Drink, Play, F@#k
In Drink, Play, F@#k Bob Sullivan, a jilted husband, sets off to explore the world, experience a meaningful connection with the divine, and rediscover his passion. His travels lead him from his home in New York City to a drinking bender across Ireland, through the glitz and glamour that is Las Vegas, and to the hedonistic pleasure palaces of Thailand. After a lifetime of playing it safe, Mr. Sullivan finally follows his heart and lives out everyone's deepest fantasies. For who among us hasn't dreamed of standing stark naked, head upturned, and mouth agape beneath a cascading torrent of Guinness Stout? What could be more exhilarating than losing every penny you have because Charlie Weiss went for a meaningless last-second field goal? And what sensate creature could ever doubt that the greatest pleasure known to man can be found in a leaky bamboo shack filled with glassy-eyed, bruised Asian hookers? Bob Sullivan has a lot to teach us about life. Let's just pray we have the wisdom to put aside our preconceptions and listen. Because what Bob Sullivan finds isn't at all what he expected.
Rock Bottom
Once, the Blood Orphans had it all: a million-dollar recording contract from Warner Brothers, killer hooks, and cheekbones that could cut glass. Four pretty boys from Los Angeles, they were supposed to be the next big thing, future kings of rock and roll. But something happened on the way to glory, and now, two years later, along with their coke-fueled, mohawked female manager, they have washed up in Amsterdam for the final show of their doomed and dismal European tour. The singer has become a born-again Buddhist who preaches from the stage, the bass player's raging eczema has turned his hands into a pulpy mess, the drummer is a sex-fiend tormented by the misdeeds of his porn-king father, and the guitar player -- the only talented one -- is thoroughly cowed by the constant abuse of his bandmates. As they stumble through their final day together, the Blood Orphans find themselves on a comic tour of frustration, danger, excitement, and just possibly, redemption.
Kill Your Friends
AS the twentieth century breathes its very last, with Britpop at its zenith, twenty-seven-year-old A&R man Steven Stelfox is slashing and burning his way through London's music industry. Blithely crisscrossing the globe in search of the next megahit--fueled by greed and inhuman quantities of cocaine--Stelfox freely indulges in an unending orgy of self-gratification. But the industry is changing fast and the hits are drying up, and the only way he's going to salvage his sagging career is by taking the idea of "cutthroat" to murderous new levels.
Work Shirts for Madmen
Renegade artist Harp Spillman is lower than a bow-legged fire ant. Because of an unhealthy relationship with the bottle, he's ruined his reputation as one of the South's preeminent commissioned metal sculptors. And his desperate turn to ice sculpting nearly led to a posse of angry politicians on his trail. With the help of his levelheaded and practical potter wife, Raylou, Harp understands that it's time to return to the mig welder. Yes, it's time to prove that he can complete a series of twelve-foot-high metal angels--welded completely out of hex nuts--for the city of Birmingham. Is it pure chance that the Elbow Boys, their arms voluntarily fused so they can't drink, show up in order to help Harp out in a variety of ways? And why did his neighbor smuggle anteaters into desolate Ember Glow? Is it true that there's no free will?
Too Many Curses
The wizard Margle the Horrendous takes special pride in never killing his enemies. Instead, he transforms them into various accursed forms and locks them away in his castle. His halls are filled with his collection of fallen heroes and defeated villains, along with a few ordinary folk who were just unfortunate enough to draw Margle's attention. It's Nessy's duty to tend this castle. It's a lot of work, but she manages, taking pride in housekeeping talents that keep the castle from collapsing into chaos. But when Margle suddenly dies, everything begins to unravel. Nessy finds herself surrounded by monsters, curses, a door that should never be opened, and one very deadly dark wizardess. Nessy doesn't have might or magic on her side; she's just a kobold: short, furry, and sensible. Her allies aren't much better: a voice without a body, an angry fruit bat, a monster under her bed, a wizard in a jar (or some of him, anyway), and a one-eyed, one-horned, flying, purple, people eater. It would be smarter to walk away, but taking care of the castle is Nessy's job, and that's just what she intends to do. If only she could find time to polish the silver while beating back the forces of darkness.
Suzy, Led Zeppelin, and Me
Glasgow, 1972. All the coolest kids in town are lining up for Led Zeppelin tickets. Overhead, a Zeppelin approaches. Its passengers--Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Hank Williams--think it's worth leaving heaven to see the greatest rock band in the world. Even the fairies are fans. Meanwhile, nerdy Martin and his equally nerdy best friend Greg have overactive imaginations. When they aren't fighting the monstrous hordes of Xotha, they are competing for the attentions of a popular (read: unattainable) girl named Suzy. She's not likely to ditch Zed, the hippest boy in the school, for the likes of them, is she? Then again, with Led Zeppelin on the way, it feels like anything can happen. Suzy, Led Zeppelin, and Me takes readers on a ride through Martin's angsty and fumbling youth, when Led Zeppelin comes to Glasgow and rocks Martin's world, and through his angstridden and fumbling adult years, when he learns what can't be denied: love may break your heart, but Led Zeppelin will never let you down.
