It must be whine O’Clock
The book of hilarious rhymes and illustrations capturing the very joy (ahem) of parenthood. A must read for anyone about to embark on the journey, as well as all the fully fledged parents out there! You will laugh, you may cry, but I can guarantee you will recognise yourself in there!
”A Patient Man Named Joe Watched Trump Refuse to Go...”
These "Odes to the Messiest, Wackiest, & Wildest Presidential Transition in Modern History" capture the faces, events, and overall absurdity of the period following the 2020 US election. Notwithstanding the humor and playful illustrations, they depict one of the most turbulent periods in modern American political history.Making HistoryTrump's the first to have been impeached twiceRaised the bar up a notch with his viceIf he had some more timeHe'd concoct a new crimeWhich would help him to make it to thrice.FarewellsAs momentum for Joe Biden swellsWorld leaders begin their farewellsSome are sad Trump will goMany others less soAnd they all know for whom toll the bells.Proceeds from sales of this book will be donated to MomsRising - https: //www.momsrising.org - in recognition of the powerful voice of women in changing the US for the better, and the important work the organization undertakes.
Book of ?Mindsets?
It's a Spacey Book...Paged with Questions? If you can look at it in a Humorous Vein You might....Smile, Laugh or call it a Name One could also be...A little bit Thoughtful Then... Together with Humor it might be..... Boughtful
Ponderings Anthology Second Edition
Ponderings Second Year Anthology is a collection of Australian stories about inspiring people and quirky parts of the human story. A curation of our popular stories from the 2020 Ponderings digital magazine, featuring Blazeaid, Art Simone, Melissa Griffiths, Debb Oliver, Tom Stodulka, Jane Bunn, Sarah Healy, Des Carter, Brad Walls, Julia Lorent, Katie Moore, Kate O'Donnell, Janelle McMillan, along with our team of writers; Kirsten Macdonald, Renae Failla, Cassidy Krygger and Montanna Macdonald. This special hardcover edition with iconic illustrations themed with old worlde botany, flora and fauna; this year's collection is a feast for the heart and mind. Wherefore Art Thou Drag Kween- we ponder with Art SimoneA Forecast of Charisma and Not a Plain Jane in Sight - Pondering with Jane BunnThe Evolution of Dogs- from wolf to beloved petThe Tangible Oscillation of Us - A dash of science with some philosophical ponderingsDear Grown Ups- An ode to parent and child 2020The Negative Thinkers Guide to the Galaxy - A satirical view on the thinker...The Blazing Heart of Community - Australian Bushfire heroesInterview With Debb Oliver - The Monkey Brush - Artist InterviewThe Magic of Bees and The Beauty of Numbers in Nature- Essay on Ian Stewart Five More Minutes - Julia Lorent and a powerful insight into her mother. Food Glorious Food- Autism and Eating -Planet SpectrumExercise Myths, Activewear and Do You Want Coffee With That? Sarah Healy writes for us!The Small Town Boy Who Undressed Marilyn - Orry Kelly & Pondering Hollywood The Famous Mrs Fanny Finch - Australian hero How Books Save Us - best selling author Karen Brooks looks at the year that was and the magic of readingCommunication Insights and Getting Grounded in a World of Chaos - we welcome Kinesiologist and therapist Des Carter How to Encourage a Love of Reading in Your Children - Ponderings welcomes Katie Moore from LuxureadMessages of Hope - Australian Artist Tom Stodulka Ponders with usI Am Too Tired to Friend - Is Friendship a dying art or has COVID just made us exhausted?The Great Australia Pottery Revival - Brilliant Aussie Potters state by stateThe Ghost Lights of Australian Nights- Ponderings The spooky insights into the Min Min lights Olympic Sport, The Birds Eye View of Art - We Ponder with Brad WallsFOUR PAWS Save Bear Vubs Nikko and Nara - Bear Rescue Heroes Five Ways To Identify if Your Workplace is Toxic - We welcome Melissa Griffiths to unpack the tipsShapeshifters, Hairy Dancers and Things That Go Bump In The Night - Monsters; they come in all shapes and sizesTo Be Human Is To Be Musical - We Ponder with Allison DaviesIs There A Dying Cat? No It Is The Art of Singing - Janelle McMillan OAM ponders with usQuirky Tidbits For Dinner Table Fact Dropping - Things that make you go hmmmm?From Mornington To Selfridges; The Turmeric Empire Story - Golden Grind and Ponderings spill the teaThe Ponderings Journey - How it all began
Cross Section of the Corporate Cranium
Smiles guaranteed! May we assume that, since you're now reading this blurb, there's a more than passing interest in continuing your exposure to Roy Schlemme's somewhat eccentric comedic sensibilities. All seven of his 132-page, soft cover titles are still currently available (*Four also done as e-books) from AuthorHouse. They include: Skewed Views Skewed Views Too *The Moon's First Banana Lightin' Up *Pull In Case Of Boredom *Strings Attached *Men's Suits! 25% Off
Dot to Dot Book for Kids Ages 8-12
