Toxic Tales
After crashing his way to the presidency with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, Donald J. Trump was now faced with tackling the most important job stretched out before him during the next four years: proving he was indeed magnificent. There had to be a way for this great and powerful titan of titans to separate himself from the rest and exhibit how a man's man, a genuine hero, and an off-the-charts genius carried himself. So incorporating the masterful skills he honed as a razor-sharp orator along 2016's brutal Campaign Trail of Fears, he decided he would write letters, and not just any letters. No, these would be positively stuffed with powerful, masterful prose and Jeffersonian in weight. They would be Very Important Letters. Armed with only a nuclear-powered typewriter, the vocabulary of a true giant and a yet unseen command of centuries and centuries of history and perspective, the very important man wrote his very important letters to chronicle his very important, if not very improbable, presidency.
Torts R Us-A Legal Farce
"The first thing we do, let's pay all the lawyers."-William ShakespearePatrick A. Peters ("Pap") and his twin brother Prescott U. Peters ("Pup") are lawyers with a distinctive eye for opportunity. Pap convinces Pup who is a good lawyer despite having gone to Yale Law School that they should leave their respective big-firm practices in New York City to start up a hopefully lucrative practice as plaintiffs' class action lawyers.The brothers meet a variety of clients, judges, and lawyers as they embark on a resourceful and unique approach to lawyer-client relationships all inspired by actual court cases. Written with humor and parlance that only comes from a depth of legal experience, Morrison captures the trials and tribulations of human behavior that strike a chord with every reader."The book is hilarious from beginning to end! There were times when I laughed out loud. The word plays are very clever (read slowly to really appreciate them) and the plot manages to skewer many of our long-held personal preferences, while not being mean-spirited. The real "send up" here is the class action industry, which suffers quite a (deserved) roast. Do not miss this book!"-Maureen BatemanLong ago associate of Davis, Polk & Wardwell and past general counsel of United States Trust Company and then general counsel of State Street Bank and Trust Company.
...And Don’t Hit Your Sister with the Dog!
"...And Don't Hit Your Sister With the Dog!" is a celebration of raising triplets. From day into sleepless night through "organizational offence," working mom, Carmel La Sala-Promisel takes the reader on her journey from "DINKS" couple to instant family. Through humor, she captures the reality of raising triplets in a time of two working parents, little family help and controlled chaos. part instructional, part zany and always engaging, the reader experiences the entertaining road which is her life.
Cats in the House
Cats in the HouseBy: Don HalsteadDo you ever wonder what your cat is thinking? How he sees our world?Well, wonder no longer! Pipin the Tuxedo cat is here to walk you through a day in the life..., no holds barred! Especially when it comes to the truth about his sister, Emma the Maine Coon cat. (She's kind of an oddball, but what big sister isn't?)At the end of the day, you might be surprised how normal all the abnormal things your cat does are...at least from their perspective!About the AuthorDon Halstead is retired and lives with his wonderful wife in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. He worked as an economist for the federal government and taught economics at a community college in the Washington D.C. area.Mr. Halstead loves to bowl, play tennis, and walk. He is also an avid reader and stamp collector. He is actively involved with a Lutheran church in town, and he has worked as a volunteer at his local library and at the local animal rescue.He has four darling children, an awesome step-daughter, and five grandchildren, along with two cats, Pipin and Emma.
...And Don’t Hit Your Sister with the Dog!
"...And Don't Hit Your Sister With the Dog!" is a celebration of raising triplets. From day into sleepless night through "organizational offence," working mom, Carmel La Sala-Promisel takes the reader on her journey from "DINKS" couple to instant family. Through humor, she captures the reality of raising triplets in a time of two working parents, little family help and controlled chaos. part instructional, part zany and always engaging, the reader experiences the entertaining road which is her life.
Trivia for Seniors
Looking for the MOST ACCURATE Trivia Book?Get your customer addicted to Your Store!What is the most amazing Trivia Book?Leading a too sedentary lifestyle having no reading interests or personal interests makes the brain less active and therefore more predisposed to a decrease in brain function therefore the incidence of cognitive deficits increases.Fortunately for us, our brain can discreetly counteract the advancement of age if we take care of itSo what's better than reading and personal knowledge to keep our brains active? The miraculous benefits that reading and puzzle activities bring to the brain's abilities have been scientifically proven time and time again.Challenge your family or friends with 500 original quizzes on various general knowledge topics such as: US History and US Presidency, Cities, World War 2, Sports, Oceans, Religion and Mythology, Country Music, Guitarist, American gangster, Art, Literature, Animals, Sea Animals, Epidemics, Guitarists, Geography, Vacations, Interesting American Facts, Science and Nature, Human Body, Food and Drinks, Miscellaneous, Sitcoms and Movies, Famous People and Multinational Companies!In which American state is it allowed to drink alcohol while driving?Which President weighed 152 kilograms and got stuck in the bathtub one day?What remedy did Hitler find in 1941 to satisfy the sexual needs of his troops?Who gave the name "Cosa Nostra" to the Italian American mafia?Why is sushi always served with ginger and wasabi?Quizzes are interspersed with different levels of difficulty so that anyone can participate and have fun together.What are you waiting for?This Book Will Make Your Customer Come Back Again!
