The Lighter Side of Life
[faint] Praise for THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE "These stories are absolutely hysterical, and the writing is top-notch. I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading them. Really, I can't. But we'll rally the fan base and alert the media!" -ANNE BRIDGES, Eigel's Fan Club President (and sole fan) "JEFF FOXWORTHY would have liked this book more than the first book had he read either of them." -Anonymous "Eigel is a prolific writer. But I was shocked he knocked my book, "How I Saved the World" off the New York Times #1 spot with this piece of ... toileture." -What JESSE WATTERS likely would have said had he read this book and it actually went to #1. "This is by far one of the best comedic books my son has ever written. But I still don't understand why so many of these stories have to have alcohol and bad words in them" -SUZANNE, Eigel's mom "I can't believe he wrote a second book! And now I'm one of the stupid chapters. He needs to get a real job... Anyone?" -MAUREEN, Eigel's wife About the Author Eigel grew up loving the likes of Lewis Grizzard and Paul Harvey and has a passion for the written word. Starting in 1996, he began writing an annual letter at Christmas to be the antithesis of the typical letters. A humorous picture, self-deprecating humor and sarcasm would be the impetus of his Christmas Epistle. Eventually the anecdotes were expounded into blog stories. After much prodding and pushing, the author refined, wrote and published those stories and many more in these first two books: Toileture Series-Book One and Toileture Series-Number Two. Look for the third in the series in late 2023. Anyone from Baby Boomer's to Millennial's, who appreciates sarcasm, will laugh out loud at the stories and often relatable life experiences.
How To Run a Company Into The Ground
Have you ever wondered why there are so many overpaid but completely incompetent people in high management positions? Did you ever shake your head in disbelief because of your manager's destructive decisions? Have you ever looked in awe as a market leaders waste their immaculate reputation in just few years? Search no more! The secret is out, 'their' manual is revealed to the public and available for all to learn from. How to run a company into the ground was a secret kept for decades from common people. Now you, your kids or even your dog can profit from it by starting a wrecker career on your own. Take a dive into some of the most precious advice available to man on how to ruin your company's future. Learn how to bury even biggest companies with 100% foolproof advice. And all of that without ever landing behind bars or getting any of the blame!
412 Monroe
Good times with good friends in Hoboken, NJ during the mid 1990s.
Why The Long Face? The Paper Trail
A couple of years ago I was asked to become a regular contributor to the radio show Why The Long Face? which is available on ICR 105.7FM and, of course, Worldwide on the Internet. This book is a collection of the best of my offerings. ****** "The charm of these vignettes is Philip Bryer's ability to quickly extract interest from the mundane and then to distil a major event such as life-saving chest surgery down to the bare facts. This book will not change your life but it should make you appreciate it more readily." James Partridge.
Actuarial Fairy Tales
The only, I mean, funniest actuarial fairy tale book in the world!Actuarial Fairy Tales is the result of fitting a statistical humour distribution to a dataset of well-known fairy tales after making some assumptions and unfounded extrapolations.Featuring a diversified portfolio of statistically scintillating stories, including: R-punzelThe Princess and the p-valueBeauty and the Beastly ActuaryRumpelSTATSkinGoldilocks and the 3 Bear Market AnalystsHypothesis tests show, at the 1% level, that this book is significantly funnier than being eaten by a wolf, locked in a tower or poisoned by an apple.The perfect bedtime reading for actuaries, data analysts, and financial analysts everywhere.** Guaranteed to send them to sleep.
Yes, I Smelled It Too! Volume 3
If you ever wondered what would happen if an author of graphically violent horror stories also drew cartoons? Not that many people would have this particular wonder, but if you ever did then you are about to have your curiosity satisfied. Thomas M. Malafarina, author of horror also enjoys creating single panel cartoons of a strange and bizarre nature, not for the typical daily newspaper cartoon reader but for those with a special, more discerning and macabre sense of humor. Annually he creates his own Christmas Holiday cards, which he sends to a select few of his closest friends. Most of who wait with anticipation, wondering just how far he will push the envelope of less than good taste each year. "Yes I Smelled It Too" is a collection of some of Thomas's favorite cartoons that he has drawn though the years. Some are strange, some are violent, some are ironic and some are just plain bizarre, but some of them will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. Who says horror can't be funny. (Well I guess just about everyone. Oh well.) So if after reading one of Thomas's horror stories, you find yourself in need of a little comic relief. Just pick up your copy of "Yes I Smelled It Too" and laugh your guts out; figuratively but not literally, please.
