Presidential Indiscretions
Over 250 outrageous acts, scandalous shenanigans, and risqu矇 romps in the Oval Office! One president and one vice president died with their mistresses at their side. 32nd president Franklin Roosevelt's mistress had to be whisked away from his deathbed before his wife, Eleanor, arrived, and VP Nelson Rockefeller expired during an intimate moment with his inamorata. When 29th president Warren G. Harding was short of funds during his twice-a-week poker games, he routinely anted up with pieces of White House china. As a joke, 7th president Andrew Jackson sent a mother-and-daughter prostitute team an invitation to the annual presidential Christmas party. With refreshing honesty, 36th president Lyndon Baines Johnson said to the press, "Of course, I may go into a strange bedroom every now and then that I don't want you to know about, but otherwise you can write everything." In a historic DUI, 14th president Franklin Pierce, losing a battle with the bottle, was arrested by Washington police when he drunkenly ran over an old lady--with his horse! And scores of other wild, weird, and downright dizzying deeds of America's presidents in action!
Out, Loud, & Laughing
Gays in the military. Lesbian parents taking their kids to school. Gay and lesbian couples getting married. Everywhere you turn gay and lesbian Americans are in the news and more often than not, at the center of some controversy, some debate about tolerance and civil rights, where anger and hatred rule the day. What's amazing is how gays and lesbians continue to survive without losing their self-respect, their courage, or most surprisingly, their sense of humor. Out, Loud, & Laughing features fifteen of today's funniest gay and lesbian humorists, from stand up comics like Kate Clinton and Frank Maya, to the performance work of the Pomo Afro Homos (Postmodern African-American Homosexuals) and Marga Gomez, to the queer Addison and Steele of the 1990s, Frank DeCaro and David Sedaris. In many ways, gay and lesbian humor is no different from heterosexual comedy, but the material does raise a few eyebrows: the insufferable Jesse Helms, the military ban ("be all you can be ...but in private"), living up to the Lesbian Chic, the trauma of gay male dating rituals, body piercing ("sometimes a fashion statement is a cry for help"), coming out to parents ("Mom, would you please pass the potatoes to a homosexual"), and so much more. By rejecting stereotypes and playing with differences, gay and lesbian humor not only entertains, but educates by disarming ignorancc and fear and the homophobia they engender. To that end, a portion of all proceeds from this book will be donated to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, the organization that, among other projects, initiated and promoted the "red ribbon" campaign for AIDS awareness. Hilarious and socially minded, Out, Loud, & Laughing will leave you laughing out loud and wanting more.
Dishing Hollywood
Dishing Hollywood is a delightful and naughty romp through some of the biggest scandals that have rocked Hollywood - from the earlier part of the twentieth century to the present. Some of the stories appear here for the first time. Some you might think you've heard, but you haven't heard it all! To add a little spice to the story, the author includes a recipe with each "scoop" - favorite dishes, cocktails of choice, even some last meals, including... - Inger Stevens: C'mon, who kills herself while in the middle of snaking her favorite sandwich, a BLT with avocado? Mama Cass: That ham sandwich? Baloney! Robert Blake: His favorite restaurant named a dish after him to capitalize on his troubles. Debbie Reynolds: What did she fix her kids for dinner (on a budget) after that rat fink Eddie Fisher threw her over for Liz Taylor? Bobby Darin: He learned how to make his "Special Spinach" from his mother... or was that his grandmother? Many more stories are inside, each more scandalous and shocking than the next. So quit stallin - pull up a chair and check out the menu. And don't forget to tip the waitress.
Bubba Talks
Among the provocative social phenomena of our time, few have caught the public fancy as profoundly as that quintessentially American species known as Bubba. The conventional notion of Bubba is a Southern redneck who thinks a rented movie and a six-pack are quality entertainment. According to Dan Jenkins, this historical view has been advanced largely by "effete Easterners and West Coast ponytails who claim to like trout pizza and fat novels written by some kind of Ecuadorian." Granted, says Jenkins, there is more than one Bubba from Georgia who has spray-painted his girl's name on an overpass. But there is also more than one Bubba from Chicago who will do his Christmas shopping at Graceland. Bubba, Jenkins concludes, is a state of mind, and he proceeds to let Bubba define himself by speaking on topics ranging from beer to ballet, from haircuts to the homeless.
The History of Lesbian Hair
In The History of Lesbian Hair, Mary Dugger delivers an unrelentingly hilarious view of the modern world. The redoubtable Ms. D. offers an uproarious array of illustrated essays, diagrams, and short takes covering Life ("The Downside to Lesbian Chic," "Build Your Own Lesbian," "So You Want to Be a Straight Girl," and children--"Pets with Thumbs"), Liberty ("Far Right Trading Cards," the ethics of outing), and The Pursuit of Happiness (the birth of the indomitable alter ego Marie DuGuerre, and her ongoing search for love, romance, and a decent vacation).
