million bucks, and then they'll both hightail it back to Arizona to live happily ever after. Unfortunately, everybody wants a piece of Bobby -- including a pair of hulking good ole boys, who figure Bobby owes them, and a sociopathic pretty boy freshout of St. Cloud Correctional, who notices that Barbaraannette's offer doesn't require that Bobby arrive alive. Toss in a shy marathon-running banker, a lovestruck humanities professor, and Barbaraannette's kleptomaniac mother, and things start getting a little hot in Cold Rock. "I've really started something, haven't I?" Barbaraannette says. What she has started is a crackpot criminal conspiracy in Pete Hautman's funniest novel yet.
Some Champions
Sharing stories and sketches by beloved sports columnist Ring Lardner, this book is guaranteed to bring a laugh to readers as they follow Ring through the adventures of everyday life. In a collection of untold stories and sketches, Ring Lardner showcases his wit and wry sense of irony in every piece. A sportswriter by trade, Lardner was widely known for his superb ear for the regional peculiarities of speech and notoriously loved for his humor. A must for anyone interested in classic American fiction, Some Champions shares many of Lardner's classic tales focused on the quirks and pathos of human beings, including their daily turmoils and small triumphs.
Run Catch Kiss
"I was only twenty-two and already I was infamous..." So begins Amy Sohn's hilarious and wise debut novel, Run Catch Kiss. When the saucy Ariel Steiner returns home to New York City to be an actress, she is buoyed by daydreams of becoming Hollywood's hottest ingenue. Nothing can stand in her way -- nothing, that is, but her freshman-fifteen pounds, a senile talent agent, and the fact that she's living back home with her parents in Brooklyn. While waiting for the ever-elusive big break, Ariel discovers a hidden talent for channeling her erotic fantasies and becomes a sex columnist at New York's hottest downtown weekly. Soon, art and life are imitating one another, and the junkies, commitmentphobes, and other subjects of Ariel's columns are wreaking havoc on her life. But when she finally falls in love, the real Ariel must stand up. Is she a nice Jewish girl who wants to settle down or a brazen sex kitten who'd rather meet a deadline than the man of her dreams? Sharp, savvy, and irresistible, Run Catch Kiss is a tongue-in-cheek commentary on that dangerous turn-of-the-century phenomenon: the single girl who wants it all.
The Alphabetical Hookup List K-Q
How 3 girls tried to hook up with 78 guys in 1 semester: the second installment. So. Maybe freshman year isn't all it's cracked up to be. Jodi won't be joining a sorority any time soon. Celeste isn't so innocent anymore. Ali is on the verge of flunking out of PU. But who cares? Our heroines are hooking up with all sorts of Andys and Busters and "Captains" -- slowly but surely making their way toward that elusive Z. And when they decide to take the Alphabetical Hookup List on the road -- to Paris, no less -- it looks as though they can finally forget about their troubles. (For one long weekend, anyway.) Unfortunately -- thanks to a series of mishaps including scandalous behavior in the library stacks, a guitar-shaped tattoo, and a missing $6,000 -- their troubles just got a lot worse. And the ABCs just got a lot more complicated.
Bertie Wooster Sees It Through
A Bertie and Jeeves classic, featuring novelist Florence Craye, a pearl necklace, and The Mystery of the Pink Crayfish. Bertie is in a genuine fix. Not only does Jeeves disapprove most strongly of Bertie's new mustache, but also, and more disturbingly, "Stilton" Cheesewright is in a jealous rage and threatens to tear him limb from limb. In Bertie Wooster Sees It Through, more than ever, Bertie needs the wisdom of the peerless Jeeves to extricate him from this perilous situation. Will Jeeves rally to the cause and rescue his employer once again?
The Alphabetical Hookup List A-J
How 3 girls tried to hook up with 78 guys in 1 semester: the first installment. Our heroes: Jodi Stein, cheerleader, bat mitzvah, and sorority hopeful, whose life plan prominently features her high school sweetheart, Buster. Celeste Alexander, tormented intellectual and virgin, the daughter of a former Buddhist monk and ex-nun. Ali Sheppard, a soul lost in a sea of lollipops and glow-sticks, whose long distance boyfriend is a trip-hop hypnotica DJ named Sensei. It doesn't seem as if these three roomates have much in common. Not at first. But then a night of misery brings them together -- a night when Jodi finds Buster in a compromising position, Celeste discovers an unexpected side to her date, Jordan, and Ali has a distressing phone call with Sensei. What starts as a simple game -- a game born of heartbreak, a bottle of tequila, and a Scrabble(R) board -- evolves into a three-woman sexual revolution. Forget boyfriends. Forget "life partners." This is the future. This is the Alphabetical Hookup List. The ABCs will never be the same.