I'm with Stupid
A hilarious tale of girl meets boy, girl falls in lust, girl discovers boy is dumber than a box of hammers.
Calypso Greener Goes to Hollywood
Book Summary - Long The story opens with Calypso Greener, that most stalwart of politically correct journalists, winging his way out to Hollywood where he has an opportunity to star in a new game show, What Would You Do For A Million? He is very excited to be heading to that liberal nirvana, but on the plane, he meets up with left wing blogger, Yank Feral, a new breed of political warrior who very bluntly educates Calypso about the true nature of the brutish battle for America's soul. Nevertheless his rude treatment, Calypso's enthusiasm is unquenchable because he not only has a shot at winning a million dollars, but also a chance to become one of the beautiful people with whom he shares so much in common. Unfortunately, his first meeting with the producer of the show - the odious billionaire media mogul, Flash Flake - goes horribly wrong, but because of an ulterior motive, Flake gives Calypso a second chance and even invites him to a Halloween party at the Fleshpot palace. To mingle with the Fleshpot Beavers is a dream come true for Calypso and at the palace, he runs into assorted liberal wackos and even America's foremost enemy, Osama Bin Laden, who has not only found the perfect hiding place, but apparently enjoys a very friendly relationship with the Hollywood elite. True to form, Calypso gets wasted at the party and then spends the night with a woman whom he thinks is Flash Flake's niece. The next morning he runs out on her, thinking he has blown his chance at stardom, but his faithful limo driver convinces him to pursue his dream and thus Calypso meets with the very weird bigwigs of Flash Flake Studios, getting to see first hand the lunacy that passes for high style in Hollywood. Though continually spurned, Calypso's lust to become one of the beautiful people is insatiable and he gratefully accepts an invitation to Flake's mansion for a barbecue. Once there, he deduces that Flake is out to get him and hides, thus becoming an accidental witness to an infamous historical event - a face-to-face meeting between the Democrat Congressional leadership and Osama Bin Laden! Calypso gets caught by the terrorists, but is rescued by Flake because he wants to use Calypso as a pawn in the game show, but, by wits and guile, Calypso ostensibly outfoxes the overweening billionaire and puts himself on a sure track to win the million dollar prize. The shrewd Flake plays along, even feting Calypso during a celebrity gala hosted by Hypocritical Whore and the High Priestess of the Church of Global Warming, Mother Climate-Change, but the billionaire media mogul is a shameless double dealer and because of his machinations, Calypso loses out on the million and is humiliated on national television. Thus, the stalwart liberal reporter must head back to Washington DC with his tail between his legs, forced to kowtow to Yank Feral, who has had a very profitable visit to the left coast.
The Diaries of Adam and Eve and Other Stories
"Good deal of fog this morning. I do not go out in the fog myself," notes Adam in his diary, adding, "The new creature does. It goes out in all weathers. And talks. It used to be so pleasant and quiet here."Adam has a lot to learn about Eve, and even more from her, as she names the animals, discovers fire, and introduces all manner of innovations to their garden home. Mark Twain's "translation" of the diaries of the first man and woman offers a humorous "he said/she said" narrative of biblical events. The great American storyteller found comfort and inspiration in the company of women, and his irreverent look at conventional religion is also a thoughtful -- and humorous -- argument for gender equality.In addition to the tales from Eden, this collection features five short stories: "The $30,000 Bequest," "Was It Heaven? Or Hell?" "Edward Mills and George Benton: A Tale," "The Californian's Tale," and "A Monument to Adam."
Diminished Capacity
Dimished Capacity from Sherwood Kiraly tells the humorous story about an unlikely trio who hatch a plan to sell a rare baseball card--the basis for the motion picture starring Matthew Broderick, Alan Alda, and Virginia Madsen. The townsfolk once voted him the strangest man in Missouri, but he turned the honor down, claiming it was "just a popularity contest." He has baited hooks connected to the keys of an old typewriter by the side of the Mississippi, so the local fish can write poetry. He keeps stacks of old newspapers piled up to his bedroom ceiling, and he doesn't know why. They don't get much more eccentric than old Rollie Zerbs of LaPorte, Missouri. But he does have one thing going for him--a rare 1909 Chicago Cubs tobacco baseball card, one of the most valuable cards in existence. And even though he can't remember where he just put it, he's on his way to Chicago to see what the card will bring...
Swine Not?
Bestselling writer Jimmy Buffett weaves an irresistible tale filled with colorful characters, wry humor, and the pursuit of a very clever pig. When Southern belle Ellie McBride moves her twins from Vertigo, to New York City, they wouldn't dream of leaving behind the family pig Rumpy. But the posh hotel where Ellie has found work (and living space) has "No Pets" writ large on its portal. So hiding Rumpy from the hotel staff -- -especially the ultra-carnivorous hotel chef, who would like nothing better than to transform their pet into pork roast -- -becomes imperative.
No!