It’s Never So Bad That It Can’t Get Worse
Gary Vonk is a life-long learner who has held senior positions in higher education and corporate leadership. A leader in higher education, as well as a faculty member and student mentor, Dr. Vonk has taught at the upper division university level in courses in business, management, and technology. He became a university professor in January of 2007 after a career of nearly thirty years in retailing and company turnaround management where he served as CEO, President and Senior Executive for a half dozen public and/or private companies. What's in This Book for You?Simply put, you might read this book and evaluate what exactly you need to do. There might be times when you are not sure what you are doing is wrong or right. This book might help to lighten that load. I expect that by going through these chapters, you will find a technique or two to increase your impact on others. You might see who you should be thanking, and maybe even, who you should be letting go to make your team a better one. And take a second to see how you can apply these things in your personal, as well as professional life. I wish you all the best on this journey! Here's to hoping that you discover ways to transform your life, the lives of others, and maybe even the world! I am lucky to have all of these experiences and I feel even luckier to be able to pass them on to you. I hope they bring you great success, as they have for me.
Trivia for Seniors
Looking for the MOST ACCURATE Trivia Book?Get your customer addicted to Your Store!What is the most amazing Trivia Book?Leading a too sedentary lifestyle having no reading interests or personal interests makes the brain less active and therefore more predisposed to a decrease in brain function therefore the incidence of cognitive deficits increases.Fortunately for us, our brain can discreetly counteract the advancement of age if we take care of itSo what's better than reading and personal knowledge to keep our brains active? The miraculous benefits that reading and puzzle activities bring to the brain's abilities have been scientifically proven time and time again.Challenge your family or friends with 500 original quizzes on various general knowledge topics such as: US History and US Presidency, Cities, World War 2, Sports, Oceans, Religion and Mythology, Country Music, Guitarist, American gangster, Art, Literature, Animals, Sea Animals, Epidemics, Guitarists, Geography, Vacations, Interesting American Facts, Science and Nature, Human Body, Food and Drinks, Miscellaneous, Sitcoms and Movies, Famous People and Multinational Companies!In which American state is it allowed to drink alcohol while driving?Which President weighed 152 kilograms and got stuck in the bathtub one day?What remedy did Hitler find in 1941 to satisfy the sexual needs of his troops?Who gave the name "Cosa Nostra" to the Italian American mafia?Why is sushi always served with ginger and wasabi?Quizzes are interspersed with different levels of difficulty so that anyone can participate and have fun together.What are you waiting for?This Book Will Make Your Customer Come Back Again!
The Witch Demands a Retraction
Pinocchio Runs for Office, The Peeved Piper, Not So Snow White and so many more in this twisted collection of adult fairy tales!This hilarious collection of poems by Melissa Balmain puts a grown-up, contemporary spin on the stories and characters we all learned as children, from Little Red Riding Hood, to the Three Bears, the Pied Piper, and Cinderella; each delightfully depicted in full-color by Ron Barrett, (Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) one of the best and award winning illustrators in the business.Early Praise for The Witch Demands a Retraction: "If you're looking for the perfect bedtime poetry to send your little ones peacefully to dreamland, keep moving. In The Witch Demands a Retraction, Melissa Balmain's poetic retakes of classic fairytales, 'happy endings' means something else, and Mama Bear finds a clue in her bed that Goldilocks was not after the porridge. Witty, cringey, and hilarious. For every parent who wants a break from sincerity, and for every bad aunt or uncle looking for the perfect gift - this is your book." - Tom Bodett, author and NPR personality"This is an extremely irresponsible book - imprudent, unconscionable, certain to emotionally scar impressionable children for life. I highly recommend it." - Gene Weingarten, syndicated humor columnist, The Washington Post"Like Leopold and Loeb, Balmain and Barrett are a pair that will go down in history-not that I'm implying anything. It's just that when the right pair gets together at the right time, great things happen. And if a cousin or two had to die for this book? Totally worth it." - Michael Gerber, Publisher, The American Bystander"Does anyone say, 'OH NO SHE DI-INT!' anymore? Because that will be your response to basically every poem in this treat of a book. Balmain turns every fairy tale on its head and shows us its panties, none the worse for wear. Just don't be drinking anything while you read, because these verses are a recipe for spit takes. Balmain has a warped mind and astonishing wit matched thoroughly by her warm heart. Come for the fart joke, stay for the sly and bawdy feminism."- Faith Salie, comedian, author, journalist, seen & heard on CBS, NPR & PBS
Evil Monkey Memes
Nuggets of nascent internet nonsense? Or profound philosophical propositions?Memes.A collection of memes presented within by characters from the popular indy comic book, The Saga of Evil Monkey Man!
The Great Gatsby
PLEASE READ: "The Great Gatsby: But Nick has Scoliosis" consists of one poorly integrated, sentence-long reference to Nick's scoliosis in each chapter. Literally, that's the only difference from the original Great Gatsby. I explain this in my videos but want to make sure that others who come across this page understand that. However, the minuscule references arguably add an immense depth of beauty to Fitzgerald's original work.Dick Cody Heese is the author of this bastardization of F. Scott Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby." Through the addition of one minute, sentence-long throw-away reference to Nick Carraway's scoliosis per chapter, he reimagines the American classic to include the narrator being afflicted with a curved spinal structure. Nick's mild deformity does nothing to change the original plot of the novel in any capacity. Undoubtedly, F. Scott Fitzgerald's estate is ruing the release of their copyright into the public domain.Heese has also written several other barely passable parodies, including "Frankenstein: But the Monster is Allergic to Gluten," "Moby Kevin," and "Pride and Prejudice: But Mr. Darcy is a Vape God." His parents are very proud of him.
