Who Put the Bots in the Tort$?-A Legal Farce
"Pap" and "Pup" Peters, those intrepid tort lawyers whose zany exploits have delighted readers of Tort$ "R" Us, Please Pass The Tort$ and Send In The Tort Lawyer$, return with yet another round of legal shenanigans guaranteed to make you laugh until you weep.Their latest antics take them into the brave new world of artificial intelligence: a massive lawsuit against two Super Pacs who poured money into the campaign of a New York Congressman whose entire persona was generated by an AI program; and a lawsuit on behalf of sultry actresses and models, including the unforgettable Lydia Lowlace, whose voices have been appropriated for a series of female chatbots who provide comfort, and lots of sexual innuendo, to lonely men. In one of their most creative lawsuits ever, they pursue three leading auction houses who purchased and then resold expensive jewelry and watches stolen from the rich and famous by the "Gentleman Thief" and his bogus Swiss heiress girlfriend. And Mona Lott makes yet another appearance in her ongoing feud with her small Connecticut town over lawn mowing.Settle into your favorite chair so that you don't fall on the floor laughing at the latest exploits of these lovable lawyers who leave no stone unturned in their quest for fame, fortune and fun. Critics Lavish Praise on SEND IN THE TORT LAWYERS$"SEND IN THE TORT LAWYER$ is frighteningly funny. Morrison keeps you in a kind of kaleidoscopic blur where nonsense is normal and logic seems out of place." -Matthew Pearson, Banker and Author"The laughs keep coming as fast as the torts and the wild settlements. No one with the slightest interest in law, life, or shenanigans should miss this third volume of the Pap and Pup series." -Mike Abram, Retired Labor Lawyer"The laughs never stop, as T.C. Morrison has once more struck comedy gold." -Jack Isler, Retired Physician"WARNING TO READERS: This book is not intended to be consumed in a public space! Readers should find a quiet corner where others will not be disturbed by unexpected outbursts of loud laughter." -Richard Gilbert, College Professor A graduate of Otterbein University (Ohio) and New York University Law School, T. C. Morrison spent his 50-year legal career writing briefs and trying cases around the country for a series of New York City law firms.
From The Minds of Squirrels At a and Their Delusions of Grandeur Part 3
This book is the third installment of my random thoughts. Some are just pure humor and others make you look at the world in a new light. Some of them have come from things I have heard or seen online
This Book Is Literally Just Pictures of Cute Cats Who Are Plotting to Kill You
Put a smile on your dial with this collection of sinister but adorable feline troublemakers. The only thing cuter than a fluffy animal, is a fluffy animal that looks as though it might want to murder you. This book of fabulous plotting kitties will have you feeling simultaneously judged and loved--a mighty combination that can propel you out of any rut. So next time you need a boost, these devious cats are here to the rescue.
Burning Through the West Coast
Take a trip back in time (before political correctness ruined everything) with three guys from New York on a West Coast adventure in the summer of 1978.Join author Paul (Disco) DiSclafani, his cousin Sal (The Catman) and their friend Bruce (Mr. B) as he transports you back to those carefree days in the late '70's, recalling a zany but true trip as they burned their way through Southern California and Arizona.Stand next to them on the line as they use their New York attitudes to resolve car rental SNAFU's, lost luggage, and useless hotel room vouchers.Be part of The Tonight Show audience as Johnny burns them on National TV.Spend a couple of foggy days in Arizona for a visit with their crazy friends, Felix and Kozshekka, as a flood of biblical proportions strands them across the street from the airport.Travel down Arizona's Salt River with our inebriated heroes as they hold on for dear life when their lazy float turns into a white-water disaster.Experience the miracle of finding a bag of weed when they arrive in LAParticipate along with them in the "Pause that refreshes" every time they hear a Bruce Springsteen songBurning Through the West Coast is a lighthearted romp, with original photographs from the trip and chapter illustrations by John Colquhoun, which will make you smile every time you turn the page. 6,000 Miles, 576 Beers, 4 states, 3 Guys from the East Coast, and a bag of weed.
Mind it!
This book offers a tongue-in-cheek look at how Indian English can amuse--or sometimes confuse. It presents a collection of over 100 classic "Indianisms," each written in a playful and engaging way. The book explores how these unique expressions may have originated while also helping readers understand the grammatically correct way to phrase them.
The Beautiful Poetry of Donald Trump
Does a poet's heart beat under Donald Trump's brash exterior? This international bestseller rearranges his quotes and tweets into hilarious poetry. It's a new word order and the perfect present ideaWhat if there's a hidden dimension to Donald Trump; a sensitive, poetic side? Driven by this question, Rob Sears began combing Trump's words for signs of poetry. What he found was a revelation. By simply taking the poetic POTUS' tweets and transcripts, cutting them up and reordering them, Sears unearthed a trove of beautiful verse that was just waiting to be discovered. This groundbreaking collection gives readers a glimpse of Trump's innermost thoughts and feelings on everything from the nature of truth, to what he hates about Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi. And it will reveal a hitherto hidden Donald, who may surprise and delight both students and critics alike. Now with all-new poems! As we lurch deeper into life post-Trump and the impeachment era, this timely publication also includes Sears' scholarly footnotes and introduction, in which he excavates new critical angles and insights into the Poet-in-Chief's work which the casual reader might initially overlook.