Read Virginia Ironside's posts on the Penguin Blog. A screamingly funny and poignant story about embracing life beyond middle age Marie Sharp is heading toward sixty and is just fine with it. She's already had plenty of excitement in her life: sex and drugs in the freewheeling sixties, career and children, marriage and divorce. Now she's ready to settle into a quiet, blissfully boring routine. No Italian classes or gym memberships or bicycle trips across Europe, thank you very much! Marie just wants to put her feet up and "start doing old things." She's even sworn off men! But as it turns out, life still has some surprises in store, the biggest of which is a new grandson on the way. What's more, Archie, her old childhood crush, suddenly reenters her life, and her closest friend falls seriously ill. Armed with a biting sense of humor, Marie wrestles with a life that refuses to follow her plans--and may still offer more possibilities than she realizes.
Miss Julia Strikes Back
The irresistible, indefatigable Miss Julia is back, turning the tables on a thief who chose the wrong belle to burgle. Don't miss Ann Ross's latest, Miss Julia Raises the Roof, coming April 2018 from Viking. Having earned a devoted following for her rollicking antics and unshakable poise, Miss Julia's eighth outing begins with an unfortunate discovery. Her cherished engagement ring-an exact replica of Princess Di's-turns up missing after a party, making her the latest target of a Florida- based gang who, according to Sergeant Coleman Bates, has been denuding Dixie of its jewelry. Incensed, Miss Julia packs Little Lloyd into the car and heads south to claim what is rightfully hers-and to show the feds that there's more than one way to do reconnaissance: selling the Good Book!
Sweet Georgia Brown
Meet Georgia Brown-a humble housewife determined to become a household name.... After eleven years of marriage, Georgia Brown is fed up with her husband, Marvin, a popular radio personality. It's not just because she suspects he's having an affair, or because she's suddenly expected to raise his thirteen-year-old daughter, Chloe-whom she never even knew existed. It's because of the comments he makes about her weight, their marriage, and their sex life...on national radio! Now, to save their marriage, Marvin invites Georgia to the station for an on-air rebuttal, having no idea it will launch her career. Or that what began as a battle at home will now be a blistering war for all to hear....
The Garden of Eden
As touching as it is humorous, The Garden of Eden is a parable for our time with a powerful and ultimately redemptive ending that speaks to oft underappreciated virtues such as loyalty (sticking with those you love even when they screw up royally), tolerance, and forgiveness. It's also about the values that keep America together---the simple solutions ordinary people find to keep their small communities strong.Trooper Sam Neely is fresh out of the State Police academy and finds himself assigned to the dullest backwater town he's never heard of. Things heat up quickly in Eden, U.S.A., however, when Ed Harris, the banker, finds his wife in bed with his best friend, Hayden Elkins. Ed picks up a shotgun, escorts them both to the door, and tells friend Hayden, "Guess what? She's yours!""I've got a wife, Ed," says Hayden."Now you have two. . . ."Forced to take his paramour to live under his own roof (after all, they had only intended to share an afternoon of delight, not to leave their spouses), Hayden suddenly finds himself the butt of every joke in town. That's where things start to spin out of control.Before long, Elijah Murphy, the town drunk, and the snooping widow next door, to whom he'd exposed himself, are falling in love; sleazy Sheriff's Deputy Delmar Clay is about to get a butt-full of birdshot for the pictures he's been snapping of young couples getting hot and heavy in parked cars; and the Barrow Boys are out of jail and looking for trouble. Soon, Neely finds that managing the crises in the sticks is a full-time job, and it takes a whole community---from the compassionate local magistrate to the new female preacher---to keep things from exploding big-city style.
Love over Scotland
44 SCOTLAND STREET - Book 3 The residents and neighbors of 44 Scotland Street and the city of Edinburgh come to vivid life in these gently satirical, wonderfully perceptive serial novels, featuring six-year-old Bertie, a remarkably precocious boy--just ask his mother. This just in from Edinburgh: the complicated lives of the denizens of 44 Scotland Street are becoming no simpler. Domenica Macdonald has left for the Malacca Straits to conduct a perilous anthropological study of pirate households. Angus Lordie's dog, Cyril, has been stolen, and is facing an uncertain future wandering the streets. Bertie, the prodigiously talented six-year-old, is still enduring psychotherapy, but his burden is lightened by a junior orchestra's trip to Paris, where he makes some interesting new friends. Back in Edinburgh, there is romance for Pat with a handsome young man called Wolf, until she begins to see the attractions of the more prosaically named Matthew.Teeming with McCall Smith's wonderful wit and charming depictions of Edinburgh, Love Over Scotland is another beautiful ode to a city and its people that continue to fascinate this astounding author.
The Fourth Bear
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - Enter the seedy underbelly of nursery crime, where characters are never as they seem, in this "brilliantly, breathlessly odd" (USA Today) novel from the renowned author of The Big Over Easy and the Thursday Next series. "Like the best novels of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Fforde goes beyond his genre."--Los Angeles Times Book Review "Jasper Fforde is able to write diabolically. . . . Outrageous satirical agility is his stock in trade."--The New York Times Detective Jack Spratt and Sergeant Mary Mary long to collar the Gingerbreadman--psychopath, sadist, criminal genius, cookie--who's at large in Reading. Instead, they're demoted to searching for missing journalist Henrietta "Goldy" Hatchett. The last witnesses to see her alive were the reclusive three bears, and Jack thinks something's odd about their story. How could that porridge be too hot, too cold, and just right if it was poured at the same time? The question is: was there a fourth bear?