MennoFolk3
Ervin Beck's latest collection of folklore from Mennonite sources takes us into the world of oral storytelling, lifting material from informal exchanges between Mennonite speakers, giving us a "behind the scenes" and "off the record" glimpse of what Mennonites say about themselves and their cultural rivals, such as the Old Order Amish. These snippets of humor were collected mainly from middle-aged and older speakers. Beck notes that younger Mennonites rarely tell such stories, perhaps because their acculturation is more complete. Thus Beck's entertaining and insightful collection offers verbal snapshots of traditional Mennonites responding to cultural adaptation and change in the late 20th century.
The Brick of Dad Jokes
The Brick of Dad Jokes is the ultimate collection of puns, quips, and corny one-liners that is sure to get eyes rolling.Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! The Brick of Dad Jokes is an eye-rolling, groan-inducing collection of hundreds of jokes for the dad joke aficionado in your life. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.
A Maxim Map of Manhattan
A Maxim Map of Manhattan is a mosaic portrait of one of our planet's most iconic urban settings. Dense and teeming like the island borough it depicts, its pages form a collage of offbeat witticisms, concocted vignettes, and surreal social critiques grouped into thematic neighborhoods. Spinning an alternative and non-linear history, this parody of a tourist guide serenades its target locale's renegade spirit and offers up an ode of praise to its noted talent for reinvention. The book's fragmentary format spans an eclectic range of topics, including public art, global dialects, seasonal wardrobe, macroeconomics, civil engineering, and culinary trends on its overspilling menu. While Manhattan resists being truly captured by any single profile, several of its key features are productively distorted in this gallery of funhouse mirrors. A Maxim Map of Manhattan "maps" not by laying down grid lines of latitude and longitude, but by playfully assembling its pieces into a deliberately bottomless puzzle.
In Defense of Misfortune
I'm invited into people's lives a lot less than my archnemesis Lady Fortune-I'd go as far as to say I'm never invited with all the confetti cannons, glasses of champagne, and fanfare reserved especially for her. But don't get me wrong. I play a unique role, and deliver what my archrival could never deliver. A little compassion, a whole lot of strength, and a great deal of forgiveness are inspired by the misadventures sent by me. I shift perspectives like nothing else on earth can. So I'm not without value here. I'll safely bet your long-held perceptions about me will change when you dig deeper into my soul in In Defense of Misfortune.
Soliloquy
Everybody starts writing at some time in his life, career or peregrinations (if he or she is lucky enough to be travelling the world). I am, (both: writing from time to time and travelling the world), but at times what I write does not fit in anything I might have started that would be a book of memoirs (I might be considered too young), or essay (maybe not enough of a writer to do that), and so the things I happen to write in the "spirit of the moment" end up on a piece of paper, a "post-it-note" (you know, the little sticky yellow things) or I just forget about it. This compilation is (supposedly) the gathering of those lost thoughts and a little more. Some are or will be relevant to those who happen to have lived "the moment" with me (hi there, thought you'd never hear about me anymore hey?) some are just good for any time or situation. As usual, what you will make out of it is entirely up to you.
Fuckery
Fuckery is a collection of true stories about one woman's wonderful, dysfunctional, and deeply loving family. A celebration of family in all forms-the family you're born with and the family you choose. In the spirit of David Sedaris, Carrie Fisher, and Sloane Crosley, Harrington finds the humor embedded in every moment of life-even the most painful ones. From the Catholic daughter who desperately wants a Jewish menorah for Christmas to the author's reckoning with her family's lineage of addiction and alcoholism, Harrington's debut memoir is a moving, rollicking journey that leaves you laughing and crying and probably both at once.