Burning Through the West Coast
Take a trip back in time (before political correctness ruined everything) with three guys from New York on a West Coast adventure in the summer of 1978.Join author Paul (Disco) DiSclafani, his cousin Sal (The Catman) and their friend Bruce (Mr. B) as he transports you back to those carefree days in the late '70's, recalling a zany but true trip as they burned their way through Southern California and Arizona.Stand next to them on the line as they use their New York attitudes to resolve car rental SNAFU's, lost luggage, and useless hotel room vouchers.Be part of The Tonight Show audience as Johnny burns them on National TV.Spend a couple of foggy days in Arizona for a visit with their crazy friends, Felix and Kozshekka, as a flood of biblical proportions strands them across the street from the airport.Travel down Arizona's Salt River with our inebriated heroes as they hold on for dear life when their lazy float turns into a white-water disaster.Experience the miracle of finding a bag of weed when they arrive in LAParticipate along with them in the "Pause that refreshes" every time they hear a Bruce Springsteen songBurning Through the West Coast is a lighthearted romp, with original photographs from the trip and chapter illustrations by John Colquhoun, which will make you smile every time you turn the page. 6,000 Miles, 576 Beers, 4 states, 3 Guys from the East Coast, and a bag of weed.What could possibly go wrong? What people who have never read the book are saying: "Great, another book trying to imitate Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas..." - Hunter S. Thompson"To be honest, I don't remember these guys at all..." - Johnny Carson"They stole ice from me, those bastards!" - Burt "Slim" Perkins, owner of the Vagabond Motel"I never did get a Christmas Card from those guys." - Joanne Kowalski, Travel Agent What people who know Paul DiSclafani are saying: "My son and my nephew would never do any of those things! I bet it was that Bruce who tricked them into doing all those bad things. I knew he was a bad seed from the first day I met him." - Carmela DiSclafani, Paul's mother"My son? Your son was no angel, you know..." - Muriel Oeher, Bruce's mother"I've been wondering what happened to that steak for 42 years." - Paul's Aunt Jean (Sal's mother)"This book has been a real lifesaver. Without sports to watch during this COVID-19 pandemic, the writing of this book has kept my husband occupied and out of my hair. Best. Babysitter. Ever." - Barbara DiSclafani, Paul's wife"Two hundred pages and he mentions me in only two sentences..." - Tony DiSclafani, Paul's brother
Counterculture Blues
Claude is a big hearted marmalade cat, who moved to the country to escape city life. He works as a barcat in Tuckaburra, a small country town once a centre of the counterculture movement in Australia. Here, he lives happily with partner Mao, Mao's two catlings Wintergreen and Rupert, and Mao's mother Sylvia, who owns the cottage they all live in.All is rosy until ...Sylvia mortgages the cottage to start a herbalism business to provide for Wintergreen and Rupert's higher education. Then the hotel Claude works in burns down. Claude has a series of misadventures in part-time jobs as he tries to save the family home. Through it all, he never loses his belief in his personal fable: Things always work out in the end.The cats are forced to start selling the furniture to meet the mortgage repayments. (A rich koala from Possum Shoot buys the bookcase.) When all seems lost, a good deed Mao once insisted the family do pays off in an unexpected way.Lose your blues in this all-animal tale, based on the author's own novel, MagnifiCat, published here in 2014. No longer available.
We Laughed at Her Funeral
Do you ever wonder if God spends as much time with all of his children as he does with you? I do. He just will not leave me alone. He talks to me, he nudges me, he reminds me, he scolds me, he paints pictures in my mind's eye, and he stirs my heart. Since childhood, God has been revealing Himself to me through people, places, and growing things. Collected here to share are a few of those observations.
Little President Trump's Sandbox (Digest)
The sandbox that is the American sceneis the place where Little President Trump can be seen.In a story of pictures and rhymes we relatehow a boy with a dream makes a sandbox that's great.
Little President Trump's Sandbox (softcover)
The sandbox that is the American sceneis the place where Little President Trump can be seen.In a story of pictures and rhymes we relatehow a boy with a dream makes a sandbox that's great.
Little President Trump's Sandbox (Deluxe)
The sandbox that is the American sceneis the place where Little President Trump can be seen.In a story of pictures and rhymes we relatehow a boy with a dream makes a sandbox that's great.
Between Heaven and Earth
I believe my book captures many interesting and exciting situations. These situations are gleaned from my personal experiences. I am convinced that my years as a Smokejumper have defined and shaped the man I am today. Several escapes from near-death experiences have brought me to this day and provided me with an abundance of gratitude.And one day soon, one last jump into the unknown.
Don't Be a D*ck
Hey you. Yes, you. Have you ever wondered if you're being a dick? This pocket-sized humorous guide is here to help you be a decent human instead. Sometimes you need someone to tell you when you're acting up. We all make mistakes, and if you believe your behavior has always been faultless, that probably means you can be a bit of an idiot at times. This small but mighty book will help you navigate life as a more self-aware and generally awesome person. Within its pages, you will find: - Hilarious, irreverent and no-nonsense direction - Life lessons bursting with wisdom (and expletives) - Actionable advice on how to be less of a prick The perfect gift for a friend, colleague or sibling, and a must-read for most of us, Don't Be a Dick will call you out when you need it and show you how to be the best version of yourself. Whether sharing it with someone as a joke or a much-needed intervention, this little book is your go-to guide to help you stop dicking around.
Who's Looking After Who?
Who's looking after who? is set in the whimsical town of Millport on The Isle of Cumbrae in Scotland. The Coyle family's life spirals into chaos after the birth of their baby on the kitchen floor of their tea shop. Delivered by their naive four-year-old son. The extraordinary baby possesses the mind of an adult, unleashing a torrent of dark wit and critiques upon his family. Amidst the pandemonium, their two red-setter dogs give birth to fourteen puppies, adding to the frenzy of the late 1970's family romp, where health and safety concerns were scarce. The Coyles embark on a comical quest for babysitters, leading to bizarre and dangerous situations for their baby, in this darkly humorous tale of raising a family while running a business during a carefree era.
