I’m Not Talking About You, Of Course...
Winner of the "Indie Book of the Day" award, this short collection of humorous essays explores such quirky topics as annoying pet people ("I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course"), analyzing your inner child ("Irrational Fears") and how to live like the Amish in the aftermath of a hurricane ("A Jolt of Electricity").Included are also stories of just how much damage can be caused by a sneeze ("It All Started with a Loud Sneeze"), why it is so complicated to buy a tube of toothpaste ("Ask Me No Questions"), how not to prepare dinner ("Martha, I Let You Down"), making new friends ("Friends in Low Places"), how a parent's obsessive hobbies can become an inescapable vortex ("Crazy Hobbies"), and why spending the night in a sleep clinic is like being abducted by probing aliens ("Nightmare at the Sleep Clinic").If you don't see yourself in one of these entertaining essays, then I'm not talking about you, of course...
I’m Not Talking About You, Of Course...
Winner of the "Indie Book of the Day" award, this short collection of humorous essays explores such quirky topics as annoying pet people ("I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course"), analyzing your inner child ("Irrational Fears") and how to live like the Amish in the aftermath of a hurricane ("A Jolt of Electricity").Included are also stories of just how much damage can be caused by a sneeze ("It All Started with a Loud Sneeze"), why it is so complicated to buy a tube of toothpaste ("Ask Me No Questions"), how not to prepare dinner ("Martha, I Let You Down"), making new friends ("Friends in Low Places"), how a parent's obsessive hobbies can become an inescapable vortex ("Crazy Hobbies"), and why spending the night in a sleep clinic is like being abducted by probing aliens ("Nightmare at the Sleep Clinic").If you don't see yourself in one of these entertaining essays, then I'm not talking about you, of course...This is the large print edition of I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course..., with a larger font / typeface for easier reading.
I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course...
Winner of the "Indie Book of the Day" award, this short collection of humorous essays explores such quirky topics as annoying pet people ("I'm Not Talking About You, Of Course"), analyzing your inner child ("Irrational Fears") and how to live like the Amish in the aftermath of a hurricane ("A Jolt of Electricity").Included are also stories of just how much damage can be caused by a sneeze ("It All Started with a Loud Sneeze"), why it is so complicated to buy a tube of toothpaste ("Ask Me No Questions"), how not to prepare dinner ("Martha, I Let You Down"), making new friends ("Friends in Low Places"), how a parent's obsessive hobbies can become an inescapable vortex ("Crazy Hobbies"), and why spending the night in a sleep clinic is like being abducted by probing aliens ("Nightmare at the Sleep Clinic").If you don't see yourself in one of these entertaining essays, then I'm not talking about you, of course...
Drabble Harvest #4
Drabble Harvest holds themed contests three times a year, and publishes the best of those contests. In this one the theme was Interplanetary TimeShare. Too many guests spoil the time-share arrangements. And with interplanetary time-share plans, the number of guests can be...well, astronomical. So is the number of problems that can arise, as you are about to find out by turning the pages...
Artisanal Gibberish II
Man vs. Poetry: The struggle continues.Wherein the author continues his struggle with the written word in this new volume of what some might call "poetry" ... if they had low standards. You will find contained within further musings on such random topics as chickens, lumberjacks, parrots, planks, rental lodging, and how to die convincingly on stage.Compiled (or maybe "accreted" is a better word) over the course of several years, Artisanal Gibberish II: Yet More Gibberish is the culmination of six years of University and a lifetime of experiences.CAUTION: We advise against drinking anything hot while reading these poems, to avoid nasal scalding.
The Chronicles of Spivey
"The Chronicles of Spivey," is a compilation of emails, letters, receipts, government documents, and works by the subject Andrew J. Anderson, which diary his transformation into Dr. Flubdubulous and his infamous guerrilla war with Spivey.
Humour, Subjectivity and World Politics
Questions about the ethical and political boundaries of comedy, satire, or irony have inspired widespread anxiety in recent years, as with the 2015 shootings at the offices of Charlie Hebdo in Paris, or the so called 'locker-room banter' that defined Donald Trump's 2016 election campaign. What, then, can a turn to humour offer International Relations? Drawing on literature across International Relations, literary theory, cultural studies and sociology, Alister Wedderburn argues that humour plays an underappreciated role in the making and unmaking of political subjectivities. The book recovers a historical understanding of humour as a way of making a claim to political subjectivity in the face of its denial. This function, Wedderburn argues, is embodied by the ambiguous figure of the parasite, a stock character of Greek comic drama. The book interrogates three separate sites where political actors have used humour 'parasitically' in order to make political claims and demands. In so doing, it not only outlines humour's political potential and limitations, but also demonstrates how everyday practices can draw from, feed into, interrupt, and potentially transform global-political relations. Representing the first monograph-length study on the politics of humour within International Relations, this book makes a timely contribution to debates about the politics of humour, subjectivity and everyday life.
Sunnydale
Sometimes in education, a mind is a terrible thing. When Harris Farmer is appointed assistant principal at Sunnydale, his determination to succeed collides head on with cynicism, corruption, indifferent teachers, deceitful superiors, weapons in school, burglary, teen pregnancy, and a grand jury investigation of Sunnydale. Harris' dark comedic trek, based on the infamous true story which led to the passage of Act 114 in Pennsylvania, exposes the seldom seen side of modern schooling. Harris is haunted by his memories of Sunnydale and no criticism is left behind as he tries to make sense of his experience. This novel will appeal to educators, students, former students and anyone who ever wondered what transpires behind the closed door of the Principal's office.