Paisley Goes with Nothing
The best shoes to dance in are sneakers with no tread left. Old ski lift tickets are not a fashion accessory. Nothing is "fun for the whole family" unless the parents are under ten. There's no such thing as classy luggage as long as you have to carry it. With an irresistible combination of sharp wit, shrewd insight, and great common sense, Paisley Goes with Nothing offers men an invaluable arsenal of survival tactics for thriving in a modern world, including "Two Easy Pieces (Buying a Suit)", "Father Knew Zip (How to Shave)", "A Medium Is the Message--But So Is an Extra Large (What Your Wardrobe Says About You)", "Geeks Bearing Gifts (Buying Presents)", "House by You (Entertaining on Your Turf)", and dozens more that are as useful and enlightening as they are ingeniously, universally funny. An indispensable resource for every man (and a godsend for those in search of a perfect gift), it's society's last hope for keeping the word gentleman from becoming obsolete.
Deng Xiaoping Is a Chain-Smoking Communist Dwarf
Here is Pat Buchanan in his own words: "Someone's values are going to prevail. Why not ours? Whose country is it, anyway? Whose moral code says we may interfere with a man's right to be a practicing bigot, but must respect and protect his right to be a practicing sodomite?"--Right from the Beginning, Pat Buchanan's autobiography "My good friend Bob Dole, basically, is the bellhop of the Business Roundtable."--Campaign appearance, Clearwater, SC, February 28, 1996 "I think God made all people good, but if we had to take a million immigrants in, say, Zulus, next year, or Englishmen, and put them in Virginia, what group would be easier to assimilate and would cause less problems for the people of Virginia?"--This Week with David Brinkley, December 8, 1991 "The homosexuals have declared war upon nature and nature is exacting an awful retribution. I believe that homosexuality, like other vices, is an assault upon the nature of the individual as God made him."--Face the Nation, March 26, 1995 "I will appoint the justices that will overturn that abomination called Roe. v. Wade."--Appearance before Christian Coalition rally, Manchester, NY, February 16, 1996 "Lock and load!"--The Washington Post, February 18, 1996
The Five Books of Van Gross's
Reawaken, you awoken wokesters and anti-leftist xenophobes, and get your new bible. The Five Books of Van Gross's focuses hearkens back to the "Middle Aughts" which is the period that included launching weather crusades, being a "birther" or talking nonsense at Townhall Meetings about "healthcare" (which is really medical care plus a gym membership, glasses and teeth cleaning); here was the mid-Decade of the Zeroes or the zeros, or zorro, the fox so cunning and free, that epoch from 2003-2007, in that Aughts Decade, that Would've, Could've, Should've Oughts Decade, or as some have called it, That Aughtistic Period (or at least an ADD case) demanding an explanation, couched in brain/mind disturbances via satirical essays. This five-volume set containing nearly 500 humor essays opens with They Shoot Lesbians Don't They? covering most of 2004, followed by Deep Tricksters-From the Felt Man to the Veep Man-November 2004 to June 2005, the executive branch hunting related extravaganza Duck, It's Dick.. Not me Dick, the Duck, June 2005- March 2006 and is followed by Van Gross Misconduct February 2006 to August 2006 and finally Van Maniac September 2006- March 2007. The urgency for this historic volume draws from where we were in the lead up to where we are. Has political and cultural satire dwindled over the century's first two decades plus? Hardly. And supporting works (essays and poetry) by Van Gross, MD dating back to the Bill Clinton Style impeachment period and post- Five Books works in pre-print that include the pre-teens to mid teen years constituting the sacred Obama period of carefully manufactured total boredom followed by the culminating late teen epoch of Donald Trump which featured our polarization insanity half decade 2016-2020 highlighted by Impeachments Gone Wild. If the country is not formally institutionalized in padded rooms by 2021, the roaring or throat clearing Jabiden '20's should offer opportunities for millions to hop, skip and jump over to their local bookstore or online outlet for Five Books to buttress the smirk packed absurdity that has become the rule in the dawn of this third millennium since Christ sashayed over hills, dales and water staying vigilant for some upcoming Van Gross, MD masterpiece called the Jabiden Chronicles- Crash and Burn by '29 or Bust, Seems Like Old Times
The Five Books of Van Gross's