The Expectant Mother's Disinformation Handbook
"Robert Guffey's The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook is weirder than parthenogenesis, weirder than the Republican Party, weirder than the fetishizing of pregnancy that suffuses our culture, weirder than all the back issues of Weird Tales combined. You will laugh, gasp, and scratch your head in pleasurable bemusement. I can't recommend this tongue-in-cheek tour de force too highly."-James Morrow, award-winning author of Only Begotten Daughter and Behold the ApeThe Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook is part novel, part fabulist encyclopedia. It's academic research that's shockingly close to the truth. The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook is a cabinet of wonders disguised as an informational guide for expectant mothers. Backed up with scientific-sounding footnotes from imaginary obstetricians, this book threatens to raise the paranoia of postmodern motherhood to a new level of absurdity.In the pages of this handbook you will learn about such chimerical illnesses as the Quantum Singularity Syndrome, Symmetrical Child Syndrome, Involuntary Dimensional Transits, Spontaneous Infant Combustion Syndrome, Black Hole Syndrome, Polyinfantalia, Shrinking Brain Syndrome, Muppetitis, Midwich Disease, and Oneirokyesis (known to some pediatricians as "Dream Baby Disease"). But fatal diseases are not the only purview of The Expectant Mother Disinformation Handbook. You'll find out about the dangers of allowing your fetus in utero internet connection, how to use your child as an assassin, the growing problem of terrorism in the womb, in utero phone sex, the high weirdness of Origami Babies, the little known fact that Shakespeare created pregnancy, the mystery of the fetus-abducting Comprachicos, and a rare in-depth interview with Dracula about his attitudes regarding child raising, among many other illuminating tidbits of obscure but vital historical data.Ultimately, this book is a scathing satire on the unthinking commercialization of motherhood, fatherhood, and procreation in general.
From the Mind of a Waitress
Gotta roll silverware?Put the order in wrong?In the weeds?WHERE'S MY TIP?!This book isn't about becoming a better server. It's about life as a server.With over twenty years as a waitress, step inside Lynn's mind and laugh at the outrageousness of this job and experience the mind-blowing and unbelievable human condition.Have you ever wondered if customers know what a server's experience is while serving them?It's time they find out.Thank you
Atalan Adventures
In a universe of opportunities, the Atalan is coming up empty.Captain Frankie and the crew have lost their jobs, crash-landed, and unleashed an invasive rodent species onto an innocent planet. Previously, they delivered tea towels. Now they must exterminate perpetually pregnant animals, escape transdimensional quagmires, and steal a moon if they hope to stay current on their ship's lease...and deliver more tea towels.Join a tired captain whose colors literally show, an unruly maned first mate, an Earth widow augmented to carry heavy things, two psychic triplets, and a mysterious tentacled mechanic in Atalan Adventures.The Trilogy of Trilogies contains novellas 1-9 of Atalan Adventures.
Satire for the Soul
"When Mr. Ruthfield called me for a positive statement about his new book, I told him, I'm an old man but I'll see." - Ernest Hemingway"I don't care what the polls say, I'll be re-elected in 2024 and make Amazon pay their taxes especially on books like Satire for the Soul which I'm planning to ban from all public libraries including the Library of Congress." - President Joe Biden "As long as this publication is in print, we will not only sell it on Amazon but give it praiseworthy public awareness in the Washington Post, although is it really worth cutting down trees to put Satire for the Soul in print?" - Jeff Bezos"Hey, what is this? Who does this guy think he is? Don't come to me for writing something nice on the back cover of a book when everybody knows it's a loser. I'm telling you that this Ruthfield guy is dangerous! He once supported the American Civil Liberties Union, an organization that Hitler, Stalin, Fidel Castro, and Mao Zedong would likely be members of. You got that, buddy?" - Bill O'Reilly
Satire for the Soul
"When Mr. Ruthfield called me for a positive statement about his new book, I told him, I'm an old man but I'll see." - Ernest Hemingway"I don't care what the polls say, I'll be re-elected in 2024 and make Amazon pay their taxes especially on books like Satire for the Soul which I'm planning to ban from all public libraries including the Library of Congress." - President Joe Biden "As long as this publication is in print, we will not only sell it on Amazon but give it praiseworthy public awareness in the Washington Post, although is it really worth cutting down trees to put Satire for the Soul in print?" - Jeff Bezos"Hey, what is this? Who does this guy think he is? Don't come to me for writing something nice on the back cover of a book when everybody knows it's a loser. I'm telling you that this Ruthfield guy is dangerous! He once supported the American Civil Liberties Union, an organization that Hitler, Stalin, Fidel Castro, and Mao Zedong would likely be members of. You got that, buddy?" - Bill O'Reilly
The Little Tan Man and Other Silly Stories
A short introduction about the production of this publication, to avoid frustration and reduce aggravation, this book uses imagination and some explanation, to enhance our elation and express jubilation at the use of words in silly situations. This book is about words...rhyming words, near rhyming words, eye rhymes, antonyms, synonyms, homonyms, and many others. This book has funny sounding words, made up words, alliteration, idioms, figures of speech, and malapropisms. Colorful illustrations add to the silliness and humor in this book. Especially written for immature adults serving as grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and "grown up" cousins. This book will give them something to share with the children in their lives or any others who like learning words, using words, and playing silly games with words.
Adulthood Is a Gift!
With new and classic Sarah's Scribbles comics, essays, stickers, and more, this book is a celebration of one of the best loved comic voices of a generation. With 100 comics, 15 essays, and dozens of photos and sketches, the fifth Sarah's Scribbles book offers a rare look behind the creative process of one of the most original and beloved comic artists of a generation. A comedic companion to her first book, the bestselling Adulthood is a Myth, the artwork and writing in Adulthood is a Gift! is a celebration of the many experiences and life lessons the author has picked up in her decade of making viral, relatable, and award-winning comics and books. This book also includes a sticker sheet.
What in the World?!