A Screen-Free Boredom Buster For Your Kid!This awesome dot to dot book features: Variety of themes from cute animals, things that go, mouthwatering food, extraordinary dinosaurs, and many more!There are 3 challenge levelsBonus levels for an even more exciting challenge!A treasure trove of fun, fostering creativity and enhancing motor skills!Dot to Dot activities involve the use of freeform hand drawing guided by having to connect each dot in order to create an image. They provide a unique canvas for your child's budding creativity. As they connect the dots, guided by numbers, a vibrant image begins to form. These activities are excellent tools for boosting hand-eye coordination, refining motor skills, and above all, fueling your child's imagination as they decide the lines' shape and path to complete the picture.Our "Dot to Dot Book for Kids Ages 8-12" comprises three distinct challenge levels, each designed to progressively enhance your child's dot-to-dot skills: Easy Adventure: A gentle introduction to dot-to-dot activities, featuring fewer dots and simpler shapes.Medium Expedition: A step up in complexity, with more dots to join and slightly intricate illustrations.Hard Quest: The ultimate challenge, brimming with a greater number of dots and complex shapes and illustrations. As parents, we always want the best for our children. Providing them with engaging, educational, and enjoyable activities can contribute to their overall development. This dot-to-dot book does exactly that, fostering cognitive growth and unleashing your child's inner artist. Moreover, this activity book presents a fantastic opportunity for quality bonding time. Imagine a rainy afternoon filled with laughter and joy as you and your child explore the world of dot-to-dot together, creating beautiful images while building invaluable skills. So why wait? Scroll up, seize the opportunity, and grab your copy today. Let's give your child a delightful, enriching, and absolutely unforgettable learning journey!
Greasy Lips & Bacon Strips
"Hello...my name is Emma Salisbury but everyone calls me Rooster. I stole some delicious BBQ chicken wings from Kentucky Fried Chicken...but that's not what got me in big trouble. After the girl wouldn't give me any more of those sweet but tangy BBQ sauce packets that you normally get anyway...right?, well I tried to jump over the counter like in the movies, ...but I was wearing my tight blue jeans, and they kept me from really jumping like I normally do...see and I fell over the counter. So my leg goes flying... hits her in the face. I got scared cause she was gonna call the cops right, so I grabbed as much of that BBQ Chicken and as I could, Because like this is it, right?! The law is after me! I'm on the RUN but I got BBQ Chicken! Right! Right!" "So I ran into an alley and sat down in the corner out of sight and like...after I caught my breath, you know, I ate almost all of it..." Oh my god, ...it was so good.
Eliza (Esprios Classics)
Barry Eric Odell Pain (28 September 1864 - 5 May 1928) was an English journalist, poet, humorist and writer. Born in Cambridge, Barry Pain was educated at Sedbergh School and Corpus Christi College, Cambridge. He became a prominent contributor to The Granta. He was known as a writer of parody and lightly humorous stories. In 1889, Cornhill Magazine's editor, James Payn, published his story "The Hundred Gates", and shortly afterwards Pain became a contributor to Punch and The Speaker, and joined the staffs of the Daily Chronicle and Black and White. Pain supposedly "owes his discovery to Robert Louis Stevenson, who compares him to De Maupassant". From 1896 to 1928 he was a regular contributor to the Windsor Magazine.
Subpar Parks
**A New York Times Bestseller!** Based on the wildly popular Instagram account, Subpar Parks features both the greatest hits and brand-new content, all celebrating the incredible beauty and variety of America's national parks juxtaposed with the clueless and hilarious one-star reviews posted by visitors. Subpar Parks, both on the popular Instagram page and in this humorous, informative, and collectible book, combines two things that seem like they might not work together yet somehow harmonize perfectly: beautiful illustrations and informative, amusing text celebrating each national park paired with the one-star reviews disappointed tourists have left online. Millions of visitors each year enjoy Glacier National Park, but for one visitor, it was simply "Too cold for me!" Another saw the mind-boggling vistas of Bryce Canyon as "Too spiky!" Never mind the person who visited the thermal pools at Yellowstone National Park and left thinking, "Save yourself some money, boil some water at home." Featuring more than 50 percent new material, the book will include more depth and insight into the most popular parks, such as Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and Acadia National Parks; anecdotes and tips from rangers; and much more about author Amber Share's personal love and connection to the outdoors. Equal parts humor and love for the national parks and the great outdoors, it's the perfect gift for anyone who loves to spend time outside as well as have a good read (and laugh) once they come indoors.
