Red Carpet Rose
Creator Pat Brady received the 2004 Reuben Award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year from the National Cartoonists Society. He's previously been honored as a nominee for the award seven times, and Rose is Rose has been nominated five times for the Society's Best Newspaper Comic Strip Award.Rose is Rose has long garnered attention from fans across the country and around the world. When the National Cartoonists Society named Rose creator Pat Brady Outstanding Cartoonist of 2004 it only confirmed what those readers already knew in their hearts: Brady rolls out one of the best strips in the business. Red Carpet Rose is Brady's first book since he received the NCS honors. As the seven previous Rose is Rose books have done before, this one continues the tales of the hilarious Gumbo family: Rose, her husband, Jimbo, and their devilish, delightful, and demanding son, Pasquale. Brady deftly captures the innocent and ageless qualities of wonder and awe at the world's boundless experiences, as seen through the lives of his beloved characters. Whether the Gumbos are sharing a simple family moment in the park, Pasquale is pushing his little-boy limits, or Rose is morphing into her Biker Chic alter ego, this Rose is Rose compilation of daily and Sunday strips delivers all the fun, laughter, and family-loving moments that mark Brady's work. This is cartooning at its best!
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Can I get a "ramen" from the congregation?! Behold the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), today's fastest growing carbohydrate-based religion. According to church founder Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. What drives the FSM' s devout followers, a.k.a. Pastafarians? Some say it's the assuring touch from the FSM's "noodly appendage." Then there are those who love the worship service, which is conducted in pirate talk and attended by congregants in dashing buccaneer garb. Still others are drawn to the Church's flimsy moral standards, religious holidays every Friday, or the fact that Pastafarian heaven is way cooler: Does your heaven have a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano? Intelligent Design has finally met its match--and it has nothing to do with apes or the Olive Garden of Eden. Within these pages, Bobby Henderson outlines the true facts- dispelling such malicious myths as evolution ("only a theory"), science ("only a lot of theories"), and whether we're really descended from apes (fact: Humans share 95 percent of their DNA with chimpanzees, but they share 99.9 percent with pirates!) See what impressively credentialed top scientists have to say: "If Intelligent Design is taught in schools, equal time should be given to the FSM theory and the non-FSM theory." -Professor Douglas Shaw, Ph.D. "Do not be hypocritical. Allow equal time for other alternative 'theories' like FSMism, which is by far the tastier choice." -J. Simon, Ph.D. "In my scientific opinion, when comparing the two theories, FSM theory seems to be more valid than classic ID theory." -Afshin Beheshti, Ph.D. Read the book and decide for yourself!
Bark And Ride
Photographer Mark J. Asher has earned praise from the American Kennel Club Gazette as one who possesses "an unerring eye and flawless technique." His previous treasures of photographs have been lauded as "simple and elegant" (The Humane Society of the United States), "highly recommended" (AKC Gazette), and "sure to bring a smile to your face that will grow with every turn of the page" (Chicagoland Tails). If dogs could drive, where would they go and what would they do? Author and photographer Mark Asher sets out to answer these yet-pondered canine queries with Bark and Ride. With its full-color pictures, storytelling, and canine road signs, this collection of photographic creativity captures man's best friend in countless vehicles and comical situations. We find a magnificent mastiff atop a tractor, plowing the fields for buried treasures; a bloodhound in a police car, patrolling the streets for deadbeat dog owners; and a precocious poodle at the helm of a trolley car, taking his friends for a downtown shopping spree. The engine is roaring, the road is ready, and the dogs are rearing to Bark and Ride!