You're Doing Great!
Comedian and Live from Here head writer Tom Papa, author of Your Dad Stole My Rake, tackles the modern condition in a heartwarming group of short essays. Tom Papa is a little worried about you. You seem stressed, overworked and, frankly, a little mixed up. Everyone is fighting an overwhelming feeling that things are getting worse, that we should be doing more, that we're not good enough. Well, life isn't perfect. There have always been problems and there always will be. You can fight for the things you believe in, you can work really, really hard, but you shouldn't lose track of the fact that while you're doing all that, life is flying by at lightning-fast speed. If you actually take a breath and look around you'll realize you're actually doing great. Here's the thing: We live in an amazing time filled with airplanes, scooters, and peanut butter cups. We have air conditioning, blenders, and martini shakers. It's time to refocus, enjoy it all, and stop waiting for something better! Relax with comedian and Live from Here writer and performer Tom Papa as he explores his favorite subjects in 75 essays, including: You Don't Have to Live Your Best LifeDon't Open the MailI'm So BakedI Love Your Love HandlesDon't Go TubingShut Up and Eat Recalibrate, turn off your device, and open your eyes to a better reality: You're doing great!
Doodle 4 Garden Earth
''Doodle with Intent' is a non-sequential picture book series for adults (NOT X-rated). Nonsensical picture books with whimsical pen and brush ink doodle illustrations, each with a short cryptic tale about the quirky good in life. This fun series remind us of the random oddities and complexities at play in nature and our lives, this one is an illustrated exploration of the magick amongst our Garden earth. These fun doodles remind us of the random oddities and complexities at play in nature and our lives and explore the fun in the silly side of life.A deluxe Hard copy version of Doodle with intent, 106 illustrated pages of pen and ink, and brush and ink doodles
The View from Poverty Ridge
When Indiana photojournalist Joseph F. Persinger and his wife, Judy, sold their house in town and moved into a small cabin in a rural neighborhood known as "Poverty Ridge," he decided to chronicle their experiences in a series of columns entitled "The View from Poverty Ridge," referring to the view of the countryside from their new location as well as the editorial views of the author. Combining humor, pathos, and nostalgia, the series attracted a loyal following of readers and was honored by the Hoosier State Press Association as "Best General Column" in the association's Better Newspaper Contest. Judges described Persinger's essays as "well written and interesting . . . Good grasp of small town America . . . Persinger tells the stories in his column very well, even sharing a lesson or two along the way . . . Persinger is not the 'grouchiest old coot in Indiana' and seeing through his facade is half the fun of reading his columns." This collection features 28 of those essays that will bring you a chuckle and perhaps a tear, and rekindle some warm memories of days gone by, especially if you grew up in small town America in the 1950's. Twenty-two of the author's scenic photographs provide an added bonus.
The Gentile’s Guide to the Jewish World
Been invited to a Bar Mitzvah? A Jewish wedding? A Passover Seder? Don't really know if a shiva at a Jewish house is like a wake? Should somebody who's not Jewish wear that skull cap in a synagogue? What should you wear? Are you tired of not knowing what all those Jewish words mean? Or are you just interested in what it means to be Jewish but you don't really want to make a whole study of it? It's high time to get comfortable with what it means to be Jewish and to finally understand all those great Jewish sayings that just say it the way no other language can. This is the book for you. The charm of the book is that it's written by a gentile (a nice Italian Catholic boy) who understands you and the problems you face in being introduced to Jewish life. It's written by a non-Jew who knows Jews so well, he can teach you everything you need to know, from the customs and habits to all the holidays and ceremonies to a short course in Jewish history. Whether you're about to marry somebody Jewish or you just want to not look silly when invited to a Jewish house, this is the book for you. Even if you're Jewish, it makes a nice present for someone dear to you who just needs to understand Jewish shtik. Speaking of which, the book includes a very useful and complete dictionary of Jewish words in everyday use that is positively hilarious.
463 Hard to Believe Facts
Award-winning author: 2020 Readers' Favorite Silver Medal*** 'A fun mix of facts that will surprise and amuse you.' The Wishing Shelf Book Awards This book is full of fun and verified facts, presented in an accessible manner that I hope will provide you with hours of entertainment. My objective has been to provide you with a lifetime supply of icebreakers and points of discussion. Amaze your friends and family by telling them that all the planets in our Solar System could fit in the distance between Earth and the Moon or that flamingos can drink boiling water. Following the success of my site RaiseYourBrain, I decided to collect the best trivia gems and present you with a fact compendium suitable for a wide audience. This is the product of years of sifting through history and references books on a myriad of subjects as well as searching the Internet and paying attention to the news. These facts are a result of years of sifting through history and reference books, as well as searching the Internet and researching the news. Each fact is suitable for nearly any age - the "spiciest" entries are separated by their own chapter but still use clean language! Become a trivia whiz with even more facts in the Hard to Believe Facts series!
