In the evening I am Aurora
Easy-going, funny, deeply honest, captivating and somewhat scandalous.Jenny treasures a deep dark secret. During the day she works in a government agency and in the evening she puts on her black patent over-knee boots. In this autobiographical book, Jenny's career as a Mistress is described as she is enlightened about sadomaso. However, the focus of her work is on the sessions with her charming and very extravagant guests. The Author tells of a crazy night in Athens; a Psychiatrist she would have liked to have admitted herself with; erotic woollen blankets and of what happened when her employer found out about all this. In addition to the enlightenment of curious terms from this taboo area, the reader is introduced to the many facets of S&M, which will certainly leave everyone curious.
Raising Godly Children In An Ungodly World
From the fingers of an expirienced and seasoned Children's Teacher, this book is a very powerful parenting tool that every parent or potential parent needs in their shelf. The book details most of the challenges young people that seek to disturb their spiritual life. Secular music, drugs, videos games, Mental health issues etc. And it offers solutions based on the word of God on how parents can remain standing even in the face of adversity.
Ammo Grrrll Reloads
The best political weapon is ridicule, and no one exposes the left's buffoonery and pretensions was PowerLine columnist Susan Vass has been doing once a week in the scathing, pointed and hilarious columns she writes under her pseudonym "Ammo Grrrll." (Read Volume One to find out where the name comes from.)Travel back in time with us now, to a bygone era when votes were not counted with butcher paper covering the windows; when Coke didn't make employees go to seminars on "How To Be Less White", and when the President of the United States was able to negotiate a flight of stairs. Through it all, Ammo Grrrll manages to use humor to skewer the elites - elected and self-appointed -- and to give hope to the victims of their venom. When she's fired all her ammo (metaphorical ammo, to be sure, because only leftists are allowed to threaten to behead, stab or blow up people they disagree with), at such a target-rich environment as fake racist attacks, fake sexual hijinks in college by Supreme Court nominees, and fake "Republicans" who hated Trump, what does she do? Ammo Grrrll Reloads. Of course. Welcome to Book 6!
Sh*tty Jobs
In 2009, a recent college graduate entered the workforce filled with excitement and optimism. He found neither in the aftermath of the 2008 recession. He couldn't help but notice the similarities with the 2020 pandemic. LaLoggia offers an unfiltered account of his early twenties trying to find a job during a terrible economy while torn between being fulfilled or homeless. He offers guidelines for people on how to endure a recession, laugh their way through it, and come out on the other side with a glimmer of hope. He shares his experience working largely for "fake companies" with misleading job descriptions that in no way fully explain the role or accurately depict what the company truly does. Shitty Jobs: The Guide to Surviving a Recession is a true story of a shameless young man who will say or do anything to any employer to not move back in with his parents (which he eventually does). I don't think this book will help anyone.-Dad I promise I'll read it.-Mom
Funny Side Up
The oldest son of comedian and game show host Jan Murray, Warren Murray has taken his father's sage advice to always find the funnny side of life. Funny Side Up is filled with true stories and personal recollections of growing up in the world of show business. You'll laugh out loud at the behind-the-scenes antics of the comedy legends who Warren was lucky enough to call his "uncles," including Milton Berle, Buddy Hackett, Jerry Lewis, Sid Caesar, Henny Youngman, Jack Carter, Don Rickles and so many others. As a TV comedy writer/producer, and later as a network executive at NBC, Warren's tales from the golden age of TV provide a rarely-seen - and hilarious - look at the stars and showrunners from your favorite 70s and 80s sitcoms and game shows. Also an award-winning educator, Warren gets an "A" for his brilliantly amusing and clever teaching methods that always kept his students on their toes. You'll wish you had Mr. Murray as your middle school history teacher! Warren also explores the funny side of everyday life, from growing up in 1950s Brooklyn with soon-to-be-famous high school classmates to marriage, golf, religion, sex and old age. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll forget all about the roast in the oven!
Lockdown Life
Lockdown Life is a humorous and reflective snapshot of the unique period called 'Lockdown'. 2020 brought us the great global event that resulted in seven billion people on the planet being sent to the confines of their homes amidst the pandemic, some to homes padded with toilet paper and others with cupboards full of dry pasta! Split into three parts, this book is designed to help you spot 'Lockdown Personalities', explore 'Lockdown Activities' and reflect on 'Lockdown Lessons'. Did you know that the Lockdown Roadman's hobby of chatting up women outside Iceland was classed as 'essential work'? Did you catch that glass of brandy your child's teacher was drinking off-screen during the English lesson on Shakespeare?Lockdown made introverts (Intros) scream with joy and extroverts (Extros) quake in their boots as they were forced out of the pubs and clubs. It made parents appreciate teachers and the public appreciate the NHS, and some tapped into gifts and talents they didn't even know they had. But what can we gain from this time? Can humanity learn and grow? Dive in and join us as we explore love, laughter and freedom amongst one of the most challenging times of humanity. About the AuthorDaniella Blechner is an award-winning entrepreneur, founder of Conscious Dreams Publishing, author and Book Journey Mentor who lives in south London. Over the last four years, she has published more than 80 books, mentored 190 authors and aspiring authors, assisting them in transforming their powerful stories and messages into successful books.Dubbed the 'class clown' in her former years, Daniella has always sought to bring joy and humour to other's lives and believes laughter is the best medicine in times of challenge.Achievements include surviving lockdown alone, gaining 400+ comments on a post about what to do with cabbage during lockdown, completing the Don't Rush Challenge, living in Tanzania as a voluntary teacher whilst getting away with speaking broken Swahili and climbing to the top of Mt Kilimanjaro!Daniella is also an English teacher with 11 year's teaching experience. Her conscious dream is that we get to create and live in a world that is founded on equality, love and unity for all .Daniella offers free 30-minute consultations for anyone interested in writing a book, as she believes that everyone has a story inside, and the power is using it to positively impact another.www.consciousdreamspublishing.com daniella@consciousdreamspublishing.com www.consciousdreamspublishing.wordpress.com
Why Not Broccoli?