The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World
This must-have sequel to the bestselling parody book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America proves that all birds are fascinating, wonderful, idiotic jerks--no matter where in the world they reside. "Full of NSFW names and descriptions for different species that'll have you LOL-ing even if you never actually go looking for said birds IRL."--Buzzfeed Following in the tracks of the first uproarious and beloved bird book in the series, this hilarious sequel ventures beyond to identify the stupidest birds around the world. Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky yet accurate names and humorous, anger-filled drawings. Offering a balance of fact and wit, this uproarious profanity-laden handbook will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike. ENTERTAINING AND EDUCATIONAL: This laugh-out-loud funny spoof guide to all things wings includes a matching game, a bird descriptor checklist, and tips on how to identify a bird (you can tell a lot by looking into a bird's eyes, for example). Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. POPULAR AUTHOR: Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds. Other amusing titles from Matt include The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America and OMFG, BEES! A GREAT PRESENT: This is the perfect gift for the bird lovers and haters in your life. It also makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, retirement, or gag gift. Perfect for: Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts People who think birds are creepy or annoying (and people who love birds but also enjoy a good laugh) Anyone looking for the ultimate coffee table book or bar-top conversation starter Gift givers seeking a fun, quirky gift for their favorite bird enthusiast or animal lover
The Best Diversions
An often side-splitting collection of humor from the Network Magazine over the last 10 years. Nearly 400 entries - so funny that you will laugh out loud and probably won't be able to read more than a few pages in one sitting. You'll want to make it last - and you'll want to share it with everyone with whom you enjoy sharing smiles and laughter.
L'almanach de Kino
A l'origine 矇taient des statuts Facebook sous forme d'矇ph矇m矇rides. Et, une chose en entrainant une autre, cela s'est transform矇 en Almanach, en l'enrichissant de petites phrases, textes divers, illustrations, mini nouvelles... Bref, 癟a se lit comme on veut, d'un trait, par bout, dans le m矇tro (avec son masque), dans son bain (avec un tuba), aux toilettes (c'est plus r矇pandu que certains ne le pensent) et ce n'est pas s矇rieux... Enfin, si, quand m礙me...
Oh, the Places You'll Eff Up
Discover the ups and downs of post-college life in this hilarious keepsake graduation gift that parodies Seuss' classic for the modern age.Congrats! Congrats! You've made it so far. You're an adult now, you're even allowed in a bar. But long before you're going to succeed, You'll eff shit up, 100% guaranteed. This ultimate graduation present is sure to bring a nervous smile to the face of any young adult about to face the wide world.
Stare into the Cat
Enter the Void with your favorite pet or trash-eating animal friend in this book of absurdist poetry, illustrated in glorious black and white by the author.Includes poems such as "Cats are Aliens," "The Secret About Possums," "Evil Babies," "You Can't Handle the Void," "Harrison Ford's Nose," "Heavy Metal," "Slapstick," "Cosmic Lasagna," "Smarty Cat," "Motivational Poster" and many more.
Obscure & Irregular
A collection of humorous stories of modern American life by Eli S. Evans, former male model-turned-professional life and writing coach. Spot illustrations by Patrick Giroux sprinkled throughout the text.
American Goulash
A Coming-of-Age Memoir... American Goulash is a story about a nerd girl jousting with her Transylvanian family on the battlefields of suburban New Jersey for a chance to grow up authentically awkward and live a so-called normal American life. Whether casting off old-world wives' tales or turning to art to cope with her immigrant family's general zaniness, Stephanie valiantly finds her own way through adolescence in this heartwarming, hilarious soon-to-be classic.
100 Limericks for the 100 Final Days of Trump
Comic ReliefLimericks have been identified with the Irish County of Limerick, although apparently started elsewhere. One anonymous reader in NY wrote after reading Gilbert's earlier book, "I read the whole book three times and laughed and laughed. Thanks for writing it." Comic relief is aptly named. Even in the heaviness of Shakespearean tragedies there is a need for relief. Limericks seem to fit the bill for that function in the contemporary political scene.E. Reid Gilbert grew up in the tobacco hills of North Carolina, before pursuing academic studies: Brevard College (AA English) Duke University (BA Sociology) Southern Methodist University (MTh Theology) Union Theological Seminary (STM Religious Drama) University of Wisconsin (PhD Asian Theatre) He then pursued several careers: Methodist and Unitarian Ministry College and University Teaching Mime Performer and Instructor Theatre Actor and Director After retiring from those professional pursuits he started writing: Trickster Jack (Tales of the Appalachian trickster, Jack) Shall We Gather at the River (Romance set in the mountains in the 1870s) What Matters (119 poems) Twelve Houses of My Childhood (Stories of early life) Valley Studio: More Than a Place (Stories of Mime Studies and Performances) Several theatre and Film scripts. He claims that throughout the years he's probably been following the gypsies, which his Mamma had warned him about at the age of four.