Reawaken, you awoken wokesters and anti-leftist xenophobes, and get your new bible. The Five Books of Van Gross's focuses hearkens back to the "Middle Aughts" which is the period that included launching weather crusades, being a "birther" or talking nonsense at Townhall Meetings about "healthcare" (which is really medical care plus a gym membership, glasses and teeth cleaning); here was the mid-Decade of the Zeroes or the zeros, or zorro, the fox so cunning and free, that epoch from 2003-2007, in that Aughts Decade, that Would've, Could've, Should've Oughts Decade, or as some have called it, That Aughtistic Period (or at least an ADD case) demanding an explanation, couched in brain/mind disturbances via satirical essays. This five-volume set containing nearly 500 humor essays opens with They Shoot Lesbians Don't They? covering most of 2004, followed by Deep Tricksters-From the Felt Man to the Veep Man-November 2004 to June 2005, the executive branch hunting related extravaganza Duck, It's Dick.. Not me Dick, the Duck, June 2005- March 2006 and is followed by Van Gross Misconduct February 2006 to August 2006 and finally Van Maniac September 2006- March 2007. The urgency for this historic volume draws from where we were in the lead up to where we are. Has political and cultural satire dwindled over the century's first two decades plus? Hardly. And supporting works (essays and poetry) by Van Gross, MD dating back to the Bill Clinton Style impeachment period and post- Five Books works in pre-print that include the pre-teens to mid teen years constituting the sacred Obama period of carefully manufactured total boredom followed by the culminating late teen epoch of Donald Trump which featured our polarization insanity half decade 2016-2020 highlighted by Impeachments Gone Wild. If the country is not formally institutionalized in padded rooms by 2021, the roaring or throat clearing Jabiden '20's should offer opportunities for millions to hop, skip and jump over to their local bookstore or online outlet for Five Books to buttress the smirk packed absurdity that has become the rule in the dawn of this third millennium since Christ sashayed over hills, dales and water staying vigilant for some upcoming Van Gross, MD masterpiece called the Jabiden Chronicles- Crash and Burn by '29 or Bust, Seems Like Old Times
My Alpaca is a Jerk
My alpaca is jerk! But we do love him.Meet Sir Spits A Lot-a feisty spit happy alpaca. He knows no boundaries on the gurgling and churn of his bile and how it will spurt out onto you. Onto your face, your hair, your arm and anything else that is within spit distance.He doesn't just spit when he is angry. He spits for the spit of it!*Alpacas are prey animals and spit, which is actually bile from the depths of hell that I like to call-their stomach, is their way of warning or discouraging unwanted bullshit. It's a foul smelling, chunky mix of grass and saliva and anything else they might have decided to eat.When alpacas spit it is usually aimed for another alpaca or if they are feeling threatened. But if you own a spit-a-holic like I do...they just spit for the sake of spitting. It's all part of their charm.So don't be discouraged when you see an alpaca. Chances are, they won't be an asshole like mine.
Existential Dogs
From the depths of their existential angst, these profound pooches ask some of the most pertinent questions of their time.'What if I never find out who's a good boy?''Is it better to have eaten something and thrown it up, and then eaten it again, than never to have eaten it at all?''What if the tail I've been chasing all these years is really chasing me?'These are just a few of the philosophical questions plaguing these contemplative canines. Join them in their quest for the truth - can a soft toy cushion the harsh blow of reality? Is there a meaning to life, or is it all just about treats? Is the fleeting happiness that comes from playing with a ball worth the crushing disappointment when it's taken away? You'll never see life the same way again.
Britannia Waives the Rules
Includes all the songs and sketches from three books published previously: - Brexit's a Trick not a Treat?- Brexit's a Musical Trick (not a Treat), including the full Brexit Musical reusing every major tune from "Les Mis矇rables"- I Don't Beg Pardon (I'm Talking B*ll*cks from the Rose Garden) - including the 5-Act Covid Musicaltogether with song lyrics and sketches entitled "Send in the Clowns" - some reflections on the UK in 2021 from Lord Toritori. Mr Curtis Lee-Smugg and others, the Brexit Impact Scale, "Boris Bonka and the Variant Factory", "World King Boris and the Quest for the Sacred Benefits of Brexit" and a few further songs including "I'm B16, B1617","Sitting in what's left of UK", "Twelve Stars on the Flag (UK's Coming Home)" .All profits from the sale of Viewdelta books are sent to charities, currently the Covid appeal from the Disasters Emergency Committee.
My Alpaca is a Jerk
My alpaca is jerk! But we do love him.Meet Sir Spits A Lot-a feisty spit happy alpaca. He knows no boundaries on the gurgling and churn of his bile and how it will spurt out onto you. Onto your face, your hair, your arm and anything else that is within spit distance.He doesn't just spit when he is angry. He spits for the spit of it!*Alpacas are prey animals and spit, which is actually bile from the depths of hell that I like to call-their stomach, is their way of warning or discouraging unwanted bullshit. It's a foul smelling, chunky mix of grass and saliva and anything else they might have decided to eat.When alpacas spit it is usually aimed for another alpaca or if they are feeling threatened. But if you own a spit-a-holic like I do...they just spit for the sake of spitting. It's all part of their charm.So don't be discouraged when you see an alpaca. Chances are, they won't be an asshole like mine.