Welcome to the second book in the BnB Biddies series.In book one, Better Than Butter, our five main characters attended a high school reunion and found that even though many years had passed, their friendship was as strong as ever. All five were each BnB owners-one had become widowed, two had divorced, one was married, and the last remained single. Through their round-robin letters, we followed their lives. At a BnB convention, a newspaper leads to their discovery of the true identity and reason for strange acts of a guest three had encountered.In book two, Why Not Broccoli?, we follow the ladies into courtship, adventures, and the discovery of why cucumbers and pickles are becoming difficult to obtain. One remains married, two now have beaus, and two remain single and unattached.Our characters are Lil, Ditty (Gregory, her man friend), Milly, Izzy (Jack, her man friend), and Babs (Gerald, her husband).
Parenting When Nearing Dotage
Have you ever wondered what ever happened to all those priests who resigned in 1968? Some have. Well now, search no more for an answer to that and other pressing questions. At a time when American women were having their last child at age 29, the author and his wife were having their first at 35. Having children when your peers are having grandchildren is worthy of our consideration and is one of several subjects of this book.
Never Drive A Hatchback To Austria (And Other Valuable Life Lessons)
If being a grown-up were as simple as holding down a job, buying a reliable car, finding your dream home and living happily ever after, there'd be no need for this true story. But our mid-thirties author's unorthodox approach and complete failure to accept the world as defined by adults was never going to make it quite so straightforward - especially when Brexit threw a spanner in the works. "If you liked the works of Bill Bryson, Pete McCarthy or Tony Hawks, you will enjoy this." - Review by Ian S Set against the backdrop of his ever-swelling grumpiness and the growing realization that he might never actually become a millionaire, this book follows him and his trusty hatchback as they travel by road from England to Vienna, seizing the chance to live in Europe before it got closed to Brits forever. It's a journey that takes him to Cyprus and Venice, Slovenia and Surrey, Belgium and Bonn."A hybrid of Victor Meldrew and Tony Hancock, with attitude!" - Direct Reader Comment
Fantasy, Fairies, Franiards
The verses beckon through the tavern's door, Enjoy its firelit warmth and grab an ale;The poems tell of heroes, blood and gore, They offer dragon's hoard and banshee's wail;Behold the creeping dread that stalks the gloom!You bitter cynics, come and prep your smirks!But gentler readers, please don't flee the room, For other poems offer humour's quirks;They speak of magic hijinks and kebabs, And sirens' schemes that make the pirates spew;One poem shows a golem braiding carbs;A healing potion gets a bad review!So heed this poem's cunning sonnet hook, And venture through the verses; read this book!
The State of Grace . . . and Other Calamities
Gaudere res seria est. Loosely translated from Latin in our Abridged Too Far Dictionary, that means: Having fun is serious business. Please note that it does not translate from old German to mean: "I've got sauerkraut in my lederhosen." Actually, it's the motto of the Mystical Township of Grace, Washington, a place unlike any other town in America. Perhaps it might even be the off-center of the known universe. What follows is a compilation of columns culled from the Greater Grace Gazette's disgustingly dusty archives that will provide insight into the comings and goings and doings of the town's sometimes zany and occasionally self-important residents and interlopers. It is hoped they will make you agree that having fun is serious business indeed. Warning: Not for the Humor Impaired.