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER - "This book is the inspirational story that we all need. No one makes me laugh harder than Leanne Morgan!"--Reese Witherspoon The beloved comedy sensation packs a hilarious punch with real talk about what it's like to be a woman today--from rebelling against the latest diet trends to dealing with perimenopausal mean girls and attending rock concerts in middle age. For a long time, no one pulling the strings in the comedy world thought that a woman over fifty from rural Tennessee could make it in the industry. But Leanne Morgan has defied the odds, reaching millions with her musings on hormones, low-rise britches, Weight Watchers, and her opposites-attract relationship with her husband, Chuck. In her charming southern accent, Morgan brings readers inside her quest to find her voice after spending many years trying to figure out what that meant. Along the way, we learn how she grew up as a butcher's daughter, landed a husband with health insurance, honed her stand-up technique selling jewelry at house parties, embraced the glories of aging, and surrendered to the comfort of wearing big flesh-toned panties. Equal parts warm and hilarious, this book is a must-read by one of comedy's rising stars--reminding you that every time life leaves you asking "What in the world?!," something good is bound to come out of it someday.
Cinderella Claps Back
North Carolina author Traci Claywell has released a satirical allegory, Cinderella Claps Back: The Reckoning, about two opposing forces in today's American politics: female voters and MAGA. Using both observation and imagination, Claywell presents one possible scenario for the burning quandary of the day: what's going to happen to our country? In Cinderella Claps Back: The Reckoning, the answer to that serious question is played out by a team of familiar childhood characters using their vision, intelligence, and grit.Working with a team of talented artists in Ukraine, Claywell has included 16 pages of full-color illustrations in this whimsical fairy tale for adults.When the Fairy Bureau of Investigation uncovers a plot to overthrow the Palace on Charlotte's Dark Web, Queen Ella and her cabinet of ministers must devise a plan to keep Rumplestiltskin and his horde of angry, brown-coated wolves at bay."He gimped back and forth slowly from one end of the stage to the other, clapping back to the audience, his minions, his all-adoring tools. He knew they would believe anything he said. He was the only character who said things outwardly that they believed privately but were too hesitant to say out loud. He removed the plugs from their private jugs of resentment, stirred their pots of bitterness, and electrified their disappointments into a blaze of self-deluded victimhood. In a nutshell, he validated their hate. And they adored him for it."Rumpelstiltskin licked his slobbery lips as his eyes glazed with power. Seconds turned to minutes as the chanting continued. Rumpelstiltskin returned to the middle of the stage and, with his head held way back, eyes closed as if standing under a shower of golden rain, he raised both arms into the air in the form of a cross and soaked it up. The wolves howled even louder, eventually reducing his quadric-syllabic name to just one word."Traci Claywell is a graduate of Wake Forest University and the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, where she earned her B.A and M.A. in Psychology and Counselor Education, respectively. She worked with children and adolescents as a school counselor before migrating to Beaufort, North Carolina, where she published two community newspapers: The Beaufort Gam and The Venture of Carteret County.Cinderella Claps Back: The Reckoning is available in both soft cover and eBook format.For more information visit cinderellaclapsback.com
Fortune Favors the Bold
Fortune Favors the Bold is an exciting new series of books in which YOU are the hero of your own story - a story which changes based on the decisions YOU make! It's just like real life, only vastly more interesting and infinitely more exciting than your wildest dreams. And unlike similar stories you may have read as a child, these ones are totally full of violence, drugs, sex and gore - the way you always wished they had been!This is a tale best told amongst friends, in a faux English accent and under the influence... A tale of high adventure and low brows. A chronicle of necromancy, dragon slaying and lust. An epic retelling of the legend of an ancient myth long lost in the annals of a time before time. When the Scissorwulf discovers thieves trafficking in the sale of unicorn horns, it is up to him to dole out his own violent brand of justice. But it is up to YOU to determine how he does it! It is a world where only the strong survive, and fortune favors the bold!"You're either on to something with this, or it's the world's best ultra-narrow niche book that no one will ever read. But the tiny elite that do read it will be changed forever." - Benjamin T. Osborne
Honeybird
Following a near-death experience, Clark Burrows, an aspiring journalist, calls on his best friend, Johnny, to make the most of their fading youth. The plan? Exploit every drug possible in order to reach the full potential of their human senses. But it doesn't turn out to be the rewarding experience they had expected, and Clark is soon forced to challenge his deepest beliefs and confront the darkest corners of his soul, transforming the trip into a journey of self-discovery and introspection. Drugs can alter the mind, change perception and meddle with consciousness, but they are never to be underestimated. If a tiny speck of paracetamol in a sugar-coated tablet can erase a gut-wrenching fever, a headache and a case of the sweats, imagine what an injection direct to the bloodstream can do-better yet, a toxic deliriant of most wicked and evil capability. Through narcotics, stimulants, dissociatives and psychedelics, the objective was clear, but easy to lose sight of when uncanny situations, hilarious shortcomings, tricky romances and dodgy dealers threaten to derail their plan. Clark and Johnny quickly learn how fragile, yet powerful the human psyche can be, experiencing feelings and worlds otherwise unknown, stumbling upon substances that weren't listed-and some, they didn't know existed. Journalism was the excuse. Curiosity was the drive.