Are Women People?
Are Women People? (1915) is a collection of poems by Alice Duer Miller. Inspired by her work as an activist for women's suffrage, Miller published many of these poems individually in the New York Tribune before compiling them into this larger work. Focusing on the opposition of politicians and citizens alike, Miller makes a compelling case for the extension of voting rights to women across the nation. With her keen eye for hypocrisy and even keener ear for the rhythms of the English language, Alice Miller Duer crafts a poetry both personal and political. In "Representation," she lampoons the notion that men's votes and voices are capable of representing the viewpoints of the women in their lives: "My present wife's a suffragist, and counts on my support, / [...] / One grandmother is on the fence, the other much opposed, / And my sister lives in Oregon, and thinks the question's closed; / Each one is counting on my vote to represent her view. / Now what should you think proper for a gentleman to do?" In these lighthearted lines, Miller satirizes the exclusion of women from American democracy, which inherently supposes that womanhood is monolithic, containing no opposing points of view. In "To President Wilson," Miller excoriates the President for his focus on militarism and foreign policy, asking "How can you plead so earnestly for men / Who fight their own fight with a bloody hand; / [...] and then / Forget the women of your native land?" Succinctly and convincingly, Miller makes her case for women's suffrage. With a beautifully designed cover and professionally typeset manuscript, this edition of Alice Duer Miller's Are Women People? is a classic of American literature reimagined for modern readers.
Law and Disorder
Heralding from a career in law enforcement in a Chicago suburb, Jay Castle, has seen it all. As once Deputy Director of the Southbrook, IL, police department, this rollicking book presents real-life stories that can only be recounted by someone who has lived it. From reports of 'flying saucers', to prominent figures being "unarrested", this collection of humorous tales is stranger than fiction.
Fashion Victims
Fashion victims? Our personal fashion victim stories can be the most comical memories life offers. Style is funny, especially when we take it too seriously. Style can be a metaphor for living, whether we follow the patterns of current trends or not. Some of us are simply happier with a little sand between our toes than with our feet stuffed into shiny shoes. We may or may not mind a bit of grime under our fingernails or a few tangles in our hair. This poetry collection addresses such stories in various styles, including rhyme and meter, a few scraps of free verse, an assortment of acrostics, a smattering of literary techniques, and a measure of wry wrinkles. Try these verses on for size.
Starlite Memories
South Africa's political cartoonist Dov Fedler had the opportunity in the 1980's to make a lifelong dream come true: directing a movie. Not that he had a clue how to - but he wasn't about to let that stop him. A laugh-out-loud story of pitfalls follows, one with a very serious language barrier and suspicions of criminal activity including one with a Mexican stand-off. Dov also has no idea the apartheid government is subsidizing the film he is directing. This memoir dives into pop culture past and present, and tales of real people who manage to be larger than life. It also gives a funny, moving portrait of Dov and his family vying to dictate what he can do with his life as a good Jewish son.
40 Weird Facts
40 Weird Facts is an essential handbook for all ages that can help change awkward silences into compelling conversations, transforming you into a witty and educated genius in any social situation. Both children AND adults will love the witty descriptions and the captivating illustrations while learning some fascinating facts at the same time. Did you know that seahorses are the slowest fish in the ocean? Or that male mice serenade females by singing? Or that some people have an irrational fear of ducks? And who knew that...-The weight of all ants equals the weight of all humans? - Some people have a fear of ducks? -There is a breed of domestic goat that faints when scared? The collection has been illustrated with creatures created from fruit and vegetables. Now that's WEIRD! For those who like to exercise the left AND right sides of the brain, this combination of facts and art is the perfect catalyst. In this collection of funny facts, our crazy world is re-told and beautifully illustrated by Sydney artist, Carrie Webster.
The Laws of Small Projects
Humorous, Wise, Literate and Short. The Laws of Small Projects postulates immutable laws about small projects that fill the gap in human understanding left by the sages Parkinson, Peter and Murphy half a century ago. With several droll cartoons, it illuminates what small projects can teach us about ourselves and the meaning of life. While never articulated until now, you innately know the truth of The First Law of Small Projects: THERE ARE NO SMALL PROJECTS. Inevitably-on purpose, by seduction, or hubris-you will take on a project that is beyond your competency-after all, there is nothing more exciting than working on a steep learning curve-but that's not a formula for quick, efficient, error-free results. Your project will take more time than you planned. You won't have all the parts or tools you need to get started. Sure, you could search your junk drawer, that ubiquitous repository of delayed decisions and unfulfilled promises, but that's a futile quest. Were you hoping that what you need would be spontaneously generated in that gallimaufry mess? It's inevitable; you will have to make at least one trip to the hardware store. And once you get started on your project, collateral damage is inescapable: the seductive danger of ladders, the certainty of paint spills, the risk of bonding your eyelids closed with super glue, and the dirty fingerprints left on your walls after you've put your tools away. In the sharp-edged busyness of our modern lives it's hard to relate to the wisdom of the ancient Zen proverb: chop wood, carry water. Those simple tasks have been relegated to a weekend at the cabin and long-bearded survivalists in plaid shirts. Life's simple pleasures are often overwhelmed by the tyranny of our to-do lists. Better to set aside time to Do Nothing, an age-old practice now gaining renewed popularity. Still, don't let the daunting realities of small projects hold you back. Like the mythical heroes of legend, be brave. Your larger more satisfied self can be found in the tasks you relish, those projects that stretch your competencies, where errors are opportunities for greater achievement, where time disappears. When you consider their potential to make your life more fulfilling, there are no small projects.