School of Fortune
A fun, fresh frolic of a novel starring a spoiled but lovable Texas heiress out to reclaim her fortune Pippa Walker's wedding was to be huge--Texas huge--complete with twelve bridesmaids under contract from Pippa's mother to stay lean and long-haired, gondolas flown in from Venice, A- and B- guest lists. But when Pippa finds out her handsome husband-to-be isn't what she thought, she bolts from her own wedding, shocking society and getting herself disinherited. The only way she can get a piece of the family fortune back is to earn a degree from a school. Any school. It's a tough assignment for a girl who dropped out of SMU after pledging Kappa Kappa Gamma and shopping at Neiman's for a year. But Pippa is nothing if not up for a challenge. Attracting one hilarious misadventure after another, she tries to earn her sheepskin at: driving school, matchmaking school, even a circus academy. It's only when she hits rock-bottom--The Mountbatten Savoy School of Household Management--that things begin to look up. But can she really be falling in love with a...valet? "Great, silly fun, guaranteed to be seen at a beach near you." - Kirkus Reviews
The Best of Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) was perhaps the most widely acclaimed British humorist of the twentieth century. Throughout his career, he brilliantly examined the complex and idiosyncratic nature of English upper-crust society with hilarious insight and wit. The works in this volume provide a wonderful introduction to Wodehouse's work and his unique talent for joining fantastic plots with authentic emotion. In The Code of the Woosters, Wodehouse's most famous duo, Bertie Wooster and his unflappable valet Jeeves, risks all to steal a cream jug. Uncle Fred in the Springtime, part of the famous Blandings Castle series, follows Uncle Fred as he attempts to ruin the Duke of Blandings while he is preoccupied with his favorite pig. Fourteen stories feature some of Wodehouse's most memorable characters, and three autobiographical pieces provide a revealing look into Wodehouse's life. With his gift for hilarity and his ever-human tone, Wodehouse and his work have never felt more lively. With a New Introduction by John Mortimer
Save Your Own
Meet Gillian Cormier-Brandenburg: a virginal, narcoleptic, atheistic Harvard Divinity School student struggling to finish her Ph.D. thesis. When her fellowship is revoked, Gillian must venture outside the walls of academia in search of a new source of income as well as interview subjects for her dissertation. She takes a job at Responsibility House, a halfway house for recovering addicts. Here pintsize Gillian is charged with the unlikely task of imposing order on unruly tenants, including motorcycle-obsessed Janet, impulsive former prostitute Florine, and self-righteous Stacy, who begin to inspire her to rethink her own dreams and desires. A delightful read for all those who have ever wished they could be a little more than they are, Save Your Own is the perfect self-made Cinderella story.
Significant Others
Inspiration for the Netflix Limited Series, Tales of the CityThe fifth novel in the beloved Tales of the City series, Armistead Maupin's best-selling San Francisco saga.Tranquillity reigns in the ancient redwood forest until a women-only music festival sets up camp downriver from an all-male retreat for the ruling class. Among those entangled in the ensuing mayhem are a lovesick nurseryman, a panic-stricken philanderer, and the world's most beautiful fat woman. Significant Others is Armistead Maupin's cunningly observed meditation on marriage, friendship, and sexual nostalgia.
Tales of the City
The first novel in the beloved Tales of the City series, Armistead Maupin's bestselling San Francisco saga, and inspiration for the Netflix original series, Tales of the City"A consummate entertainer who has made a generation laugh. . . . It is Maupin's Dickensian gift to be able to render love convincingly."-- Edmund White, Times Literary SupplementFor almost four decades Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City has blazed its own trail through popular culture--from a groundbreaking newspaper serial to a classic novel, to a television event that entranced millions around the world. The first of ten novels about the denizens of the mythic apartment house at 28 Barbary Lane, Tales is both a sparkling comedy of manners and an indelible portrait of an era that changed forever the way we live.
The Lunatic
Aloysius is the village madman, tolerated by neighbors but forced to eke out a living doing odd jobs. His only company are the animals, trees, and bushes of the woodlands in which he resides, on the outskirts of a village in the hills of St. Ann, on the island of Jamaica. Aloysius is lonely. Admittedly, the animals, trees, and especially the bushes have a lot to say, and undeniably, the flame heart tree is a true friend, but Aloysius has no human friends.Then love, or a peculiar version of it, comes to Aloysius in the form of a solidly built German tourist, Inga Schmidt. Inga encounters a sleeping Aloysius when she is traversing the countryside photographing the island's flora and fauna. Thereafter, to the trees' horror and the bushes' and village's disapproval, Aloysius's world is turned upside down as he finds himself hurtling along in a series of crazy escapades with his newfound love. For Inga, this madman is a revelation. Lunatic or not, Aloysius is capable of satisfying Inga's libido as frequently as she desires. But the romantic idyll is bruised when Inga invites a local butcher to join a m矇nage ? trois, and shattered when the trio decides to burgle the house of Busha McIntosh . . .In this outrageously out-of-order, hilarious novel, the reader discovers that madness is by no means restricted to Aloysius, and that goodness and forgiveness may be rarer qualities found in unexpected places.