Walking The Rusty Tracks of the Quatrain
Having attended a writing group for the last 40 years, I find I can write in only four lines what once took a thousand. I hope you enjoy these quatrains-I have enjoyed writing them, The Rusty Tracks Of The Quatrain is my second book of poetry; my first was Alphabet Critters, published in 2013. I have also written for The Best Dearborn Stories, Voices from Henry Ford's Hometown, published by the Museum Guild of Dearborn. My favorite activities growing up in Dearborn were listening to radio programs, getting books from Bryant Library, and reading the Saturday Evening Post and Collier's. I fondly recall collecting tin foil, attending bonfires and pressuring my parents to buy war bonds during the WWII years. See her first book Alphabet Critters, this book, and some of her other work at www.tippetthouse.com
Textual Non Sense
'Absolutely the most important book of our era.' Virginia WoolTextual Non Sense is mischievous, minimalist, and revolutionary: a short fuse intended to spark a fundamental re-thinking of how we engage with notions of canon. Classic texts are mangled, quotes are mis-attributed, and great authors are misidentified as Robert Crawford brings literature and chaos theory together in a romance made on Tinder. William Shakespeare of the School of Literature and Bookmaking introduces a survey of writers' struggles. John Buchan provides his guide to writing a best-seller (blotting paper plays a key role). Professor Mike Foucault employs Big Data to investigate the new discipline, 'Creaticism', or 'Critive Writing.'Humour and literary criticism tend to go together like apples and arsenic. Textual Non Sense argues that humour is an essential corrective--a missing ingredient to a cure for the arthritis and calcification of academic literary criticism.'I just can't wait for the American edition!' Emily Dickinson
Frankenstein
PLEASE READ: Bottom-dwelling parody author Dick Cody Heese is responsible for this desecration of Mary Shelley's 1831 edition of "Frankenstein." The addition of a single sentence in every chapter suggesting that Frankenstein's monster is incapable of consuming gluten adds absolutely no value to the original novel. Inevitably, readers will revolt against the concept of public domain upon glimpsing any portion of this book. However, in the end, "Frankenstein: But The Monster is Allergic to Gluten" prevails as the ultimate tale of ambition, knowledge, and a general intolerance of wheat-based products.Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including: "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis," "Moby Kevin," and "Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God."
Bless Your Heart, You Freakin’ Idiot
The largest collection of Southern proverbs, threats and insults - translated. Each saying is categorized and annotated with alternative sayings, explanations, facts, or similar quotes from famous people. Warning: this book could be fatal to unconverted Yankees.
Forty Jobs in Forty Years
This is a recollection of jobs done by one man in forty years and all the humorous and sometimes touching moments in between during his search for the perfect occupation. From breaking rocks to silver service steward, the author takes you on a short journey of parts of his life in Australia.
The Day the Laughter Died Volume 1
Take a journey back in time to a world where comedy was king and the men and women who made us laugh were the brightest of stars. Comedy is not always funny once the spotlight goes out and the audience goes home. Come with Catherine Olen on a trip through the highs and lows, the triumph and tragedy, the successes and failures of our favorite comedians from the beginnings of Vaudeville all the way through the present day.When the laughter died, their stories did not. Find out what happened beyond the stage and screen.As always, Catherine Olen leaves you dying for more.
Garfield What Leftovers?
Garfield returns--weighing more than ever!--for his 71st book. They're all here in this brand-new full-color compilation comic strip book: Jon, Odie, Nermal, and, of course, our favorite fat cat, Garfield! Leftovers? Garfield doesn't get the concept. The conscientious fat cat does his best to reduce food waste, gobbling all the grub the first time. (Besides, ignored edibles develop low self-esteem.) Garfield fans will feast on this binge-worthy new collection of comics!
Odd Oddyssey of The Wise Xerxes
A sad excuse for a warrior goes on a journey to search for many cursed objects in the name of his one true goddess, in order to take down a foolish organization that dared spread nonsense throughout the universe. This comedic farce aims to make readers laugh without offending anybody. Anyone who is a fan of classical monsters and creatures, new worlds, and new races, is sure to enjoy this unique, page-turning book.
Incredulous Stewpidity
... ABOUT THIS BOOK ... My Uncle was once sentenced to 5 years in an all-female prison ... He got 10 for good behaviour! My brother is a physicist. His girlfriend is a biologist. If you ask me ... they've no chemistry! I was on a drive last week when a policeman pulled me over. He said, "Road works ahead." I said ... "Does it?" ... You've read the back ... now buy the book!!!
Supernaturalz
"This whole town is coming apart."In this hilarious comedy-horror, six gang girls on a wicked joy ride hit Salem and get trapped in a house by the curse of goddess Kali who turns them against each other one way or another. One of them is the daughter of semi-immortal witch Dawn who enlists the aide of a broken down Indian magician to find her, and they all wind up messing with the sinfully delicious supernatural.
Incredulous Stewpidity
... ABOUT THIS BOOK ... My Uncle was once sentenced to 5 years in an all-female prison ... He got 10 for good behaviour! My brother is a physicist. His girlfriend is a biologist. If you ask me ... they've no chemistry! I was on a drive last week when a policeman pulled me over. He said, "Road works ahead." I said ... "Does it?" ... You've read the back ... now buy the book!!!