Hollywood Holocaust
EXCLUSIVE: Eleven insane stories about rich Hollywood celebrities getting what they deserve. Why does Taylor fear 4chan? What does Cthulhu have to do with Kanye and Kim? Why happens when cancel culture becomes literal? Find out in these collection of satirical pieces or horror and dark comedy.
Fast Funny Women
Winner, 2021 Foreword INDIES award "Every man should read this book." --Jay Heinrichs, author of Thank You for Arguing 75 women writers, ages 20 to 89, were invited by editor Gina Barreca to make a party out of their life's most unnerving, challenging, illuminating, desperate, and hilarious moments. You know many of these brilliant women, but you've never heard them like this! With new works commissioned for the book from: Marge Piercy, NYT Bestseller and member of the American Academy of Poets Jane Smiley, Pulitzer-Prize winner Mimi Pond, NYT bestseller graphic artist Liza Donnelly, New Yorker staff cartoonist Fay Weldon, Commander of the British Empire Ilene Beckerman, bestselling author of Love, Loss, and What I Wore Nicole Hollander, Sylvia creator Lisa Landry and Leighann Lord, stand-up comics And many more! Political campaigners, devoted teachers, lousy daughters, good mothers, would-be nuns, admired sportswriters, grad-school-wanna-bes, revenge-driven sisters, frustrated roommates, body-fluid-sorting professionals, lace-loving fashion mavens, intrepid daters, hungry lovers, justice-seeking nasty-women, ACE wedding celebrants, trapped wives, and women with all kinds of ammunition tell their stories--and their stories are all under 750 words.
I Have Something to Say
This is a book of anecdotes, humorous quotes, metaphors, poetry, and rhetoric that I have gathered on this journey called life.
The Beautiful Poetry of Boris Johnson
The Beautiful Poetry of Boris Johnson.What if there's a hidden dimension to Boris Johnson; a sensitive, poetic side? He took on the role of the prime minister and with all the quotes that turned into poetry.This groundbreaking collection gives readers a glimpse of Johnson's innermost thoughts and feelings on everything from the nature of truth.
I Have Something to Say
This is a book of anecdotes, humorous quotes, metaphors, poetry, and rhetoric that I have gathered on this journey called life.
The Strange Misfortune Of Harry Lashing
It's not every day that someone starts to tell you about how they once took a dump, in the haggis vault, of an old house that once belonged to Aleister Crowley and Jimmy Page. Then you find out they were on the sex offenders register for being, mistakenly, branded as a sadomasochist business analyst. When someone starts to tell you those kinds of tales, while serving out the morning gruel, you tend to listen. It turned out that Harry Lashing had quite a few stories to tell. I used to really enjoy it when he was on the duty rota at Blessings care home. Poor old Harry, a man that had been used, and abused, by the corporate world and then thrown onto the scrapheap for just trying to survive. It almost seemed as though fate had taken his name and decided to put him through an absurd set of adventures just for our entertainment. One day, after being told a particularly long story, about how a couple of ice cream salesmen and his devil worshipping boss had convinced him that he could read minds, I realised this story was one that had to be told. Harry was more than willing. Night after night he would come to visit me in my grim little room at the Blessings Care home. Here I wrote all of his adventures into a little book. We had a good discussion about what to call the end result. Eventually we came up with, 'The Strange Misfortune Of Harry Lashing.' I really hope that you enjoy reading this book. Some of the names have been changed but, I have to assure you, this tale is a true one. If you don't believe me search for Harry Lashing on the 'Stichedup' job site. After all the internet is the only place for truth these days isn't it.
Dumb Jokes for Smart Folks
It's time for moms to take back the corny dad joke.Dumb Jokes for Smart Folks delivers a grown-up spin on the quintessential children's joke book. Chock-full of silly wordplay and looney leaps in logic, this collection touches on a variety of topics and themes, from the great outdoors, to parenting, music, and recreational cannabis. Perfect for readers who wish to reconnect with their inner-child or anyone who enjoys a good guffaw- or groan-worthy joke. How do you poach an egg? You just take it when the chicken isn't lookingWhat state is the most inquisitive? Why-omingWhat do you get when you combine guacamole and bread? Avocadough
Limericks of the Lockdown
A light-hearted look at the Coronavirus Pandemic and its affects on the world. Limmericks of the Lockdown tells it how it is with the experience of each of us during the lockdown to stay safe, avoid the COVID-19 virus.