Cow Fart Apocalypse
A satirical reimagining of what a Leftist-controlled America might look like in the future, with winks and nods to Orwell's 1984.After winning 101% of the vote, the new AOC Administration is immediately tested by something no one in The Party expected.In a future green America, where one political party controls all aspects of everyone's lives and cows no longer exist. Yet a toxic cloud, composed of cow farts is racing toward Washington, DC, threatening the lives of everyone in its path.As a few Patriots attempt to resist The Party's overreach, and CCPN is peddling 24/7 news coverage of one crisis after another, a citizenry no longer familiar with bovine flatulence will have to face its worst fear...Cow Fart Apocalypse
Outpourings
THE BOOK THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SIPS. WINE TASTING FUN!PERFECT AT ANY PARTYA light-hearted book of verse to enhance any tasting and make your evening flow.For friends, family or a group. It is informally informative. In three parts: 1. VINTAGE FUN CORNER.We suggest two or three humorous odes from the above to serve as an aperitif.2. THE A-Z LIST OF GRAPES IN VERSE.The main tasting, establish the grapes in each bottle you are offering. There is an ode to accompany, just about, every grape. If not see below*. Read out the odes with the relevant wines.3. VINTAGE SPILLAGE.Finish the occasion with two or three rhymes from the above which are fun and facts, both interesting and amusing, in verse form.ENHANCE YOUR EVENT FOR LESS THAN THE COST OF A BOTTLE OF WINE.
Blimey, I’m Knackered!
Brit Speak for Yanks! Back in 1887, Oscar Wilde wrote, "We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language." One would think, in a world homogenized by technology and social media, that differences between British English and American English would gradually disappear. Ask any recent traveler, though, and you'll learn that plenty of linguistic idiosyncrasies persist, and new ones emerge all the time. Folks on both sides of the pond may be in closer touch than ever before, but we are still, as George Bernard Shaw purportedly noted, "two nations divided by a common language." Blimey, I'm Knackered! is the perfect companion for anyone desiring to bridge the gap between US and UK English or who simply enjoys the evolution of language and culture. American scholar and longtime UK resident Marshall Hall has organized his insightful definitions and explanations of British idioms, colloquialisms, abbreviations, acronyms, and slang into nineteen entertaining and revealing chapters covering everything from transportation and food to politics, education, and wardrobe. Making the book truly comprehensive are sections on pejoratives and "naughty bits." Hall's often amusing explanations make the book an engaging read for language lovers and travelers alike. Charming pen-and-ink illustrations by Mark Cowie add whimsy and humor to this entertaining, useful, and unique compendium. No American need ever be befuddled again!
Outpourings
THE BOOK THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SIPS. WINE TASTING FUN!PERFECT AT ANY PARTYA light-hearted book of verse to enhance any tasting and make your evening flow.For friends, family or a group. It is informally informative. In three parts: 1. VINTAGE FUN CORNER.We suggest two or three humorous odes from the above to serve as an aperitif.2. THE A-Z LIST OF GRAPES IN VERSE.The main tasting, establish the grapes in each bottle you are offering. There is an ode to accompany, just about, every grape. If not see below*. Read out the odes with the relevant wines.3. VINTAGE SPILLAGE.Finish the occasion with two or three rhymes from the above which are fun and facts, both interesting and amusing, in verse form.ENHANCE YOUR EVENT FOR LESS THAN THE COST OF A BOTTLE OF WINE.
The Book of Andy
To find contentment in the life we're given is a treasure worth searching for.What is the very best for us and our children? So often we think that we will obtain happiness when this or that happens-frequently related to our finances. We compare our life with the snapshots of happy faces posted on social media and feel terrible about our situation-often hopeless. What if we can live our lives, not defined by the trappings of this world, but by discovering contentment in the simple things and in what we are given?In this modern-day Book of Job, Andy sits at the bottom of life's pecking order. Working as a honey-dipper (a septic truck driver) and living in a single-wide trailer in small-town Montana, Andy longs for love and a better life. His only solace is found on the wild side of the river amongst the ponderosa and bull trout.But when Andy is granted all that he desires, the peace he once found in his simple existence, and the serenity of dipping a dry fly into the Blackfoot River evaporates. A family secret that seems like a cruel betrayal emerges as a great blessing in disguise.The Book of Andy is for everyone who feels that life has beat them down...for anyone who prays for a breakthrough. Fans of Walter Mitty, A River Runs Through It, and Forrest Gump will enjoy this humorous family saga of finding faith, love, and contentment.
Don’t Drive Like Richard
Richard is a bad driver. In fact, he drives like a Dick. Whether he is weaving in and out of lanes, doing 60 in a 30 or using his phone to text while on the move, he's a menace and a danger to others on the road! Written in rhyme and really hitting the nail firmly on the head, Don't Drive Like Richard doesn't pull any punches when describing Richard's driving. It would make a great gift for anyone who enjoys a good laugh, or for that special friend whose driving occasionally falls below an acceptable standard.
The Eternal Shtup
Morris Weinstein was afraid when he died, his favorite activity, shtupping, would be lost forever. He was most pleasantly surprised to find HE encouraged it. Anytime, anyplace, with anyone. There was never a shortage of willing women. Morris had an eternal smile on his face. EventuallyHE bellowed. 'MORRIS, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH."G-d was worried about Earth's population explosion. "Where would they all go?" He appointed tousle haired Bobby and voluptuous Marilyn as special love ambassadors and a temporary RIGHT OF RETURN. It worked out better than anyone expected. They both had their special talents. Jack was not pleased.At one point HE acknowledged a few past mistakes. Now HE needed to find a mate for HIS only son. She had been there, waiting, for five hundred years.Everyone UP THERE had a mate, a companion, a partner, expect HIM. HE had his choice of millions, so HE experimented. Again and again and again. Finally HE found the perfect companion. Everyone, glory to HIM, UP THERE, approved. All the while, rejuvenated Morris did what he did best. He kept on shtupping.