ONLY IN NEW YORK, Volume 2
NEW YORK'S UNIQUE DNA LAID BARE IN 37 TRUE STORIES THAT RUN THE GAMUT FROM HILARIOUS AND HYSTERICAL TO MOVING AND CONTEMPLATIVE.Among these 37 unforgettable short stories, you will learn how a school's Mascot Ram was accidentally murdered and Why Chiquita Bananas CEO jumped out a 44th Floor window on Park Avenue, .You'll also discover how a stoned Neil Young performed in Milwaukee, Joan Rivers sent up her husband at the Four Seasons Restaurant, and a group of multi-millionaires consumed a prodigious amount of high fat Jewish comfort food at a landmark restaurant in a Bowery basement.These are poignant, entertaining, and powerful stories about a Manhattan that is almost gone. Chronicled by a native New Yorker, with 37 original illustrations, Only in New York Vol 1, 2, and 3 are must reads.
The Lighter Side 2
Andy Thompson is back with another laugh-out-loud collection of stories that reveal the essential ingredient that paramedics and ambulance technicians call on as a coping mechanism - the ability to conjure humour from situations most others would find too stressful to even raise a smile. Whether during an emergency call, setting up fellow colleagues with a prank, putting distressed patients at ease, or seeing the funny side of a bad outcome, Andy opens the window on what it's really like to be a member of Britain's frontline NHS Ambulance Service.In 'The Lighter Side, Part 2 - A Former NHS Paramedic's Selection of Humorous Mess Room Tales' we hear of the special constable having a panic attack... while cuffed to the metal headboard of her firefighter partner's bed. The middle-aged man convinced by his teenage girlfriend of three weeks that she is twelve weeks pregnant with his baby. The lady who was more concerned about her carpet than the critical condition of her husband. How medical charades can overcome a language barrier. The ghostly goings-on during a call to the local cemetery that had Andy's crewmate quivering. And what happened when 'Hyacinth' told Andy, "...you pugnacious, silly man... send a doctor at once!"Find out what went on when a paintballing event brings together paramedics, off-duty armed-response police officers, and a young man with Tourette's. Forty hysterically funny stories in all, each rounded off to perfection by cartoonist Richard Duszcak's wonderfully drawn illustrations. Sometimes outrageous, occasionally sick and twisted, but we dare you not to chuckle through the whole book, and laugh your head off in places. But careful, you wouldn't want Andy to have to come and sew it back on again.
The Lighter Side Part 2
Andy Thompson is back with another laugh-out-loud collection of stories that reveal the essential ingredient that paramedics and ambulance technicians call on as a coping mechanism - the ability to conjure humour from situations most others would find too stressful to even raise a smile. Whether during an emergency call, setting up fellow colleagues with a prank, putting distressed patients at ease, or seeing the funny side of a bad outcome, Andy opens the window on what it's really like to be a member of Britain's frontline NHS Ambulance Service.In 'The Lighter Side, Part 2 - A Former NHS Paramedic's Selection of Humorous Mess Room Tales' we hear of the special constable having a panic attack... while cuffed to the metal headboard of her firefighter partner's bed. The middle-aged man convinced by his teenage girlfriend of three weeks that she is twelve weeks pregnant with his baby. The lady who was more concerned about her carpet than the critical condition of her husband. How medical charades can overcome a language barrier. The ghostly goings-on during a call to the local cemetery that had Andy's crewmate quivering. And what happened when 'Hyacinth' told Andy, "...you pugnacious, silly man... send a doctor at once!"Find out what went on when a paintballing event brings together paramedics, off-duty armed-response police officers, and a young man with Tourette's. Forty hysterically funny stories in all, each rounded off to perfection by cartoonist Richard Duszcak's wonderfully drawn illustrations. Sometimes outrageous, occasionally sick and twisted, but we dare you not to chuckle through the whole book, and laugh your head off in places. But careful, you wouldn't want Andy to have to come and sew it back on again.
A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape
A USA TODAY BESTSELLER!The cozy comedy of Joe Pera meets the darkly playful illustrations of Joe Bennett in A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape, a funny, warm, and sincere guide to regaining calm and confidence when you're hiding in the bathroom. "Nothing says 'class' to your dinner guests more than a Joe Pera book next to the can." --Seth Meyers Joe Pera goes to the bathroom a lot. And his friend, Joe Bennett, does too. They both have small bladders but more often it's just to get a moment of quiet, a break from work, or because it's the only way they know how to politely end conversations. So they created a functional meditative guide to help people who suffer from social anxiety and deal with it in this very particular way. Although, it's a comedic book, the goal is to help these readers: 1. Relax2. Recharge3. Rejoin the world outside of the bathroom It's also fun entertainment for people simply hiding in the bathroom to avoid doing work. A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing But Using the Bathroom as an Escape will be waiting in the bathroom like a beacon for anxious readers looking to feel calm, confident, and less alone. "Nothing says 'class' to your dinner guests more than a Joe Pera book next to the can." --Seth Meyers "A beautiful and funny book about something I have done all my life. Thank you, Mr. Joseph Pera." --Aidy Bryant
When Destiny Sings
A story of life, love, loss and seeking more, three generations of women are all on a journey to change their circumstances and find the life they believe they were destined for . . . revealing a terrible secret that changes it all.In 1960s Ireland, Maggie Treacy has never felt she belongs. Determined to change her life, the transformation doesn't come without cost, but she isn't going to let anything stand in her way. Never comfortable with losing control, most of her stories gather more legs than a spider. She cuts her family off in hope of a better life, not really thinking much beyond the wedding and the big house. An ideal vicar's wife? You decide . . .Felicity, Maggie's daughter, endures a lonely and neglected existence. She longs for the simple life that her mother left behind. A prisoner in her own life, she yearns to escape, to be part of the life that she looks out at. Will she find the love and sense of belonging that she's always been denied?Felicity's daughter, Ann, otherwise known as Bella, is lost. A spectator in her own life, she doesn't know who she is any more. Married into a wealthy Dublin family, she has everything she ever wanted, except the love she once knew. When her husband turns out not to be the man she thought he was, battling her demons, she seeks to uncover the truth about the past, always lurking in the shadows.Their lives had seemed so perfect until they weren't. Can Bella evolve beyond the secret that has torn them all apart? Will she ever look at things with fresh eyes and a new understanding?An entertaining read that transcends time with history repeating itself, proving it's not our circumstances that define us but the power within to change.