Yes, I Smelled It Too! Volume 2
If you ever wondered what would happen if an author of graphically violent horror stories also drew cartoons? Not that many people would have this particular wonder, but if you ever did then you are about to have your curiosity satisfied. Thomas M. Malafarina, author of horror also enjoys creating single panel cartoons of a strange and bizarre nature, not for the typical daily newspaper cartoon reader but for those with a special, more discerning and macabre sense of humor. Annually he creates his own Christmas holiday cards, which he sends to a select few of his closest friends. Most of who wait with anticipation, wondering just how far he will push the envelope of less than good taste each year. "Yes I Smelled It Too" is a collection of some of Thomas's favorite cartoons that he has drawn though the years. Some are strange, some are violent, some are ironic and some are just plain bizarre, but some of them will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. Who says horror can't be funny. (Well I guess just about everyone. Oh well.) So if after reading one of Thomas's horror stories, you find yourself in need of a little comic relief. Just pick up your copy of "Yes I Smelled It Too" and laugh your guts out; figuratively but not literally, please.
Yes, I Smelled It Too! Volume 1
If you ever wondered what would happen if an author of graphically violent horror stories also drew cartoons? Not that many people would have this particular wonder, but if you ever did then you are about to have your curiosity satisfied. Thomas M. Malafarina, author of horror also enjoys creating single panel cartoons of a strange and bizarre nature, not for the typical daily newspaper cartoon reader but for those with a special, more discerning and macabre sense of humor. Annually he creates his own Christmas holiday cards, which he sends to a select few of his closest friends. Most of who wait with anticipation, wondering just how far he will push the envelope of less than good taste each year. "Yes I Smelled It Too" is a collection of some of Thomas's favorite cartoons that he has drawn though the years. Some are strange, some are violent, some are ironic and some are just plain bizarre, but some of them will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. Who says horror can't be funny. (Well I guess just about everyone. Oh well.) So if after reading one of Thomas's horror stories, you find yourself in need of a little comic relief. Just pick up your copy of "Yes I Smelled It Too" and laugh your guts out; figuratively but not literally, please.
Pseudo Quotes
This book offers something new and unique: a selection of quotations from books that never existed, by authors who never lived. These imagined fragments present insight, wit, obscurity, double entendre, hilarity, and more. Thematically, the book touches upon everything under the sun-life, love, work, play, art, music, dream, knowing and not knowing, tradition, utopia, old movies, ads, the Elizabethans (!), the Internet, loss. This tome may be picked up and dabbled in profitably at any time of day!
Childhood in a Sachet
A collection of witty, humorous, and relatable tales along with a poetry collection 'Yara' set out to engage every last man standing. The author manages to invoke emotions through the use of simple words and narration style. A perfect companion for your short commutes and relaxing evenings.
Changing My Mind
Changing My Mind: Reinventing Myself In Retirement examines the transition from career to retirement from every angle. Each year, approximately 4 million people in the United States retire. Many of these people prepare financially for this major life event, but do not adequately prepare for the emotional and social impact of retiring. It can be stressful to cope with the changes retirement brings. At a time when we expected to be happy and relaxed, we can find ourselves struggling to come up for air. Further increasing the degree of difficulty, many people tackle secondary or related changes in their lives at the same time as they retire. Retirees often relocate. Retirees often become caregivers for loved ones. Retirees often find their relationships change. Retirees often wonder how to have a fulfilling, satisfying life after leaving the workforce. With all this major metamorphosis whipping around in our brains, it is no wonder that retiring can feel a bit like stepping into a violent change tsunami. Changing My Mind grapples with all these challenges and more. Dorry Curran provides a perspective on coping with the retirement transition that is often humorous, sometimes poignant... and unfailingly practical.
As the Pretzel Rolls
Extraordinary turns of event from inside the walls of a pretzel shop!Pat Long's pretzel shop, Pretzel Land, is in the heart of Amish Country and puts her in contact with all sorts of people on a daily basis. Some are the salt of the earth (no pun intended) and others get all tied up in knots (OK, pun intended) being less than nice.From the hilarious (Amish hip-hop dancer, anyone? Or how about the four-year-old who sang along with Queen's "Fat Bottom Girls"?) to the absurd (such as a guest who thinks she possesses the power of invisibility)--and all the cases of mistaken identity and foul-mouthed customers in between--this book paints a lively picture of humankind at its best and worst. Some of these anecdotes will make you laugh, others will make you groan, and a few may just give your tear ducts a workout. So, sit back with your favorite snack (Would you like some cheese dip with that? How about a lemonade?) and enjoy these missives from deep inside her Pretzel Land! Pat was born in Baltimore, but eventually made her way to Central Pennsylvania and settled in for many years. After graduating in 1992 from Lycoming College with a degree in English and a New Testament Greek minor (yeah, very useful) she dedicated her early career to social services. Pat worked for Special Olympics Pennsylvania for a decade, overseeing volunteers all over the state and really hitting on her passion for sports and her compassion for the developmentally disabled. She married her partner in 2008 and began working for the American Cancer Society as a patient services advocate. In 2011, it was time to make a change, and she purchased a pretzel store in sleepy little Berks County, Pennsylvania.