Baby & Bump
(This is book 1 of a series. Though it is a stand alone novel, it is best if followed up by book 2, Apples & Oranges, and then book 3, Then & Now. Happy reading!) At thirty years old, caterer Lexie Baump has a lot on her plate. With a business to run, she doesn't have time for any added distractions. But one momentary indiscretion adds a little hiccup to Lexie's plans. She's pregnant. With no relationship prospects.But if Lexie thought fighting morning sickness while running a catering business was hard, enter Dr. Fletcher Haybee. Their connection is instant, and their love of vintage rock tee shirts and Elvis music is enough to bond them for life. There are just two minor problems.One: he's dating her oversexed best friend. Two: he's also her obstetrician.With events to cater, awkward OB appointments to endure, and her ever-growing baby bump making it impossible to close her jeans, Lexie has to find a way to curb her undeniable attraction toward Fletcher and focus on her new role as a working mother. But it certainly isn't easy when its clear Fletcher himself feels the same magnetic pull toward Lexie.Can Lexie leave the gorgeous Fletcher for her best friend to chew up and spit out, or will she cave to her feelings and find love in the stirrups? Life is about to get messy, and we're not just talking about crumbs in the car seat...At thirty years old, caterer Lexie Baump has a lot on her plate. With a business to run, she doesn't have time for any added distractions. But one momentary indiscretion adds a little hiccup to Lexie's plans. She's pregnant. With no relationship prospects.But if Lexie thought fighting morning sickness while running a catering business was hard, enter Dr. Fletcher Haybee. Their connection is instant, and their love of vintage rock tee shirts and Elvis music is enough to bond them for life. There are just two minor problems.One: he's dating her oversexed best friend. Two: he's also her obstetrician.With events to cater, awkward OB appointments to endure, and her ever-growing baby bump making it impossible to close her jeans, Lexie has to find a way to curb her undeniable attraction toward Fletcher and focus on her new role as a working mother. But it certainly isn't easy when its clear Fletcher himself feels the same magnetic pull toward Lexie.Can Lexie leave the gorgeous Fletcher for her best friend to chew up and spit out, or will she cave to her feelings and find love in the stirrups? Life is about to get messy, and we're not just talking about crumbs in the car seat...
Floating Friends at the Aquarium
Six-year-old Milan is on a visit to the Aquarium which is another of her favorite places to see animals. She loves to spend time fascinated by their looks and holds secret conversations with them. She chats with Orca who tells her things no one ever told her before. Then she goes to visit Seal and finds out the secret of what this animal is afraid of. By the time she finds out the secrets of the Aquarium animals, Milan is sure that all animals are precious and have a special role to play in the animals' food chain. She vows to reassure the knowledge she gains and to share with other kids so that they can be a generation that cares about animal life. Read Floating Friends Forever at the Aquarium, learn a few things about sea animals and the lessons they teach us about them and nature. Then enjoy the fun activities inside.
Roman Satire, 12
J. Wight Duff's Roman Satire: Its Outlook on Social Life, first delivered as the Sather Classical Lectures at Berkeley in 1936, offers a sweeping account of satire as Rome's most characteristically social genre. Moving from Greek precedents to the creations of Lucilius, Horace, Juvenal, and others, Duff situates satire within the interplay of literary form, moral critique, and the texture of everyday Roman life. His analysis ranges across invective, epigram, beast fable, Stoic homily, and Menippean prose-verse hybrids, showing how satire functioned as both mirror and corrective to human folly, vice, and civic excess. Far from treating satire as a mere literary ornament, Duff underscores its unique position as Rome's "criticism of life," closer to ordinary speech than to high poetry but all the more powerful for its realism. Satire, he argues, carried the authority of social witness, standing alongside Cicero's letters or Seneca's essays as testimony to Roman manners, anxieties, and ideals. With close readings, generous translation, and a scholar's eye for cultural nuance, Roman Satire remains a classic in classical studies--an essential guide to the moral and social imagination of Rome's satirists and their enduring legacy. This title is part of UC Press's Voices Revived program, which commemorates University of California Press's mission to seek out and cultivate the brightest minds and give them voice, reach, and impact. Drawing on a backlist dating to 1893, Voices Revived makes high-quality, peer-reviewed scholarship accessible once again using print-on-demand technology. This title was originally published in 1936.
Budworth and the Phantom Menace
In 1930's England, Teddy Aston, nephew of Lord Alpington, and his butler, Budworth, lead a life of indolent frivolity. But Teddy yearns for a new challenge; insect hunting in the jungle, perhaps, or gathering information for the Authorities, perhaps, on those with divided loyalties as events on the Continent divide opinion. Would being a spy impress the divine Lucinda? However, even with the help of Budworth's incisive mind, our hero is soon out of his depth.
Shopping For A Man
Are you ready to find a really great guy to share a magnificent, long-term, relationship and have fun dating?In her new book, Lumari, internationally acclaimed intuitive life coach, spiritual teacher and healer, reveals the secret dating tips for women to help you bust the illusions about dating, so you can date a really great guy, find deeper fulfillment in your life and create a lasting, loving, meaningful, relationship without sacrificing yourself."Dating is Shopping" and that puts the power and empowerment in a woman's hands. You are fabulous and it's time you knew it and approached dating knowing your own brilliance. It's not about changing yourself or sacrificing yourself to attract a guy. It's not about what a man wants and then trying to change to be whatever that is. No games, no manipulations, no fear, no judgments about yourself or about those guys.When asked, what inspired her to write this book, Lumari said, "After a break-up and heart break, I asked the Divine how I could find the right guy for me, the message I got was very clear. 'Everything is shopping.'That message changed my life and it made me laugh. I love shopping! I'm an excellent shopper. So I put together all of the tips and training I learned from the master shopper in my family, my mother, added my own skills and perceptions and step by step, I approached dating just like it was shopping. That's how I really found my beloved Peter and knew that he is the love of my life. And that's why, now it's time to share this with all the fabulous women who are ready to have fun shopping and dating."Shopping For A Man is filled with practical tips, evolutionary shopping techniques and visualizations to help a woman shift her perspective, let go of limiting ideas and beliefs she may have picked up along the way, and discover the rich qualities in herself and in the men that she dates. This book keeps on giving. Yes, you are going to grow, be happier and be more of yourself. That's your evolution.Dating is Shopping! Shopping For A Man is a fabulously fun, humorous and powerful guide filled with tools, teachings and techniques that will eliminate the unlikely men and lead you to really great guys. They're out there. This book will help you find and date an appropriately great guy. And guess what, you only need one! It's time to go shopping!