A Bounty of Blandings
Welcome to Shropshire, England-in this dreamy countryside lies Blandings Castle, seat of the ninth Earl of Emsworth. He and his family live an idyllic life of peace and solitude, punctuated by afternoon tea, long strolls in the garden, and summer showers. Or would if they weren't in a Wodehouse story. The apple of Lord Emsworth's eye is the Empress of Blandings, a splendid Berkshire sow who has twice won honors in the Fat Pig class at the local agricultural show. Besides keeping his pig in shape, Emsworth must deal with his sister's snobby demeanor, his brother's crazy memoirs, and a rival pig whose bulk might dash the Empress's hopes of another medal. Throw in a few young lovers and you have yourself a perfect brew of hilarious adventures. Included in this omnibus are Summer Lightning, Heavy Weather, and Blandings Castle. Evelyn Waugh once said, "The gardens of Blandings Castle are that original garden from which we are all exiled. All those who know them long to return."
Angels at the Eastport Bridge
Though it may seem a bit complicated, the story is simple, and when all the pieces are laid out, it is plain to see where it all began. It started with one single human by the name of Tane MacGregor; one single, officially insane, homeless dust rag of a man. He occasionally caught glances from passing strangers as he swung his feet rhythmically from the drawbridge over the calm waters of Spa Creek, and he was often found in the company of angels. As it was said, MacGregor was seen as the glue, the string binding all the events and beings which created a rather remarkable occurrence in the soft, beautifully adjacent, scenic towns of Annapolis and Eastport and, in particular, about the small Eastport Drawbridge over Spa Creek, spanning and dividing the two. Now, as the story would be told and retold in most homes and taverns around the Chesapeake for many years, it was too easily called coincidence. True, it began at a certain time with a certain person, in a certain situation, accompanied by an incredible series of events, people, celestial beings, lawyers, homeless schizophrenics, ghosts, God, junk food, and small deviations in time and space, with waving definitions of good and evil, all coming together in a perfect harmonic mix ... but coincidence?
Angels at the Eastport Bridge
Though it may seem a bit complicated, the story is simple, and when all the pieces are laid out, it is plain to see where it all began. It started with one single human by the name of Tane MacGregor; one single, officially insane, homeless dust rag of a man. He occasionally caught glances from passing strangers as he swung his feet rhythmically from the drawbridge over the calm waters of Spa Creek, and he was often found in the company of angels. As it was said, MacGregor was seen as the glue, the string binding all the events and beings which created a rather remarkable occurrence in the soft, beautifully adjacent, scenic towns of Annapolis and Eastport and, in particular, about the small Eastport Drawbridge over Spa Creek, spanning and dividing the two. Now, as the story would be told and retold in most homes and taverns around the Chesapeake for many years, it was too easily called coincidence. True, it began at a certain time with a certain person, in a certain situation, accompanied by an incredible series of events, people, celestial beings, lawyers, homeless schizophrenics, ghosts, God, junk food, and small deviations in time and space, with waving definitions of good and evil, all coming together in a perfect harmonic mix ... but coincidence?
The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise 倫敦塔祕密動物園
Brimming with charm and whimsy, this national bestseller set in the Tower of London has the transportive qualities and delightful magic of the contemporary classics Chocolat and Am矇lie. Balthazar Jones has lived in the Tower of London with his loving wife, Hebe, and his 120-year-old pet tortoise for the past eight years. That's right, he is a Beefeater (they really do live there). It's no easy job living and working in the tourist attraction in present-day London. Among the eccentric characters who call the Tower's maze of ancient buildings and spiral staircases home are the Tower's Rack & Ruin barmaid, Ruby Dore, who just found out she's pregnant; portly Valerie Jennings, who is falling for ticket inspector Arthur Catnip; the lifelong bachelor Reverend Septimus Drew, who secretly pens a series of principled erot­ica; and the philandering Ravenmaster, aiming to avenge the death of one of his insufferable ravens. When Balthazar is tasked with setting up an elaborate menagerie within the Tower walls to house the many exotic animals gifted to the Queen, life at the Tower gets all the more interest­ing. Penguins escape, giraffes are stolen, and the Komodo dragon sends innocent people running for their lives. Balthazar is in charge and things are not exactly running smoothly. Then Hebe decides to leave him and his beloved tortoise "runs" away. Filled with the humor and heart that calls to mind the delight­ful novels of Alexander McCall Smith, and the charm and beauty of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise is a magical, wholly origi­nal novel whose irresistible characters will stay with you long after you turn the stunning last page.