Ditchmen 2
Teacher Jay Griner, a.k.a. Mr. G, saved his hometown from the Ditchmen invasion. But when the dust settled, or rather mud dried, Jay had disappeared from the townspeople and discovered that his not-so-late wife was responsible for everything. Now together ten months later with only twelve surviving Ditchmen remaining, they must confront the combined forces of the government (EPA), the media, defense contractors, and Silicon Valley. Once again, Jay and Amy's hometown will not be the same.
The Wisdom of Wormwood
The Wisdom of Wormwood is a collection of over 60, short, humorous pieces originally published in Horsley's Over TheWall magazine between 2004 and 2015. Horsley is a Gloucestershire village situated 25 miles north of Bristol.That said, anyone seeking to gain a deeper understand 21st century English village life in these pages is likely to findthemselves disappointed. If the book offers the reader a single, straightforward insight it is that there are few placesso small or insignificant as to be incapable of harbouring a resident know-it-all. Whether pondering the commercial potential of garden slugs; dreaming up ideas for novel websites; cataloguing pet hates;explaining the principles of natural gardening or alerting the world to the dangers of intelligent domestic appliances -no subject is too ambitious or obscure for this rural English 'philosopher'. Though barely known beyond the boundaries of his native village, Wormwood is blessed with an intellect that acknowledgesfew limits and an imagination that ranges unchecked across the entire sphere of human experience.
Young By Name
A collection of the first six years of Gloucestershire author and humourist Debbie Young's columns in the Tetbury Advertiser, an award-winning community magazine published in the heart of the Cotswolds. Topics range from the local perspective on national and international news and developments, including occasional posts on the British royal family, given that HRH the Prince of Wales is a near neighbour, to riffs on everyday events that occur in the daily lives of those living in the English countryside. Each column is short and sweet - around 500 words apiece - which means that this is a great book to dip in and out of, to keep on the bedside table or the smallest room, for whenever you fancy a thought-provoking, gently humorous, brief read.
Who Put the P in Pneumonia?
WHO PUT THE "P" IN PNUEMONIA lives up to its subtitle, A KIDS' BOOK FOR GROWN-UPS. A selection of rhyming verse, from short ditties to story poems, it revisits the joys of childhood while offering inspiration and surprise to us as grown-ups.
I Could Hardly Keep from Laughing
With brand new cartoons by Don Hooper, and a foreword by Jeff Danziger, I Could Hardly Keep from Laughing is a potpourri of art and words documenting how Vermont humor has evolved over 150 years. While re-telling some stories from previous collections, the authors gather together more than a dozen modern humorists in this exuberant, charming, and affectionate history of Vermont humor.
Serving Up Some Funny
Can you handle a good joke? Serving Up Some Funny is one page after another of tasteful adult jokes collected over the past eight years by a veteran waitress in a family owned and operated diner-style restaurant. Did you hear the one about the cowboy with the erection? How about the boss who went to lunch with his secretary on his birthday? Within these pages you will find dirty jokes tasteful enough to tell at the breakfast counter in your favorite diner. Your audience will be rolling down the aisles and howling with laughter as you serve them up another order of purely funny jokes - extra spicy, of course! Author Bio: Lisa DeMarco grew up in a family reputed to be the "chattiest" people from New Jersey all the way down to the eastern coast of Florida. Her love of storytelling takes a break when she is busy working on her next collection of jokes and humorous writings. A waitress for over twenty years, Lisa can be found in her pink high-tops dishing some good eats and funny jokes at Haystax Restaurant. She lives with her husband, Joey, and two daughters, Amanda Jeane and Makenzie Rae, in Tavares, Florida.
Rebellious Laughter
Rebellious Laughter changes the way we think about the ordinary joke. Claiming that humor in America is a primary cultural weapon, Boskin surveys the multitude of joke cycles that have swept the country during the last fifty years. Dumb Blonde jokes. Elephant jokes. Jewish-American Princess jokes. Lightbulb jokes. Readers will enjoy humor from many diverse sources: whites, blacks, women, and Hispanics; conservatives and liberals; public workers and university students; the powerless and power brokers. Boskin argues that jokes provide a cultural barometer of concerns and anxieties, frequently appearing in our day-to-day language long before these issues become grist for stand-up comics.