And The Band Played On
]Sharktooth, Massachusetts is a seaside resort town situated on the elbow to Cape Cod. Although no stranger to eccentrics, the year-rounders in this tight little town never find it in their hearts to accept as one of their own, pretentious, English-accented, Pemberton Poindexter Plushbottom, aka Triple P. One might have expected the fact that on several occasions tourists were known to have mistaken Triple P for Teddy Roosevelt would count for something. So what if when making this observation these same tourists were suspected of being under the influence of a controlled substance? Instead of gaining the respect he deserves, Triple P is generally regarded as a pompous ass. Of no help is the fact that his mother, Agnes Pinkney Plushbottom, is a squeaky-voiced, prune-faced former Vegas pole dancer. Nor that Triple P was conceived during a debauched one night stand with a travelling salesman from Cottonwood Falls, Kansas-a travelling salesman that from the trunk of his car peddled his "One-Look-And-You're-Hooked" line of French pantyhose to all comers. For twenty odd years, Lord and Lady Plushbottom, as the year-rounders disparagingly refer to Triple P and his mother, have occupied the decaying North Sharktooth estate Lady Pinkerton inherited from a rich Boston uncle. Behind their walled enclosure, Triple P spends his days and nights searching for the shortest route to fame and fortune, until, at last, he hits upon the idea of a theme park featuring a great white shark. Convinced that a theme park is completely out of character for a small New England town founded in 1654, the year-rounders are publicly repulsed by the idea. Nor have Triple P's local fundraising efforts produced any concrete results. The only available source of financing for his grandiose scheme turns out to be Guido Bonaccorso, a pawnbroker and made member of the Mafia from the North End of Boston, thus, setting Triple P on a collision course with the Feds and the year-rounders. And therein lies the tale.
Are You Crazy? Because I Am Out of My Mind!!
Let me ask you a few questions before you buy this book; are you a touch of crazy, just a little crazy, full blown crazy. full on fuller blown crazy or "holly shit get off the road!" crazy? If you are any of these or suffer from PTSD alone, this is the right book for you! I have been diagnosed with PTSD, All us that has some sort of it. How could you not? This crazy world we live in is chalk full of it from how you where raised or not raised. religion to politics to abuse. I am sure there is a lot of traumatizing things in your life or even hearing what happens in others
Killing Tom
Meet Walter and Jack. Two lazy, shiftless roommates without a long-term game-plan for life. Spending their days eking out a living and getting their thrills where they can, it was a comfort knowing that Walter's mother would eventually leave Walter a substantial inheritance. When it is discovered that her boyfriend Tom has embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars from his law firm and is slowly going insane, Walter and Jack realize their dream of financial security is in serious danger. When things become desperate, they come to the realization they have only one recourse - Killing Tom. From a Facebook post by the author: "Every other word out of the two heroes' mouths is an f-bomb, they abuse drugs and alcohol with abandon, one is in love with what may or may not be a transvestite, they want to kill an insane bloodthirsty attorney who wears women's lingerie and thinks he's an Apache and there is a hyperactive sheepdog. That's right, 'Killing Tom' goes to press."
Quarry Grove the Crusty Pie from Mars
The first story is about Hicky the Caterpillar attempting (for the third time) to become a butterflyHe applies to the B.A.U.C Butterfly's Association of Unwinged Caterpillars. Percy Veerence' s invents a parachute that helps Hicky gain a three day trial period from the B.A.U.C. However, Eddy Kray and Boris the Spider kidnap Hicky and use the invention to steal the Ugly Ball trophies from Log Hall. Plenty of silliness throughout the story as in all the Quarry Grove stories.
Twelfth Night, The Film Musical
Twelfth Night is a comic romp about mistaken identities, gender issues, class inequalities, deception and illusion, and the true nature of love. A shipwreck causes identical twins Viola and Sebastian to think each other dead, and the hilarious hijinks start from there. With twenty-four songs (nineteen original by the author), and beautifully exalting poetry and lyrics, Love breathes anew in this masterful romantic sendup of humanity.