Wormwood
The residents of Wormwood, West Virginia, have seen their once-thriving town slip into obscurity and decay. Under the abysmal direction of the business and civic leaders, life has sunk to new lows. Of course new ideas are always welcome-as long as they line the pockets of those in charge. So most everyone has pretty much come to accept things as they are. Besides, what else could go wrong in a town with no future? Who would even bother trying to make an even bigger mess of things? Mayor Little Dick Fleming is trying to unload his methane gas-filled coal mines on the city so he can get out from under the enormous cost of fixing them, hopefully before the town goes up in flames-and he wants a convention center built in his honor in the process. Karl Lamb, a self-styled marketing guru and slaughterhouse owner, is making one last, desperate attempt to stay afloat financially-by using the town's pets as the key to his demented, cost-reduction solution. Returning home after his last employer was shut down by the FBI, private investigator Ty Svenson launches his own business from a single-wide trailer with some serious structural issues. As Ty races to solve a murder and prevent a fresh round of civic atrocities, he falls for a former high school classmate-and a twenty-something librarian. While flood waters bear down on the city, Ty's dating dilemmas are resolved on live TV. It's just another day in Wormwood-and that's the problem.
Wormwood
The residents of Wormwood, West Virginia, have seen their once-thriving town slip into obscurity and decay. Under the abysmal direction of the business and civic leaders, life has sunk to new lows. Of course new ideas are always welcome-as long as they line the pockets of those in charge. So most everyone has pretty much come to accept things as they are. Besides, what else could go wrong in a town with no future? Who would even bother trying to make an even bigger mess of things? Mayor Little Dick Fleming is trying to unload his methane gas-filled coal mines on the city so he can get out from under the enormous cost of fixing them, hopefully before the town goes up in flames-and he wants a convention center built in his honor in the process. Karl Lamb, a self-styled marketing guru and slaughterhouse owner, is making one last, desperate attempt to stay afloat financially-by using the town's pets as the key to his demented, cost-reduction solution. Returning home after his last employer was shut down by the FBI, private investigator Ty Svenson launches his own business from a single-wide trailer with some serious structural issues. As Ty races to solve a murder and prevent a fresh round of civic atrocities, he falls for a former high school classmate-and a twenty-something librarian. While flood waters bear down on the city, Ty's dating dilemmas are resolved on live TV. It's just another day in Wormwood-and that's the problem.
Kidd's Country Grocery
Nestled deep in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Appalachia sits a quaint Mom & Pop Country Store. Behind it stands Peeled Chestnut Mountain believed to be named by the Cherokees and Shawnees after peeling the bark on one side of the chestnut trees to mark their hunting territories. The Native Americans are long gone, but the mountain and its beauty stand and paint a different backgrund for the store with each changing season. Sitting between Bramwell, West Virginia and Pocahontas, Virginia, the two towns have been left behind by the coal mining industry. The people remaining, however, stand as strong as the mountain itself. KIDD'S COUNTRY GROCERY portrays the trials and triumphs, struggles and determination that have made this country what it is. It offers a unique glimpse into a fading piece of Americana: the everyday family business in pursuit of survival, success and the opportunity to carve out a place in this world. Get read to laugh a lot and shake your head in amazement as you read about the day-to-day adventures of Barbara, Ray and little Jaime along with Aunt Pearl and the many customers that frequent their little store.
Kidd's Country Grocery
Nestled deep in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Appalachia sits a quaint Mom & Pop Country Store. Behind it stands Peeled Chestnut Mountain believed to be named by the Cherokees and Shawnees after peeling the bark on one side of the chestnut trees to mark their hunting territories. The Native Americans are long gone, but the mountain and its beauty stand and paint a different backgrund for the store with each changing season. Sitting between Bramwell, West Virginia and Pocahontas, Virginia, the two towns have been left behind by the coal mining industry. The people remaining, however, stand as strong as the mountain itself. KIDD'S COUNTRY GROCERY portrays the trials and triumphs, struggles and determination that have made this country what it is. It offers a unique glimpse into a fading piece of Americana: the everyday family business in pursuit of survival, success and the opportunity to carve out a place in this world. Get read to laugh a lot and shake your head in amazement as you read about the day-to-day adventures of Barbara, Ray and little Jaime along with Aunt Pearl and the many customers that frequent their little store.