Swapping Lives
The New York Times bestselling author of Falling and Sister Stardust presents a charming transatlantic take on trading places... Being director of Poise! magazine affords Vicky Townsley a glamorous London life. She has everything she wants--except marriage, children, and a house in the country. Amber Winslow has a stone mansion in Connecticut, two kids, and a nanny. She loves her husband and her children, but that doesn't mean she can't fantasize about a taste of something a little more...exciting. When a single Londoner and a Connecticut mother get the chance to walk in each other's shoes for a month things are bound to get interesting. But as they quickly learn, wanting something and actually getting it are two entirely different things...
The Interruption of Everything
From #1 New York Times bestselling author Terry McMillan comes a "frank, no-holds-barred, humorous look at African-American midlife" (The Seattle Times). "Being a lifetime wife and mother has afforded me the luxury of having multiple and even simultaneous careers: I've been a chauffeur. A chef. An interior decorator. A landscape architect, as well as a gardener. I've been a painter. A furniture restorer. A personal shopper. A veterinarian's assistant and sometimes the veterinarian. I've been an accountant, a banker, and on occasion, a broker. I've been a beautician. A map. A psychic. Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. The T.V. Guide. A movie reviewer. An angel. God. A nurse and a nursemaid. A psychiatrist and psychologist. Evangelist. For a long time I have felt like I inadvertently got my master's in How to Take Care of Everybody Except Yourself and then a PhD in How to Pretend Like You Don't Mind. But I do mind." Today forty-four year old Marilyn Grimes has decided to be something other than a wife, a mother, a sister, or a daughter: herself. But first, she has to figure out exactly who that is....
Just a Couple of Days
Blip Korterly kicks off a game of graffiti tag on a local overpass by painting a simple phrase: "Uh-oh." An anonymous interlocutor writes back: "When?" Blip slyly answers: "Just a couple of days." But what happens in just a couple of days? Blip is arrested; his friend, Dr. Flake Fountain--a molecular biologist--is drafted into a shadow-government research project conducting experiments on humans. The virus being tested--cleverly called "the Pied Piper"--renders its victims incapable of symbolic capacity; that is, incapable of communication. Is this biological weaponry? What would happen if it were let loose on the world? Does a babbling populace pose a threat or provide an opportunity for social evolution? This novel's absurd, larger-than-life characters speak in exuberant prose that is as satirical as it is playful, as full of implications as it is full of mirth. It's no wonder Just a Couple of Days has become an underground cult classic. This grassroots phenomenon will reach even more soon-to-be fans in its newly updated Harvest edition-- complete with an excerpt from the author's next book!
The Monkey Wrench Gang
"A thing of beauty. . . . A wildly funny, infinitely wise, near to tragic tale of man against the bog god machine." --Houston ChronicleEdward Abbey's classic tale of rebellion, camaraderie, and environmental justice--a prescient, comic masterpiece of destructive mayhem and outrageous civil disobedience that speaks to us todayEx-Green Beret George Hayduke has returned from war to find his beloved Southwestern desert threatened by industrial development. Joining with Bronx exile and feminist saboteur Bonnie Abzug, wilderness guide and outcast Mormon Seldom Seen Smith, and libertarian billboard torcher Doc Sarvis, M.D., Hayduke is ready to fight the power--taking on the strip miners, clear-cutters, and the highway, dam, and bridge builders who are threatening the natural habitat. The Monkey Wrench Gang is on the move--and peaceful coexistence be damned!
The Good Omens 好預兆
The classic collaboration from the internationally bestselling authors Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, now an original series starring Michael Sheen and David Tennant.Season 2 of Good Omens coming soon!"Good Omens . . . is something like what would have happened if Thomas Pynchon, Tom Robbins and Don DeLillo had collaborated. Lots of literary inventiveness in the plotting and chunks of very good writing and characterization. It's a wow. It would make one hell of a movie. Or a heavenly one. Take your pick."--Washington PostAccording to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655, before she exploded), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just before dinner.So the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon--both of whom have lived amongst Earth's mortals since The Beginning and have grown rather fond of the lifestyle--are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture.And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist . . .
My Lucky Star
In this hilarious, laser-sharp comedy, the Emmy-winning writer and producer of Frasier sends up Hollywood pretense higher than it's ever been sent before.