Pardon My Quirk
In this heartfelt and witty collection of autobiographical anecdotes, Mo Barrett invites readers to keep laughing, learning and thinking through all of life's ups and downs.As a retired Air Force Colonel, Mo reflects on defining moments, both poignant and comical, throughout her personal and professional life, from navigating the military as a gay female pilot to caring for her aging parents. Such moments include: Surviving a purple child-eating dragon at the community pool at the fragile age of fiveInappropriately groping instructors' legs (yes, that's plural) when learning how to stall an airplanePerforming in a female barbershop singing group inadvertently dressed as a Japanese drag queenShocking residents of small Central American villages by being a female pilotScoring for the wrong team (and playing for the other) and learning to not throw like a girl Proving her high school guidance counselor right by failing to get into the Air Force Academy (spoiler alert: eventually she gets in)In Pardon My Quirk, Mo gracefully models how to find humor (and puns) in the face of adversity, uncovering deeper meaning that inspires growth, connection and optimism. Her grounded stories remind readers that we are more than our labels and that we all have something important to contribute in this world-we just have to pull our heads out and keep on smiling.
I think I got away with it!
Written to entertain and amuse, part travelogue, part memoir and always interlaced with humour "I think I got away with it!" is a whimsical sail though my world. My 40+ years of hosting events in UK, and escorting trips (mostly wildlife) around the globe, condensed into 300 pages many with colour photos, and in addition 40 full colour pages. Its a bit like a coffee table book in large paperback format!I'll be telling you stories of some of the fascinating people I touched shoulders with along the way, such as Elton John & Rod Stewart, Prince Edward and Murray Walker. I'll be taking you with me on some of my journeys, exploring the wildlife and people of Africa and India; of The Galapagos Islands, of Mexico's Sea of Cortez and around Northern Thailand by tuk tuk! Yes, I am somewhat eccentric, and make no apology for it!I invite you to treat this book like an old friend. People who know me have read the sample copies from cover to cover. But I invite you to enjoy a chapter or three when you are in the mood, then pick it up again later when you feel in need of a chuckle. Most of all, you mustn't take any of it too seriously - because I didn't!If you would like me to personalise your copy by signing and dedicating a sticky backed bookplate to you, or to someone else as a gift from you, you'll find an email address for me in the book, and I'll happily send you as many as you need.
YaYa's Big Black Purse
Tassie is not afraid to bare her soul, her freakishly long middle toe, or excess baggage carried around in a designer purse in this debut book inspired by her Greek life. Each chapter is a tidy, humorous story. From the 80s to the 2020s - Yaya's Big Black Purse covers four generations of a traditional Greek family, focusing on one member's modern-day struggles as she grows up, grows older, and finally finds her voice-at the same time she's losing her mind. Growing up Greek-American isn't easy, but growing older-marriage, motherhood, dog hair and divorce-is even harder. If you've ever said yes to the dress (then had to fit into it), recorded your child's graduation (with the lens cap on), or struggled to be the perfect wife, mother, and daughter in an imperfect world, you'll want to reach into Yaya's Big Black Purse. Because Yaya knew you have to grow up to appreciate how you grew up. And you're never too old to purse-sue your dreams."Growing up Greek takes a strong constitution. Tassie Kalas knows first-hand. In her debut side-splitting book Yaya's Big Black Purse, we get a hilarious glimpse of how a nice Greek Girl deals with the foibles of life, Including trying to fit in, pleasing over-protective parents, placating a huge extended family, while at the same time, experiencing motherhood, divorce, and empty nest and a new love. Kalas' struggle to break out of the norm yet embrace the culture that made her who she is touches both heart and funny bone. If you're looking for a an uplifting, coming-of-middle-age romp that entertains and draws you in, Kalas' book ticks all the boxes."Allia Zobel Nolan, Bestselling Author of Cat Confessions, Laugh Out Loud, What I Like About You & more.
A Man of Means
A Man of Means is one of the best books of PG Wodehouse and it is a classic of English humour. The books has this passage: "When a seed-merchant of cautious disposition and an eye to the main chance receives from an eminent firm of jam-manufacturers an extremely large order for clover-seed, his emotions are mixed. Joy may be said to predominate, but with the joy comes also uncertainty. Are these people, he asks himself, proposing to set up as farmers of a large scale, or do they merely want the seed to give verisimilitude to their otherwise bald and unconvincing raspberry jam? On the solution of this problem depends the important matter of price, for, obviously, you can charge a fraudulent jam disseminator in a manner which an honest farmer would resent."
Know Your Shit
Did you know that there are over 1,000 ways to use "shit"? That's just in North American English alone! You'll probably learn more than you ever wanted to with Know Your Shit. It dives into the general history and psychology of swearing in general, but takes a particular focus on "shit" in American and Canadian English. Uses of "shit" are explained with cultural and personal examples and context through quotes from movies, shows, celebrities and comedians.A creative non-fiction book for native and non-native speakers alike. Learn to be more persuasive by including the right swear at the right time and place for your gender, be more interesting at cocktail parties with fun historical facts, or enhance your abilities to swear. It's something for everyone!