Pest Takes a Chance
Gerry Burke writes short stories and commentary on subjects relating to politics, entertainment, sport, and travel. In this collection of humorous adult tales, Paddy Pest and the author's other notorious characters really come to life. Paddy Pest: As a crime fighter, the indefatigable Paddy Pest bumbles around, but he gets things done. His adventures and misadventures require him to confront his own demons, dames, debt-collectors and villains of every description. In his spare time, Paddy likes to relax at the casino, the track, or at his favorite gentlemen's club. The Achievers: Some people will do anything to get where they want to be. Here, politicians, film stars, sport stars, and intrepid entrepreneurs are each obsessively vying for their place in the sun. They have one thing in common: they're all in the hot seat. Transition: Evolution is not just a philosophical phenomenon; a change of job, an ambitious determination, or an ounce of luck can all be motivation enough to change one's circumstances-though not always for the better. Meet a gaggle of ordinary folks who do extraordinary things, mostly for their own benefit. Also available by Gerry Burke: From Beer to Paternity One man's journey through life as we know it Down-Under Shorts Stories to read while they're fumigating your pants
Pest Takes a Chance
Gerry Burke writes short stories and commentary on subjects relating to politics, entertainment, sport, and travel. In this collection of humorous adult tales, Paddy Pest and the author's other notorious characters really come to life. Paddy Pest: As a crime fighter, the indefatigable Paddy Pest bumbles around, but he gets things done. His adventures and misadventures require him to confront his own demons, dames, debt-collectors and villains of every description. In his spare time, Paddy likes to relax at the casino, the track, or at his favorite gentlemen's club. The Achievers: Some people will do anything to get where they want to be. Here, politicians, film stars, sport stars, and intrepid entrepreneurs are each obsessively vying for their place in the sun. They have one thing in common: they're all in the hot seat. Transition: Evolution is not just a philosophical phenomenon; a change of job, an ambitious determination, or an ounce of luck can all be motivation enough to change one's circumstances-though not always for the better. Meet a gaggle of ordinary folks who do extraordinary things, mostly for their own benefit. Also available by Gerry Burke: From Beer to Paternity One man's journey through life as we know it Down-Under Shorts Stories to read while they're fumigating your pants
No New Jokes
At Bald Sam's luncheonette in Brooklyn, Izzy and his friends Archie Feinstein, Jack Goldfarb, Benny Kubbleman, and Meyer Woolf gather to eat, to watch the Dodgers on TV, and to share their hopes and their fears. But most of all, Izzy and his friends tell jokes. They've heard them all before, but in this time and place, jokes are their best defense against the sense of powerlessness that pervades in a world fraught with uncertainty. Izzy has been a boxer and a World War II soldier; and he carries in his head not only shrapnel from the Battle of Monte Cassino but also the memory of his father lying dead on a muddy street in Poland. Now a street singer, Izzy plays his concertina in the courtyard for a woman who invites him up for companionship and jokes, he reluctantly lets himself be set up on a date with Meyer's niece Celia, and he befriends a troubled librarian, as all the while he struggles to find his way back from his own war.
Nothing Happened and Then It Did
In the great American tradition of funny road narratives from Mark Twain to Hunter S. Thompson a young journalist searches for his first big break down the lonesome highways of the Southwest and northern Mexico. Alternating chapters of fiction and nonfiction provide a hilarious account of Jake Silverstein s misadventures on the hunt for an elusive magazine article a journey that becomes a quest to understand the purpose of journalism and the nature of storytelling."
The Hand of Ethelberta. a Comedy in Chapters. with Eleven Illustrations by George Du Maurier. Vol. I.