Hot and Bothered
She's offbeat, off balance, and at times off-the-wall, a late-thirties mother of two living in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and trying to figure out who she is now that her husband has left her. He's a rat, anyway, and currently attends Sex Addicts Anonymous. He still comes by the house, though, as do her hippie, macrobiotic mother; her feisty, alcoholic best friend; her God-fearing grandmother; and that Perfect Guy, the one with the beatific son who plays with her daughter, the one who happens to have a winning smile, wild black hair, a professorship at Harvard--and (drats!) a gorgeous doctor girlfriend. Told in short takes that perfectly mimic the frantic nature of our busy lives, Hot and Bothered follows its heroine through the streets of Cambridge, where she spends far too much time staring into space and sipping mocha lattes with extra whipped cream; to church, where she prays for a little salvation; to Alaska, where she believes a rugged outdoorsman might just be that salvation; and to Cape Cod, where, in a little house by the sea, she might finally see the light. Annie Downey has written an updated Cinderella story for all single moms.
Make Love--the Bruce Campbell Way
"This approach generates some of the most witty showbiz lunacy since This Is Spinal Tap."---Sacramento News & Review What you're reading right now is known as the "flap copy." This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book are cooked down to fit this space. But how does one do that? Do you reveal pivotal plot points like the one at the end of the book where the little girl on crutches points an accusing finger and shouts, "The killer is Mr. Potter"?I have too much respect for you as an attention-deficient consumer to attempt such an obvious ruse. But let's not play games here. You picked up the book already, so you either: A. Know who I am B. Liked the cool smoking jacket I'm wearing on the coverC. Have just discovered that the bookstore restroom is out of toilet paper Is it a sequel to my autobiography If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor? Sadly, no, which made it much harder to write. According to my publisher, I haven't "done" enough since 2001 to warrant another memoir. Is it an "autobiographical novel"? Yes. I'm the lead character in the story, and I'm a real person, and everything in the book actually happened, except for the stuff that didn't. The action revolves around my preparations for a pivotal role in the A-list relationship film Let's Make Love! But my Homeric attempt to break through the glass ceiling of B-grade genre fare is hampered by a vengeful studio executive and a production that becomes infected by something called the "B movie virus," symptoms of which include excessive use of cheesy special effects, slapstick, and projectile vomiting. From a violent fistfight with a Buddhist to a life-altering stint in federal prison, this novel has it all. And if the 72,444 words are too time-consuming, there are lots and lots of cool graphics.Regards, Bruce "Don't Call Me Ash" Campbell Praise for Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way "It's a great, goofy what-if."---Entertainment Weekly "Ultimately, Make Love is a Bruce Campbell novel, starring Bruce Campbell, written for Bruce Campbell fans for whom Bruce Campbell can do no wrong. They'll no doubt find Campbell's latest endeavor nothing short of---to quote one of his most famous characters---groovy."---The Onion "One of the most delightfully deranged experiences you'll have reading this year. Hail to the king, baby."---Rue Morgue
Confessions of Super Mom
According to my thirteen-year-old son, every superhero has an origin. My origin is a little embarrassing. I wasn't put into a rocket and sent to Earth by my parents. I wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider. No, I was merely the innocent victim of a Horrible Swiffer Accident....Strange things are happening to divorced mother of two Birdie Lee since the Horrible Swiffer Accident. She can sense danger (for example, a carload of speeding teenagers not wearing their seat belts) and spring into action with superhuman speed. She can find out what her daughter is up to on the Internet without even having to snoop. And she's got cleaning powers ordinary women can only dream of....Warm, witty, and full of heart, Confessions of Super Mom is the tale of a woman who dares to take a stand against everything from stubborn stains to smug exs to corporate CEOs--and winds up defeating evil in some very unexpected ways.
The Grrl Genius Guide to Sex with Other People
Who better to advise you on sex and relationships than a woman who has consistently failed at both? In this laugh out loud funny "self-help novel", self proclaimed genius and author Cathryn Michon provides a how not to guide for anyone tackling the daunting task of finding romance in today's world (or at the local fire station.) Chock full of instructive relationship tips-such as the Pros and "Cons" of dating a man in prison-The Grrl Genius Guide to Sex (With Other People) is hilarious and right on the money both as an instructional guide and an endearingly romantic story about a woman and her four best friends who form The Grrl Genius Club. Armed with the information from Cathryn's Wild Sexual Animal Kingdom research and her "Love is Important but Chocolate is Essential" Chocolate Fun Facts, her posse of Grrl Geniuses struggle with singlehood, married life, sexual preferences, widowhood, and friendship. Cathryn's journey veers from a "nails-on-chalkboard-scratchingly-awful" divorce and the botched kidnapping of her own dog, to pretending to be a lesbian, seeing her old lingerie sold on her old front lawn by her ex-husband's girlfriend, losing her job, and a tragic industrial accident-level bikini wax. And through everything, Cathryn searches for the answer to the most important relationship question of all: why are all the best men gay? If you've ever been tempted to have sex with another person, this is an essential read. If you've ever felt inadequate to a task or a failure at love or in any way anything less than a genius and you've sunk so low that even a new pair of cute shoes won't help, Cathryn Michon can show you the way to relationship happiness-all you have to do is learn from her very funny mistakes. However badly you think you've done anything, Cathryn has done it even worse, and reveals lessons learned in the wryly witty and devastatingly honest style that has made her the favorite of aspiring geniuses everywhere!
