A Treasury of Great American Scandals
Following on the heels of his national bestseller A Treasury of Royal Scandals, Michael Farquhar turns his attention to matters a little closer to home with A Treasury of Great American Scandals. From the unhappy family relationships of prominent Americans to the feuds, smear campaigns, duels, and infamous sex scandals that have punctuated our history, we see our founding fathers and other American heroes in the course of their all-too-human events. Ineffectual presidents, lazy generals, traitors; treacherous fathers, nagging mothers, ungrateful children, embarrassing siblings; and stories about insanity, death, and disturbing postmortems are all here, as are disagreeable marriages, vile habits, and, of course, sex: good sex, bad sex, and good-bad sex too. We can take comfort in the fact that we are no worse and no better than our forebears. But we do have better media coverage. Bonus educational material: A brief history of the United States, including scandals!The American Hall of Shame!A complete listing of presidential administrations!
I'm Back for More Cash: A Tony Kornheiser Collection (Because You Can't Take Two
Tony Kornheiser is back. Within these pages, the celebrated Washington Post columnist, Pardon the Interruption cohost, and ESPN radio personality relates his experience as an OnStar user, the proud new owner of the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie & BBQ, and a "phone-a-friend" on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. And in between, he dishes political commentary on Monica and Bill and George W. and Al. New for the paperback edition is Tony's final Washington Post Style column. So read all about his quest to fit into size 36 Dockers and his struggle to buy holiday gifts. And know that in the process you're handing this Kornheiser guy way too much dough for these columns.
Ace Reid and the Cowpokes Cartoons
Winner, Mitchell A. Wilder Award for Publication Design, Texas Association of Museums Folks across the West know a cowpoke named Jake. A good-hearted guy, he's always up to his eyebrows in debt or drought or prickly pears looking for them dad-blamed ole wild cows. In fact, he's so real a fella that it's hard to believe that Ace Reid made him up. This book brings together 139 of Ace Reid's popular "Cowpokes" cartoons, reproduced in large format to show the artistry and attention to detail that characterized Reid's work. Grouped around themes such as work, weather, bankers, and friends, they reveal the distinctive "you might as well laugh as cry" sense of humor that ranch folks draw on to get through hard work and hard times. In the foreword, Washington Post cartoonist Pat Oliphant offers an appreciation of Reid's "Cowpokes" cartoons, noting that "Ace's work has a magic of its own, and it owes nothing to anyone else." Reid's longtime friend Elmer Kelton recounts Ace's life and career in the introduction, describing how a shy boy who grew up on ranch work transformed himself into an artist-entrepreneur who never met a stranger and who made ranch work the subject of his real love, cartooning. This collector's volume belongs on the shelf of everyone who loves the "Cowpokes" cartoons, knows a fella like Jake, or enjoys the dry wit of the American cowboy.
Frost on My Moustache
Guided by the fastidious journals of an eminent Victorian adventurer by the name of Lord Dufferin, Time Moore sets off to prove his mettle in the most stunningly inhospitable place on Earth-the Arctic. Armed only with his searing wit, wicked humor, and seasickness pills, our pale suburbanite-wracked by second thoughts of tactical retreat-confronts mind-numbing cold, blood-thirsty polar bears, a convoy of born-again Vikings, and, perhaps most chilling of all, herring porridge. When he is not humiliating himself through displays of ignorance and incompetence, Moore casts a sharp eye on the local flora and fauna, immersing readers in the splendors and wonders of this treacherously beautiful region. A deliciously and inexhaustibly funny book, Frost on My Moustache deserves to be placed alongside those by Evelyn Waugh, Eric Newby, and Bill Bryson.
Stop Me If You Heard It!
Soupy Sales was a longtime host of an event at Friars Club called "Stop Me If You've Heard It" where a group of comics all seated on bar stools attempt to top each other by telling a joke. By the end of the evening it's not all that clear who actually topped who since the audience is too busy brushing tears away, doubling over in laughter, and praying their bladders remain intact before making a beeline to the bathrooms. Hilarious doesn't even begin to describe these evenings. This event with Soupy as top banana was as highly anticipated as The Friars' infamous Roasts, and his comic legacy endures in this book of his favorite jokes. "There is never a dull moment when Soupy is in the room. The Friars are lucky--we just have to turn around and listen to Soupy tell his hilarious jokes. Thanks to this book, though, you've got the next best thing--if you can't join him, read him. The Soup is on and he's boiling over with laughs." - Barry Dougherty of The Friars Club
Who Moved My Soap?