Title: The hand of Ethelberta. A comedy in chapters ... With eleven illustrations [by George Du Maurier], etc.Publisher: British Library, Historical Print EditionsThe British Library is the national library of the United Kingdom. It is one of the world's largest research libraries holding over 150 million items in all known languages and formats: books, journals, newspapers, sound recordings, patents, maps, stamps, prints and much more. Its collections include around 14 million books, along with substantial additional collections of manuscripts and historical items dating back as far as 300 BC.The NOVELS OF THE 18th & 19th CENTURIES collection includes books from the British Library digitised by Microsoft. The collection includes major and minor works from a period which saw the development and triumph of the English novel. These classics were written for a range of audiences and will engage any reading enthusiast. ++++The below data was compiled from various identification fields in the bibliographic record of this title. This data is provided as an additional tool in helping to insure edition identification: ++++ British Library Hardy, Thomas; 1876. 2 vol.: plates. 22 cm. 12637.k.13.
Stories from Potowasso
The cultural upheaval of the 1960s and beyond was obvious and at times overpowering to the generation of youth fully enmeshed in its violence. Not only was the peaceful family image of Leave It to Beaver defunct, but the Beatles were raging on the airwaves, and nonconformity ruled supreme. Even so, there was peace and comfort in small-town life, sheltered from mainstream politics, war, and disruption. Stories from Potowasso rekindles memories of a gentler time. Although told within the same time frame, these stories focus on small-town life, lived through the eyes of its townspeople. There was the time Pastor Quark discovered that being "one of the guys" during hunting season wasn't as easy as he thought. Or the time when young Butch, Runt, and Burhead struggled through unease at the approach of their first junior-high dances. Life in Potowasso was simpler, slower, and filled with the wisdom of common sense. Although shielded from outside turbulence, the Potowasso church congregation was not necessarily shielded from personal turbulence. But their faith in God, strength of character, and unshakable friendships kept them strong. Times change, of course, but the basic lessons of life seem to always be there if you're willing to look and, most importantly, willing to laugh.
Stories from Potowasso
The cultural upheaval of the 1960s and beyond was obvious and at times overpowering to the generation of youth fully enmeshed in its violence. Not only was the peaceful family image of Leave It to Beaver defunct, but the Beatles were raging on the airwaves, and nonconformity ruled supreme. Even so, there was peace and comfort in small-town life, sheltered from mainstream politics, war, and disruption. Stories from Potowasso rekindles memories of a gentler time. Although told within the same time frame, these stories focus on small-town life, lived through the eyes of its townspeople. There was the time Pastor Quark discovered that being "one of the guys" during hunting season wasn't as easy as he thought. Or the time when young Butch, Runt, and Burhead struggled through unease at the approach of their first junior-high dances. Life in Potowasso was simpler, slower, and filled with the wisdom of common sense. Although shielded from outside turbulence, the Potowasso church congregation was not necessarily shielded from personal turbulence. But their faith in God, strength of character, and unshakable friendships kept them strong. Times change, of course, but the basic lessons of life seem to always be there if you're willing to look and, most importantly, willing to laugh.
Promises, Promises
Sandy Blunt, witch, has big dreams but C-average magic skills. Her only noteworthy talent is for paying extravagant compliments to women. Trouble is, when she uses that gift, she unwittingly foretells the future for a pretty princess. The punishment for prophesying about one of royal blood is death. With the help of ill-assorted companions, including a self-professed princess in disguise with a wild imagination, a self-absorbed member of the royal guard, and the not-so-average girl next door, Sandy has a year and a day to travel to far-flung places--encountering such dangerous creatures as a dragon who writes awful poetry, slovely elves, and boarding house landladies--to collect the weird and magical items needed to turn her prophecies into promises and so evade the executioner.
Srsly, Wtf?
You get to the store and realize you forgot your wallet... Your roommate eats all your food... Your party's just getting started and the cops show up... A coworker passes your idea off as his own... Your last hook-up leaves you with the gift that keeps on giving... Can things get any f*#!-ing worse? SRSLY, WTF?! The WTF? team's back at it--collecting the most f*#!-ed up scenarios from their bestselling series. Step by step, they take you through the inventively therapeutic, occasionally offensive, sometimes illegal, always hilarious solutions that've made the series a f*#!-ing hit. Whether you're on the job, on the town, or on the toilet without any TP--you'll be able to relate to these sh*tty situations that have you shouting, "Seriously, what the f*#!?"