Support Your Local Confederate
When one thinks of the American Civil War and the South, the last thing that comes to mind is hilarity, merriment, and levity. Yet, the Confederate soldier had a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous, evident at times even in the heat of battle, as award-winning author-historian Lochlainn Seabrook amply demonstrates in his entertaining lighthearted book, Support Your Local Confederate: Wit and Humor in the Southern Confederacy.Derived from original Nineteenth- and early Twentieth-Century sources, Seabrook's collection of some 400 old-timey entries covers a wide spectrum of authentic Confederate humor, from jokes about the everyday life of a soldier, to funny anecdotal stories concerning food, clothing, the weather, women, marching, weaponry, and combat; from witty Confederate sayings, to sagacious Confederate views and advice on money, success, marriage, and happiness. The whimsical, sarcastic, and often sharp-tongued Confederate soldier spared no one: his waggish playfulness, droll erudition, devilish prank-playing, and witty repartee found an overabundance of unsuspecting victims among his army buddies, his highfalutin superiors, and even his Yankee foes - a group with whom he often shared coffee, traded clothing, and engaged in comical banter.Along with an introduction, endnotes, and bibliography, Col. Seabrook's work is generously illustrated with old Confederate images from the Victorian Era, and also includes several of his own jocose contributions. This delightful and hilarious romp through the archives of Confederate wisdom, tomfoolery, and horseplay will make you think, smile, and laugh out loud. Destined to become a classic in Southern literature. Support Your Local Confederate is available in paperback and hardcover. (All text copyright (c) Sea Raven Press)Award-winning historian Lochlainn Seabrook is the author and editor of nearly 100 books, including: Abraham Lincoln Was a Liberal, Jefferson Davis Was a Conservative; Lincoln's War: The Real Cause, the Real Winner, the Real Loser; What the Confederate Flag Means to Me; Heroes of the Southern Confederacy: The Illustrated Book of Confederate Officials, Soldiers, and Civilians; All We Ask is to Be Let Alone: The Southern Secession Fact Book; The Unholy Crusade: Lincoln's Legacy of Destruction in the American South; The Great Yankee Coverup: What the North Doesn't Want You to Know About Lincoln's War; Confederacy 101: Amazing Facts You Never Knew About America's Oldest Political Tradition; Confederate Flag Facts: What Every American Should Know About Dixie's Southern Cross; The Bittersweet Bond: Race Relations in the Old South as Described by White and Black Southerners; Women in Gray: A Tribute to the Ladies Who Supported the Southern Confederacy; Everything You Were Taught About American Slavery is Wrong, Ask a Southerner!; Honest Jeff and Dishonest Abe: A Southern Children's Guide to the Civil War; The Constitution of the Confederate States of America Explained; A Rebel Born: A Defense of Nathan Bedford Forrest; and the international blockbuster Everything You Were Taught About the Civil War is Wrong, Ask a Southerner!
The Dark Side of the Moon
Three intrepid astronauts blast off from Earth and head for the moon, just as the COVID-19 pandemic hits the world. The astronauts must contend with a crew member swapping instant meals for a stockpile of toilet rolls, deal with boredom, face an attack by an overgrown and aggressive mutant virus, establish a lunar field hospital, and celebrate a birthday while self-distancing in a cramped space capsule. While mission control works from home, now only time will tell if the astronauts will make it back to Earth safely. The Dark Side of the Moon is the humorous, colorful tale of the unforgettable journey of three astronauts as they leave Earth just as a global pandemic strikes.
The Future Will Not Involve Underwear
A collection of essays filled with humor, satire, and engaging irreverence, occasionally casting a point. We decided one of the lighthearted points of this collection is to make you possibly laugh, or giggle, preferably right when you're taking a drink of say carbonated water so it comes out your nose. The other lighthearted point is to make you laugh at work so you get in trouble with some authority figure. When was the last time you were in trouble? Come on, live a little. (What would be incredible is if liquid came out your nose at work from laughing, resulting in you getting in trouble.)With humor, you can tell the truth......and the purpose of satire is to make those in power uncomfortable, really uncomfortable, to the point they say, "This has to stop."