They threw the book at Madoff. Now here's the book he needs. While many books are offered for the CEO who aims to survive the cutthroat competition of the corporate jungle, not a single one offers to help those same CEOs when the law catches up with them. That is, until now. This book offers valuable advice for those executives who have cooked the books, and now find themselves paying the price. Borowitz covers all aspects of prison life, from exit strategies (prison-break tips) to ways of keeping the business acumen sharp (how to make the Warden your most valuable employee) to prison cell feng shui and even self-defense (how to use this book as a deadly weapon). Convicted corporate executives should look at this time spent in prison as an opportunity, rather than a disadvantage. New business contacts can be established, new management strategies tested-time can even be spent working on the golf game so it says sharp for ten, twenty, however many years. Direct from Bernie Madoff's cellmate, Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including: Complete Corporate-Speak/Prison Slang Glossary How to earn $$$ making vanity license plates Trophy wives, and how to avoid becoming one How to avoid getting back-stabbed literally Don't forget, Who Moved My Soap? will be both small enough to fit in the pocket of your prison uniform, but also thick enough to hollow out and hide cigarettes in! Who Moved My Soap? is a must read for any white collar criminal. CEOs headed to the Big House will now have something to read to help them pass the time. It's also a must read for those of us who were fleeced by them.
The Complete A**Hole's Guide to Handling Chicks
Congratulations, man! By picking up The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks, you are just pages away from finally understanding: - How a five-dollar date can get you laid- How to stop being friends with girls and start getting them in the sack- Where you'll have the best odds of finding a one-night stand, and how to get rid of the chick the next morning- How to trick a woman into thinking you're classy, even if you have holes in your underwear- Why fat chicks always try to keep you from banging their hot friends, and how to finally stop these evil creatures- How to stop your wife from nagging you into an early grave- Why it's possible to watch six hours of football, put the moves on your neighbor's hot daughter, and leave the toilet seat up in the same day- And much more The Complete A**hole's Guide isn't like all the other candy-ass relationship books on the market; it doesn't cover issues like romance, love, and finding Miss Right. So, if that's what you're looking for, there are plenty of other books you can hide under your skirt as you skip out of the store. This book is about controlling the women in your life, and never having to say you're sorry . . . EVER AGAIN! We'll take you from the day you're born to the day you die and show you how women can be manipulated, frustrated, and ultimately dominated throughout the course of a man's life. By illustrating the insanity of the female mind, we'll show you why the flawed chick psyche causes them to continuously fall for the a**hole, no matter how many times they get burned. If you're not interested, that's fine. We're sure there are ballet classes you need to attend before your wine and cheese party. However, if you are ready, then grab a six-pack, order a pizza, and get your hand out of your pants because you're about to read the most perverse, sadistic, and hysterical relationship book ever written. Enjoy!
The Get Fuzzy Experience
Syndicated by United Feature Syndicate, Get Fuzzy appears in 250 newspapers, from the Los Angeles Times to the Detroit Free Press to the Philadelphia Enquirer. Darby Conley's first book, This Dog Is Not a Toy, sold more than 115,000 copies; his second book, Fuzzy Logic, more than 85,000.When he was a child, Darby Conley used to wonder what his beloved pooch was thinking. That curiosity led to his creation of the hilarious strip Get Fuzzy in 1999, which has rapidly become one of the most popular cartoons in newspaper syndication. Showcasing the relationship between Bucky, a temperamental cat with an attitude; the sweet and sensitive dog Satchel; and their mild-mannered human companion, Rob Wilco, Get Fuzzy has cornered the market on anthropomorphic antics.Anyone who finds animals both amazing and amusing will find this new Get Fuzzy collection one of the most bitingly funny books ever printed.