Poetry for Animals
There are millions of books written about animals, but only two books in the world written specifically for animals-and the book Poetry for Animals is one of them.* Of course you may find that when you read these poems to an animal it will look surprised and uncomprehending, but this is not because the animal doesn't understand what you are saying. It is merely because no one has ever taken the trouble to read to it before, and it will only be a matter of time before the animal you are reading to will express its pleasure by purring in your lap, or cavorting gaily about its enclosure, or by gnawing on your skull, or by flying away never to be seen again. Focus-group studies have shown, however, that it is members of your species who tend actually to buy and read books of poems, thus this collection was written specifically with you in mind. * The other is Stories for Animals, available at fine bookstores and from woodland creatures everywhere. Recommended for Homo sapiens age 12+
Bite Me
"Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word."--Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore's wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore's latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight--but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, "Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination" from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver's Rocky Mountain News to declare him, "the 21st century's best satirist."
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Sausages
Polly is a real estate solicitor. She is also losing her mind. Someone keeps drinking her coffee. And talking to her clients. And doing her job. And when she goes to the dry cleaner's to pick up her dress for the party, it's not there. Not the dress -- the dry cleaner's. And then there are the chickens who think they are people. Something strange is definitely going on -- and it's going to take more than a magical ring to sort it out. From one of the funniest voices in comic fiction today comes a hilarious tale of pigs and parallel worlds.
Undying
November 2004: George W. Bush is re-elected. Five days later, Alan Meister, a New York professor of philosophy, is diagnosed with lymphoma--not that he can prove the two are connected. While coping with the rigors of chemotherapy, Alan begins work on a long-postponed book titled The Health of a Sick Man, arguing that the core of Friedrich Nietzsche's philosophical thought was a decades-long attempt to cope with his lifelong incapacities--his blinding headaches, upset stomach, weak vision, and all-around frailty, not least his vexed relations with women. As Alan's treatment proceeds, he finds relief by imagining Nietzsche not as a historical figure, but as a character in his daily life, a reminder that his own heart continues to beat. Rooted in the author's personal experience with lymphoma, this novel is a compound of reminiscences, aphorisms, anecdotes, and encounters: with Alan's errant daughter Natasha, who has returned home to help care for him; with mortal friends; with a mysterious hospital roommate; with students; with contemporary life as it reaches him through the newspapers and his readings. Steady, spare, and often bracingly funny, Undying cries out in a robust voice: I am.
Alice in Corporateland
"Joan's clever twist on Lewis Carroll's classic is not only wildly entertaining and just plain fun, but thought-provoking as well ... a message that should most certainly be heard." -Lise Marinelli, Author of Falling from the Moon Forty-something Alice is about to enter a corporate fairytale like no other. As she prepares to leave for the first job interview she has had in twenty years, a large rabbit dressed in a pin-striped suit peers through her window. The rabbit, who boasts of double PhD degrees in mismanagement and sexual misconduct, is just one of the zany characters who will soon accompany her on her wild ride through Corporateland-an unforgettable place inundated with paper and absurd animals who talk in enigmatic riddles. After Alice manages to escape a paper pit, she encounters an egomaniac dodo bird, a reptilian paper pusher, and a roomful of overeager young executive giraffes. But even the Human Resources Cat, who advises Alice to keep walking, cannot help her escape the wrath of the Duchess of Downsteepysizing. After Alice finds herself in the midst of the bizarre downsizing games, she soon discovers that being logical and reasonable will lead her straight to nowhere.
Alice in Corporateland
"Joan's clever twist on Lewis Carroll's classic is not only wildly entertaining and just plain fun, but thought-provoking as well ... a message that should most certainly be heard." -Lise Marinelli, Author of Falling from the Moon Forty-something Alice is about to enter a corporate fairytale like no other. As she prepares to leave for the first job interview she has had in twenty years, a large rabbit dressed in a pin-striped suit peers through her window. The rabbit, who boasts of double PhD degrees in mismanagement and sexual misconduct, is just one of the zany characters who will soon accompany her on her wild ride through Corporateland-an unforgettable place inundated with paper and absurd animals who talk in enigmatic riddles. After Alice manages to escape a paper pit, she encounters an egomaniac dodo bird, a reptilian paper pusher, and a roomful of overeager young executive giraffes. But even the Human Resources Cat, who advises Alice to keep walking, cannot help her escape the wrath of the Duchess of Downsteepysizing. After Alice finds herself in the midst of the bizarre downsizing games, she soon discovers that being logical and reasonable will lead her straight to nowhere.