A Wandering Mind
In "A Wandering Mind," author Tony Moceri takes readers on a delightful and thought-provoking journey through the twists and turns of his ever-curious mind. This collection of essays, musings, and personal anecdotes explores a wide range of topics, from the importance of creativity and play to the challenges of navigating life's unexpected detours.With a refreshing blend of humor, honesty, and insight, Moceri invites readers to embrace the power of letting their own minds wander. He shares hard-won wisdom from his experiences as an entrepreneur, coach, and family man, while also diving into the joys of pursuits like yard games, road trips, and connecting with nature.Through stories of his triumphs and tribulations, Moceri encourages readers to approach life with an open mind, to find meaning in the journey, and to never stop learning and growing. Whether he's reflecting on the lessons learned from a beloved pet or the importance of living life to the fullest, Moceri's warm, relatable voice makes readers feel like they're engaged in a conversation with a wise and witty friend.Ultimately, "A Wandering Mind" is a celebration of the beauty and complexity of the human experience. It's a reminder to embrace our curiosity, to find joy in the simple things, and to let our minds wander to unexpected places. This book is a testament to the power of a life well-lived and an inspiration to anyone seeking to make the most of their own journey.
Hope It All Works Out!
The absurd antics, good-natured sarcasm, and misguided optimism of Mouse, Bird, Turtle, and Snail are inspiring and infectious, and a reminder that sometimes the best plan is to have no plans at all. The perfect book for comic lovers of all kinds, Hope It All Works Out offers a deep dive into the Poorly Drawn Lines comics of New York Times bestselling author Reza Farazmand. On the surface, the animals in Poorly Drawn Lines are sophisticated, decadent creatures -- Turtle sports a beret, Snail wears shades, Bird smokes cigarettes, and Mouse assumes a fighting stance when anyone challenges his emotional fragility. But lurking beneath their surface images is a surprising warmth and charming naivete that provides the perfect setup for Reza Farazmand's unparalleled sense of humor. This author-curated collection of new comics and greatest hits showcases the unique and charming world of these small animals and the amusing gap between their tough guy images and animal innocence. Familiar to millions of readers of the Poorly Drawn Lines webcomic and FX animated series on Hulu, this book collection includes dozens of never-before-seen comics.
Aging & Ending
Michael N. Marcus is a journalist, editor, bestselling author of more than 40 books, award-winning advertising copywriter, publisher, gourmand, nitpicker, raconteur and mostly successful amateur attorney. He lives in Connecticut with wife Marilyn, the ghost of their golden retriever Hunter, lots of books, movies, and black boxes with flashing lights. He says, "This is my 42nd book. I hope it's not my last book, but maybe it's my best book. I've enjoyed writing and reading it-and I am hard to please." After nearly eight decades observing, analyzing and evaluating human and animal behavior, Marcus has many interests and a lot to say about a lot of things. Book topics range from creation to cremation, plus androids & apologies, license plates & poetic license, Ann landers & Chef Boyardee, kasha & kale, egg creams & beer, war & peace, pumice & Pumas, pizza & pasta, scrovney & fibbling juice, Bronx & Brooklyn, Roman emperors & Greek gods, Karl Marx & Groucho Marx, Heaven & Hell, love & hate, rabbis and priests, stuffed animals & real ones, Mother Nature & Sisters, electrocution & resurrection, reading & writing, skiing & SCUBA diving, lettuce & lawsuits, beards & baldness, rubber alligators & rubbers, lasagna & lima beans, memories & mammaries, t-shirts & jock straps, kids & parents, seasonings & seasons, music & modeling, surgery & sinecure, medication & defecation, cars & bicycles, bullshit & reality, cops & robbers, April Fools & Halloween, chick magnetism & menage a trois, media malfunctions, a giant penguin, an exploding belly... and more. The book is mostly mirthful and minimally morbid, and there's something in it for everyone..
Over The Sliprails
Over the Sliprails by Henry Lawson is a poignant collection of short stories set in the rural bushlands of colonial-era Australia. Through vivid character portraits and a realistic portrayal of rural life, Lawson captures the economic hardship and emotional struggles faced by individuals and communities. The stories explore the dynamics within small, isolated communities, highlighting themes of mateship, resilience, and human connection. The impact of nature on daily life is ever-present, influencing the characters' survival instincts and shaping their cultural identity. Lawson's lyrical prose conveys the beauty and harshness of the outback, while his social commentary sheds light on the socioeconomic challenges of the time. Amidst the adventures and adversities faced by these everyday heroes, a sense of melancholy and longing permeates the narratives, reflecting the deep emotional undercurrents of bush life and it is a testament to Lawson's ability to depict the complexities captures the rugged beauty and unforgiving realities of the Australian bush, showcasing Lawson's extraordinary ability to portray the human spirit in its rawest and authentic form.
Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes 2025 Day-To-Day Calendar
Fun for at work or at home, this daily calendar is jam-packed with 1,000 family-friendly jokes appropriate for adults and kids of all ages. Based on the bestselling book series Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids by Rob Elliott, this calendar packs multiple jokes on each day's page. Pun-filled Q&A and knock-knock jokes promise a 2025 filled with giggles and grins! Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse drive? A: A Minnie-van. Q: What do you get when you cross an automobile with a dog? A: A car-pet! Knock, knock. Who's there?Gideon. Gideon who?Gideon the car, and let's go! The calendar's features include: No single-use plastic Recyclable chipboard easel backer for desk or tabletop display Page size: 4.606" x 4.606" Printed on FSC certified paper with soy-based ink Tear-off pages Back of pages are blank for notes or shopping lists Day/Date reference on each page Combined weekend pages Official major world holidays and observances Lots of silly, pun-derful jokes!