Solutions and Other Problems
INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Allie Brosh--beloved author and artist of the extraordinary #1 New York Times bestseller Hyperbole and a Half--returns with a long-awaited collection of "hilarious and slyly poignant" (People), autobiographical, illustrated essays. Solutions and Other Problems includes humorous stories from Allie Brosh's childhood; the adventures of her very bad animals; merciless dissection of her own character flaws; incisive essays on grief, loneliness, and powerlessness; as well as reflections on the absurdity of modern life. "No one sums up the hilarity, devastation, and bizarreness of life quite like comic artist and blogger Allie Brosh" (NPR). This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features all-new material with more than 1,600 pieces of art. Solutions and Other Problems marks the return of a beloved American humorist who has "the observational skills of a scientist, the creativity of an artist, and the wit of a comedian" (Bill Gates).
Memoirs of the Happy Lesbian Housewife 2
"Memoirs Of The Happy Lesbian Housewife 2 - Weddings And Dogs And Kids, Oh My!" is a true and funny collection of stories that will make you feel really good about your own relatively normal life. Lorraine lets you in on her crazy existence with Sweetie and her family and hopes it is much different than yours...or you are nuts too. There is something seriously wrong with Lorraine as she lives her life so much differently than others...at least I hope she does. She will make you laugh, cry and blush. There are no holds barred as she exposes her sweet kids in all their embarrassing glory as well as her long-suffering Sweetie who hates when her books come out. Sweetie and the kids are in hiding right now as they are truly embarrassed that she holds nothing back. Come to think of it, Lorraine is in hiding too. Laugh along with others with this no holds barred book of hysterical collections of stories.
The Lies that Were Never Told
The Lies that Were Never ToldBy: Diana MarteThe Lies that Were Never Told is a humorous declaration of thoughts about men, especially when they lie about their ways of approaching women. This comical sarcastic book will make you laugh and think of some of the ways that men approach women.About the AuthorDiana Marte is a grandmother living in Florida. She has a bachelor's degree in Criminal Justice from Florida Metropolitan University and currently works in security. She loves to read and one day hopes to take on gardening, and she also enjoys the pleasure of her grandchildren's company.
The Great Third World Knicker War
Second floor tour Eiffel around a big oak round table sit Eisenhower King Cnut King Arthur James the first Elizabeth the first Sir Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery Lady Jane Nicholasses I and II St Nicholas Stanley Proudfoot Field Marshall Erwin Rommel Brigadier Blinkinstopp Major General Johnny Walker Nelson Higginsbottom and Aphrodite. They all eat oranges and sign in turn. The great peace treaty. Seven white doves are released peace at last.
Me & Jo and a Black Cat named Tupelo
Tupelo is a name for many things: a town in Mississippi where Elvis Presley was born, a tree with Native American origin, a particular type of sweet honey, schools, restaurants, etc. In the case of Tupelo, the black Norwegian forest cat, the name refers to the owner's favorite alternative country music group - Uncle Tupelo.When I met Tupelo, he was anything but sweet like honey. He was grumpy and frumpy with a noticeably short temper. This short rhyming story is about how he, and I changed with time. It's proven that the simple acts of love and attention transform both humans and animals.Throughout history, black cats have been surrounded by both good and bad superstitions. In some countries a black cat indicates prosperity, while in others, they're considered bad omens. However, the bad omen myth is shattered with my tale of transformation.Enjoy.
Jolly Jokers of the Town of Johns
The subjects of the book were all influential men in the area. The book itself must have been quite expensive. It was hardbound with a leather spine. Each of the caricatures is printed on a single page of high-grade paper. As this was an important book for the community, the artists must have been held in high esteem in their newspapers to have been selected for this assignment. This was the first book published of Arch Bristow's (1882-1964) work; he was working at the Johnstown Tribune. By the time this book was published in 1907, Arch had created the "Zimmie," an owl character that appears in each of his caricatures, delivering a punch line. Arch would go on to national syndication with the Zimmie character; then, in 1920, he began self-publishing the Hay Rake Magazine, which also earned him fame. It was also likely that this was the first book of E. F. (Edward Frank) Mack (1881-1935). The Johnstown Democrat newspaper employed him. He used the dog character to deliver the punch line in his caricatures. I did not see the dog in his later works, so that it may have just been a local feature. He would go on to fame as the ghost cartoonist for Mutt and Jeff and several other cartoons under his name. From E. F. Mack's signature, he started penning the sketches in 1906 and continued into 1907. I assume Arch would also have started in 1906 to have enough drawings ready for publication in 1907. Ludwig Henning (1876-1949) of the Johnstown Journal drew a couple of caricatures. He listed himself as an engraver and commercial artist and did not publish other cartons. Ludwig used a bird for his punch lines. The original book did not have a cover page, so several sketches were combined to create a cover with the artist's signatures.