Pearls Awaits the Tide
Prepare to get swept up in a tidal wave of hilarity, sarcasm, and atrocious puns courtesy of award-winning Pearls Before Swine cartoonist Stephan Pastis. For the past 20 years, Pearls Before Swine has been one of the most popular and consistently hilarious comic strip in newspapers. This treasury packs in 18 months' worth of daily comic strips from 2018-2019, including an introduction, essay, and special commentary by the author.
Eagle Claws for Freedoms Cause
"EAGLE CLAWS FOR FREEDOM'S CAUSE" is a sometimes humorous sometimes serious look at America. Her past her present & her future. DeAnna Lorraine who ran for Congress in San Francisco in 2020 is the person who most of the poems in this book are about. A successful author in her own right she has written two books (Making Love Great Again & more recently Taking Back America). She has been a champion for conservative thought. Particularly raising awareness against the evils of modern day Feminism. Although her run did not end with victory at the ballot box. In the process her's became a leading voice in the upswell of conservatism which began to reassert itself again in America in the year 2016. With its influence continuing to grow long into the future. DeAnna has had the honor of being retweeted on six separate occasions by the President of the United States. You can find her on Parler these days. Her unorthodox (energetic) campaign & engaging personality became the inspiration for most of the poems in this book. She is currently on hiatus from hosting her own news show on Infowars. Keeping herself active organizing & attending rallies across the United States. As of this writing I have not yet had the distinct pleasure of meeting her personally but Lord willing I very much look forward to doing so in the near future. The rest of the book contains poems drawing parallels in America from 1776 to the present. With the events beginning in 2016 the unexpected (by many) NOT ME election of President Donald Trump. This cataclysmic event signifying the restoration of America's rightful place as the world's leading beacon of hope for the freedom of man on this planet called earth.
The Lockdown Limericks
Addressing everything from Algorithms to Zoom, The Lockdown Limericks are a lighthearted look at our Covid experience in the UK. Released every day between the 17th March and 2nd October 2020, these verses chronicle 200 days of our pandemic. Author's royalties are for cancer relief
Lenny and the Very Big Show
"Lenny and the Very Big Show" is a cautionary tale written in verse. Lenny is a wealthy dog who seeks power by being chosen as "best in show." When he reaches his goal, he is corrupted by the power into believing that he can say anything and control everything, including the press.
Dirty Would You Rather
Searching for an exciting game to play with your significant other? Look no further because you've never played a game as sexy as this one before!★ This awesome gamebook for couples includes an exclusive and very sexiest selection of questions created by a famous Porn Star ★Flirt Level, Exciting Level and the final super intriguing Naughty Level will turn you on until...you know!These sexy and exciting Would You Rather... questions are a wonderful and naughty twist on the classic game! To play, you and your partner simply take turns asking spicy and outrageous questions such as: Would you rather... Play teacher's pet OR play doctor?Would you rather... Do it in front of a mirror OR on the carpet?Whichever one you choose the results will be sizzlingly HOT! Take turns exploring sexy fantasies, picking dirty sex positions, and discussing kinks you never knew you had!The Dirty Would You Rather gamebook is perfect for: Hot Date Night for lovers, newlyweds, or happily married couplesRekindling Intimacy - Sexual discussion brings a couple closer togetherDiscovering what turns your partner on and open yourself to new sexual possibilities!This is the perfect sexy gift for him or her! Great gift idea for an anniversary, birthday, honeymoon, Valentine's Day, bridal shower, or bachelorette party!*Someone stated - "This gamebook is really the perfect thought-provoking and icebreaker during a romantic evening of sexy conversation that will heat things up"The Dirty Would You Rather - Exciting Nighty Question Game for Couples is the perfect naughty novelty gift and guaranteed to provide hours of sexy fun!Make tonight a night they'll never forget... Scroll up to the top and click on "Add to Cart" button to get your copy NOW!
Holy Holophrase!
Take a common aggravation. Your cat misbehaves. Or you suffer indignities while driving. Or at the supermarket. Or at the doctor's office.You grumble a bit, but then have an idea: "Holophrasis!" That means using one word to capture the situation! Hmmm. Let's deploy or invent an amusing word, and have some fun with misery!That's just what El McMeen does in this rib-tickling book.You'll be LOL and nodding in agreement as you enjoy it!Examples: You are at the grocery store, and another customer is doing dumb things and clogging the aisle. You have encountered "Dopeandhoggin!"When your cat refuses to use the scratching pole, she is practicing "Polavoid!"When the tailgater passes you at warp speed, you are experiencing the feeling of "Mayacopseeya."The book also deals with euphemisms - taking difficult subjects and making them sound nice and pleasant. El shares his two favorites in the book, one having to do with airplanes landing and one having to do with drugs (legal ones).There are plenty of others that will have you chuckling, and making up your own holophrases!