We May Not Be Crazy, But Sometimes I Wonder
Have you ever had a day straight from hell? The kids are driving you crazy, and everything that could possibly go wrong has. Welcome to everyday family life. How does one cope? Find out in this humorous and inspiring book.Called a modern Erma Bombeck, Lynda Pilon recounts her experiences as a wife, mother, and grandmother-dealing with situations that will resonate with many readers. Through her creative methods, she demonstrates how to navigate the joys and challenges of daily life with a sense of humour, often transforming chaos into calm. She tells us don't sweat the small stuff, even while you are dripping wet from the heat to give you a refreshing perspective on managing life's ups and downs.This book will: Bring a smile to your face when you most need itReveal some unorthodox albeit successful ways to adapt to life's challenges Show you that living life to the fullest is the only way to travelRemind you that laughter, especially at yourself, can be a sanity saver
Leslie F*cking Jones
WINNER OF THE 2024 AUDIE AWARD FOR HUMOR A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A BARNES AND NOBLE'S BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR A TOWN & COUNTRY BEST CELEBRITY MEMOIR OF 2023 A VULTURE BEST COMEDY BOOK OF 2023 Hey you guys, it's Leslie. I'm excited to share my story with you. Now, I'm gonna be honest: Some of the details might be vague because a b*tch is fifty-five and she's smoked a ton of weed. But while bits might be a touch hazy, I can promise you the underlying truth is REAL. Whether I'm talking about my childhood growing up in the South, my early stand-up days driving from gig to gig through the darkest parts of our country and praying I wouldn't get murdered, what Chris Rock told Lorne Michaels, that time I wanted to shoot Whoopi Goldberg on SNL, and yeah, I'll tell you all about Ghostbusters and the nudes and Supermarket Sweep and The Daily Show . . . I'm sharing it all in these pages. It's not easy being a woman in comedy, especially when you're a tall-*ss Black woman with a trumpet voice. I have to fight so that no one takes me for granted, and no one takes advantage. These are the stories that explain why. (Cue the Law & Order theme.)
The Old Jewish Men's Guide to Eating, Sleeping, and Futzing Around
From the viral social media account @oldjewishmen comes a hilarious and irresistible guide and perfect gift for every OJM and the people who put up with him Here is a humorous, surprisingly stylish, and crotchety celebration of a most fascinating group of fellas: Old Jewish Men. In this essential guide, readers learn how to eat, dress, get around town, and schmooze like a seasoned OJM. Ever wonder why Old Jewish Men eat so much cottage cheese and melon? If Larry David and Bernie Sanders have the same barber? Who is the next great up-and-coming OJM? (NOTE: You don't need to be old, Jewish, or a man--it's a lifestyle.) Plus, there's helpful jargon, detailed deli and coffee shop rundowns, and the ten OJM archetypes, from New York Schlubs to Tough Guys to Grumpy Intellectuals. A perfect gift for any Jewish dad/granddad/uncle/brother or anybody who likes a healthy shmear of classic Jewish humor, the book is full of hilarious full-color illustrations and chapters including: How to Exist in This Fakakta World; The Art of the Schmooze; How to Live Forever; and King of the Temple.
A Wandering Mind
Hardback: Case LaminateIn "A Wandering Mind," author Tony Moceri takes readers on a delightful and thought-provoking journey through the twists and turns of his ever-curious mind. This collection of essays, musings, and personal anecdotes explores a wide range of topics, from the importance of creativity and play to the challenges of navigating life's unexpected detours.With a refreshing blend of humor, honesty, and insight, Moceri invites readers to embrace the power of letting their own minds wander. He shares hard-won wisdom from his experiences as an entrepreneur, coach, and family man, while also diving into the joys of pursuits like yard games, road trips, and connecting with nature.Through stories of his triumphs and tribulations, Moceri encourages readers to approach life with an open mind, to find meaning in the journey, and to never stop learning and growing. Whether he's reflecting on the lessons learned from a beloved pet or the importance of living life to the fullest, Moceri's warm, relatable voice makes readers feel like they're engaged in a conversation with a wise and witty friend.Ultimately, "A Wandering Mind" is a celebration of the beauty and complexity of the human experience. It's a reminder to embrace our curiosity, to find joy in the simple things, and to let our minds wander to unexpected places. This book is a testament to the power of a life well-lived and an inspiration to anyone seeking to make the most of their own journey.
Hey, Jesus, It's Me
Instagram star and comedian Ellen Skrmetti shares stories behind her wildly popular "Hey Jesus, It's Me" sketches of a middle-aged, southern-woman's opinions on mamas, menopause, and menus--and on giving the Lord a bit of advice about those unspoken prayer requests. As a young girl, Ellen Skrmetti loved performing. She starred in plays, sang in the church choir, and even competed in the Miss Mississippi pageant. But backstage at the pageant, she was gripped by severe stage fright and made a deal with God: If you help me get through this, I will never, ever get onstage again. After successfully hitting the high note in "Adelaide's Lament" from the musical Guys and Dolls, she packed up her drama clothes for good--or so she thought. When the pandemic hit, Ellen longed to bring a little joy to the dark struggles the world was facing. She thought about all of times she'd asked Jesus to walk with her through pain and heartache--and how often He'd laughed with or comforted her, even during her blazing hot flashes. So she decided to share that message with others, in 30-second videos on Instagram that quickly went viral. Holding a remote control in her hand, Ellen "calls" Jesus with comments and questions, including asking Him not to make her an advance maternal age mama (again) and if He could bless the nourishment of her food to someone else's body. She also asks for advice when her best friend's ex-husband's new wife shows up in the next pew, or what nursing home plans to make when she's eight years past your first geriatric pregnancy. From a pageant queen with stage fright, to viral videos, to her growing popularity as a stand-up comedian with sold-out performances, Ellen's humor is rooted in southern charm and culture. Her relatable stories in Hey Jesus, It's Me will bring levity to our lives, or at least some validation that we're not the only ones asking if we can ghost our relatives in heaven.
Little President Trump's Sandbox (hardcover)
The sandbox that is the American sceneis the place where Little President Trump can be seen.In a story of pictures and rhymes we relatehow a boy with a dream makes a sandbox that's great.