Dating Your Mom
From the opening essay, "The Bloomsbury Group Live at the Apollo (Liner Notes from the New Best-Selling Album)" to the title piece that discusses ways in which you might begin a romance with your mother ("In today's fast-moving, transient, rootless society, where people meet and make love and part without ever really touching, the relationship every guy already has with his own mother is too valuable to ignore...") to a parody that features Samuel Beckett as a pilot giving an existential in-flight speech to the passengers, the twenty-five comic essays in this delightful collection are nothing short of brilliant. Ian Frazier, long considered one of our most treasured humorists, proves that comedy can be just as smart as it is entertaining.
The Sweet Potato Queens` Big-Ass Cookbook
They're wild, beloved, and all-around fabulous, but with the Sweet Potato Queens, there're just never enough good times--or enough good eats. Well, now all fabulous women everywhere can have their own mountains of royal fun and food, because bestselling author and Boss Queen Jill Conner Browne is revealing her big-ass top secret recipes--and the events that inspired them--in The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook (and Financial Planner). And, of course, she's dishing up plenty of hilarious stories, including: - Queenly adventures in mothering - The tiniest bit of plastic surgery - The all-true story of the Cutest Boy in the World And, oh yes, as promised: Sound financial planning. Tip number one: Hope that Daddy lives forever.
If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet
Cynthia Heimel has been described by the Chicago Tribune as "perhaps our funniest war correspondent on the war between the sexes"; her wisdom on dating includes such gems as: "My new rule is to never believe a person is interested until you feel his tongue down your throat." If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! shows Heimel at her wicked best. When sex pales in comparison to watching sports, when ostensibly adult men still don't understand why women need to work, when city-chic black and arugula salads have been taken over by Middle America, Cynthia Heimel is there to remind us that if we can't remake the world (or even the loved ones who are driving us crazy), we can at least laugh at it. Like a hip Erma Bombeck or a Dorothy Parker for today, she is an antidote to an absurd world for smart, sane women. If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?! -- now a national best-seller -- has caused The Boston Globe to hail Cynthia Hiemel as "a goddess and a role model." "Brilliant, ballsy ... wise and loving ... She makes me feel militantly on my own side. What pleasure; what relief." -- Mademoiselle
More George W. Bushisms: More of Slate's Accidental Wit and Wisdom of Our 43rd P
"Most of you probably didn't know that I have a new book out. Some guy put together a collection of my wit and wisdom -- or, as he calls it, my accidental wit and wisdom. [Laughter] But I'm kind of proud that my words are already in book form." -- President George W. Bush, discussing and reading from George W. Bushisms By now, most of you probably do know about George W. Bushisms, the bestselling collection of misstatements made on the campaign trail by our president. Now, in More George W. Bushisms, Jacob Weisberg reveals that the malapropisms didn't stop on Inauguration Day: "I've coined new words like misunderstanding and Hispanically." "I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't." "Our nation must come together to unite." "There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." These and many other presidential pearls are hilariously on display in More George W. Bushisms.
Fierce Pajamas: An Anthology of Humor Writing from the New Yorker
When Harold Ross founded The New Yorker in 1925, he called it a "comic weekly." And although it has become much more than that, it has remained true in its irreverent heart to the founder's description, publishing the most illustrious literary humorists in the modern era--among them Robert Benchley, Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, James Thurber, S. J. Perelman, Mike Nichols, Woody Allen, Calvin Trillin, Garrison Keillor, Ian Frazier, Roy Blount, Jr., Steve Martin, and Christopher Buckley. Fierce Pajamas is a treasury of laughter from the magazine W. H. Auden called the "best comic magazine in existence."
A Texas Time Capsule
At the end of the millenium, writer Ruth Pennebaker was in Texas, trying to keep her husband from blowing up their neighborhood every Fourth of July; rearing a daughter and son from early years into braces and backtalk; and finding out more than she wanted to know about breast cancer. Join this offbeat and funny writer for her views on America, Texas, and one particular and peculiar household.