The Cynic’s Word Book
One of Bierce's most famous works. Originally an occasional newspaper item which was first published in book form in 1906 as The Cynic's Word Book. It consists of satirical definitions of English words which lampoon cant and political double-talk. Under the entry "leonine", meaning a single line of poetry with an internal rhyming scheme, he included an apocryphal couplet written by the apocryphal Bella Peeler Silcox (Ella Wheeler Wilcox) in which an internal rhyme is achieved in both lines only by mispronouncing the rhyming words: The electric light invades the dunnest deep of Hades. Cries Pluto, 'twixt his snores: "O tempora! O mores!" Later published as The Devil's Dictionary, the title Bierce himself preferred to The Cynic's Word Book.
The Innocents Abroad (Royal Collector’s Edition) (Case Laminate Hardcover with Jacket)
The Innocents Abroad, or The New Pilgrims' Progress is a travel book by American author Mark Twain which humorously chronicles what Twain called his "Great Pleasure Excursion" on board the chartered vessel Quaker City through Europe and the Holy Land with a group of American travelers in 1867. It was the best-selling of Twain's works during his lifetime, as well as one of the best-selling travel books of all time.The Innocents Abroad explores he conflict between history and the modern world. Twain continually encounters petty profiteering and trivializations of history as he journeys, as well as a strange emphasis placed on particular past events. He is either outraged, puzzled, or bored by each encounter. During Twain's voyage many of his illusions are shattered, including his discovery that the nations described in the Old Testament could easily fit inside many American states and counties, and that the "kings" of those nations might very well have ruled over fewer people than could be found in some small towns.This case laminate collector's edition includes a Victorian inspired dust-jacket.
On Line With God (G-Mail) The Ultimate Icon
On Line With God (G-Mail) The Ultimate Icon is a collection of electronic memos or E-mail from a Judeo-Christian Almighty representing no particular Christian denomination or movement of Judaism. Envision a deity resembling the late, Walter Matthau in his baseball cap and, well, close enough for road work. The humorous memos are directed to people, places and even animated characters and were designed for people with a sense of humor because, after all, where do you think that sense of humor came from? The eBook, On Line With God, (G-Mail), The Ultimate Icon, Volume 1 can be purchased for $8.99 at Amazon.
The Mikado
The Mikado is one of Gilbert and Sullivan's most celebrated comic operas and is as popular today as it was when it first opened in 1885. By setting the opera in Japan, W. S. Gilbert was able to satirise British politics and institutions freely but everyone understood who was the true target for the humour. In my updated version I have set the action in a hospital and have a few gentle little digs at bureaucracy but maintain the utmost respect for the dedicated individuals who work in the NHS. It would be sacrilege to alter any of the lyrics so the songs remain unchanged except for "Little List" which is usually updated to include current references. Whilst it may be a little unusual for a hospital to have a Lord High Executioner on the staff, not to mention a Wandering Locum Minstrel, we still get a happy ending and that is all that really matters.
Life Begins at Seventy
Romantic Comedy. One easy split set comprising public bar and caf矇. Four elderly but not over the hill characters find that one is never too old to fall in love but issues from that past must be resolved before one can make plans for the future. Dorothy and Betty have known each other since childhood and their constant bickering belies a deep held fondness for one another. Straight-laced Tom and aging rogue Bill have recently become unlikely fiends but what connects them to the women? And why is the waitress constantly trying to eavesdrop on conversations in the caf矇? All will be revealed in this warm and affectionate comedy.
How to Get Five Ukrainians in a Dryer
Ukraine is a wonderful country with beautiful people. Our adventure began in Ukraine in 2009 when we moved to Ukraine due to work. I, along with my German wife, Ingrid, and our four brave children ages twelve, eleven, eight, and six, arrived in Kyiv, Ukraine, with a vocabulary in Russian of the words, da, nyet, and gde tualet (yes, no and where is the toilet)? Fortunately, we had coworkers who helped us get settled in and somewhat oriented. The next year, however, was filled with cultural moments and numerous head-shaking moments where we asked ourselves: Did that really just happen? We did not know what to expect, and we could not have anticipated all of the unique, memorable situations we encountered. While there were certainly stressful encounters in our adventure, they paled in comparison to the friendships we made and still have with Ukrainians. As of this writing, we are still living in Ukraine and have adjusted to the way things are. Often, we try to make culture an issue of right or wrong, but usually, cultures in different countries are just that-different. Ukrainian culture has much to offer with its traditions, food, and amazing hospitality.What you are about to read is some of our experiences in Ukraine. The country has developed since 1991, when Ukraine gained its independence. Despite this development, there is still progress to be made. When we arrived in 2009, there had been one revolution in 2004, and ten years later, there was another revolution. Many of these stories took place in 2009 and much has changed. Fortunately, the future is looking better for Ukraine despite the challenges. Enjoy the stories!