Funny, weird and wise things kids say
"I have purple neurons and a fox brain". Little kids come out with the weirdest things. They live in a world of creativity, imagination and humour. Sometimes they unexpectedly say dark and disturbing things. Experience the world from a new perspective by journeying into the mind of small children. Experience wonder and wisdom in this book from the little sages. This book is a collection of quotes from children aged two to eight years old. As they grapple with discovering the world, asking the big philosophical questions, playing, asking political questions and imagining. Some of their words are hilarious, profound and disturbing.
Trip of Fools
What could possibly go wrong when a group of na簿ve Americans, from a small Southern town, tour Italy as a group? Tour organizer Carl Minton has his hands full as his forty-four clients negotiate cultural differences, interpret Italian through Southern dialects, and encounter unexpected challenges during a tour that includes Rome, Tuscany, and Venice. To complicate matters, Carl and the handsome tour guide, Francois, appear to fall in love, and steal every opportunity to be alone together, while one of the passengers looks for every opportunity to steal. The mishaps include drunkenness, obstinacy and indolence, pick-pocketing, general forgetfulness, and, of course, shop-lifting. Carl's trials are as exasperating as anything in a Kafka novel, but full of laughs on every page. Francois explains the differences between the two societies and Carl manages, in spite of his trials, to appreciate the magnificent Italian countryside and the experience of love and friendship.
Renegade Ornaments
Two mischievous Christmas ornaments-one silver and the other red-are fed up with hanging in their usual place at the bottom of the tree. High above them perched a beautiful yet smug and frilly angel who sits high atop the tree in all her elaborate glory. When the ornaments decide this year is going to be different, they begin a determined journey up the tree. While on their way, they must navigate other ornaments and branches to fulfill their mission of taking the angel's place at the very top of the Christmas tree. But when they arrive, they learn a valuable lesson that makes this the best Christmas ever. In this charming tale for children, two rebellious ornaments determined to replace the angel atop the Christmas tree learn that sometimes being just where you are is the best gift of all.
None of This is Going According to Plan
For fans of Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and David Sedaris - None of this is Going According to Plan is an assortment of hilarious, true, short stories that have taken place over the course of Brandee Stilwell's life. If you have a few minutes to kill on the subway, need some entertainment before you fall asleep, or unexpected time on the toilet? Look no further. Brandee is here to share her shame with you.Stilwell realized early on some of her most humiliating moments in her life were the ones that resonated yet haunted her for years to come. They defined her. In None of this is Going According to Plan, Stilwell takes her readers on a mortifying and hysterical journey through her childhood in Kansas, her awkward goth teen years, to wearing her scoliosis back brace to parties at the Playboy Mansion, having diarrhea at the Emmy Awards while on a date with a writer from The Simpsons, to offering to dig up her boyfriend's grandmother's grave to get her dentures back into her casket, and sadly, many, many, many more stories along these lines.
Renegade Ornaments
Two mischievous Christmas ornaments-one silver and the other red-are fed up with hanging in their usual place at the bottom of the tree. High above them perched a beautiful yet smug and frilly angel who sits high atop the tree in all her elaborate glory. When the ornaments decide this year is going to be different, they begin a determined journey up the tree. While on their way, they must navigate other ornaments and branches to fulfill their mission of taking the angel's place at the very top of the Christmas tree. But when they arrive, they learn a valuable lesson that makes this the best Christmas ever. In this charming tale for children, two rebellious ornaments determined to replace the angel atop the Christmas tree learn that sometimes being just where you are is the best gift of all.
Trip of Fools
What could possibly go wrong when a group of na簿ve Americans, from a small Southern town, tour Italy as a group? Tour organizer Carl Minton has his hands full as his forty-four clients negotiate cultural differences, interpret Italian through Southern dialects, and encounter unexpected challenges during a tour that includes Rome, Tuscany, and Venice. To complicate matters, Carl and the handsome tour guide, Francois, appear to fall in love, and steal every opportunity to be alone together, while one of the passengers looks for every opportunity to steal. The mishaps include drunkenness, obstinacy and indolence, pick-pocketing, general forgetfulness, and, of course, shop-lifting. Carl's trials are as exasperating as anything in a Kafka novel, but full of laughs on every page. Francois explains the differences between the two societies and Carl manages, in spite of his trials, to appreciate the magnificent Italian countryside and the experience of love and friendship.
More Kirksey
Kirksey lives in Tennessee. Sometimes he has odd visions. Some of them are Orwellian. He thinks a lot. You may think he is crazy.
More Kirksey
Kirksey lives in Tennessee. Sometimes he has odd visions. Some of them are Orwellian. He thinks a lot. You may think he is crazy.