Cheaper by the Dozen 12 個孩子的老爹商學院
"A touching family portrait that also happens to be very, very funny. . . its appeal is timeless." --Jonathan Yardley, Washington PostOne of the best-loved American memoirs of an oversized family and the parents who held them together - now a Disney+ movie starring Gabrielle Union and Zach Braff.What do you get when you put twelve lively kids together with a father--a famous efficiency expert--who believes families can run like factories, and a mother who is his partner in everything except discipline? You get a hilarious tale of growing up that has made generations of kids and adults alike laugh along with the Gilbreths in Cheaper by the Dozen.Translated into more than fifty-three languages and made into numerous films over the years -- including a classic film starring Myrna Loy and a cult favorite with Steve Martin, Hilary Duff, and Alyson Stoner -- this memoir is a delightfully enduring story of family life at the turn of the twentieth century.
Napalm and Silly Putty
The #1 New York Times bestseller with more than 450,000 copies in print offers up a hilarious and "entertaining" [Chicago Sun-Times] collection of razor-sharp observations--now available in paperback! Spending more than 15 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list in hardcover, George Carlin, the thinking person's comic, has made it very clear how successful he is at the transition from stage to page. In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin's characteristically ironic and hilarious take on life shines through. He asks: How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite? Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff? In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"?
Around the World in a Bad Mood: Confessions of a Flight Attendant
This hilarious book confronts every aspect of a flight attendant's absurd world--from the endless array of passenger demands, to the secret language of flight attendants, and a unique version of the Safety Demo Shuffle. Fasten your seatbelt and prepare yourself for a side-splitting perspective on the trials and tribulations of air travel.
Reflections of a Recovering Bimbo
A collection of satirical and serious poems and lyrics written and illustrated by Sue Wilkinson. Inspired by her observation of the entertainment business and life in general she wrote many songs and lyrics over a period of 30 years. Her experiences as a model, pop singer, radio personality and comedic actor provided her with endless goofy material, the best of which were selected for this entertaining gift book.
New York City Bartender's Joke Book
Jimmy Pritchards presents a collection of hundreds of jokes, collected from wonderfully diverse patrons over the course of his career tending bars in New York City, that are sure to have anybody laughing. When it comes to the finest, the far-outest, and the just plain funniest, the jokes start here--in the saloon capital of the world, New York, New York. Jimmy Pritchard, author and veteran NYC bartender, has heard them all from patrons across the oak. In these comedic cocktails, no one is spared, not the Irish or the elderly, not lawyers or blondes, not the handicapped, not sex-crazed animals, not even God. Jimmy brings you over 400 of the best in the house, stirred, shaken, and served inside this one-of-a-kind collection that is downright intoxicating.
Coyote V. Acme
Twenty-two side-splitting glimpses into some oddball corners of the American mind from bestselling author Ian Frazier. The title essay of Coyote v. Acme, Frazier's second collection of humorous essays, imagines the opening statement of an attorney representing cartoon character Wile E. Coyote in a product liability suit against the Acme Company, supplier of unpredictable rocket sleds and faulty spring-powered shoes. Other essays are about Bob Hope's golfing career, a commencement address given by a Satanist college president, a suburban short story attacked by the Germans, the problem of issues versus non-issues, and the theories of revolutionary stand-up comedy from Comrade Stalin. From first to last, this is Frazier at his hilarious best.
Tryin' Hard to Mellow Out
Tryin織 Hard to Mellow Out treats serious subjects lightly. If follows from Arnold織s notion that people can do serious work exceptionally well best in an atmosphere of fun. Creativity and humor provide that atmosphere. Writers know that sex and violence are the elements of a good story. Arnold織s Tryin織 Hard uses both to communicate—along with satire. His section on Change, Governance, and Perspective is filled with both as you might expect when politicians are key elements. His section on Help for Leaders and Followers is filled with both when political leaders and news media are featured. It織s a Strange World Today is filled with both as the unusual connections between us all are observed. Looking to the Future shows the expectation and hope that both sex and violence will continue to be with us in the future. Arnold has other fun treatments of serious subjects. The Fallback Position "for Managers and Others Who May Be Fired at a Moment織s Notice by an Employer with the Potential to be Completely Unfair, Unreasonable, and Inconsiderate." It was written for those in danger of being right-sized, down-sized, and re-organized out of a job.