Look Mom I’m a Poet (and So Is My Cat)
For fans of SNL'S DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY and BILLY COLLINS, a new book of humor from New York Times bestseller Andrew Shaffer.In his first full-length poetry collection featuring over five dozen new and selected poems, humorist Andrew Shaffer explores our modern world from Fortnite ("I don't care") to pretentious Instagram poets ("Lord Byron would have drunk wine from your hipster skull").Look Mom I'm a Poet (and So Is My Cat) is playful, hilarious, and accessible to readers who don't know poetry from a hole in the ground.**Holes in the ground are filled with snakes. As every verse jockey worth their meter knows, there are no snakes in poems.
Fifty Shames Gone Grey
Zillionaire BDSM-crazed tycoon Earl Grey and his wife Anna Steal return in this follow-up to Fanny Merkin's Goodreads Choice Awards-nominated parody, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. Earl Grey's wife disappears on their fifth wedding anniversary. He quickly becomes the prime suspect, leaving him with no friends except for his twin sister, Goonie. Can movie star Tyler Perry help him find his wife...or is she just gone, girl? And in the bonus short story "An Earl Grey Christmas," Anna searches a Seattle warehouse for the perfect holiday gift for her husband. What do you get the man who has everything? A BJ, of course. (That's basketball jersey, you pervs.) This deluxe edition of the sequel novella also includes an author Q&A, an essay on the cultural impact of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a gallery of Earl Grey series artwork.
Fifty Shames Gone Grey
Zillionaire BDSM-crazed tycoon Earl Grey and his wife Anna Steal return in this follow-up to Fanny Merkin's Goodreads Choice Awards-nominated parody, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. Earl Grey's wife disappears on their fifth wedding anniversary. He quickly becomes the prime suspect, leaving him with no friends except for his twin sister, Goonie. Can movie star Tyler Perry help him find his wife...or is she just gone, girl? And in the bonus short story "An Earl Grey Christmas," Anna searches a Seattle warehouse for the perfect holiday gift for her husband. What do you get the man who has everything? A BJ, of course. (That's basketball jersey, you pervs.) This deluxe edition of the sequel novella also includes an author Q&A, an essay on the cultural impact of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a gallery of Earl Grey series artwork.
Don’t Laugh Challenge - Easter Edition The Funniest Laugh Out Loud Jokes, One-Liners, Riddles, Brain Teasers, Knock Knock Jokes, Fun Facts, Would You Rather, Trick Questions, Tongue Twisters and Trivi
Fill Your House With Laughs and Giggles and Enjoy Hours of Fun Family Time. If you're looking to have a lively, happy Easter, filled with fun family bonding activities, look no further! This year, put a ban on laptops, phones, and tablets, and reach for this amazing collection of jokes, puzzles, and 'Would You Rather?' questions. Three different types of games full of Easter themed content guarantee you hours of screen-free fun and laughter. Numerous riddles, knock-knock jokes, and tongue twisters will awaken your kid's competitive spirit, develop their logical and cognitive thinking, and boost their emotional intelligence. Find out who tells the best jokes, and who's the top brainiac! In Don't Laugh Challenge - Easter Edition, you will discover: ● Easter themed jokes and one-liners for playing the Don't Laugh Challenge -- find out who can't suppress the giggles, and who's the King or Queen of Laughs● Creative 'Would You Rather?' questions that will get everyone thinking over absurd, hilarious choices ● Imaginative questions that will get your kid talking and sharing their opinions on different subjects -- prepare to discover a whole new side of your child● Tricky tongue twisters to boost your kid's pronunciation skills and expand their vocabulary (beware: some may even twist your own tongue!)● Numerous riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers that will test both knowledge and imagination● Fun and educational trivia questions that will expand your child's knowledge on Easter, animals, nature, planets, and a whole lot more● Plenty of delightful Easter facts that will turn this holiday into your family's favorite time of the year And much more. Entertaining your kids can sometimes be dreadful (yes, we dared to say it!). However, with this collection of jokes and games, even adults will have to fight giggles and roars of laughter!