Would You Like a Joke? Book 5
A collection of 'Dad Jokes'. Pizza delivery customers repeatedly said, "You should write a book." This continues the book series. We trust you will enjoy the jokes, and will want to share them with your family and friends.
Informative And Entertaining Trivia
This book is about informative facts and entertaining trivia, with a collection of interesting facts and photographs. Included in this book are some comical jokes, and some of the history photos will bring back memories to the older generation and will be informative to the now generation.
Coffee, Baileys and Corona- A Veteran's Guide To The Pandemic Highway
Author Guillermo Paxton humorously relates his and his wife's experiences during COVID-19, while providing insight on the way that many people living in the South feel about politics and the pandemic. Their pandemic adventure begins while stuck on a remote island in Hawaii, his wife without her medication and their daughter-in-law very pregnant and continues in various casinos and beaches in Mexico. He openly discusses his thoughts and feelings about everything from racism to arguing on FaceBook. Paxton hits on every politically charged topic from masks to the Critical Race Theory.They experience a neighbor's suicide, the loss of their dog, a pandemic funeral. and the Texas Freeze. Paxton pulls no punches while discussing his feelings on the pandemic, alcohol, and ridiculous laws. He makes no apologies while he talks about everything that others have been canceled for."One last thing that scientists and doctors seem to disagree on: farts spreading the virus. Not even flatulence can escape COVID-19. Some studies suggest farts can spread the disease. They also say that covered asses are less likely to spread the virus, so in all fairness, I guess that's a point in favor of masks. And pants."Lastly, Paxton likes to drink. A lot. He needs money for liquor and if for nothing else, you should buy this book to help an old veteran get a drink. Thank you for your support.
Would You Like To Boom Boom In My Room Room?
Once again Candy is back in this follow up sequal to, "Would You Like To 69"!Candy is an empowered, sultry vixen, who knows no boundaries, and all she wants to do is explore her sexuality. In this book, "Would You Like To Boom Boom In My Room Room?", Candy has come up with best, longest pick up line in the history of pickup lines. This story takes place in a bar, and Candy is on the man-hunt for a good time. Will she find a man that is her equal, or will she go home alone? You'll have to purchase my book in order to see the surprise ending."Would You Like To 69?" and "Would You Like To Boom Boom In My Room Room?" are intended to be read by a mature adult audience, or an immature adult audience - whichever you choose to identify as.These books are great for: bachelorette parties; birthday presents; Valentine's Day; Christmas 'white elephant' / gag gifts; or truly for any occassion where laughter is needed.
Would You Like To Boom Boom In My Room Room?
Once again Candy is back in this follow up sequal to, "Would You Like To 69"!Candy is an empowered, sultry vixen, who knows no boundaries, and all she wants to do is explore her sexuality. In this book, "Would You Like To Boom Boom In My Room Room?", Candy has come up with best, longest pick up line in the history of pickup lines. This story takes place in a bar, and Candy is on the man-hunt for a good time. Will she find a man that is her equal, or will she go home alone? You'll have to purchase my book in order to see the surprise ending."Would You Like To 69?" and "Would You Like To Boom Boom In My Room Room?" are intended to be read by a mature adult audience, or an immature adult audience - whichever you choose to identify as.These books are great for: bachelorette parties; birthday presents; Valentine's Day; Christmas 'white elephant' / gag gifts; or truly for any occassion where laughter is needed.
Horizontal Parenting
Need a break . . . now? Horizontal Parenting offers 50 hilarious and effective activities designed to entertain kids while you lie down. Children are exhausting! In the marathon of modern parenting, everyone needs a break--just ten precious minutes to rest your body and tune out the chaos. Enter horizontal parenting, the super-simple parenting hack for everyone, everywhere. With creative and practical advice for overworked parents and caretakers who "just need a minute," this book includes 50 fun, effective, and hilarious games to play with toddlers and children while lying down. Relax and let your little ones release some energy while you catch your breath (and maybe even a few Zs). All you need is a comfortable surface, a few household items, and your child's imagination, and you too can master the sanity-saving art of horizontal parenting. CLASSIC AND NEW GAMES: Featuring fresh twists on classic games alongside funny new activities, Horizontal Parenting is packed with amusing games, including: What's on My ButtHide and Seek-ishDon't Wake the GiantRailroad to RelaxationAnd many more!EASY FUN: These 50 activities to keep your kids engaged and keep you lying down offer hours of entertainment for children and toddlers--no endless supply lists, screens, or batteries needed! AWARD-WINNING CREATORS: Michelle Woo is an award-winning journalist. She was the parenting editor at Lifehacker, and her work has appeared on CNN, Jezebel, Gizmodo, Narratively, and in USA Today. Dasha Tolstikova is an award-winning author and illustrator whose work has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and the New Yorker. Perfect for: Moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and caretakers of kids ages 2+Entertaining kids during long days at homeBaby shower or birthday gift for parents of toddlersMother's Day and Father's Day gift-givingStocking stuffers for new (or seasoned!) parents
The Double-Dealer
This book has been considered important throughout the human history, and so that this work is never forgotten we have made efforts in its preservation by republishing this book in a modern format for present and future generations. This whole book has been reformatted, retyped and designed. These books are not made of scanned copies and hence the text is clear and readable.