Loose Lips
From Simon & Schuster, Loose Lips is a collection of conversations, confidences, and confessions not meant for public consumption. Ever wanted to be that fly on the wall? To overhear, verbatim, the words of famous entertainers, distinguished politicians, princes, potentates, and petty criminals? Welcome to an eavesdropper's jamboree, where you can revel in the real, unexpurgated words of real people in all their astonishing, appalling, and hilarious entirely
Food and Whine
Hailed by many as Erma Bombeck's heir apparent, Jennifer Moses -- journalist, essayist, prizewinning short story writer, and mother of three -- brilliantly transforms the mundane into the hilarious in her no-holds-barred record of a year in the life -- and the kitchen -- of a modern-day mom. Writing about the year in which her twins were born, her mother was diagnosed with cancer, and her husband decided to change careers, Moses regales readers with funny anecdotes and gut-wrenchingly true pictures of the chaos and joys of family life. Capturing the essence of motherhood today in all of its complexities and contradictions, this true-to-life story (that reads like a novel) dares to say out loud what moms secretly think.
Uncorked & Off the Chain
2022 GOLD WINNER - HUMOR CATEGORY, IBPA BENJAMIN FRANKLIN AWARDSUncorked & Off the Chain delivers chops and attitude with zany cutting-edge opinion, observational humor, and tales from the wild side. No topic is off-limits, from sports, gambling, and edgy tales, to marriage, dogs, and mass consumption of cocktails. Short and snappy free-standing essays for those readers looking for a quick belly laugh."Benefits of yoga in order of importance: 1) flatulence prompting; 2) flexibility; 3) strength. Strike the downward dog pose and you'll be breaking wind like Gandhi. Namaste!" Jameson unveils plans for radically revamping the Olympics and pontificates on other pressing sports issues of the day. "It slays me when a golfer hits it close to the hole and the commentator says, 'Golly, he just hit a perfect shot.' Bull****. If the ball doesn't go in the hole, it isn't the perfect shot." He also rails against the establishment, has a keen eye for societal absurdities, and doles out sage man advice. "Why don't we have topless bars at airports?"
Sea Stories
Sea Stories: The Scuttlebutt ChroniclesBy: James WellsFrom people licking stripper booty in Spain to a guy burning himself while ironing his clothes with them still on his person. Imagine getting a new ID card and it's already expired or a fire truck that caught on fire while being repaired. There is never a dull moment. This book will have you laughing for days and looking around at the people you work with, wondering if they would put themselves in these same types of silly situations. So sit back, get comfortable, and grab a cup of joe as you embark on a hilarious journey through time visiting many places and people from all walks of life along the way. Just be thankful you don't do some of these wild and crazy things yourself...or do you?About the AuthorJames Wells is a fun-loving husband and dad of four. Originally from Baltimore, Maryland, he always tries looking for the good in people and making the best of his current situation as he looks at the positive and funny things life throws his way. He has traveled the world and experienced many situations in life that helped him grow into the person he is today.
Things I’ve Learnt Whilst Working in Hospitality
Alex never wanted to work in service. She hated everything about it. She hated the smell of bacon and eggs mixed with self-loathing and ennui. She hated the easy listening background music. She hated the spelling mistake in the menu describing pinot noir as 'pinot nior'. She hated stocking those stupid tiny mini bar fridges with their stupid tiny bottles and their stupid tiny perfectly aligned labels.When Alex compares herself to her much more respectful sounding classmates, she realises they're all embellishing their mundane jobs. She decides to give hospitality a go - but learns that survival of the industry starts with resilience. Be both entertained and informed in this raw and emotional, but also hilarious reflection of what really goes on behind the scenes in pubs, bars and restaurants.