Fork It Over
A hilarious series of culinary adventures from GQ's award-winning food critic, ranging from flunking out of the Paul Bocuse school in Lyon to dining and whining with Sharon Stone.Alan Richman has dined in more unlikely locations and devoured more tasting menus than any other restaurant critic alive. He has reviewed restaurants in almost every Communist country (China, Vietnam, Cuba, East Germany) and has recklessly indulged his enduring passion for eight-course dinners (plus cheese). All of this attests to his herculean constitution, and to his dedication to food writing.In Fork It Over, the eight-time winner of the James Beard Award retraces decades of culinary adventuring. In one episode, he reviews a Chicago restaurant owned and operated by Louis Farrakhan (not known to be a fan of Jewish restaurant critics) and completes the assignment by sneaking into services at the Nation of Islam mosque, where no whites are allowed. In Cuba, he defies government regulations by interviewing starving political dissidents, and then he rewards himself with a lobster lunch at the most expensive restaurant in Havana. He chiffonades his way to a failing grade at the Paul Bocuse school in Lyon, politely endures Sharon Stone's notions of fine dining, and explains why you can't get a good meal in Boston, spurred on by the reckless passion for food that made him "the only soldier he knows who gained weight while in Vietnam" and carried him from his neighborhood burger joint to Le Bernardin.Alan Richman, once described as the "Indiana Jones of food writers," has won more major awards than any other food writer alive, including a National Magazine Award, eight James Beard Awards for restaurant reviewing, and two James Beard M.F.K. Fisher distinguished writing awards. The all new cover will emphasize Richman's globetrotting persona and attract a wide audience
Marx & Lennon
Selected by bestselling author Joey Green, a collection of 400 quotes by Marx and Lennon, juxtaposed to reveal their hilarious similarities No, not THAT Marx and Lenin! Here's a much funnier and artistically talented pair from history. Revolutionaries in their own rights, John Lennon and Groucho Marx did not share much common ground with their Communist namesakes, or even with each other. Where they do overlap is through their very humorous and irreverent takes on life. Editor Joey Green brings together a collection of more than 400 Groucho Marx and John Lennon sayings, juxtaposed to emphasize their hysterical and unexpected similarities.
Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?
"Laugh your way to enlightenment" with this inspirational and light-hearted collection of stories from beloved Buddhist teacher Ajahn Brahm. The 108 pieces in the international bestseller Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung? offer thoughtful commentary on everything from love and commitment to fear and pain. Drawing from his own life experience, as well as traditional Buddhist folk tales, author Ajahn Brahm uses over thirty years of spiritual growth as a monk to spin delightful tales that can be enjoyed in silence or read aloud to friends and family. Featuring titles such as "How to Be a VIP" and "The Worm and His Lovely Pile of Dung," these wry and witty stories provide playful, pithy takes on the basic building blocks of everyday happiness. Suitable for children, adults, and anyone in between, this eloquent volume delivers insight and inspiration in a humorous and engaging voice. Features of this book: A collection of stories full of humor and wisdom Useful for stress relief and handling life's ups and downs Perfect for gifting Written in easy-to-understand language Delightful for Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike This book contains both encouraging, uplifting stories and thoughtful teachings in Ajahn Brahm's characteristic joyful style. Ajahn Brahm helps us navigate all of life's difficulties and beautiful moments. Who Ordered this Truckload of Dung? is certain to be an enjoyable addition to any individual or family's most treasured collection.
The Complete Peanuts Volume 4: 1957-1958
As the 1950s close down, Peanuts definitively enters its golden age. Linus, who had just learned to speak in the previous volume, becomes downright eloquent and even begins to fend off Lucy's bullying; even so, his security neurosis becomes more pronounced, including a harrowing two-week "Lost Weekend" sequence of blanketlessness. Charlie Brown cascades further down the hill to loserdom, with spectacularly lost kites, humiliating baseball losses (including one where he becomes "the Goat" and is driven from the field in a chorus of BAAAAHs); at least his newly acquired "pencil pal" affords him some comfort. Pig-Pen, Shermy, Violet, and Patty are also around, as is an increasingly Beethoven-fixated Schroeder. But the rising star is undoubtedly Snoopy. He's at the center of the most graphically dynamic and action-packed episodes (the ones in which he attempts to grab Linus's blanket at a dead run). He even tentatively tries to sleep on the crest of his doghouse roof once or twice, with mixed results. And his imitations continue apace, including penguins, anteaters, sea monsters, vultures and (much to her chagrin) Lucy. No wonder the beagle is the cover star of this volume.
Yeah, I Said It
Emmy Award-winning comedian Wanda Sykes shares her whip-smart and laugh-out-loud funny insights on marriage, politics, sports, and more in her debut book. As a stand-up comic, sitcom star, and sports commentator, Wanda Sykes has reduced people to tears of laughter. Now, in her first book, she offers her uncensored best that proves why she has garnered a dedicated fan base around the world. In Yeah, I Said It, she channels her sharp wit into funny bits on the truth as she sees it from the halls of government in Washington, DC, to the red carpets and boardrooms of Hollywood, and beyond. Imbued with her razor-sharp voice, these essays showcase Sykes's sidesplitting candor and her trademark brand of comedy.
Garfield Fat Cat 3- Pack
This uproarious collection includes three books in one: Garfield Weighs In, Garfield Takes the Cake, and Garfield Eats His Heart Out. The felonious feline is up to his old tricks--and some new tricks, too! He mugs a Girl Scout, escapes from the city pound, flirts with his girl, Arlene, and, of course, hassles Odie, Jon, and Nermal. Hey, mischief is his life! The GARFIELD FAT CAT 3-PACK series collects the GARFIELD comic-strip compilation books in a new, full-color format. Garfield may have gone through a few changes, but one thing has stayed the same: his enormous appetite for food and fun. So enjoy some super sized laughs with the insatiable cat, because too much fun is never enough!