Support Your Local Confederate
When one thinks of the American Civil War and the South, the last thing that comes to mind is hilarity, merriment, and levity. Yet, the Confederate soldier had a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous, evident at times even in the heat of battle, as award-winning author-historian Lochlainn Seabrook amply demonstrates in his entertaining lighthearted book, Support Your Local Confederate: Wit and Humor in the Southern Confederacy.Derived from original Nineteenth- and early Twentieth-Century sources, Seabrook's collection of some 400 old-timey entries covers a wide spectrum of authentic Confederate humor, from jokes about the everyday life of a soldier, to funny anecdotal stories concerning food, clothing, the weather, women, marching, weaponry, and combat; from witty Confederate sayings, to sagacious Confederate views and advice on money, success, marriage, and happiness. The whimsical, sarcastic, and often sharp-tongued Confederate soldier spared no one: his waggish playfulness, droll erudition, devilish prank-playing, and witty repartee found an overabundance of unsuspecting victims among his army buddies, his highfalutin superiors, and even his Yankee foes - a group with whom he often shared coffee, traded clothing, and engaged in comical banter.Along with an introduction, endnotes, and bibliography, Col. Seabrook's work is generously illustrated with old Confederate images from the Victorian Era, and also includes several of his own jocose contributions. This delightful and hilarious romp through the archives of Confederate wisdom, tomfoolery, and horseplay will make you think, smile, and laugh out loud. Destined to become a classic in Southern literature. Support Your Local Confederate is available in paperback and hardcover. (All text copyright (c) Sea Raven Press)Award-winning historian Lochlainn Seabrook is the author and editor of nearly 100 books, including: Abraham Lincoln Was a Liberal, Jefferson Davis Was a Conservative; Lincoln's War: The Real Cause, the Real Winner, the Real Loser; What the Confederate Flag Means to Me; Heroes of the Southern Confederacy: The Illustrated Book of Confederate Officials, Soldiers, and Civilians; All We Ask is to Be Let Alone: The Southern Secession Fact Book; The Unholy Crusade: Lincoln's Legacy of Destruction in the American South; The Great Yankee Coverup: What the North Doesn't Want You to Know About Lincoln's War; Confederacy 101: Amazing Facts You Never Knew About America's Oldest Political Tradition; Confederate Flag Facts: What Every American Should Know About Dixie's Southern Cross; The Bittersweet Bond: Race Relations in the Old South as Described by White and Black Southerners; Women in Gray: A Tribute to the Ladies Who Supported the Southern Confederacy; Everything You Were Taught About American Slavery is Wrong, Ask a Southerner!; Honest Jeff and Dishonest Abe: A Southern Children's Guide to the Civil War; The Constitution of the Confederate States of America Explained; A Rebel Born: A Defense of Nathan Bedford Forrest; and the international blockbuster Everything You Were Taught About the Civil War is Wrong, Ask a Southerner!
What Does This Say?
Another collection of the heartwarming and hilarious Family Circus cartoons of Bil Keane, featured daily in nearly 1,500 newspapers worldwide!
The Dark Side of the Moon
Three intrepid astronauts blast off from Earth and head for the moon, just as the COVID-19 pandemic hits the world. The astronauts must contend with a crew member swapping instant meals for a stockpile of toilet rolls, deal with boredom, face an attack by an overgrown and aggressive mutant virus, establish a lunar field hospital, and celebrate a birthday while self-distancing in a cramped space capsule. While mission control works from home, now only time will tell if the astronauts will make it back to Earth safely. The Dark Side of the Moon is the humorous, colorful tale of the unforgettable journey of three astronauts as they leave Earth just as a global pandemic strikes.
Woke, Banned, Censored & Cancelled
People are woke. Movies are being banned. Comedy and jokes are censored. Holidays are being cancelled. This book is a compilation of news stories showcasing the "war on everything" in society by the current, self-appointed, politically correct thought and speech police Nazis. Welcome to the new world of "Woke, Banned, Censored & Cancelled."