100 Things That Piss Me Off
Do you ever get cranky, cantankerous or crochety about the way others carry on? Join Ross Burns for a purgative dose of whinges, tirades, and politically incorrect rants about other people's gross and mind-numbingly offensive habits. His co-passengers' inconsiderate behaviour on a flight from Darwin to Perth pisses him off in a major way, and before he gets home to Margaret River, he's reached 100 grumpy gripes, from flat-packed furniture to foodie wankers to flies. A lifetime of observing the irritating and annoying things other people do is distilled in this list. He shares it with you in case he's not the only Grump on the planet. Deeply negative and cynical? Hilarious and scathingly perceptive? Or just a load of bollocks? You be the judge.And watch out. This is only Volume 1!
Briars, Brambles, and Barbed Wire
Briars, Brambles, and Barbed Wire is a collection of short stories written in first person- most conveyed with biting sarcasm and self-deprecating humor. The stories are intended to entertain and amuse the reader. With titles like 'Driving Miss Crazy', 'MEGA DONGS', 'Great Cluster Buster of 2020', 'Nice Balls, Betty', and 'Peeing in the Gene Pool' one should not be disappointed to discover stories based on memories and observations from the mind of someone a half bubble off plumb. One will know to not expect the inspired work of a literary genius or plan to see the movie on NETFLIX. Although some more serious and poignant stories are interspersed within the works, most are intended to evoke a laugh or smile. Finding humor in awkward situations and the good among the bad is the common theme. Believing we take ourselves entirely too seriously, the author demonstrates it is acceptable and alright to laugh at our mistake and move along. The creative force behind the stories is an old tired woman living on the family farm. Retired and inspired to improve the farm (her legacy), she began the process of shredding briars and brambles and removing old barbed wire fences. The stories are instigated, formulated, ruminated, and regurgitated...all by a little ol' lady from a little ol' briar patch in Texas. "I postulate we are surrounded by an abundance of pricks; I have merely chosen to surround myself with pricks I can actually run over with a shredder."
Roman Satire, 12
J. Wight Duff's Roman Satire: Its Outlook on Social Life, first delivered as the Sather Classical Lectures at Berkeley in 1936, offers a sweeping account of satire as Rome's most characteristically social genre. Moving from Greek precedents to the creations of Lucilius, Horace, Juvenal, and others, Duff situates satire within the interplay of literary form, moral critique, and the texture of everyday Roman life. His analysis ranges across invective, epigram, beast fable, Stoic homily, and Menippean prose-verse hybrids, showing how satire functioned as both mirror and corrective to human folly, vice, and civic excess. Far from treating satire as a mere literary ornament, Duff underscores its unique position as Rome's "criticism of life," closer to ordinary speech than to high poetry but all the more powerful for its realism. Satire, he argues, carried the authority of social witness, standing alongside Cicero's letters or Seneca's essays as testimony to Roman manners, anxieties, and ideals. With close readings, generous translation, and a scholar's eye for cultural nuance, Roman Satire remains a classic in classical studies--an essential guide to the moral and social imagination of Rome's satirists and their enduring legacy. This title is part of UC Press's Voices Revived program, which commemorates University of California Press's mission to seek out and cultivate the brightest minds and give them voice, reach, and impact. Drawing on a backlist dating to 1893, Voices Revived makes high-quality, peer-reviewed scholarship accessible once again using print-on-demand technology. This title was originally published in 1936.
Tap Tap
This story deals with one of the most thought about subjects and talked about events in the universe. That is the fear of the unknown. No one really understands what it is like to die. Even worse; what if something went wrong and you were not really dead, but everyone thought you were? What if you were pronounced deceased by the medical community? What if you couldn't do anything about it? What if all your loved ones and friends thought you had, as they put it, 'passed'?What if you were so paranoid of dying you created an outline of how you wanted your body managed once you had been pronounced dead? What if you took every precaution to prevent... Yes the unthinkable... Being buried alive? What if you were very much cognizant, but were unable to convey this to anyone? What if you put your thoughts into actions and prepared ahead of time with a type of death-kit? Pat Faros was a relatively healthy widow that had just turned sixty-five and feared she would not live another year. That was how old her mother had been when she passed away. Pat planned to have a special casket made by her brother that would have the bells and whistles that one would need to survive a horrendous mistake.What would Pat's ordeal reveal to her about her family and friends? Were they there for her? What happens when they are put to the test?
The Stuffed Owl Returns
A hilarious new collection of the worst poetry ever composed, by authors both eminent and obscure. Walt Whitman enigmatically wrote, "Did you fear some scrofula out of the unflagging pregnancy?" And Keats actually exclaimed, "I am wound up in deep astonishment!" Extracts both short and extended are by poets from the sixteenth to the twenty-first centuries. Included are an introduction, commentary on each poet, and a daffy index to the bizarre images that have been given to English literature (e.g., Axe, descending, causes condemned men to smile, p. 56; Toad, speckled, a load of spite and hate, p. 37). A worthy and unmissable sequel to the classic and oft-reprinted original, The Stuffed Owl (1930). Illustrated.