Rose Is Rose Running On Alter Ego
When Pat Brady puts pen to paper, readers can't resist following his original images and tight story lines. This creator pulls more material from the one-child Gumbo family than other cartoonists can with five times the number of characters and settings. That magic comes through in Brady's seventh collection, Rose is Rose Running on Alter Ego. The lively series of daily and Sunday strips revolves around Rose-devoted wife and doting mother-who, try as she might, just can't keep her biker chick fantasies totally in check. Rose never knows, as she manages her blue-collar husband, Jimbo, and their energy-fired son, Pasquale, when Vicki the Biker may show up. But when the long-haired, short-skirted babe surfaces, it's always with a breath of fresh air and a fresh take on ""normal"" family life. Besides appearing on the cover, Rose as Vicki shines throughout the collection, in six new full-page drawings created just for the book. Each shows the seemingly satisfied housewife's alter ego performing some mundane chore demanded by Rose's less adventurous life, while Brady's usual mix of family fun, frolic, and fancy gives Gumbo fans plenty of delight.
Teen Angst
Teen Angst: A Celebration of Really Bad Poetry is the first, the best, and the biggest collection of teen angst poetry ever to be published. Inspired by the popularity of her interactive website, editor Sara Bynoe has compiled the definitive teen angst reader. Divided into 12 categories, including I am Alone and No One Understands My Pain and Obvious Metaphors, this book is for anyone who has ever written truly terrible, meditative, or self-indulgent poetry. Actually, this book is for anyone who survived being a teenager. All of the poets featured in this collection are now adults, living happy, angst-free lives. However, for this special book, they are willing to reveal excerpts from their old tattered notebooks or leather bound journals. Along with the poems, each poet has included a short introduction, giving background information for each work. As Sara Bynoe says, looking back on teen angst poetry brings people together in a "poetry reading meets stand-up comedy meets AA" sort of way.
No Dogs In Heaven?
For the millions of animal enthusiasts in America, here's a heartwarming collection of tales by veterinarian Robert Sharp that relate the joys and misadventures of being an animal doctor in small-town U.S.A. With humor and compassion, No Dogs in Heaven? portrays the great and not-so-great characteristics of human and animal nature, all infused by a lovable veterinarian's belief that indeed, there are dogs in heaven. Included is the telling of Sharp's first day as a rookie veterinarian nervously preparing to inject a needle into a one-ton Holstein bull; finding a rash on a cute puppy whose lovely young owner bared her breasts to ask his opinion of a similar skin ailment; treating a vicious dog whose violent owner had stabbed it with a knife, only to treat the same dog two years later -- now a sweet and gentle pet of an adoptive family; and caring for a kitten struck by a car who survived amputations of both right legs, somehow learned to walk, earned the name "Lefty," and was taken in by a family who loved him. In the vein of James Herriot's compelling stories, this charming, eccentric, and comic book is sure to strike a chord with readers everywhere.
The Deeper Meaning Of Liff
A rollicking, thought-provoking dictionary for the modern age, featuring definitions for those things we don't have words for, from the New York Times bestselling author behind The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams, and TV producer John Lloyd. Does the sensation of Tingrith(1) make you yelp? Do you bend sympathetically when you see someone Ahenny(2)? Can you deal with a Naugatuck(3) without causing a Toronto(4)? Will you suffer from Kettering(5) this summer? Probably. You are almost certainly familiar with all these experiences but just didn't know that there are words for them. Well, in fact, there aren't--or rather there weren't, until Douglas Adams and John Lloyd decided to plug these egregious linguistic lacunae(6). They quickly realized that just as there are an awful lot of experiences that no one has a name for, so there are an awful lot of names for places you will never need to go to. What a waste. As responsible citizens of a small and crowded world, we must all learn the virtues of recycling(7) and put old, worn-out but still serviceable names to exciting, vibrant, new uses. This is the book that does that for you: The Deeper Meaning of Liff--a whole new solution to the problem of Great Wakering(8) 1--The feeling of aluminum foil against your fillings. 2--The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves. 3--A plastic packet containing shampoo, mustard, etc., which is impossible to open except by biting off the corners. 4--Generic term for anything that comes out in a gush, despite all your efforts to let it out carefully, e.g., flour into a white sauce, ketchup onto fish, a dog into the yard, and another naughty meaning that we can't put on the cover. 5--The marks left on your bottom and thighs after you've been sitting sunbathing in a wicker chair. 6--God knows what this means 7--For instance, some of this book was first published in Britain twenty-six years ago. 8--Look it up yourself.