Demystifying SPORT - A Guide To Pretending You Know What's Going On
Are you out of your league when the conversation turns to sport? Maybe you've listened to friends or family arguing ferociously about the offside rule or Maradona's hand, and wondered how soon you can retreat.Perhaps you've watched Formula One cars perpetually navigating the same circuit sixty-odd times and been perplexed as to the point. Or you've sat through five days of Test Match Cricket because you really love that person - but you still have no idea what (the) silly point is.If you can relate to these situations (or any version thereof), then Demystifying SPORT - A Guide To Pretending You Know What's Going On is the book for you. Designed as an easy-to-read coffee-table companion, it covers seven of the most popular sports worldwide whilst being written in plain and simple English. There's even a strawberry and cream side of humour! (See Tennis if you're confused).With this book beside you, your days of being a sporting outcast are consigned to the sin bin and bonus! bragging rights are in the bag as a hole-in-one awaits when you ace the multiple-choice quiz at the end.It's time. You're in pole position, and kick-off is now, so let's play!Squeeze into the driving seat and let Demystifying SPORT whizz you around the track with your very own yellow jersey flapping gloriously in the wind.Only one question remains: are you ready to bowl out the competition?
Be Nice To Your Mum, Motherf*ckers
Be Nice to Your Mum, MotherF**kers is a book for all the exhausted mums out there, whose offspring may not be giving them the appreciation and kindness that they deserve. Utterly irrelevant, brutally honest and laugh out loud hilarious, Be Nice to Your Mum, MotherF**kers is comedian Jenny Wynter's poetic ode to the unappreciated mama and will resonate with anybody whose little - and not-so-little - offspring (cough, teenagers, cough cough) who can feel less like angelic cherubs borne from the clouds of heaven and more like demonic gargoyles birthed from the loins of Mordor.Just like its author, this book is real, raw and occasionally unsuitable for children.But aren't we all?Be nice to your Mum, motherfuckers'cos whether you know it or notShe's there's even when you're a shit showEven when you're the world's biggest snot
Mr. Lovenstein Presents: Feelings
Perfect for fans of CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS and DINOSAUR THERAPY - MR. LOVENSTEIN PRESENTS: FEELINGS takes readers on a rollercoaster of emotions that we deal with everyday. Get ready to catch feelings in this brand-new collection of Mr. Lovenstein comics, including exclusive never-before-seen comics that can't be found anywhere else. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll wonder if the tingling sensation in your stomach are butterflies...or something...else...! Massively popular webcomics author J.L. Westover follows up his Eisner-nominated debut by taking readers on a rollercoaster of emotions in MR. LOVENSTEIN PRESENTS: FEELINGS.
Sterling Wit and Wisdom 1,065 Greatest Things Ever Said
If you need comedic relief from bleak times and depression, if you want to have your mind stimulated repeatedly, dramatically increase your intelligence, see things from new perspectives, gain insights, be inspired, and lose weight by laughing your ass off, then this book is definitely for you. Sterling Wit & Wisdom 1,065 Greatest Things Ever Said by Steve Sterling is an original, highly entertaining, often hilarious, deeply profound, and frequently provocative compendium of rollicking quotations, aphorisms and philosophical utterances that are inspirational perceptions, positive, uplifting advice, brilliant wit, delightfully clever puns, bawdy one-liners, salacious satire, hilarious quips, and unusually keen, penetrating, and brutally honest observations - dipped in searing sarcasm and served on a hotbed of candid social commentary, scathing invectives, shocking cynicism, and apropos mockery. Enjoy reading the finest collection of 1,065 unique, powerful quotations of brilliant truths, wise advice, hysterically funny witticisms, irreverent humor, and politically incorrect lampooning - all created and written by the world's most outrageous philosopher: Steve Sterling Reading this dynamic book of thought-provoking wit, wisdom, and epic epigrams will definitely change your life for the better, and it's now available without a prescription. Sterling Wit and Wisdom is destined to be a collector's item. Get this book now before it's banned!
Worse Than You Think
In contemporary American politics, where absurdity often overshadows reality, Worse Than You Think emerges as a refreshingly candid and witty account of what happens when ordinary individuals, fueled by a blend of idealism and frustration, leap into the political arena. This narrative dives into the real-life journey of a high school teacher, Edward "Todd" Allen, who took the bold step of running for Congress in 2018. Along for the ride was his best friend and fellow educator, Heath Hamrick, who had a simple job: make everything work out in the end. Todd and Heath embark on a quest to fix the "crazy circus" of our partisan divide, only to find themselves in a series of comical and eye-opening situations, encountering bizarre characters that could only arise deep in the heart of American politics. Worse Than You Think offers laughter, surprises, and perhaps a spark of inspiration to those contemplating their role in democracy. Whether you're seeking validation for your political cynicism, a guide on what not to do in a political campaign, or just a good laugh, this book promises to be an engaging read.
The Jolliest Bunch
From the New York Times bestselling author of How Do I Un-Remember This? and host of the hit podcast Everything Iconic with Danny Pellegrino comes a collection of tragically hilarious holiday mishaps.For many families, the holiday season is--quite frankly--unhinged. Whether that involves inappropriately improvised monologues at the children's Christmas pageant, gifts that land someone in the emergency room, or just sitting through the emotional rollercoaster of a Hallmark movie marathon, the holidays are a chaotic and magical time. And nobody knows this better than Danny Pellegrino.For Danny, the holidays are always accompanied by both merriment and mayhem. And like the gay Ghost of Christmas Past, he's here to take you on a nostalgic trip through his most festive memories in a collection of stories that are heartfelt, hilarious, and (unfortunately) true. So grab your favorite winter beverage, snuggle up by the crackling fireplace, and turn up the holiday tunes from the pop diva of your choosing. The Jolliest Bunch is a healthy dose of holiday cheer to prepare you for the unhinged season ahead and remind you of the moments that make all the chaos worth it.