One Young Fool in Dorset - LARGE PRINT
★ New York Times bestselling author ★ So how did it all begin? What happened before Victoria met Joe and they embarked on their crazy life in Spain? This light, airy and charming story is the delightful prequel to Victoria Twead's Old Fools series. Her childhood memories are vividly portrayed, leaving the reader chuckling and enjoying a warm sense of comfortable nostalgia. Photographs and recipes complement page after page of tales that burst with the rich vitality we have come to expect from Victoria Twead.The "Old Fools" series: Chickens, Mules and Two Old FoolsTwo Old Fools - Ole! Two Old Fools on a Camel Two Old Fools in Spain Again Two Old Fools in Turmoil Two Old Fools Down UnderOne Young Fool in Dorset (Prequel)One Young Fool in South Africa (Prequel) by Joe and Victoria TweadTwo Old Fools in the Kitchen (cookbook)
The Dictionary of 1980s Slang
STRANGER THAN FICTION!Ideal for any '80s kid, and anyone who wants to discover what made the '80s great!From the author of the USA #1 best-selling (unofficial) Scrabble book "The Dictionary of Two-Letter Words."Packed with over 800 scrupulously-researched entries.Over 500 citations from '80s movies, music and books.Incisive, humorous definitions examining etymology, history, and more.Numerous explanatory illustrations.Bonus! Cut-out-and-play yuppie simulator card game.The 1980s: a decade of uplifting energy, exhilarating confidence, raw power, and uncompromising style. A decade of Armani-wearing, slicked-back dudes and power-dressing, big-haired babes zooming down open highways in sports cars, breakdancers gyrating to the sounds of the boombox, neon-clad skaters and BMXers soaring through the skies in a sparkling, endless Californian heatwave.It was the decade hip hop and new wave went mainstream, home computing planted the seed of the Information Age, and a flood of electrifying movies and music intoxicated the world with glorious visions of the chrome-plated American Dream.And the language! Every '80s movement developed its own vibrant, eloquent, often hilarious slang - and the mass media machine turbocharged it into the popular imagination.This bright, witty dictionary is no dry lexicon - it's a fresh, zesty expedition into the soul of a vigorous age. You can dip in at random, read it cover-to-cover, or surf from one cross-reference to another in a radical journey of linguistic exploration. However you approach this unique book, you will find yourself reliving an era of limitless optimism and opportunity - or discovering it for the first time!THE TOTALLY AWESOME GUIDE TO ROCKIN' '80S LINGONecessarily contains moderately crude language.Proudly published in the USA by Carlile Media.
Thoughts In My Mind
This is a book of eclectic poetry. some humour, some discriptive, obervation as the world passes by. so many thought trip the little grey cells and off go tap tapping away.
The Dictionary of 1980s Slang
STRANGER THAN FICTION!Ideal for any '80s kid, and anyone who wants to discover what made the '80s great!From the author of the USA #1 best-selling (unofficial) Scrabble book "The Dictionary of Two-Letter Words."Packed with over 800 scrupulously-researched entries.Over 500 citations from '80s movies, music and books.Incisive, humorous definitions examining etymology, history, and more.Numerous explanatory illustrations.Bonus! Cut-out-and-play yuppie simulator card game.The 1980s: a decade of uplifting energy, exhilarating confidence, raw power, and uncompromising style. A decade of Armani-wearing, slicked-back dudes and power-dressing, big-haired babes zooming down open highways in sports cars, breakdancers gyrating to the sounds of the boombox, neon-clad skaters and BMXers soaring through the skies in a sparkling, endless Californian heatwave.It was the decade hip hop and new wave went mainstream, home computing planted the seed of the Information Age, and a flood of electrifying movies and music intoxicated the world with glorious visions of the chrome-plated American Dream.And the language! Every '80s movement developed its own vibrant, eloquent, often hilarious slang - and the mass media machine turbocharged it into the popular imagination.This bright, witty dictionary is no dry lexicon - it's a fresh, zesty expedition into the soul of a vigorous age. You can dip in at random, read it cover-to-cover, or surf from one cross-reference to another in a radical journey of linguistic exploration. However you approach this unique book, you will find yourself reliving an era of limitless optimism and opportunity - or discovering it for the first time!THE TOTALLY AWESOME GUIDE TO ROCKIN' '80S LINGONecessarily contains moderately crude language.Proudly published in the USA by Carlile Media.
Dracula
PLEASE READ: "Dracula: But the Count Runs Half Marathons" is an affront to classic literature and everyone who loves it. By adding a single sentence to every chapter of Bram Stoker's original novel, Dick Cody Heese fleshes out Count Dracula's backstory so that he runs moderate distances as a hobby. These changes have no effect on the plot, nor do they add any value to the reader's experience. However, they do imply that Count Dracula participates in various half marathons across Transylvania and Eastern Europe. Hard-working, talented authors everywhere are assuredly in agony over the publishing of this novel.Dick Cody Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis," "Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God," and "The Communist Manifesto: But Tony Hawk Can Keep His Stuff."