Who Let The Cat Out?
MUTTS is impossibly large. Its subject is the world, all living beings in it, and their relationship with each other. . . . Its touch is incredibly light and gentle, which explains how it alights in your mind and rests there. . . . The way that McDonnell's stories oscillate between gentle comedy and understated pathos is the strip's greatest strength.""-Christopher Brayshaw, Vancouver Review Animal lovers everywhere adore Patrick McDonnell's charming but pointed MUTTS. The strip strikes a delicate balance between lighthearted fun and social commentary-on the human condition as well as the animal world. The deceptively simple comic follows the adventures of Earl the dog and Mooch the cat, an unlikely best-friend team, and Shtinky Puddin', Sourpuss, Guard Dog, and Crabby. Patrick's distinctive cartooning style effectively relays the all-too-real concerns of his characters with entertaining, clever, laugh-out-loud banter. Infodad.com describes MUTTS as ""humane and funny and gentle and caring and heartfelt and-did we mention funny?"" The site goes on to say that the strip ""includes enough hijinks and outstanding art (yes, art!) to please anyone with a taste for animals and amusement.""
We're Just Like You, Only Prettier
Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes. What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in their pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again. What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on. In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling novel Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the South she loves, the land of "Mama and them," "precious and dahlin'," and mommies who mow. Y'all come back now, you hear?
Big Bento Box of Unuseless Japanese Inventions
In Japan, Kenji Kawakami is famous for his tireless promotion of Chindogu: the art of the unuseless idea. Kawakami has developed an entire philosophy around these bizarre and logic-defying gadgets and gizmos, which must work but are actually entirely impractical. Created in the spirit of anarchy, unuseless inventions are not allowed to be patented or sold.Fans of the unuseless will love this completely absorbing collection of 200 Chindogu, including: the Drymobile (your laundry dries as you drive) the Solar-Powered Torch (never runs low on batteries) Duster Slippers for Cats (now the most boring job around the house becomes hours of fun--for your cat!) Walk 'n' Wash Ankle-Attachable Laundry Tanks (a perfect solution for the problems of inadequate exercise and hygiene) and many, many more. These hilarious inventions have taken Japan by storm. Every one of the 200 items in The Big Bento Box of Unuseless Japanese Inventions has actually been manufactured to the highest standards, fully tested by pioneering members of the Japanese public, and documented in their unuselessness with photographs.
TheDarwin Awards III
The hilarious New York Times bestselling phenomenon and the perfect funny gift! Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves fromit, The Darwin Awards III includes more than one hundred brand new, hilariously macabre mishaps and misadventures.From a sheriff who inadvertently shot himself twice, to the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw; from a farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag to the man crushed by the branch he just trimmed, The Darwin Awards III proves again that when it comes to stupidity, no species does it like we do.Featuring scientific and safety discussions and filled with illustrations depicting inspiring examples of evolution in action, The Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is.
The Man Who Worshipped Butterflies
The Man Who Worshipped Butterflies is a set of twenty-six humorous fables, illustrated by the author, that illuminate the comedy of human life
Watch Your F*cking Language
Let the squeamish beware! Watch Your F*cking Language takes a no-holds-barred approach to taboo words and expressions. It shows you how to use them to your advantage -- and have fun doing so. Building on the lessons learned in English as a Second F*cking Language, this book emphasizes traditional English swears as well as powerful (and hidden) expressions from other cultures and languages. Through numerous examples, it puts the real language of real people into context: FLOYD: I just heard a Dan Quayle speech. It was really f*cking confusing.RUBY: I just got back from a Mongolian cluster f*ck. It was really confusing f*cking. The name of the game is communication, and Watch Your F*cking Language shows readers how to hammer home their messages with confidence and gusto. Among its features: *Numerous examples of proper (and so-called improper) usage*An Idioms section that emphasizes the niceties of swearing*A "Need to Know, "Nice to Know," and "Forget It" system for identifying swear words*A Final F*cking Exam
Why Everybody Hates Toronto
This is the book Toronto doesn't want you to read! Tired of Hogtown's constant preening, pretentiousness and pomposity? This book is for you. This book is also for hard-core Toronto fans - if they have the patience to read to the end (they aren't known for their patience). Why Everybody Hates Toronto is based on survey data and exhaustive research (the author tires easily). Why Everybody Hates Toronto is an insightful, witty, informative and wonderful look at one of the world's great cities. Soon to be a major best-seller! Warning: Despite the book's flippant tone and very funny overall approach, the book also contains some surprising depth and insight concerning Toronto woes. It's a content-rich, humorous, must-read for anyone who has ever lived in, visited, or thought of Toronto. Michael B. Davie has produced a first-rate book!