Are Bisexuals Just Greedy?
Amazon #1 Bestseller in: Gay StudiesTransgender StudiesMen, Women, & Relationships HumorLGBTQ+ Parenting & FamiliesHow is gender identity different from sexual orientation? Do our genitals predict our gender? Why is it important to use a person's correct pronouns? Fiona Dawson (she/her) answers these questions and more in her candid picture book for people old enough to swear and talk about sex, Are Bisexuals Just Greedy?. For thousands of years, cultures around the world have had a concept of gender and sex as being nonbinary. With humor and wit, Dawson offers a direct and uncomplicated explanation of terms within the LGBTQ+ community for anyone curious to know more about gender and sexuality.
Where’s My Wine Glass?!
Where's My Wine Glass?!, Getting Your Kid to College Without Losing Your Mind is a frolicking collection of humorous essays for parents of children who are prepping for, leaving for, or attending college. As a long-time college coach, private tutor, and parent of two failure-to-launch college graduates, Linda Presto's sarcastic voice, no-nonsense tone, and years of experience deliver a much-needed respite from the insanity and competition of acceptance to college. Parents in this stage need a laugh and some straight talk about the process and its pitfalls. Linda is a self-deprecating, yet knowledgeable narrator, who takes parents on a journey through the highlight reel of what they hope will end in smarter kids... and less laundry. Addressing subjects like college visits, university rankings, and empty nest syndrome, Linda's personal accounts and anecdotes from years of working with students and parents shed light on the universal nature of rearing children and the parents who only want the best for them. That and they want them off their couch!
Aloada's SHI T FACTORY
There are 31 days in December, each of which holds fond memories for a man named Memrie. Come along and watch the story unfold, in the many adventures of Prickly Pole. Aloada's Shirt Factory, is a grown-up Christmas story for the little child in you, and yes, in me too. So, you want something unique and different, right? This is it. It's Prickly pole's story, and it's a bit sick. "Aloada's Shirt depot" is a story to go because it's a short story. A Christmas Tale to warm the heart. Told in wry humor, metaphoric terms, and a feeble attempt at poetry. Yes, we have a way with words, so. word-play is the order of the day around here too. With snippets of Jamaican Patois inserted here and there throughout, as may be found fitting. Yeah man, a Jamaica yaad mi cum from, sorry, I meant to say, I'm Jamaican born and bred -okay?
The Perfect Kiss
"This kiss injects body-numbing magic through your veins while stealing your ability to think (see #9)." Within this fun, instructional (and often steamy) relationship and how-to-be-a-good-kisser guidebook, you'll find romantic ideas and a bit of everything else, from sweet, small kisses (see #44) to self-worth and intimacy exploration (see #21) to off-the-charts, mind-numbing lip-locks (#38), all in the form of kissing and perhaps, just a bit more. This fun book is perfect for: All GendersYou and Your Partner!Weddings and ShowersAnniversaries & BirthdaysValentine's DayRelationship SupportContinual LearningParty fun & "Tell-All" Stories!Hot Sizzling Nights Includes consent and safety information, as well as suggestions for using this guidebook and a checklist for trying out and rating the kisses inside. Read the kisses aloud with your partner, trying one kiss a day for ten days (or fifty!) If you don't have a partner right now, prepare for one. Something magical may happen...