From Where I Sit (things look funny)
I subscribe to a lot of magazines - some are free, some are over-priced. Some are print... some are e-magazines... some are both. And they range all over the place in topic, size, and shape - association publications, professional journals, news weeklies, travel monthlies, computer magazines, sports magazines, product guides, and so SO many others. Just thinking about it makes me realize that I've got to cut back. I read several of them - one cover-to-cover. (Spoiler alert - that's the network.) I skim through most of them. And there are some I never open at all. (I generally discard those when the next one comes and make a mental note to cancel my subscription.) One page I skip in almost all of them (but not in the network and you'll see why) is the Editor's Page or the Publisher's Note - or whatever the same page might be called in another publication. For the most part, in letter form, it's a page like this where the editor (or publisher) is telling you what's in that particular issue, why the staff is so excited about it, and why you'll want to read it. Think back to elementary school, where (among other things, of course) you first learned to write book reports. If you're like almost everyone, you stretched out the sentences to make them longer because you didn't have that much to say, you had to fill up an assigned amount of space, and the book wasn't all that good anyway - but you didn't want to say that because you might be wrong. You'd start the report with something like, "This is a book report about a book that I read called The Boy Who Dug a Hole to the Other Side of the World by P. Douglas McMaster. I am going to tell you about the story of The Boy Who Dug a Hole to the Other Side of the World and what I like about it. It has 118 pages. In chapter one of The Boy Who Dug a Hole to the Other Side of the World, we learn the name of the boy who is the star of the story - Henry Pecker. Etc. Etc. And your teacher said to you (and all of the other book reviewers), "Don't tell the reader what you are going to write about. Just do it." (I wonder if that's where Nike got the idea?) So, I decided to devote the Editor's Page of the network to humor. You can find out what's in the magazine by looking at the Contents page (which we call the Blueprint). I don't want to waste that space telling you something which (if you're like me) you won't read anyway. Fans of the network know that there's a lot of great humor in the magazine - the Diversions and Vertical Lines are often laugh-out-loud funny. This book is to introduce (or reintroduce) you to the type of humor that you can find/expect in the network magazine and the two compilations of humorous excerpts from it from over the last decade. You can access the magazine (and many years of archived issues) at www.crestnetwork.com . Information on where/how you can purchase The Best of Diversions and Vertical Lines is on the inside back cover.
George Washington Never Slept Here
We need a respite from a messy world. George Washington Didn't Sleep Here, is a fun memoir full of smiles and guffaws. The reader is taken through the mistakes, miseries, and missteps made during six years of college and graduate school. Set mostly outside the classroom, it's week one of adjustment, professors, dormitories, fraternities and girls.A cameo of the author at seventeen, this book is a pinata of stories for the reader who in turn laughs in the revelry of times gone by. In sum, George Washington Didn't Sleep Here says, "Try me. You'll like me."
Funtastic! 507 Fantastic Fun Facts
7% of American adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows! You don't believe me? Then keep reading...This fact sounds too absurd to be true, right? But according to the Innovation Center of U.S. Dairy, 16.4 million people don't know that chocolate milk is milk, cocoa and sugar.Fun facts like this one are perfect conversation starters. Nobody likes to be in an awkward moment of silence where everyone is just sitting at the table and doesn't know what to talk about.That's exactly when your trivia knowledge comes to play. Impress your friends with some insane facts, and you will find yourself in a heavy discussion within a few seconds.Not only will you feel like the smartest person in the room, but also will everyone be excited to enjoy your company as you always know something interesting to talk about.No worries, Funtastic! contains enough conversation material about different areas of our life (animals, space, language, earth, nature, humans, money, food, records, sports, laws...) to chat for hours and hours.In this book, you'll discover: what a waitress did to get tipped millions of dollarswhy you don't want to be a koalathe unbelievable reason why the longest cricket match ever ended after 12 dayshow you can look at the blood cells in your own body while lying in bedwhy you don't want to kiss publicly in Swedenwhat's illegal to wear committing a crime in New Jerseywhy this book is the perfect gift for any person of any age (who's able to read)... and much moreA day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie ChaplinStudies have shown that having fun reduces stress, boosts your energy, improves your memory, helps for sounder sleep and creates other positive patterns. This book is for everyone who wants a more enjoyable life, even if they normally don't like reading.So if you want to have a funnier life instantly, then scroll up and click the "Buy" button now!
Globetrots
"Call it globetrots, this malady that makes me dash to the toilet at the reminisce of the scowling octogenarian who, on a beautiful day in Portofino, Italy, blames me, his travel agent, for failing to tell him to pack sun shorts. Or the cranky woman in the back of the bus who yells to her learned guide in Xian, China, 'How much longer before we get to the Teriyaki [Terra Cotta] soldiers?' Globetrots strikes when Americans whine about how lasagna in Italy is not as good as that at the Olive Garden Restaurant, or when they gripe about the lack of griddle cakes and smoky links on the breakfast menu in Rangoon." Such is the definition of globetrots in Stephen Kanold's witty memoir recounting his role as a tour operator and group escort to all seven continents. Steve's reflections on what makes travel fulfilling and at other times catastrophic is both thought-provoking and at times hilarious. Above all, he urges people to pack their bags and experience the fast-changing world while they can. "There are only two times in life," Kanold writes, "now and too late. You'll never have this time again. Carpe Diem-Seize the Day!"About the Author-Stephen KanoldCEO and President Adult Customized Tours, Inc. A third generation Californian and graduate of the University of Redlands, Steve-- with a degree in education--taught high school German and college prep courses at Bloomington High School in the 1970's. His first customized tours were to Europe with his German students ("Why learn the language if you can't use it?"). Steve's reputation for designing interesting, educational itineraries grew in the southland. The Palm Springs Adult School asked that he create a "global classroom," one that would offer senior citizens escorted international trips and would feature informative pre-departure newsletters, documentation meetings, etc. His vacation programs were an instant hit, and Adult Customized Tours was born. Having been to all seven continents and to well over 100 countries, Steve feels fortunate to have journeyed around the world with thousands of wonderful-and sometimes not so wonderful--travelers in tow. With a wink and smile, Kanold says, "Whoever advised, 'Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey' has never been to Mongolia."