Graduation a Time for Change
For Better or For Worse's Patterson family has grown and grown up for decades on the comics page. Facing real-life issues with a continuously humorous, often poignant, sometimes sentimental stance, For Better or For Worse delivers storylines that reflect the life moments and family challenges that most people face. In this collection, Graduation: A Time for Change, life is transforming for each family member and their widening circle of friends. Elly and John face middle age and the decision to ask Elly's dad to move in. As Michael graduates from the safe confines of university, Elizabeth begins her college years with a surprising roommate. The pleasures of being the number one kid sometimes escape the often-lonely April. Throw in the engagement of Michael and Deanna and add another dog to liven up the household and you get a lot of laughs and a bit of chaos--just like real life.
The Scourge of Vinyl Car Seats
No one walks away from a Close to Home cartoon unscathed. John McPherson's lumpy characters and bizarre situations are tailor-made for gut-splitting laughs. And then there are the cartoons that leave readers shaking their heads, sputtering, "Oh my gosh" as a guilty smile passes across their faces. The Scourge of Vinyl Car Seats delivers what fans expect from McPherson: jokes about everything from parenting to dating to car repairs. McPherson takes his readers on a journey that's very Close to Home.
Bobby Sands
In this book the author chronicles the abuse by the British state of emergency laws: harassment and intimidation of civilians; injuries and deaths caused by rubber and plastic bullets; collusion between British security forces, British intelligence and loyalist paramilitaries; unjust killings and murders by the security forces; excessive punishments and degrading strip-searches in prisons - abuses ignored by all but a handful of individuals and civil rights organisations.
Tryin' Hard to Mellow Out
Tryin織 Hard to Mellow Out treats serious subjects lightly. If follows from Arnold織s notion that people can do serious work exceptionally well best in an atmosphere of fun. Creativity and humor provide that atmosphere. Writers know that sex and violence are the elements of a good story. Arnold織s Tryin織 Hard uses both to communicate—along with satire. His section on Change, Governance, and Perspective is filled with both as you might expect when politicians are key elements. His section on Help for Leaders and Followers is filled with both when political leaders and news media are featured. It織s a Strange World Today is filled with both as the unusual connections between us all are observed. Looking to the Future shows the expectation and hope that both sex and violence will continue to be with us in the future. Arnold has other fun treatments of serious subjects. The Fallback Position "for Managers and Others Who May Be Fired at a Moment織s Notice by an Employer with the Potential to be Completely Unfair, Unreasonable, and Inconsiderate." It was written for those in danger of being right-sized, down-sized, and re-organized out of a job.
I Rant, Therefore I Am
Once again there's good news for those of us who rage at the evening news, shake our heads at Washington's business-as-usual, or watch as politicians carom helplessly between political crises and sex scandals: Dennis Miller is back with his third installment of hilarious observations, I Rant, Therefore I Am. Dennis Miller first gained national acclaim as the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live." When HBO premiered his weekly talk show in April 1994, both critics and fans enthusiastically agreed: "Dennis Miller Live" was the most refreshing talk show on television. The accolades have continued to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his staff won an Emmy Award for writing and have been regularly nominated since. When he takes the stage, the audience demands, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once again, Dennis Miller delivers the goods. Fans of his smart, quirky, irreverent style of humor are in for another treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the last two rounds. Dennis Miller keeps on ranting in I Rant, Therefore I Am, and speaks his mind on topics like: MODELS-"How ironic that the most exquisite-looking people in the world should end up choosing the profession that requires them to spend all day by the phone waiting for the most hideous people to call them." COLLEGE-"I don't think you should have to pay back college loans unless you get a job in your field. Put some pressure on the school. If I can't pay my bills, I'm not paying yours." CONSUMERS-"You know how to tell when you've got a shopping problem? When the lights in the department store momentarily dim after they slide your credit card through the thing." FAITH-"I envy people who can just let go and totally commit. I, on the other hand, can't even hear the title of the show 'Touched by an Angel' without thinking that a professional baseball player is being sued for sexual harassment." ASTRONAUTS-"Anybody who would strap themselves onto a giant deodorant spray can, set off a series of explosions under their ass until they've been blasted into the icy vacuum of deep space, and then step outside to take a walk must have more balls than a twenty-four-hour Tokyo driving range."