A Lady’s Life in the Rocky Mountains
A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains (1879) is a work of travel literature by British explorer Isabella Bird. Adventurous from a young age, Bird gained a reputation as a writer and photographer interested in nature and the stories and cultures of people around the world. A bestselling author and the first woman inducted into the Royal Geographical Society, Bird is recognized today as a pioneering woman whose contributions to travel writing, exploration, and philanthropy are immeasurable. In 1872-after a year of sailing from Britain to Australia and Hawaii-Isabella Bird journeyed by boat to San Francisco before making her way over land through California and Wyoming to the Colorado Territory. There, she befriended an outdoorsman named Rocky Mountain Jim, who guided her throughout the vast wilderness of Colorado and accompanied her during a journey of over 800 miles. Traveling on foot and on horseback-Bird was an experienced and skillful rider-the two formed a curious but formidable pair, eventually reaching the 14,259 foot (4346 m) summit of Longs Peak, making Bird one of the first women to accomplish the feat. A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains, Bird's most iconic work, was a bestseller upon publication, and has since inspired generations of readers. This edition of Isabella Bird's A Lady's Life in the Rocky Mountains is a classic of American literature and travel writing reimagined for modern readers. Since our inception in 2020, Mint Editions has kept sustainability and innovation at the forefront of our mission. Each and every Mint Edition title gets a fresh, professionally typeset manuscript and a dazzling new cover, all while maintaining the integrity of the original book. With thousands of titles in our collection, we aim to spotlight diverse public domain works to help them find modern audiences. Mint Editions celebrates a breadth of literary works, curated from both canonical and overlooked classics from writers around the globe.
Pride and Prejudice
PLEASE READ: "Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God" is Dick Cody Heese's gravest injustice before the literary world. In this near-exact retelling of Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel, Heese adds one poorly-integrated sentence to each chapter inferring that Mr. Darcy possesses insanely bodacious vaping skills. The well-loved tale of various dinner invitations and ill-conceived marriage proposals takes no benefit from Mr. Heese's contributions. Fans of the original will loathe this derivative work entirely, and the author profusely apologizes to Ms. Austen and her estate for this indiscretion. Rightly banished to the annals of self-publishing by every major book distributor, the disreputable Dick Cody Heese is quickly descending into new, subterranean depths of awful parody with his latest writing.Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis," "Moby Kevin," and "Frankenstein: But the Monster is Allergic to Gluten."
Aphorisms for the Uncommon Reader
AAphorisms for the Uncommon Reader was released by Logica Books and is available at Amazon, B&N, Book Depository, and local bookstores. It provides a review of this briefest and broadest form of the literary arts, followed by 400 original, thought-provoking, and humorous insights, for example: The toucan sees nothing unusual in the mirror.We make lifelong friends while we are young and indiscriminate.Capitalism: n. An ingenious system for creating work for workers, wealth for the wealthy, and poverty for the poor.You can learn what you have to say only by listening when you speak.Perceptions: n. pl. Images from our past distorted to accommodate the objects currently before us.Happiness isn't something that happens to us. It's something we do.We usually understand what we heard, even when we don't understand what was said.Adulthood: n. The developmental stage in which we abandon our selves to become our lives.Militia: n. An armed mob organized by shirt color-historically black or brown.
Motions and Moments
"Takes the sweeping size, bustle, and chaos of Tokyo and makes it small, introspective, and personal," Independent Publisher. "Captures the essence and allure of Tokyo." Feathered Quill."A memoir to be savored like a fine red wine," Publishers Daily. Motions and Moments captures the ceaseless flow and brief momentary dramas of the biggest city in the world with gentle humor and rich detail. As in his first two books, this third memoir of life in Tokyo explores the uniqueness of living in small spaces, learning to love crowds, sitting under cherry blossoms, and surviving the 2011 earthquake. These short, personal pieces go deeper into the fascinating undercurrents of life in Tokyo.After two-plus decades living, teaching, and writing in Tokyo, the author remains fascinated by how Tokyoites work, commute, and eat standing up at elbow-bumping counters. With an eye for detail and a passion for the city, the writing is steeped in the city's perpetual energy. Motions and Moments is one American's exploration of the intricate life in one of the most dynamic places in the world. Winner Best Indie Book Award Non-FictionIndie Groundbreaking Book Independent Publisher Book ReviewGold Award Readers' Favorite Non-Fiction CulturalGold Award Global E-Book Awards Travel WritingGold Award Non-Fiction Author's AssociationMore at: www.michaelpronko.com
Me and The Monkey
Well there's this talking monkey who won me in a game of Othello in a coffee shop in Amsterdam. He came back to Cornwall with me and has become a prolific reader and dabbler in magic. He also has past life flash backs - the most prominent of which are the Nam special forces ones. We have partially deceased girlfriends who apparently eat dead bodies. The Monkey created a sort of black hole in the spare bedroom and now we have a team of nerds investigating it and trying to stop 'things' coming out of it. A bunch of Oriental hit men who appear to believe he is a god attempted to steal The Monkey's magic lolly pop sticks, but he managed to blow them up in their caravan. We are off to Cambodia in search of a temple from which came a monkey faced pendant with glowing eyes and we seem to have upset an international cabal who are out to get us. Oh, and did I mention that The Monkey likes a cigar and we regularly get very drunk on Jack Daniels... Interested? Perplexed? Worried? Come on in and join the fun. Written in the form of blog entries this is our story so far...
Best Old Folks Jokes Ever
I woke up this morning and forgot which direction the sun rises from... then it dawned on me. I heard a funny joke about a boomerang earlier. I'm sure it will come back to me. Aging gets old after a while. Pun intended. Gone are the days when you can remember why you went into the kitchen, what medications you are taking for what, and whether you hurt your neck doing something amazing or you just slept funny (and it's not really funny because, quite honestly, you don't know if your neck will ever work properly again). When you need to find humor in the not-somarvellous life changes, pick up Best Old Folks Jokes Ever and chuckle along with everyone else who is growing older. That's literally everyone. A little laughter can go a long way in accepting the inevitable with gratitude and grace.