The Book of Taylor
Everything you need to know about the queen of the charts and our hearts. From her signature red lip to her endless list of chart-topping hits, Taylor Swift is a force to be reckoned with. Every blank space in The Book of Taylor has been filled with colorful collages of our fave cat-loving, Grammy-winning, country-pop queen, alongside 50 T-Swiz facts, including her biggest fears, her unpublished manuscript, her go-to drive-through order, and more. Go beyond friendship bracelets and get to know your dream BFF on a whole other level.
The Ultimate Family Christmas Cracker Advent Book
"The Fun and Interactive Advent Calendar Alternative for 2023"**2023 Edition: All new facts, all new jokes, even more fun games!**Combining two of the world's most beloved Christmas traditions: advent calendars and Christmas crackers, The Ultimate Family Christmas Cracker Book is a fun and exciting new concept in the world of books! It's a hilarious, yet educational and interactive way to spend time with your family over the Christmas period.Designed with all ages in mind, there are activities, jokes, games and more for every member of the family. From Christmas sudoku to word scrambles and more, there's holiday magic on every page.The Ultimate Family Christmas Cracker Book is the latest book from leading non-fiction author, Jenny Kellett. Her colorful and engaging books have entertained children and adults for nearly 10 years.25-Day Advent CalendarEnjoy turning a new page every day-just make sure not to peek ahead! Each day is chock-full of timeless fun facts, quizzes, and more. Unlike traditional advent calendars, the book is perfect for keeping as a memory of each holiday season.Christmas Book Features: 130 Beautifully-designed full-colour pagesFamily-friendlyDaily Silly Christmas JokesDaily Christmas Trivia QuizDaily Fun Facts12 Family-Friendly Activity PagesExclusive Christmas competition at the end of the bookIndependently publishedWhat better way to start the holiday season?! Scroll up to order your copy today for 25 days of guaranteed laughs and fun!
My Husband and other animals - Book 2
About the Book'GREAT STORIES OF THE UPS AND THE DOWNS, THE PLEASURES AND THE PERILS, OF LIVING ON THE EDGE OF THE JUNGLE.' -MARK TULLY, AUTHOR OF NON-STOP INDIA'We've lived here at Pambukudivanam for 20 years now and many are the trees we planted that you can't put your arms around. Orioles, treepies, woodpeckers, kingfishers, spotted owlets and parakeets also call it home, and the resident rat snake regularly sheds his 7-foot-long skin below the expansive banyan tree shading our house.' -Rom WhitakerMy Husband and Other Animals, Janaki Lenin's first book, was lauded by readers and critics alike. With this compilation, she returns with more stories of the quirky and wonderful life she shares with her husband, Rom Whitaker, and an array of wild creatures-from leopards to king cobras. Janaki's enthusiasm and passion for the wild finds a voice in the pages of her book, while her curiosity about the world she inhabits infuses these light-hearted, yet thought-provoking stories with unique insight. As much a chronicle of Janaki and Rom's unusual life as it is a wild and eventful journey, My Husband and Other Animals 2: Wildlife Adventures Continue is a witty, delightful read.About the AuthorJanaki Lenin has always had an interest in animals but living with Rom took it to the stratospheric level. They lived in the Madras Crocodile Bank for a few years, surrounded by thousands of crocodiles, snakes, turtles, and lizards. Rom and Janaki made documentaries about wildlife in wild places for a living. When they moved to their farm in rural Tamil Nadu, Janaki thought it would be a perfect retreat after the many arduous months of filming. Instead, a whole new set of challenges popped up-from pesky tree frogs and adamant Russell's vipers to a dog-eating leopard. She thinks she's made her peace with the many wild creatures who have staked claim to their farm, but who knows what tomorrow may bring. Rom and Janaki live with four dogs, a pair of emus, a flock of geese and a pig. It's her childhood dream come true.
My Husband and other animals - Book 1
About the Book'GREAT STORIES OF THE UPS AND THE DOWNS, THE PLEASURES AND THE PERILS, OF LIVING ON THE EDGE OF THE JUNGLE.' -MARK TULLY, AUTHOR OF NON-STOP INDIARom felt that all the trappings of the human world interfered with his ability to find king cobras. So he discarded his watch and shoes and stripped down to a loin cloth. Not the best attire for his first brush with the devil nettle!What's it like being married to Rom Whitaker- herpetologist, wildlife conservationist and founder of the Madras Snake Park and Madras Crocodile Bank? Janaki Lenin, his wife, tells us, 'There's never a dull moment.'In this compilation of stories, Janaki-also an animal enthusiast-gives us a peek into the zany and unpredictable world that Rom and she have built together, deep in southern India. They battle tree frogs that insist on colonising their house, travel to the wilds of the world pursuing venomous snakes and monster crocodiles, devote precious hours to befriending Gila monsters, playing with porcupines and taming opinionated shrews.Entertaining, playful and downright amusing, the essays shed light on the kingdoms of beasts and plants. They provide flashes of insight into animal disposition, relate human stories about the world and our place in it and demystify nature's secret code. Most of all, they highlight Rom and Janaki's wide-eyed wonder at sharing this diverse planet with all creatures, large and small.About the AuthorJanaki Lenin has always had an interest in animals but living with Rom took it to the stratospheric level. They lived in the Madras Crocodile Bank for a few years, surrounded by thousands of crocodiles, snakes, turtles, and lizards. Rom and Janaki made documentaries about wildlife in wild places for a living. When they moved to their farm in rural Tamil Nadu, Janaki thought it would be a perfect retreat after the many arduous months of filming. Instead, a whole new set of challenges popped up-from pesky tree frogs and adamant Russell's vipers to a dog-eating leopard. She thinks she's made her peace with the many wild creatures who have staked claim to their farm, but who knows what tomorrow may bring. Rom and Janaki live with four dogs, a pair of emus, a flock of geese and a pig. It's her childhood dream come true.