George Washington's Expense Account
In George Washington's Expense Account -- the best-selling expense account in history -- Kitman shows how Washington brilliantly turned his noble gesture of refusing payment for his services as commander in chief of the Continental Army into an opportunity to indulge his insatiable lust for fine food and drink, extravagant clothing, and lavish accommodations. In a close analysis of the document that financed our Revolution, Kitman uncovers more scandals than you can shake a Nixon Cabinet member at -- and serves each up with verve and wit.
Black Is the New Green
Those who have been following Arthur Black's award-winning publishing ventures over the past few years, or remember him from his long-running CBC radio show, Basic Black, will have come to appreciate the hilarious and unique vision of the world through the eyes of Canada's Blackest humourist. No less hilarious is his newest collection of observations and manifestos entitled Black is the New Green.Black's eye for the absurd is in full focus here. For instance, despite the engaging getup and provocative title, few of these stories actually have anything to do with the environment. Sure, Black offers some words of advice on eating a teaspoonful a day of good healthy soil for longevity and explores the trend towards uber-expensive high fashion grocery bags. However, this is not a tome about carbon footprints besmirching our melting ice caps. Giant hamburgers, on the other hand, are covered herein. You'll also find all you could ever want to know about men's purses, how a chicken upstaged Columbus, social suicide by motor scooter--there's even a sprinkling of flowered urinals--but precious little to make David Suzuki's aorta do backflips. But then, for sheer entertainment value, environmentalism doesn't hold an organic soy candle to a good Arthur Black-ism.If you're looking for a hearty helping of old-fashioned storytelling exploring Black's trademark territory of the curious and the strange, the twisted and the tainted, look no further than Black is The New Green.
Way to Go- Smith
In his award-winning first book, Bob Smith offered up a witty dose of nineties reality with his observations as a happily adjusted gay man. Now, after breaking up with his longtime boyfriend, Smith looks back to his painfully normal childhood to see where all the trouble really began. Like every other American kid, Bob's adolescence was marked by alternating moments of blissful ignorance, hazy confusion, and humiliating self-consciousness. And in these pages, Bob evokes his youth with a vividness that will make you shudder and howl with recognition.In these hysterically humorous pages, Bob Smith introduces readers to his comically unsympathetic grandmother, who makes light of his carsickness: "Bob only throws up because he's near the window and he can"; to his first teacher crush, whose "five-o'clock shadow could plunge a room into darkness"; and to his first brush with fame, when he fainted from his chair during a biology filmstrip ("Way to go, Smith!"). Sharp, observant, ingeniously ironic and wholly satisfying, this new Lambda Award-nominated collection is at once bittersweet nostalgic fun and a testament to the unquestionable gifts of a highly original comic writer.
Close to Home Uncut
Only in the world of Close to Home can you find hospitals staffed with hypochondriac-sniffing dogs, Yellowstone employees who secretly spike Old Faithful with gallons of Mr. Bubble, and telephones equipped with Caller I.Q. Of course, for the creator of the screamingly successful Close to Home, it's just another no-holds-barred day at the drawing board. Specializing in humor in everyday situations, John McPherson lampoons the worlds of parenting, marriage, school, health care, work, and leisure in ways that get readers to laugh at themselves.
Peanuts 2000
"Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus, Lucy . . . how can I ever forget them. . . ."--Charles Schulz How could any of us ever forget them? For fifty years, Charles Schulz and the whole Peanuts gang have delighted millions of readers around the world. Now, in celebration of the artist who quickly became a national treasure, this special anniversary volume brings together for the first time in book form, the last year of the Peanuts comic strip. With Peanuts 2000, there's no need to say goodbye to old friends.