Friends to Keep in Art and Life
From the author of the bestselling ballbuster Men to Avoid in Art and Life comes Friends to Keep in Art and Life, a hilarious and relatable celebration of female friendships. Pairing classical paintings with funny, irreverent captions, Nicole Tersigni honors all sorts of sacred female friendships and the miscellaneous nonsense that brings women closer together. Focusing on five major friend types (the Work Friend, the Nurturing Friend, the Hide a Body for You Friend, the Up for Anything Friend, and the Super Honest Friend), Tersigni's meme-style humor perfectly captures all of the weird-but-special, intimate, cherished, and often laugh-out-loud moments that define female friendship. BESTSELLING AUTHOR: Nicole Tersigni broke the Internet with her first book, the hit success Men to Avoid in Art and Life based on her hysterical Twitter feed. Still packed with the same whip-smart humor, Friends to Keep in Art and Life celebrates wholesome female friendships in a loving way. THE PERFECT GIFT: Friends to Keep in Art and Life covers the many different types of female friendships, making it the perfect present for any pal in your life! Whether they're your work wife, drinking buddy, or bluntly honest bestie, there's something for everybody in this book. No matter the gifting moment--birthdays, holidays, or "just because" days--it's a surprise that's sure to make them laugh! RELATABLE CONTENT: These universal kinds of friendships will delight any pal you gift it to! This book sparks nostalgic banter and will have you and your friends reminiscing in no time. Perfect for: Art history enthusiastsMeme loversFans of shows like Golden Girls, Broad City, and GirlsThose who loved Men to Avoid in Art and Life
Snapshots
Snapshots is a collection of experiences from Phil Bauer's many years as a flight attendant. There are no discernible connections between the stories other than the fact that they recount true events, randomly organized, much like the way they occurred in life and in time.Some of the entries are just jokes, while others resemble little stories. They are not meant solely for other flight attendants, but rather for people and passengers who may wish to gain insights into what this occupation can really be like. You will see that it is more than serving drinks and pointing to where the doors are.
The (Not So) Hairsterical Life of A Nappy-Headed Black Girl
Good hair, bad hair, what the hair is going on? They say it's supposed to be a woman's crowning glory, but for Jackie, a young, black girl from the deep South, it is everything but! Growing up black and female is tough enough, but coupled with coping with a head full of nappy hair in a world made up of people consumed by ignorance who would soon rather mock her existence simply because they don't understand it-well that's another demon altogether. The (not so) Hairsterical Life of a Nappy-Headed Black Girl follows the life of Jackie, its main character, who is exceedingly self-aware of her hair from the age of three through adulthood. Jackie will try just about any kind of shenanigans from wigs and braids to hair-scorching relaxers to find the answer to having the "good hair" that will somehow make her good enough. Throughout her futile hair journey, the many people she faces, both within and outside of her race, along with her many hair challenges force her to learn important lessons about life. The question is will she use them to accept herself as she is or become a bitter, angry black woman in a never-ending battle to fit into societal norms.
On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down
SH!T HAPPENS. AGAIN.The SECOND VOLUME of the hilarious, irreverent guide to world history you never knew you needed, featuring 366 MORE profanity-filled tales of triumph and terror, science and stupidity, courage and cowardice. Those who cannot remember the past . . . need a history teacher who says "f*ck" a lot.That famous photo of the Loch Ness Monster was faked as an act of revenge against The Daily Mail. Before "Scotty" saved the starship Enterprise a bunch of times, future actor James Doohan stormed the beaches at Normandy to help save the world from Nazis and he got shot to sh!t. Originally known as "Napalm Girl," Thị Kim Ph繳c survived, escaped to Canada, and now helps child victims of war. The first pride parade was inspired by the New York Stonewall Riots, when the LGBTQ+ community fought back against police oppression. When Trump lost the 2020 election, his lapdog lawyer Rudy Giuliani held a press conference at Four Seasons Landscaping, located between a crematorium and a porn store. In seventeenth century Italy, when divorce was not at all a thing, hundreds of women married to abusive husbands employed Giulia Tofana to poison them. I簽upiat woman Ada Blackjack, and her cat, survived in the remote Arctic for two years when all the men on the expedition died ...If reading history doesn't make you want to swear like a mom with a red-wine hangover walking barefoot through a LEGO-filled living room, then you're not reading the right history. Across the ages, over 100 billion humans have lived and died. Some were motivated by greed, others by generosity. Many dedicated themselves to the art of killing, while others were focused on curing. There have been grave mistakes, and moments of greatness. And that is why . . . sh!t happens. Every day.
Giggles Galore
Family fun-fill book of jokes and riddles for ages 8-88. Animal, food, sports, holiday, and just plain old humor on every page. Over three hundred side-splitting jokes will keep your child entertained for hours, with the added bonus of a hilarious short story at the end.