The Complete Peanuts 1953-1954
The second volume is packed with intriguing developments, as Schulz continues to create his tender and comic universe. It begins with Peanuts' third full year and a cast of eight: Charlie Brown, Shermy, Patty, Violet, Schroeder, Lucy, the recently-born Linus, and Snoopy. By the end of 1954, Pigpen and his dust cloud join the crowd. Linus, who still doesn't speak, begins to emerge as one of the most complex and endearing characters in the strip: garrulous and inquisitive yet gentle and tolerant. And, in this volume, he acquires his security blanket! Charlie Brown is becoming his best-known self, the lovable, perpetually-humiliated round-headed loser, but he hasn't yet abandoned his brasher, prankish behavior from Volume One. And, Lucy, this book's cover girl, has grown up and forcefully elbowed her way to the center of the action, proudly wearing her banner as a troublemaker, or, in Schulz's memorable phrase, a "fussbudget". For readers unfamiliar with the early years of the strip, Snoopy's appearances here may come as the biggest surprise: he behaves, for the most part, like a dog! But, although he doesn't yet walk upright, sleep on top of his doghouse, or possess a fantasy life, Snoopy has started thinking for himself and his evolution continues its fascinating course within these pages. If you watch carefully, you'll catch his very first shark impression. The vast majority of the daily and Sunday strips collected here are not currently available in any in-print Peanuts collection. Dozens of them have not been reprinted since their initial appearance in newspapers over 50 years ago. 2005 Eisner Award Winner, Best Archival Collection/Project; 2005 Eisner Award Winner, Best Publication Design (Seth).
The Funny Thing Is...
An indispensable reference for anyone who knows how to read--or wants to fool people into thinking they do--The Funny Thing Is... is sure to make you laugh.Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...And I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book. After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a work that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is... contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche and offers innovative features including: -More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs. -Thousands of observations on everyday life--from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem. -All twenty-six letters of the alphabet.
When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices.Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been?Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"?Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.
Garfield's Guide to Everything
In Garfield's Guide to Everything, the philosophizing fat cat weighs in on a whole kit and caboodle of subjects, from ecology to astrology, Shakespeare to stupidity. Sleep -- "The best 18 hours of my day" Coffee -- "Mother Nature's Jumper Cables" Dogs -- "They contain 90% of the world's drool supply." Love -- "...is splitting the last piece of pizza." Exercise -- "My favorite spectator sport." Mondays -- "The armpit of days." Golf -- "That's Scottish for 'AAARGH!'"
Funny Letters from Famous People
In this humorous collection of celebrity wit, acclaimed broadcaster and humorist Charles Osgood offers witticisms penned by luminaries ranging from Abraham Lincoln to Andy Rooney. Known for his clever commentary and witty radio-show rhymes, Charles Osgood here selects and introduces a collection of hilarious correspondence from some of our best-loved politicians, authors, and stars of the stage and screen. Funny Letters from Famous People delivers rib-tickling communications from the likes of Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, Flannery O'Connor, S. J. Perelman, Groucho Marx, Bob Hope, John Cheever and dozens more.Providing an entertaining look at celebrated lives, Osgood lets us glimpse Mark Twain squabbling with the gas company, Dwight D. Eisenhower kvetching to Mamie about Patton, and radio personality Fred Allen desperately seeking logic from his insurance carrier in one of comedy's most amusing epistles.Sprinkled throughout with Osgood's own humorous quips, Funny Letters from Famous People is a delightful compendium of clever letter writing at its side-splitting best.