The Five Minute Iliad Other Instant Classics: Great Books for the Short Attentio
Was Homer really blind, or was that just his shtick? Was Dante a righty or a lefty? Why aren't there any pictures of Jane Austen in a bikini? What made Oscar so Wilde? How much did Hemingway? These are just some of the many great questions of Western literature ignored in this book. From the author of A Prairie Home Companion's beloved "Five-Minute Classics" comes The Five-Minute Iliad and Other Instant Classics, a witty and profane lampoon of the Western literary canon -- the Spinal Tap of literature. "I will never write such wordy trash again," Leo Tolstoy said of War and Peace after reading Homer in the original Greek. Tolstoy's pledge inspired humorist Greg Nagan to whet his double-edged verbal sword and offer this gleefully twisted take on what contemporary readings of the Great Books say about our society today. From The Iliad to On the Road, these fifteen parodies provide a riotous romp through Western civilization (one version of it, anyway) from Homer to Kerouac, from Ancient Greece to Postwar America, from the Lyrical Epic to the Breathless Gush. Nagan's mirthful mayhem will delight those who've read the Great Books, and those who haven't read them will find these literary caricatures entertaining in their own right.
Great Political Wit: Laughing (Almost) All the Way to the White House
Bob Dole's political career may not have taken him to the White House, but he did pick up some great stories along the way. In this delightful collection, the longtime United States senator shares his favorite anecdotes, witticisms, and reminiscences. From the campaign trail to the Oval Office, from smoke-filled rooms to the chambers of the Capitol, Bob Dole surveys a century of political wit. There are bon mots from Calvin Coolidge, Winston Churchill, Harry Truman, John F. Kennedy, and a host of other political figures. Bob Dole introduces each section with mirthful moments from his own experience, displaying the gift for wry humor that has made him a favorite guest on late-night talk shows.A jovial--and completely bipartisan--compendium, Great Political Wit is a connoisseur's selection of political repartee at its best.
I'm a Stranger Here Myself: Notes on Returning to America after Twenty Years Awa
A classic from the New York Times bestselling author of A Walk in the Woods and The Body. After living in Britain for two decades, Bill Bryson recently moved back to the United States with his English wife and four children (he had read somewhere that nearly 3 million Americans believed they had been abducted by aliens--as he later put it, "it was clear my people needed me"). They were greeted by a new and improved America that boasts microwave pancakes, twenty-four-hour dental-floss hotlines, and the staunch conviction that ice is not a luxury item. Delivering the brilliant comic musings that are a Bryson hallmark, I'm a Stranger Here Myself recounts his sometimes disconcerting reunion with the land of his birth. The result is a book filled with hysterical scenes of one man's attempt to reacquaint himself with his own country, but it is also an extended if at times bemused love letter to the homeland he has returned to after twenty years away.
Me Talk Pretty One Day
A new collection from David Sedaris is cause for jubilation. His recent move to Paris has inspired hilarious pieces, including Me Talk Pretty One Day, about his attempts to learn French. His family is another inspiration. You Cant Kill the Rooster is a portrait of his brother who talks incessant hip-hop slang to his bewildered father. And no one hones a finer fury in response to such modern annoyances as restaurant meals presented in ludicrous towers and cashiers with 6-inch fingernails. Compared by The New Yorker to Twain and Hawthorne, Sedaris has become one of our best-loved authors. Sedaris is an amazing reader whose appearances draw hundreds, and his performancesincluding a jaw-dropping impression of Billie Holiday singing I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weinerare unforgettable. Sedariss essays on living in Paris are some of the funniest hes ever written. At last, someone even meaner than the French! The sort of blithely sophisticated, loopy humour that might have resulted if Dorothy Parker and James Thurber had had a love child. Entertainment Weekly on Barrel Fever Sidesplitting Not one of the essays in this new collection failed to crack me up; frequently I was helpless. The New York Times Book Review on Naked
Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs
When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. "I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey," Barry wrote.Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs, too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world's worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett.
A Treasury of Texas Humor
Author Bill Cannon has been collecting jokes and humorous stories about the antics of fellow Texans for literally years. Once he began this book people started sending him their own special favorites. This delightfully funny book covers every facet of Texas humor from life on the range to church, politics, Texas women, history, and hysterics. And it's a book your kids can read.