Freddy and Fredericka
A New York Times bestseller by Mark Helprin, author of Winter's Tale, which is now a major motion picture starring Colin Farrell, Jessica Brown Findlay, Russell Crowe, William Hurt, and Jennifer Connelly "Freddy and Fredericka is a vast, sprawling book of Homeric proportions and design in which Helprin exploits to the fullest his powers of invention as well as a lesser known talent for comedy." --Bookreporter.com Mark Helprin's legions of devoted readers cherish his timeless novels and short stories, which are uplifting in their conviction of the goodness and resilience of the human spirit. Freddy and Fredericka--a brilliantly refashioned fairy tale and a magnificently funny farce--only seems like a radical departure of form, for behind the laughter, Helprin speaks of leaps of faith and second chances, courage and the primacy of love. Helprin's latest work, an extraordinarily funny allegory about a most peculiar British royal family, is immensely mocking of contemporary monarchy and yet deeply sympathetic to the individuals caught in its lonely absurdities.
Espresso Tales
44 SCOTLAND STREET - Book 2 The residents and neighbors of 44 Scotland Street and the city of Edinburgh come to vivid life in these gently satirical, wonderfully perceptive serial novels, featuring six-year-old Bertie, a remarkably precocious boy--just ask his mother. Back are all our favorite denizens of a Georgian townhouse in Edinburgh. Bertie the immensely talented six year old is now enrolled in kindergarten, and much to his dismay, has been clad in pink overalls for his first day of class. Bruce has lost his job as a surveyor, and between admiring glances in the mirror, is contemplating becoming a wine merchant. Pat is embarking on a new life at Edinburgh University and perhaps on a new relationship, courtesy of Domenica, her witty and worldly-wise neighbor. McCall Smith has much in store for them as the brief spell of glorious summer sunshine gives way to fall a season cursed with more traditionally Scottish weather.Full of McCall Smith's gentle humor and sympathy for his characters, Espresso Tales is also an affectionate portrait of a city and its people who, in the author's own words, "make it one of the most vibrant and interesting places in the world."
Novel
Set in the town of Gruel, South Carolina, this first novel by George Singleton, master of the comic short story, is the tale of a young man named Novel (his brother's name is James; his sister's is Joyce), a professional snake handler who stumbles across strange doings while he sits in a motel room writing his autobiography. As he struggles to recount his life story, he uncovers-and finds himself starring in-a decades-old town secret, one that can blow him and his fellow citizens sky-high. Funny as only George Singleton can be, full of Southern mischief and wit, Novel is a crazed and crazy fictional whirlwind of drinking, motel-living, art-forgery-committing, pool-playing redneck charm.
Lord Vishnu’s Love Handles
Travis Anderson has a psychic gift. Or so he thinks. So far he's used his premonitions only to acquire the external trappings of success -- pretty wife, big house, shiny Range Rover. But when ominous visions invade his consciousness, his yuppie contentment is threatened and his business faces an audit from the IRS. Drowning in mounting financial problems and apparent mental illness, Travis clings to a raft of booze and pills. An intervention lands him in a rehab facility with outlandish ideas about healing mind and body. His sole counsel is no 12-stepper, but a Hindu holy man who claims to be the final incarnation of Lord Vishnu, the Hindu god who is the preserver of the universe.
Paris Hangover
A glamorous fish-out-of-water first novel, Paris Hangover stars Klein, a just-escaped New Yorker with trunk-fulls of fabulous footwear but without the significant relationship she'd really expected and longed to have by now, in her mid-thirties. Fleeing a live-in lover and their sleek Tribeca triplex as well as a career in fashion, Klein stars over in Paris-in a tiny walk-up in the 6th that she had to lie (in broken Franglais) and write a bad check to get, only to discover that, among other things, Parisian apartments don't come with kitchens. Living out of her ten piece of (Louis Vuitton, natch) luggage, Klein plunges into the mysterious world of French men and dating. She muddles her way through: the sexy Renaud, the prototypical Frenchman; dating three men named Jean simultaneously; and one completely wrong Monsieur Married Man, who wants Klein for his very well-kept mistress.Set against a backdrop of knowing references to Paris and its unique manners and mores, Paris Hangover is ultimately a very satisfying modern romance as Klein falls-- possibly permanently--for the least likely man to catch her eye.