Women Are Insane, Men Are Pigs
"If this MODEST PROPOSAL ever catches on, it will change life on earth as we know it." New York Books and Shoes Review "This book is pro-humanity. It's not just pro-one segment of the population. I was so deeply moved. I think it can make women who read it just bloom for the first time." San Francisco Floral Chronicles "This book is a gas." Dallas Petroleum Vanguard "If I ever meet the author of this book, I'm gonna shoot him!" Detroit Handguns Monthly "I just curled up with this good book by the fire, and realized what the f...had been wrong with my life, my whole entire life. Men are pigs! This book has opened my eyes. I can't say enough about it. It's pure genius down to the last paragraph." Seattle Rainy Day Times "Great beach reading for women. Men suck." Los Angeles Sun Times "This MODEST PROPOSAL could threaten the balance of power between the sexes. Let's hope women never do what this book is talking about." Washington-Beltway Political Books Review "This book could be the beginning of a revolution that could make Fidel's revolution look like a Sunday brunch." Miami Beach Tides and Book Review "I usually don't review a book like this in this Report. But, every woman absolutely needs to read this book. Men can just ignore it. We should start to ignore them too."Kansas City Agribusiness Report
Idiots at Work
What's the strangest question employers have been asked during an interview? Among the responses: * What is it you people do at this company?* Why aren't you in a more interesting business?* Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?* Does you company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?--from Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace StupidityLeland Gregory once thought crooks, politicians, and lawyers were the greatest nitwits out there, but it turns out that the working masses are packed with the dumb, dumber, and dumbest humans on the face of the planet. Gregory's look at nincompoops, Idiots at Work: Chronicles of Workplace Stupidity, makes it crystal clear that the world's biggest jerks are on the job. Consider these examples: * The woman who sued Eastman Kodak to improve the lighting conditions on her job...in a darkroom?* The Ontario Federation of Labor, which installed a bad boss hotline to get a handle on labor problems--only to have the system crash soon after startup because too many calls came in.* The interviewee who wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.Gregory has made a career out of finding the imbeciles of the world and sharing their antics with the rest of us. His AMP humor compilations What's the Number for 911?, What's the Number for 911 Again?, The Stupid Crook Book, and Hey, Idiot! were all hilarious, but Idiots at Work takes the cake. The book is filled with hilarious tales of moronic managers, office idiots, stupid shareholders, daft decision-makers, poor planners, and other outstanding examples of cubical klutzes.
A Boomer's Guide to Grandparenting
A Boomer's Guide to Grandparenting welcomes baby boomers to the grandparenting game. The Zullos have tapped fellow boomer grandparents and leaders in the child care and grandparenting fields to share their expertise and help recent grandparents find success and enjoyment in their new relationships with their children and grandchildren. We are your typical boomer nana and papa," say authors Kathryn and Allan Zullo, "younger, healthier, wealthier, and better educated than our grandparents. We are more active and less formal than our own parents were at our age. We no longer fit the traditional image of our elderly kin." That description signals the need for a new kind of grandparenting, a role that The Boomer's Guide to Grandparenting fills to perfection. The experts and grandparents cited throughout the book tailor their guidance and recommendations to fit the boomer sensibility, covering topics such as: * Defining your role and image as a grandparent* Understanding the latest trends in child care* Achieving harmony with your children and their spouses* Engaging in high-tech grandparenting* Coping with stepgrandparenting* Dealing with grandchildren in nontraditional households* Caring for great-grandchildren Filled with expert advice, A Boomer's Guide to Grandparenting provides a smooth transition into grandparenting and sets the stage for successful relationships and experiences for the entire family.
Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Forget Faludi--Cynthia Heimel has been telling her readers about the "backlash" for years, and about its pernicious effects not only on the psyches of women but also on the lives of men, children, cats, and dogs. This collection confirms how indispensible she has become as a guide through the maelstrom of our times. This is vintage Heimel-the caustic wit, the chronic truth telling, the wicked insights into the age-old dance between the sexes are all here and sharper than ever. In "She Asked For It?" the spectacle of the Clarence Thomas-Anita Hill affair calls for a stern warning to all men that feminism is back with a vengeance. Turning her attention to the Men's Movement, she is sympathetic up to a point, after which she demolishes their ranks with a few motherly touches. She confides to us taht some days she thinks it would simply be easier to be a lesbian, and explains why. Proving that she's not always a pessimist, she discerns a silver lining in the dark clouds of smoke billowing off the L.A. riots-with all the rich guys stuck at home because of the curfew, perhaps they'll begin to wonder why it all finally hit the fan. And of course there is ample attention paid to the truly serious stuff--the observations and advice on love, sex, dating and outfits, without which no Heimel book would be complete. Where else can a women find such expert dating advice as: "My new rule is to never believe a person is interested until you feel his tongue down your throat." Get Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye shows Heimel at her wicked best. She is our downtown Dorothy Parker, and an antidote to this absurd world for smart, sane women. Cynthia Heimel is finally becoming recognized for who she is-an Erma Bombeck for a new generation.
Dude, Where's My Country?