The Thurber Carnival
"An authentic American genius. . . . Mr. Thurber belongs in the great lines of American humorists that includes Mark Twain and Ring Lardner." --Philadelphia InquirerJames Thurber's unique ability to convey the vagaries of life in a funny, witty, and often satirical way earned him accolades as one of the finest humorists of the twentieth century. A bestseller upon its initial publication in 1945, The Thurber Carnival captures the depth of his talent and the breadth of his wit. The stories compiled here, almost all of which first appeared in The New Yorker, are from his uproarious and candid collection My World and Welcome to It--including the American classic "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"--as well as from The Owl in the Attic, The Seal in the Bathroom, Men, Women and Dogs. Thurber's take on life, society, and human nature is timeless and will continue to delight readers even as they recognize a bit of themselves in his brilliant sketches.
The Devil's Dictionary
History, n. an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools. Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. Self-Esteem, n. An erroneous appraisement. These caustic aphorisms, collected in The Devil's Dictionary, helped earn Ambrose Bierce the epithets Bitter Bierce, the Devil's Lexicographer, and the Wickedest Man in San Francisco. First published as The Cynic's Word Book (1906) and later reissued under its preferred name in 1911, Bierce's notorious collection of barbed definitions forcibly contradicts Samuel Johnson's earlier definition of a lexicographer as a harmless drudge. There was nothing harmless about Ambrose Bierce, and the words he shaped into verbal pitchforks a century ago--with or without the devil's help--can still draw blood today.
Into the Twilight, Endlessly Grousing
Patrick McManus offers wry observations about small-town life and curmudgeonly insists on bigger and bigger fish stories in this hilarious collection from one of the greatest contemporary humorists. Patrick McManus believes that life's eternal truths exist solely for the purpose of being overturned and proved incorrect. In McManus's world, nothing is what it should be. All steaks should be chicken-fried, strong coffee is drunk by the light of a campfire, and fishing trips consist of men acting like boys and boys behaving like the small animals we've always assumed they were.
Adventures in a TV Nation
'TV Nation' enjoyed a brief but memorable tenure on NBC, and now, with the publication of "Adventures In TV Nation," those who bemoan Michael Moore's absence from the airwaves can revisit the show "TV Guide" called "as compelling and provocative as it is entertaining and hilarious." All your
29 And Counting
Just when a woman's learned how to wind her way through a life of temp jobs and commitment-phobic boyfriends, she has to face the biggest nightmare yet--turning 30. What with everything on that "To Do Before 30" list still left undone and and the biological clock ticking all too loudly, even the most sensible chicks come a little unglued when their fourth decade is upon them.Luckily, humor writer Julie Tilsner is here to help. A Business Week editor who ditched New York City and a successful career for a kibbutz in Israel when the big day closed in on her, Tilsner recounts her experience and those of many other women in this pithy, insightful, and uproarious self-help book.
The Redneck Manifesto: How Hillbillies Hicks And White Trash Became America's Sc
Culture maverick Jim Goad presents a thoroughly reasoned, darkly funny, and rampagingly angry defense of America's most maligned social group -- the cultural clan variously referred to as rednecks, hillbillies, white trash, crackers, and trailer trash. As The Redneck Manifesto boldly points out and brilliantly demonstrates, America's dirty little secret isn't racism but classism. While pouncing incessantly on racial themes, most major media are silent about America's widening class rifts, a problem that negatively affects more people of all colors than does racism. With an unmatched ability for rubbing salt in cultural wounds, Jim Goad deftly dismantles most popular American notions about race and culture and takes a sledgehammer to our delicate glass-blown popular conceptions of government, religion, media, and history.
Brain Droppings
Sometimes, a little brain damage can help. A book of original humor pieces by beloved comic George Carlin. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny. Also included are two timeless monologues, "A Place for Your Stuff" and "Baseball-Football." Readers will get an inside look into Carlin's mind, and they won't be disappointed by what they find: I buy stamps by mail. It works OK until I run out of stamps.What year did Jesus Christ think it was?A tree: first you chop it down, then you chop it up.Have you ever noticed the lawyer is always smiling more than the client?I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.If you ever have chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other? Carlin demolishes everyday values and yet leaves you laughing out loud.