Don’t Laugh Challenge - Thanksgiving Edition The Funniest Turkey Stuffing Laugh Out Loud Jokes, One Liners, Riddles, Brain Teasers, Knock Knock Jokes, Fun Facts, Would You Rather, Trick Questions, Ton
Ready to gobble up hilarious jokes and riddles that will knock the stuffing out of you? Everyone looks forward to Thanksgiving dinner for the turkey, the stuffing... and the conversations at the dinner table. Instead of arguing about football teams or getting into serious debates, keep the mood light with fun trivia and challenging riddles for the whole family. The best part of Thanksgiving is the chance to be together with the people you care about and share big laughs and good times. There's plenty to learn about Thanksgiving, and these funky facts will have kids and adults alike learning new things about the history and traditions of Turkey Day. If you think you know all there is to know, you ain't seen stuffing yet... When you think you've told all the jokes and laughed all the laughs, keep the energy going with the Tricky Question and Tongue Twister games that will entertain even the grumpiest of grandpas. In Don't Laugh Challenge - Thanksgiving Edition, you will discover: ● Thanksgiving themed jokes and facts that your child will love telling again and again● Fun and entertainment for kids and adults that will have your child learning while they laugh● Brain teasers, games, and riddles that the entire family can play at the dinner table, in the car, or anywhere you can bring a book● Child-appropriate material so even the youngest family members can join in on the hilarity● The opportunity to help your child practice their reading skills, whether they are beginner readers or more advanced● Unique conversation starters that are guaranteed to get the whole table talking And much more. Having a fun and hilarious Thanksgiving shouldn't require a seat at the kids' table, and now it doesn't have to! Share the positivity with everybody this holiday season.
Book Simulator
The Reader's Guide to Not ReadingLearn how to convince your friends that you're an avid reader without reading a single word. Utilize techniques like page turning, eye movement, and note taking. Book Simulator includes interactive exercises that allow you to practice. Impress your friends and master the art of book simulation.Looking for humor, comedy, laughs, jokes, and all other forms of funny? Book Simulator is a humorous take on the conventions of a traditional book. While it pokes fun at various aspects of reading, it also celebrates the spirit of storytelling and encourages the exploration of future stories to come.For extensive coaching in the very serious field of pretend reading, download Book Simulator today.
The Royal Penthouse Suite
I'm thinking. I'm thinking. Give me a second. Ok what was your question again? What's a dating-type "situation" that I have not personally experienced? That's a good question. Let me ask you, by "situation," do you mean like: "Single and lonely?" Absolutely I've been in that boat. How about: "Overloaded, overwhelmed and dumbfounded with too many casual sex options?" Yes. And that time frame was so surreal the whole time it was happening. Or: Have I been completely head over heels in love? You bet! Another Situation: Married in a small chapel? I sure was. Have I participated within every angle of the cheating triangle? That would a triple yes. 1- I've cheated on a girlfriend; 2- Been cheated on by my girlfriend; 3- I've been the "side-guy" to a woman cheating in her relationship. What else? I've been in that early dating stage when I really, really liked someone and she just plain didn't like me back. I've been placed unceremoniously into "the friend zone" which is torture because I still "get to be around" someone I deeply like, and I have to pretend like I don't like them so much.Have I done any online dating? Tons - on all kinds of different sites & apps. From those sites, the dates ranged from beyond excellent to boring as hell, to a full-fledged stalker to everything in-between.Let's see I've: Been catfished. Stood-up. I've hooked up. Picked up. I've dated women I met in bars, clubs, back-yard cookouts, corporate meetings, academic conferences. All of that.I appreciate you asking. Because sometimes I've thought to myself: What the hell was all of that? Why did the universe expose me to such a full spectrum of dating, sexual, and romantic situations? Maybe we're about to find out. And since we're on the subject of "situations," I've had endless discussions with female and male friends about their unique encounters as well. I feel like I have lived through some of their experiences. Truth is, we're all trying to navigate the rough sea waters of relationships. I can only see this from my heterosexual perspective, but I'm guessing that this is the same roller coaster all humans ride when we all seek companionship, regardless of who we pursue in sex or love. Personally, I try to think about what's behind all these dating, sexual, and romance stories. Meaning, how does society condone some of my behavior, while judging other parts of it? There are so many double standards. Also, so many people that judge themselves for their actions, or lack of actions. It all leads to confusion at the least. Heartbreak at the worst. So many people searching for love, or at least to make themselves "feel better about themselves."Maybe, just maybe, my experiences and those of my friends, and all the resulting conversations, were meant to be shared and discussed. This is book 3 of 4 in a series on emotional intelligence. It is a discussion point on precisely how we can be more self-aware of the societal pressures and internal struggles that surround us during our quests for love and affection. And these discussions aren't easy. There are so many harsh realities of egos, long-standing societal-constructs, and childhood traumas buried deep beneath our actions. We can share steamy-sex and funny-dating stories all day, but can we dig hard on how they impact us emotionally?Here's to those venturing into the early stages of dating someone brand new. Here's a toast to those currently at the hotel front desk, getting their room keys for the Suites of Casual Sex Relationships. Raise your glass for those in the established communities of long-term relationships who need more knowledge-of-self than any of us.Cheers.