Pissed Off
Australia has five million baby boomers. Seventy-one-year-old Michael Thornton is one of them. He is so pissed off about the state of things, he's listed 3,300 gripes.Among them: otherwise bright folk, from the PM down, who say 'amount' of people instead of 'number'Australia's richest person is said to earn $33,000 per minutebeing beaten at Scrabble by his Filipina mother-in-law, English being her second languageleaf blowerslowlife who put needles in fruit to try and kill usgreedwhen the pathology nurse says, with a deep sigh, 'Let's try your other arm!'Michelangelo didn't endow David a little more generouslythe link between his dentist's fees to extract his teeth, and the dentist's kids' school feeswanting to know if Dynamic Lifter works the same as Viagraasking for a friendthe exorbitant cost of building Australia's major roads: $155 per inch per lanewanting cave rescuers Drs Richard Harris and Craig Challen as joint Governors-Generalwill the in-studio panel on ABC TV Insiders ever drink the coffee?half a large pizza is never enoughnot knowing how to use most of the functions on his phonefive-year-olds, who get away with murderafter coronavirus, the millennials plan to do away with all remaining baby boomers
One Young Fool in Dorset
★ New York Times bestselling author ★ So how did it all begin? What happened before Victoria met Joe and they embarked on their crazy life in Spain? This light, airy and charming story is the delightful prequel to Victoria Twead's Old Fools series. Her childhood memories are vividly portrayed, leaving the reader chuckling and enjoying a warm sense of comfortable nostalgia. Photographs and recipes complement page after page of tales that burst with the rich vitality we have come to expect from Victoria Twead.The "Old Fools" series: Chickens, Mules and Two Old FoolsTwo Old Fools - Ole! Two Old Fools on a Camel Two Old Fools in Spain Again Two Old Fools in Turmoil Two Old Fools Down UnderOne Young Fool in Dorset (Prequel)One Young Fool in South Africa (Prequel) by Joe and Victoria TweadTwo Old Fools in the Kitchen (cookbook)
A Perfect Facebook Life
"A Perfect Facebook Life is a wild, hilarious, fun ride of a book, written with enormous vitality by AJ O'Connell. Her account of the extraordinary moments a youngish, okay-ish mom and spouse and working woman discovers in ordinary tasks will astonish you even as you nod in recognition, cheering on her wit. O'Connell has written one of those rare volumes: an authentically original book every reader will enjoy chronicling one woman's everyday survival--and her delightful triumph." --Gina Barreca, editor of Fast Funny Women and Distinguished Professor of English at UConn "These vignettes are as relatable as they are distinctly O'Connell: a chicken-tending, sci-fi reading, family-loving, funny feminist trying to make it out of the house with her pants on, or better yet, a pocketed skirt. She is the Facebook friend you've always wanted." --Alena Dillon, author of Mercy House and My Body Is A Big Fat Temple Welcome to A.J. O'Connell's A Perfect Facebook Life (but not her real one): a collection of poems, micro-fiction, and very short plays that started their lives as statuses. No, really. Explore the problem with small-town Facebook groups, how it feels to get to an age when you've got a Paying Taxes playlist on Spotify, and what it truly means to be the #WorldsOkayestMom with this short, funny take on modern domestic life.
I'll Never Be a Hand Model
From banjo-playing aliens and bikini waxes, to crushing on John Denver and men in tight football pants, Sarah Lemire has been entertaining readers for years with her award-winning humor columns. Collected here for the first time in I'll Never Be a Hand Model: and Other Stories I Tell My Therapist, these slice-of-life vignettes will have you laughing at Sarah's hilarious spin on her ordinary life. Dysfunctional family trips, sarcastic observations, and childhood blunders all tumble together with wit, charm, and a heaping dose of secondhand embarrassment.
Sure, I’ll Be Your Black Friend
It is a truthuniversally acknowledged that a good white person of liberal leanings must bein want of a Black friend.In the biting, hilarious vein of What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker and We Are Never Meeting in Real Life comes Ben Philippe's candid memoir-in-essays, chronicling a lifetime of being the Black friend (see also: foreign kid, boyfriend, coworker, student, teacher, roommate, enemy) in predominantly white spaces. In an era in which "I have many black friends" is often a medal of Wokeness, Ben hilariously chronicles the experience of being on the receiving end of those fist bumps. He takes us through his immigrant childhood, from wanting nothing more than friends to sit with at lunch, to his awkward teenage years, to college in the age of Obama, and adulthood in the Trump administration--two sides of the same American coin.Ben takes his role as your new black friend seriously, providing original and borrowed wisdom on stereotypes, slurs, the whole "swimming thing," how much Beyonc矇 is too much Beyonc矇, Black Girl Magic, the rise of the Karens, affirmative action, the Black Lives Matter movement, and other conversations you might want to have with your new BBFF.Oscillating between the impulse to be "one of the good ones" and the occasional need to excuse himself to the restrooms, stuff his mouth with toilet paper, and scream, Ben navigates his own Blackness as an "Oreo" with too many opinions for his father's liking, an encyclopedic knowledge of CW teen dramas, and a mouth he can't always control. From cheating his way out of swim tests to discovering stray family members in unlikely places, he finds the punchline in the serious while acknowledging the blunt truths of existing as a Black man in today's world.Extremely timely, Sure, I'll Be Your Black Friend is a conversational take on topics both light and heavy, universal and deeply personal, which reveals incisive truths about the need for connection in all of us.
Monkey Bread Business
Nature breeds new life with the sign of Spring in the air in Leavensport, Ohio, and Jolie and Ava find their new families' lives turned upside down! With properties in Leavensport beginning to sell, Nina Sanchez opened a bakery after purchasing the lot next to M&M's Italian restaurant. She is new to town and swears to Ava and Jolie she has no connection to the Dominican Republic Sanchez mafia family. Yet, Ava is skeptical, and this sends Jolie and Ava off on yet another investigation looking at how organized crime connects to their little village and the politics that surround it.Meanwhile, Nina Sanchez is not thrilled to feel obliged to cross-sell and become a full-fledged member of Leavensport, especially not with Jolie and Ava investigating her history. She has no choice when her son discovers a murdered homeless woman on the street on his way to deliver bread to the local shelter-it looks a lot like a mob hit and the reveal of who the homeless woman is will send all of Leavensport on alert making Jolie question the future of her town.Welcome to Leavensport, Ohio, where DEATH takes a DELICIOUS turn!