In case anyone in Washington hasn't noticed, Americans are fed up with the status quo. In this, the first shot fired over the bow of the 2004 Presidential election, Michael Moore aims to unseat the man who slithered into the White House on tracks built by the bloody hands of Enron and greased with the oil of his daddy. As if an unelected, semi-literate president weren't problem enough, America's Democrats have managed to take the liberty out of "liberal," signing on with the G.O.P. for dirty corporate money and the ill-gotten gains of globalization. The "left" is just as satisfied as the right to stand idly by as the chasm between the haves and the have-nots grows wider and wider. Thank god for Michael Moore because Dude, Where's My Country tells us precisely what went wrong, and, more importantly, how to fix things. In a voice that is fearless, funny, and furious, Moore takes readers to the edge of righteous laughter and divine revenge.
Suddenly Southern
Moving South? Feeling a little out of place? Craving pizza from home and faking a passion for sweet tea? Not generating much Southern hospitality? Wondering if you'll ever fit in? Well, honey, here's your complete guide to living in Dixie, providing migrating Yanks with tips on living, eating, greeting, driving, walking, talking, and what food to bring to a funeral. From his 'n' her Southern Hair Dos (and Don'ts) to The A to Z Dixie Dictionary, Suddenly Southern includes everything you need to know about living south of the Mason-Dixon Line, including: Recipes that range from mint juleps and hoppin' john to recipes for disaster "Know Your Bugs by Their Mugs," a handy identification chart 10 ways to say, "Now that's ugly" in Dixie How to walk from the store to the car without dying, a Fun-in-the-Sun Survival Kit 100 Southern Things Worth the Trip From Southern tailgate food (deviled eggs and cheese straws) to minding your BBQs, from pronouncing pecan to knowing when your cat's a true Southerner, from knowing when you're fittin' in to knowing when you're not, this is the ideal guide for anyone moving, planning a move, or just plain ol' interested in this fascinating American region. With this book on your shelf, they'll never be able to say "Yankee, go home" again.
How to Eat Like a Republican
This is part cookbook, part how-to for non-Republicans, part payback ("Thanks, Mom, for all the swell tricks with Lipton Onion Soup Mix"), and part sheer revenge, as in for one horrifying night when the author was invited to dinner by a coven of Democrats under the pretext of eating a decent whole roasted prime tenderloin and was cruelly served a whole roasted baby tuna. Her date, a Republican fish-hater (a Republican redundancy, by the way, see Chapter 3, Fish), memorably reacted by getting dead drunk and passing out at the table with his face in the tuna. This capriciously organized collection of the kinds of homey recipes Republicans grow up on pays little regard to attribution, since, in the words of the author, "Nobody ever remembers where the recipe originally came from anyway."
Real Ultimate Power
Dear Stupid Idiots, A lot of you have been saying that I don't know anything about REAL ninjas. But that's a bunch of bull crap! You dummies don't know anything. And maybe YOU should get a life. I bet a lot of you have never even seen a girl naked! You idiots believe that ninjas had some "code of honor." Yeah right! If by "code of honor," you mean "code to flip out and go nuts for absolutely no reason at all even if it means that people might think you are totally insane or sweet," then you are right. But if you mean a "code to be nice and speak nicely while sharing and not cutting off heads," then you're the biggest idiot ever!!!!!! So if you have any brains, you will shut up and get a life. So go shut up, you stupid idiot. No thank you, Robert Hamburger
Talking Cock
The self-proclaimed foremost authority on the penis, Richard Herring decided to stand up for the humble willy, worshipped in ancient times, now consigned to a standing joke. Talking Cock combines answers to questions about sexuality, circumcision, and strange behavior with a deeply researched history, poignant true-life confessions, and insights from the hilarious to the downright obscene.
Obscure Dead Celebrities
Obscure Dead Celebrities is a series of humorous stories and essays about strip mall Midwestern culture. These autobiographical stories document life in Indianapolis, Indiana during the late 20th century. Chicken Skinner is an account of a chicken restaurant and the sordid inner restaurant relationships that naturally develop around dead poultry. Jockstrap delves into the sordid world of middle school boys locker rooms and the cotton brief clad eleven and twelve-year-old womanizers that populate them. Obscure Dead Celebrities mixes humor, nostalgia and family relations in an eclectic and refreshingly realistic perspective on modern America.
Teenage Tales
Fifteen-year-old Jeremy Duncan is the heart and soul of puberty. A typical teen, Jeremy is shy, self-absorbed, and bored. He loves hanging out and playing the guitar. He lives in the shadow of his older brother's perfect 4.0 grade-point-average, athletic talents, and flawless complexion. Jeremy's girlfriend, Sara, loves that she can get him to do anything for her. His best friends are Hector and Pierce, whom he's known for-almost-ever. His parents? Uncool baby boomers. (Unless you're a parent, then they are two suburban professionals just trying to do the best they can with a teenager going through that ""awkward"" phase.) The enormously popular comic strip Zits depicts teenage and parental angst like no other. Teenage Tales is a cornucopia of Zits for die-hard fans everywhere. Zits can be seen in more than 1,100 newspapers, which is almost unheard of-only 18 other comic strips have achieved that extraordinary milestone. Zits has also won the National Cartoonists Society's Best Comic Strip of the Year award for two years in a row.