I Really Only Did It For The Socks
Brendan Smith writes a weekly column for The Weirs Times weekly newspaper in New Hampshire, where he is also the editor.Since his first column in 1995, Brendan has used his humorous insights to describe his adjustments to living in New Hampshire after moving there from Long Island, New York, in 1985. These early columns were compiled in his first book The Flatlander Chronicles.In I Really Only Did It For The Socks -Stories And Thoughts On Aging, Brendan tackles the latest adjustment in his life that we all face regardless of our location - getting older.After his open-heart surgery and recovery in 2018, Brendan was inspired to write of that experience, along with updating some columns on aging previously published in The Weirs Times as well as some new stories and thoughts in print for the first time."You don't have to be getting older to enjoy this book," said Brendan. "But it doesn't hurt. And when you are over sixty, anything that doesn't hurt is a plus."Brendan lives in Laconia, New Hampshire, with his wife Kimberly and their cat, Dagny.
Please Pass The Torts
Patrick A. Peters ("Pap") and Prescott U. Peters ("Pup"), the intrepid tort lawyers whose zany exploits delighted readers of Torts "R" Us, return with another round of legal shenanigans guaranteed to make you laugh until you cry. Their latest antics include a lawsuit against the Russian government for entrapping a well-known Congressman in a honey trap, attempting to liberate all the chimpanzees in the Bronx Zoo, and representing the unforgettable Lydia Lowlace in lawsuits against unscrupulous strip club owners and video game makers who have taken advantage of her sudden fame. The brothers even concoct a plan to revitalize Connecticut's three poorest cities by turning them into a mecca for nationwide tort lawsuits. Settle into your favorite chair to make sure you don't fall on the floor laughing at the latest exploits of these lovable lawyers who will stop at nothing in their pursuit of publicity, fame, fun and money.
Rosenbaum's Book of Impractical Politicians
This collection of witty and engaging satirical poems about politics and politicians is also a carefully crafted and ingenious literary parody. It will entertain and amuse while it takes on the foibles of characters from Boris Johnson and Keir Starmer to Larry the Cat.
Things People Do That Piss You Off at Work
Have you ever been at work and someone did something that pissed you off? Like being in a meeting and it's always that one person who thinks they are smarter than everyone, but they really aren't, annoying the heck out of everyone with their irrelevant questions? Or what about the person who uses the bathroom but does not wash their hands after they are done! They want to shake everybody's hands, but they didn't care enough to run those hands through soap and water! Nasty! And the beggar, you want a quarter, you want a dollar, you want a cigarette, heck, you even want a freaking bite of my sandwich-the sandwich that I made with my time and energy! The things people do that piss you off at work!
My Mom Did Not Tell Me That
Trials and tribulations of aging are a cross we will all have to bear. You know you are getting old when you have to ask the question, "What is wrong with my...?" (You fill in the blank!) As you read this book, you will laugh while feeling like crying because your mom did not tell you that!
Snippets
Lib-rals, Conservatives, Alt-right, Alt-left, Catholics, Protestants, Jews, and everyone else is fair game for the riotous humor and nose-tweaking opinions of Phil Berto. These snippets of "Plain Old Common Sense" come to his mind every day, and after years of sharing them with only subscribers to his firefighter newsletter, he's finally giving the rest of us a glimpse! From the Presidential Election to why Lib-ral Ladies should ALWAYS wear camo, you'll laugh, growl and never get over this collection of thoughts from a modern philosopher.
The Ancien R矇gime
This book has been considered important throughout the human history, and so that this work is never forgotten we have made efforts in its preservation by republishing this book in a modern format for present and future generations. This whole book has been reformatted, retyped and designed. These books are not made of scanned copies and hence the text is clear and readable.
I Hate Facebook
"I Hate Facebook...And Other Humor Pieces The New Yorker Did Not Find Humorous" is a collection of Shouts & Murmurs-type confections from former "Tonight Show" writer Fred Raker, who was also a staff writer on the ABC-TV late-night comedy show "Fridays," featuring Larry David and Michael Richards. Subjects range from marriage and online travel reviews to ballot propositions and ethics columns. If you're an avid New Yorker reader and have found the recent crop of Shouts & Murmurs to be a tad arid, you'll find these brief but boffo offerings a welcome change.