Loopy
"Dan Binchy's first two novels were delightful stories of small town Ireland and filled with a range of eccentric and hilarious characters. Both books received warm praise"---The Washington Post called The Neon Madonna "terrifically funny and a hilarious read." Booklist called The Last Resort "an endearing and entertaining combination of warmth and wit." The tiny village of Trabane is tucked far away in the west of Ireland. The local golf course was designed more by nature than by man. On 'links' like this, golf is much more than just a game to those that play it. It is a battlefield where scores are settled and every man and woman is equal. To young Larry Lynch, nicknamed Loopy, golf opens up new horizons and the chance of a better life. Having only recently picked up the sport, he finds he has a natural skill and quickly becomes the town's leading amateur. Loopy's gifted athleticism earns him entry into the Atlantic Trophy---a prestigious competition at the famed course, Ballykissane. Helped only by an eccentric caddy and a gaggle of noisy supporters, he takes on some of the world's best amateur golfers in a titanic struggle that will warm the heart of readers everywhere. Little does he know that he is playing for a prize far, far greater than a silver trophy. Through it all, Binchy imbues the work with a wonderful feel of small town Ireland and, of course, the Irish spirit. "Echoes of Rocky in a sweet-natured tale of golf and small-town Ireland...Binchy's third...is a dead-solid hit with cousin Maeve ("I...love this book!"), which is not surprising since it's Binchyesque to the core."---Kirkus Reviews
Explorers of the New Century
When Magnus Mills gives the world a shake, you never know what might fall out of his pockets," proclaims the Los Angeles Times. In his terse new tour de force of a tale, Mills gives history a shake, and you'll never guess what the fallout is. Set at the dawn of the great age of exploration, the era of Shackleton and Perry and Scott, the book presents the adventures of two intrepid teams, both vying to reach the AFP, or Agreed Furthest Point-a worthy, even ennobling cause. The competition is friendly but conditions are extreme. To get through the arid, lifeless landscape, both teams must learn to make sacrifices, sacrifices that will change just about everything. Mills burst on the literary scene a decade ago with The Restraint of Beasts, a novel Thomas Pynchon called a "demented, deadpan-comic wonder." This new work proves that he has become a master storyteller whose books are each "as welcome as a warm bus on a rainy day" (The Oregonian).
Florida Roadkill
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money.On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals -- and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs . . . and the suitcase. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s.In other words, welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned!
Frankland
With his offbeat sense of humor and down-home Southern sensibility, James Whorton has been compared to luminaries such as John Kennedy Toole and Carson McCullers. He sharpens his cutting wit to a keen edge in Frankland, following the misadventures of a wannabe academic who goes hunting for a secret history and gets much more than he bargained for. John Tolley is a bumbling college dropout who yearns to become a bowtie-wearing, pipe-smoking historian. When he hears that Andrew Johnson's lost papers may have been preserved by an heir in Tennessee, he grabs his tweed jacket and heads south, convinced that he'll discover the key to a groundbreaking biography on the seventeenth U.S. president and the start of a respectable career. But things start to go awry when his car breaks down in the town of Pantherville, Tennessee. Tolley rents a decrepit shack owned by a neurotic ex-con and is soon sucked into a world of cockfights, coon dogs, and the politics of Pantherville's good old boys. Surrounded by folks as eccentric as he is, including an alluringly shy mail carrier named Dweena, Tolley starts to feel at home -- even if his quest for academic glory might just prove to be a wild goose chase. Native and newcomer, highbrow and hillbilly cross paths and tangle hilariously in this wry and ribald tale.
A Salty Piece of Land
Wander to "where the song of the ocean / Meets the salty piece of land" with Tully Mars, washed up from Margaritaville and in the mood for monkeyshines, in a shimmering Caribbean epic by the late king of tropical rock, Jimmy Buffett. It's not on any chart, but the tropical island of Cayo Loco is the perfect place to run away from all your problems. Waking from a ganja buzz on the beach in Tulum, Tully can't believe his eyes when a 142-foot schooner emerges out of the ocean mist. At its helm is Cleopatra Highbourne, the eccentric 101-year-old sea captain who will take him to a lighthouse on a salty piece of land that will change his life forever. From a lovely sunset sail in Punta Margarita to a wild spring-break foam party in San Pedro, Tully encounters an assortment of treasure hunters, rock stars, sailors, seaplane pilots, pirates, and even a ghost or two.
Smart Women
Two thirtysomethings try to find their way through the complications of post-marriage love in this beloved novel from #1 New York Times bestselling author Judy Blume. Margo and B.B. are each divorced, and each is trying to reinvent her life in Colorado--while their respective teenage daughters look on with a mixture of humor and horror. But even smart women sometimes have a lot to learn--and they will, when B.B.'s ex-husband moves in next door to Margo... Includes a New Introduction by the Author
Wifey
With more than four million copies sold, Wifey is Judy Blume's hilarious, moving tale of a woman who trades in her conventional wifely duties for her wildest fantasies--and learns a lot about life along the way. Sandy Pressman is a nice suburban wife whose boredom is getting the best of her. She could be making friends at the club, like her husband keeps encouraging her to do. Or working on her golf game. Or getting her hair done. But for some reason, these things don't interest her as much as the naked man on the motorcycle...
Mr. Sunny Sunshine Nothing but Smiles a Comic Book
Mr. Sunny Sunshine Nothing but smiles. A comic book is one of a variety of books within this inspiring children's book series featuring Mr. Sunny Sunshine. The principal design and storyline within this book is aimed to showcase Mr. Sunny Sunshine's personality featuring his unique one of a kind smile based brand of entertainment. This book provides a unique insight perspective on how Mr. Sunny Sunshine associates himself with his festive love of creating and sharing smiles within his daily life. Designed in a comic-book style fashion this book provides lots and lots of smiles for all to enjoy from beginning to end.