Common Nonsense
"Andy Rooney's Sunday evening observations on 60 Minutes are an American institution, shaping the way people see everything from coffee percolators to the state of the nation."
Reflections in a Jaundiced Eye
In this collection of essays, Florence King confirms her position as one of the wittiest social critics now writing-and certainly the most uninhibited. Nothing escapes her withering gaze, from our greatest national institution ("Democrazy"), to the cult of Helpism ("Does Your Child Taste Salty?"), to the rules of historical romance writing ("Sex and the Saxon Churl"). If caring 'n' compassion are getting you down, open this book for a refreshing whiff of vitriol.
The Tabloid Bible
The Tabloid Bible is a fresh and funny take on biblical literacy. Humorist Nick Page, who happens to take the Bible very seriously, captures perfectly the deadpan style of popular, sensational tabloids found in supermarket checkout lanes everywhere in his retelling of major biblical events from Genesis to Revelation.
Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel: A Guide to Outwitting Your Boss, Your Coworke
Back after a four-year hiatus, New York Times bestselling author Scott Adams presents an outrageous look at work, home and everyday life in his new book, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel. Building on Dilbert's theory that 'All people are idiots', Adams now says, 'All people are idiots. And they are also weasels.' Just ask anyone who worked at Enron. In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good moral behaviour and outright felonious activities. In the Weasel Zone, where most people reside, everything is misleading, but not exactly a lie. Building on his popular comic strip, Adams looks into work, home and everyday life and exposes the way of the weasel for everyone to see. With appearances from all the regular comic strip characters, Adams and Dilbert are at the top of their game - master satirists who expose the truth while making us laugh our heads off.
Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters
An outrageous collection from the uniquely legendary John Waters, updated with new material--including Waters's 2002 New York Times article, "Finally, Footlights on the Fat Girls." Crackpot, originally released in 1986, is John Waters's brilliantly entertaining litany of odd and fascinating people, places, and things. From Baltimore to Los Angeles, from William Castle to Pia Zadora, from the National Enquirer to Ronald Reagan's colon, Waters explores the depths of our culture. And he dispenses useful advice along the way: how not to make a movie, how to become famous (read: infamous), and of course, how to most effectively shock and make our nation's public laugh at the same time. Loaded with bonus features, this special edition is guaranteed to leave you totally mental.
A Right to Be Hostile: The Boondocks Treasury
Here's the first big book of The Boondocks, more than four years and 800 strips of one of the most influential, controversial, and scathingly funny comics ever to run in a daily newspaper. "With bodacious wit, in just a few panels, each day Aaron serves up--and sends up--life in America through the eyes of two African-American kids who are full of attitude, intelligence, and rebellion. Each time I read the strip, I laugh--and I wonder how long The Boondocks can get away with the things it says. And how on earth can the most truthful thing in the newspaper be the comics?"--From the foreword by Michael Moore
The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead 世界末日求生指南
From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain. Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack 1. Organize before they rise! 2. They feel no fear, why should you?3. Use your head: cut off theirs.4. Blades don't need reloading.5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it. 7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!9. No place is safe, only safer. 10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on. Don't be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset--life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.
Rose is Rose: Right on the Lips
Pat Brady's comic strips send readers to another plane. That's quite an accomplishment for a simple story line centered on a two-parent, single-child family. But Brady's readers soar, through both the laughs and a visual visceral connection to the feelings the characters themselves experience. Rose is Rose Right on the Lips: A Rose is Rose Collection continues the tales of the Gumbo family. Rose is the wife and mother, a child at heart who just happens to have a biker chick alter ego. Husband Jimbo, a "decent Neanderthal," looks like an average blue-collar dad, but he's actually an incurable romantic. And Pasquale, their son, is an imagination-fired kid who loves Peekaboo, the family cat, and is often saved from trouble by his guardian angel. Brady swirls this familial mix into seemingly endless recipes of fun, adventure, and fantasy, but he adds a special magic with his original sense of perspective and space that makes readers feel as though they, too, are part of the action. This collection of daily and Sunday strips is a great introduction to those new to Rose is Rose and a surefire winner with longtime Gumbo-family fans. The creator adds value for all readers by including two flip books in the pages' lower corners, delightfully animating the characters right in front of their eyes!