Around the World
Travel tales and random anecdotes from my years of global wandering for work and for pleasure. From interrailing across Europe to fighting Ebola in the Congo, stories and true-life tales of an artless Essex boy on the move.
Dust in the Sonbeam
Non-fiction characters(a Christian-an unbeliever-2 friends) 2 authors 2 narrators 1 mind in a non-fiction realm non- fiction events consuming daily life(past/present)from a trough of salmagundi salad tossed with -biblical-personal-spiritual-political-social-nostalgia-literary reference garnisment, squinting(Squint Clint)sporadically from the glare of fiction characters(called Italy & Ireland) in fiction realm and events consuming daily life...as the Son and the liar battle for dust and soul through the ministry of reconciliation.
Europe on a G-String
When three friends decide to throw caution to the wind, quit their full time jobs and travel through Europe for six months, they visualised an adventure they would never forget. And they weren't wrong! More than three decades later, they were still gas-bagging about the absurd situations they found themselves in. From Brisbane to London via the Greek Islands and other intoxicating European countries to boot, their looming escapade would become the topic of conversation for the rest of their lives. Chained to their dreary office desks since school, Brooke, Claire and Lucy had finally had enough of the corporate world. Existing like caged birds Monday to Friday was no longer an option. It was time for them to spread their dormant wings and take flight. Two Geminis and a Capricorn made an interesting travel combination, but when you're friends till the end, it doesn't matter what star sign you are, unless of course you're a Capricorn with Cancer rising and decide to give it all away in Venice, because you fear for your life. The road to Utopia was never meant to be easy, but when you're filled with hopes and dreams, who cares if you meet some oddballs along the way? From Greek Gods to Italian models. From a repulsive sex crazed Yugoslavian taxi driver, to an irresistible Serbian ex-con. From brushes with the Police in Venice to French thieves on the Metro in Paris, not to mention more than a few shady characters in between, this would certainly be a trip they would never forget. So if you're looking for fun under the European sun, not to mention some unabashed sex and romance to spice up your every day life, grab your passport, book a ticket and join us on our trip of a lifetime.
Totally Awful Dad Jokes
Tired of your Dad or Husband telling the same jokes over and over again? Or maybe you know a new Dad that needs to learn the art of delivering these amazing zingers?The "Totally Awful Dad Jokes" book is full of Jokes so Awful that they are actually really good! Punny Jokes, One-Liners, and funny laugh out loud or roll your eyes and groan Dad jokes for all to enjoy.★ Family Friendly: Clean, Cheesy Dad jokes for the whole family to enjoy★ Wide Selection: Classic Dad, knock knock, one-liners, punny jokes, and some Downunder jokes to keep any family entertained for hours.★ Illustrations: Unique drawings from a selection of jokes are throughout the book, adding that extra bit of humor.★ Perfect Gift: Forget the 2021 Dad Joke Calendar or the Dad mug or shirt! This Dad Joke book will last for years and years and makes the perfect Birthday, Christmas, or Holiday gift for Dads.Comedian Andre Francis, author of such books as Worlds Greatest Mom Jokes, 101 Saint Patrick's Day Jokes, Totally Amazing Christmas Jokes and The Best Knock, Knock Jokes for Kids bring us this new Joke book for Dads.Add to your Joke book collection today.
Out Of The Fez
Created over the course of 11 years, Out Of The Fez is a collection of plays written by Jeremiah Liend for the Out Of The Hat series of original plays produced by Greg Gasman. Each is a short comedy inspired by a random object, setting, and first line, written over a period of 12 hours or less. After a night of writing, performers stage the plays going from concept, to script, to performance in 24 hours. Each play is a unique place in time and space and a tribute to the dedicated artists who brought the performances to life.
Strangers Have the Best Candy
In STRANGERS HAVE THE BEST CANDY, full-time adventurer Margaret Meps Schulte casts caution to the wind, striking up conversations with laughing, crying, boozing, and topless strangers all over the USA and beyond. Their stories, and the resulting hijinks and friendships, are her candy, her rewards for breaking the rules about talking to strangers. Schulte's powerful narrative brings unlikely real people into the light, from Betty, the vivacious mayor of a small town in Newfoundland, to Boopsie, a skinny-dipping breast cancer survivor. The book features over 100 pen-and-ink illustrations of chance encounters, elusive and fleeting scenes that could never have been photographed. These humorous, heartwarming tales will inspire readers of all ages to talk to strangers and meet new people. Schulte shows us how to set aside fear and judgment to look for connection and serendipity in our own lives.
It’s Come to This
As New York becomes the world's hardest-hit city by the coronavirus, best-selling author and former New York Times columnist Laura Pedersen reports on how the populace is turned upside-down. Practically overnight millions of people went from living according to facts and figures to being at the mercy of fever and fate. It's Come to This chronicles the pandemic year as it unfolded, with every week bringing a new set of seemingly impossible challenges and contradictions. Pedersen explains how people became more interested in baby wipes than babies, and in board games over boardrooms, along with many other pandemic conundrums and curiosities, such as how the expressions "going viral" and "pass the Corona" would never sound the same.