The Gospel According to a Sitcom Writer
Maybe Jesus was joking, the disciples didn't know what they were doing and the New Testament is a lot funnier than you might think.You would think it weird if someone suddenly ascended into heaven, right? Reading between the lines, do we detect a touch of rivalry between Peter and John? And surely the lack of parables in the latter's mystical tome is simply crying out to be redressed...In this sparklingly witty book, BBC sitcom writer James Cary gives us a new and liberating way of looking at the gospel as he entertainingly relates it to a modern context, with references ranging from Charles Dickens to The Vicar of Dibley. Cheerfully playing around with the text, he takes the Bible seriously but allows us to laugh at our own petty vanities and foibles - and be enlightened in the process.The Gospel According to a Sitcom Writer is ideal for anyone wanting to liven up their Bible reading and looking for new ways to be thrilled by this sacred text. It's also perfect for priests, pastors, youth leaders and all those involved in ministry and giving sermons, as James Cary shows using comedy and humour is a brilliant way to communicate the gospel.Warm, funny and full of brilliant insight and Christian humour, The Gospel According to a Sitcom Writer will make you laugh out loud and shake your head in awe. You'll never read the Bible the same way again.
Field and Hedgerow
"The Life of the Fields" and "Field and Hedgerow," by Richard Jefferies, are delightful books for lover of the country. - The Parents' Review"A July fly went sideways over the long grass. His wings made a burr about him like a net, beating so fast they wrapped him round with a cloud. Every now and then, as he flew over the trees of grass, a taller one than common stopped him, and there he clung, and then the eye had time to see the scarlet spots-the loveliest colour-on his wings. The wind swung the bennet and loosened his hold, and away he went again over the grasses, and not one jot did he care if they were Poa or Festuca, or Bromus or Hordeum, or any other name. Names were nothing to him; all he had to do was to whirl his scarlet spots about in the brilliant sun, rest when he liked, and go on again. I wonder whether it is a joy to have bright scarlet spots, and to be clad in the purple and gold of life; is the colour felt by the creature that wears it?" - from The July Grass.
Menopause Madness
From Simon & Schuster, Menopause Madness is Pat Ross' empathetic little book about the misery of menopause. Ever since the perils of menopause came out of the closet, women have been barraged with books about the subject-many of them helpful, all of them serious. Now Pat Ross considers all the symptoms--hot flashes, mood swings, hormones, and expanding waistlines--and treats them with a delightful touch of humor.
Drumpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall
Drumpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall is a collection of classic children's nursery rhymes remixed for adults; all at the expense of Trump. Each rhyme has a beautifully detailed, on the nose illustration that brings these hilarious renditions to life. Follow the timeline of terrible mishaps during his presidency through these laugh out loud jabs at the ex Commander-in-Cheat himself.Not only will you love each of the adult nursery rhymes you'll also feel great knowing that 20% of profits from each book sold are donated to the Save the Children humanitarian charity. Learn more about the Save the Children charity at SavetheChildren.orgThe hardcover makes a great gift, coffee table book or bathroom reader. Especially for your uncle in the MAGA hat.DrumptyDumptyBook.com
Campfire Tales & Other Lies
This book is for those of us who lose our hearing aids, wallet, and car keys...regularly. Much of it is written in bite size stories, memoirs, rants, and essays that stand on their own. It's about a village in Ireland and a visit home to the Irish speaking Gaelic area after 40 years in America. It's about a housing project in America where I grew up. It's about race, police, sacrifice, drink, and failure, it's about humor, love, and success. It's about lessons learned.
Mochi-Celeste Goes to Hawaii
A full-color humor book set in Hawaii with acerbic cat-attitude from "Mochi-Celeste". Taking a break from her usual full-time job of being "The Boss", Mochi-Celeste takes a vacation in the Hawaiian Islands to explore the many things they have to offer: beach time, surfing, hula, sea turtles, volcanoes, beautiful sunsets.Yet, with her iconic annoyed look on every page, even in paradise she is still "Never Satisfied".Based on the actual bookstore cat "Celeste_the_Cat_Boss" of Instagram, who was ranked in the "Top 10 Bookstore Cats in the World" by MentalFloss.com.
Girl, If I Knew Then What I Know Now
In Girl, If I Knew Then What I Know Now K.J. Dixon mixes modern wisdom with age-old adages to provide you with a dose of the good advice your mother probably gave you- and some of the not-so-good advice that you wish she hadn't.
The Duck
There is a great war coming. The Duck has been waiting, watching and preparing to once again rise and crush humanity. Those enlightened few of us who are capable of seeing this threat in time must learn, study and arm ourselves against the coming storm. Use this book to educate yourself and prepare for what may be our species' most perilous days.