Vida de un Majadero
Este libro ha sido calificado por el autor como de ficci籀n autobiogr獺fica, ya que ni siquiera 矇l mismo tiene plena conciencia de cu獺les de los hechos que relata se basan en acontecimientos reales y cu獺les no. El texto presenta a trav矇s de diferentes relatos, la manera en la que el autor ha sido testigo o part穩cipe de diversos acontecimientos de la historia de Colombia. De modo que en el libro se entrecruzan temas, como el sexo, el amor, la belleza, las formas del asombro, la cordillera, el feminismo, el patriarcado, la homofobia, la vejez, la amistad, el amor, dios y el ate穩smo, el miedo a la muerte, la cobard穩a, la libertad, la colonialidad, la violencia, la parranda, el genocidio, el estado, el capitalismo, el arte, la literatura, la m繳sica, el cine, la filosof穩a y el lenguaje.El libro se puede leer en orden o en desorden, o simplemente se puede no leer, de modo que es un poco como la vida, y por eso tiene pasajes llenos de humor, sobre todo de mal humor, y pasajes llenos de reflexi籀n. A veces es ligero y a veces es profundo. A veces es divertido, a veces es emocionante y a veces es triste, tiene apartes afor穩sticos y ensay穩sticos, pero en general es una profunda reflexi籀n acerca de lo que m獺s abunda en nuestro mundo: los pendejos.
Witty, Clever One Liners For All Occasions
Witty, Quirky, Clever. - Very rarely does an Australian book come along that is so universally useful and acclaimed. In this volume are 23 wonderful categories from The Nonsense of Politics to Romance vs Sex and more than 4,000 quips to cover every occasion. No allegiance is paid to political correctness, religious sacred cows, political sensitivities or having to avoid adult humour. Enjoy many laughs. Reflect on life. Brighten a speech. Entertain friends. As a special gift. Never again be caught short for a witty addition to conversation.Browse and enjoy!
Doodle 4 Garden Earth
''Doodle with Intent' is a non-sequential picture book series for adults (NOT X-rated). Nonsensical picture books with whimsical pen and brush ink doodle illustrations, each with a short cryptic tale about the quirky good in life. This fun series remind us of the random oddities and complexities at play in nature and our lives, this one is an illustrated exploration of the magick amongst our Garden earth. These fun doodles remind us of the random oddities and complexities at play in nature and our lives and explore the fun in the silly side of life.Also available in 8 inch deluxe Hard copy version of Doodle with intent, 106 illustrated pages of pen and ink, and brush and ink doodles
Anonymouse in Lockdown
This delightful little book was conceived in the first UK lockdown and designed to take a rise out of the situation and entertain people who found themselves isolated by the pandemic. It comprises slightly off beat captioned mice sketches and both serious and not so serious verse created to provide an enjoyable read.
Grappa Thoughts
No Sunday school teacher, Kool-Aid drinker or politician is ever going to be ok with any of the contents of this book, oh well. So many people have become sick and tired of how soft and fluffy the world has become. Where anything and everything is either offensive or dangerous, regardless if it was intended to be or not. A world where bubble wrap and participation ribbons are now more valued than honesty and hard work. Yet, few will ever admit to this out loud due to a fear of reprisal at the hands of a right fighter or political correctness warriors, but that's not here. A liquor infused, open, honest, direct personal insights about the strange world we have now made, that only gets more and more interesting and unique as each additional shot is consumed. If words + booze + free thinking scare you, you're likely going to be wetting the bed tonight. Sleep with a nightlight on and a butter knife under your pillow and you'll be alright, but if you don't just drink the lukewarm water from the fishbowl of this Band-Aid, beige world, you may find some truth, humour and a lot of questions both raised and maybe even answered within here. www.GrappaThoughts.com
The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, Part 7
A brisk odyssey of boyhood, mischief, and moral discovery, The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, Part 7 invites readers to travel the Mississippi River frontier through Mark Twain's own razor-edged wit and warm humanity. This instalment blends classic adventure fiction with sharp satire and timeless lessons on independence, friendship, and growing up. Our restored edition makes Tom's jaunty schemes feel immediate yet humane, offering both a thrilling juvenile adventure literature experience and a doorway into nineteenth-century America. It rewards casual readers seeking lively storytelling and collectors who cherish literary artefacts that resist time. Historically significant, the book captures Twain's distinctive voice and the era's social textures, while inviting modern readers to reflect on courage, loyalty, and the pull of home. It sits comfortably beside other American adventure classics, and its themes resonate in classrooms and family reading alike, making it ideal for teacher classroom reading or a thoughtful family read aloud. Out of print for decades and now republished by Alpha Editions, this edition is restored for today's and future generations. More than a reprint, it is a collector's item and a cultural treasure that honours Tom Sawyer's enduring appeal for young readers and curious adults alike, enriching the young readers collection with a genuine piece of American literary heritage.
Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn, Chapters 26 To 30 (Part 6)
Hook: A river journey that brackets childhood and conscience, now restored for modern readers and collectors alike. In Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn, Chapters 26 to 30 (Part 6), Mark Twain's pen probes the uneasy crossroads of freedom, authority, and moral choice. This edition foregrounds the book's enduring power as a satirical adventure fiction set against a vivid antebellum american backdrop and the Mississippi river's shifting currents. Readers encounter a coming-of-age voyage that blends regionalist textures, sharp social observation, and a clear, humane voice that questions power, loyalty, and conscience without losing its storytelling momentum. The book's value lies in its masterful melding of form and theme: the road-novel energy of a boy's improvised ethics, the seedbed of american realism that shaped later golden age american writers, and a sustained inquiry into how civilisation and personal freedom clash on every bend of the river. It's a work that rewards both casual readers and classic-literature collectors with its punchy humour, astute social critique, and timeless questions about growing up and making hard choices. This edition recognises the text's historical significance, while restoring clarity, nuance, and texture for today's classrooms, homeschool reading guides, and study groups. Out of print for decades and now republished by Alpha Editions, this is more than a reprint - a collector's item and a cultural treasure, preserved for today's and future generations.
Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn, Chapters 36 To The Last (Part 8)
A burst of mischief and moral scrutiny, Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn-Chapters 36 To The Last (Part 8) invites you to travel the Mississippi with wit and conscience in hand. This is more than a companion to a beloved American classic. It is a vividly restored edition that foregrounds Huck's bildungsroman journey-from childhood to adulthood-through satire, daring escape, and cunning moral reflection. The book's form blends adventure with social satire, mapping a boy's evolving sense of morality and freedom as he encounters the complexities of race, society, and choice on riverbound travels. For casual readers, it delivers compelling action and unforgettable voices; for classic literature collectors, it offers a carefully curated reintroduction to a cornerstone of nineteenth century America. Mark Twain's masterwork stands as both entertainment and historical beacon, articulating the tensions of its era while probing enduring questions about identity, loyalty, and justice. Its significance stretches from classroom discussions to broader cultural conversations, making it essential for curriculum for schools and readers seeking authenticConnections to Mark Twain classics and the era's companions. Out of print for decades and now republished by Alpha Editions, this edition is restored for today's and future generations. It is more than a reprint-it's a collector's item and a cultural treasure, inviting renewed engagement with a landmark in American letters, a vivid portrait of the Mississippi river setting, and the persistent pull of morality and freedom.
The Bequest; Ship’S Company, Part 6
A wittily woven voyage into the heart of Victorian seafaring, The Bequest invites you to sail through a treasure chest of nautical fiction. This instalment in W. W. Jacobs's Ship's Company blends humour with hard-won wisdom from the docks and decks of British port towns. In a sea stories anthology that savoury readers of nautical humour will prize, the tales illuminate sailors' daily life, nautical mishaps and tricks, and enduring maritime superstition themes, all set against a recognisable Victorian seaside milieu. The result is part adventure, part social snapshot, and wholly satisfying for classic literature fans. Historically, Jacobs stands as a master of temperament and tone, and The Bequest is a link to a bygone era of seaside publishing that shaped British sea stories and humorous maritime writing. Restored for today's and future generations, this edition preserves the colour of language, the warmth of camaraderie, and the weathered charm of yesteryear while inviting new readers to discover a canon of enduring appeal. For casual readers and collectors alike, this is more than a reprint - it is a collector's item and a cultural treasure. Out of print for decades and now republished by Alpha Editions, The Bequest offers a fresh gateway to nautical fiction, a vivid glimpse of Victorian Britain, and a thoughtfully curated companion for readers who relish maritime superstition, sailors' daily life, and the gentle humour of Jacobs's world.
The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, Part 4
A crisp invitation to a literary friend, a doorway to years of reading that feel both new and timeless. The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, Part 4, returns readers to a quintessential slice of classic american literature, where juvenile adventure fiction meets sharp observations of childhood mischief and small town morality. Through Tom's headstrong energy and Twain's sly, affectionate voice, the tale navigates coming of age with humour, heart, and a memory you'll want in your own library reading list. This edition celebrates the novel as public domain literature reimagined for today's readers, honouring the rhythms of nineteenth century america while speaking in a contemporary, accessible key. It's more than a reprint-it's a bridge between generations, a companion read alongside the adventures of Huck Finn and other Twain titles. Alpha Editions restores this cherished work for today's audiences and for future generations of students, families, and collectors. Out of print for decades, it now shines with careful editorial care that preserves the texture of Twain's twinkling prose, making the Mississippi river town atmosphere vivid once more. Whether you are seeking a vivid school text, a thoughtful keeping of a Victorian-era voice in a modern world, or a collector's item that honours American literary heritage, this edition earns its place on every shelf. A cultural treasure that invites both new readers and devoted fans to revisit a beloved classic.
The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, Part 8
A spark of mischief, a march toward maturity, and a river of unforgettable characters-the adventures continue in The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, Part 8. This edition preserves the core joys of a classic adventure novel while spotlighting the enduring pull of a juvenile fiction series that helped shape american literature classics. Set along nineteenth century Mississippi, the tale threads childhood mischief and growth with themes of friendship and loyalty, and moral development struggles that still feel immediate to today's readers. It speaks to casual readers and classic-literature collectors alike, offering a vivid window into a child's-eye world and the culture that formed it. For middle grade readers and classrooms, the book serves as a doorway to discussion and discovery, a companion through which to explore character, courage, and consequence. The work holds notable literary and historical significance as part of mark twain classics and a cornerstone of american regional literature. It is a thoughtful companion to Huck Finn, rich with social insight and storytelling artistry that invites both independent reading and teacher classroom anthology use. Out of print for decades and now republished by Alpha Editions, this edition is restored for today's and future generations. More than a reprint - it is a collector's item and a cultural treasure that honours Twain's enduring, resonant voice.
The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer, Part 6
A deft, enduring tale of mischief, courage and memory set on the Mississippi. Tom Sawyer's spirited adventures leap from the page with a modern rhythm, inviting every reader to roam a river town through boyhood eyes. This edition offers more than a reprint: it preserves the essence of a juvenile adventure tale and a coming of age story that has shaped nineteenth century america. The work's timeless humour, vivid boyhood friendships, and the sly moral questions at play resonate whether you're collecting mark twain classics, assembling a complete adventures collection, or adding a young readers edition to a school reading list. The mississippi river setting and the lively, recognisable backdrop of river life deepen the novel's appeal for both casual readers and serious literary enthusiasts, while its guidance on moral choices remains eternally relevant. Alpha Editions restores this out of print work for today's and future generations, celebrating its enduring influence on american literature. It is a tangible cultural treasure: a beautifully crafted edition that honors the book's illustrated heritage and places it alongside the great narratives of classic american literature. For both families and collectors, this is not merely a book; it is a doorway into a beloved era that continues to inspire and teach.
Anonymouse in Lockdown
This delightful little book was conceived in the first UK lockdown and designed to take a rise out of the situation and entertain people who found themselves isolated by the pandemic. It comprises slightly off beat captioned mice sketches and both serious and not so serious verse created to provide an enjoyable read.