Strangers Have the Best Candy
In STRANGERS HAVE THE BEST CANDY, full-time adventurer Margaret Meps Schulte casts caution to the wind, striking up conversations with laughing, crying, boozing, and topless strangers all over the USA and beyond. Their stories, and the resulting hijinks and friendships, are her candy, her rewards for breaking the rules about talking to strangers. Schulte's powerful narrative brings unlikely real people into the light, from Betty, the vivacious mayor of a small town in Newfoundland, to Boopsie, a skinny-dipping breast cancer survivor. The book features over 100 pen-and-ink illustrations of chance encounters, elusive and fleeting scenes that could never have been photographed. These humorous, heartwarming tales will inspire readers of all ages to talk to strangers and meet new people. Schulte shows us how to set aside fear and judgment to look for connection and serendipity in our own lives.
The Marvelous, the Grand, and the Most Wonderful Tea Party
Four farm animals have a tea party while the farmer and his wife are on vacation. But the animals are out for a surprise when their plans are interrupted.
All of my Anxieties Under One Cover
While this is undoubtedly and undeniably a book, and while it is full of words, it is not something one should, or could, traditionally read. I did not have enough time. Besides the title, dedication, table of contents, and acknowledgements, it is mostly full of the words "I do not have time for this." I wish I had had more time to write a book that was full of more than just those words. - James Earl Cox III
The Little French Lawyer (Esprios Classics)
The Little French Lawyer is a Jacobean era stage play, a comedy written by John Fletcher and Philip Massinger. It was initially published in the first Beaumont and Fletcher folio of 1647. Definite information on the play's date of authorship and early performance history is lacking. Scholars generally date the play to the 1619-23 period. The second Beaumont/Fletcher folio of 1679 provides a cast list for the play, which includes Joseph Taylor, Nicholas Tooley, John Lowin, William Ecclestone, John Underwood, Richard Sharpe, Robert Benfield, and Thomas Holcombe. This is the same cast of actors from the King's Men that the folio gives for The Custom of the Country and Women Pleased, plays that are thought to date from the same era.
Golf Jokes and Stories
"HILARIOUS! LOVED IT!""VERY FUNNY FOR THE SPORT I LOVE!"Are You Looking for a unique gift that will make any golfer laugh? Learn that life on the golf course is at times funnier than you can imagine. Original golf stories, insane golf course antics, hilarious advice, and tales that are amazingly creative and funny and a few that go beyond imagination.From the Facebook Group, "Golf Jokes, and Stories" (400,000+ followers), comes true humor from average golfers who are unbelievably funny and creative. And the crazy thing about this is that most of the hilarious situations are absolutely true!A great stocking stufferHilarious true life situations and crazy adviceAny golfer would love thisIt makes a great Holiday giftGreat gift book for any occasion!He'll love you for the laughs this original and unique book brings. Order it now!​​​​​​​Tags: sportsbook, sports gift, golf funny gifts, golf, golf humor, golf books for men, golf books for women, golf gifts for men, golf gifts for women.
The Social Psychology of Humor
This important new book provides a comprehensive analysis of humor from a social-psychological perspective, addressing questions about the use of humor and its effects in daily life.
A Weasel in the Works
Once again deep upon-a-time in a cold Alaskan semi-wilderness winter, a lonely light breaks a window ... It is the humble author, Ken S Green, up late with inspired fingertips fluttering quietly upon the keyboard ... For posterity and a brighter tomorrow, he plonks out adventurous words documenting the antics of our previously known Mr. Weasel. The cauldron bubbles another pot of tea and under the watchful eyes of household mousy critters, he puts another log on the fire ... Outside, the wind howls with the owls as branches snap, crackle and pop with catchy little tunes ...It is a very squirrelly time of year when Weasels yawn and dream dreams of snacks and nibbles ... There are many of these nibbles to be had and alluring possibilities beckon ... For instance, he wonders, "Is this a truly a house I see before me full of creaks and cracks and trails of crumbs?" There is only one way to find out and so, he must delve into new adventures ... He wonders if he is Weaselly enough for the job ahead ... Apparently so, for with a special card in paw, he makes a run and his activities continue to continue in this latest tail, Book Six of The Weasel Chronicles. Although our hero, Mr. Weasel, is well versed in his own species' aversion to what has been quietly referred to as "work", his instinct tells him there should be a Weasel in the Works somewhere, anyway. "It just stands to reason," he thinks to himself. It is obvious to the casual observer, of course, that this must be so, and so in this All-New Tail, Mr. Weasel races off to find his rightful place in the cosmos. After winning the Winning Card the door is open and off, he goes ... To where? Nobody knows ... Only reading will tell ... So, do not fail, just read this latest enthralling Tail of our magnificent Mr. Weasel, who was brilliantly introduced in Book One ... and memorably re-introduced in Books Two and Three and Four and Five ... is once more superbly re-re-introduced again in Book Six, A Weasel in the Works.
The Moston Diaries
Set against the pebble-dash, red brick and granite of a shotgun grey Manchester, The Moston Diaries is a grain of sand disappearing into the quick-sand of living. In this short-term memoir Caleb Everett raffles off a series of entries from his diaries; a love-letter to the cinematic whispers of suburbia, the all-knowing of Northern OAPs in gabardine and an anarchic account of a queer art scene where bitchery flies like confetti at a wedding. It's a tale both with and without narrative that's redefining the diary as a 21st Century literary moment.