What If? 2
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! An NPR Best Book of 2022 "The questions throughout What If? 2 are equal parts brilliant, gross, and wonderfully absurd and the answers are thorough, deeply researched, and great fun. . . . Science isn't easy, but in Munroe's capable hands, it surely can be fun." --TIMEThe #1 New York Times bestselling author of What If? and How To answers more of the weirdest questions you never thought to ask The millions of people around the world who read and loved What If? still have questions, and those questions are getting stranger. Thank goodness xkcd creator Randall Munroe is here to help. Planning to ride a fire pole from the Moon back to Earth? The hardest part is sticking the landing. Hoping to cool the atmosphere by opening everyone's freezer door at the same time? Maybe it's time for a brief introduction to thermodynamics. Want to know what would happen if you rode a helicopter blade, built a billion-story building, made a lava lamp out of lava, or jumped on a geyser as it erupted? Okay, if you insist. Before you go on a cosmic road trip, feed the residents of New York City to a T. rex, or fill every church with bananas, be sure to consult this practical guide for impractical ideas. Unfazed by absurdity, Munroe consults the latest research on everything from swing-set physics to airliner catapult-design to answer his readers' questions, clearly and concisely, with illuminating and occasionally terrifying illustrations. As he consistently demonstrates, you can learn a lot from examining how the world might work in very specific extreme circumstances.
Old Geezer's Dictionary of Irritants. From Aaaah to Zoo, over a thousand annoying aspects of British life
All day, every day we're surrounded by things that annoy us. So it's surprising we've had to wait until now for a reasonable list. Speaking up for irritated people all over Britain, the Old Geezer's Dictionary of Irritants points a decisive finger at offenders, with both gusto and humour.
The Coming Of Bill
NEW PRINT WITH PROFESSIONAL TYPE-SET IN CONTRAST TO SCANNED PRINTS OFFERED BY OTHERS The Coming Of Bill This book is a result of an effort made by us towards making a contribution to the preservation and repair of original classic literature. In an attempt to preserve, improve and recreate the original content, we have worked towards: 1. Type-setting & Reformatting: The complete work has been re-designed via professional layout, formatting and type-setting tools to re-create the same edition with rich typography, graphics, high quality images, and table elements, giving our readers the feel of holding a 'fresh and newly' reprinted and/or revised edition, as opposed to other scanned & printed (Optical Character Recognition - OCR) reproductions. 2. Correction of imperfections: As the work was re-created from the scratch, therefore, it was vetted to rectify certain conventional norms with regard to typographical mistakes, hyphenations, punctuations, blurred images, missing content/pages, and/or other related subject matters, upon our consideration. Every attempt was made to rectify the imperfections related to omitted constructs in the original edition via other references. However, a few of such imperfections which could not be rectified due to intentional\unintentional omission of content in the original edition, were inherited and preserved from the original work to maintain the authenticity and construct, relevant to the work. We believe that this work holds historical, cultural and/or intellectual importance in the literary works community, therefore despite the oddities, we accounted the work for print as a part of our continuing effort towards preservation of literary work and our contribution towards the development of the society as a whole, driven by our beliefs. We are grateful to our readers for putting their faith in us and accepting our imperfections with regard to preservation of the historical content. HAPPY READING!
The Comic English Grammar
NEW PRINT WITH PROFESSIONAL TYPE-SET IN CONTRAST TO SCANNED PRINTS OFFERED BY OTHERS The Comic English Grammar: A New And Facetious Introduction To The English Tongue. This book is a result of an effort made by us towards making a contribution to the preservation and repair of original classic literature. In an attempt to preserve, improve and recreate the original content, we have worked towards: 1. Type-setting & Reformatting: The complete work has been re-designed via professional layout, formatting and type-setting tools to re-create the same edition with rich typography, graphics, high quality images, and table elements, giving our readers the feel of holding a 'fresh and newly' reprinted and/or revised edition, as opposed to other scanned & printed (Optical Character Recognition - OCR) reproductions. 2. Correction of imperfections: As the work was re-created from the scratch, therefore, it was vetted to rectify certain conventional norms with regard to typographical mistakes, hyphenations, punctuations, blurred images, missing content/pages, and/or other related subject matters, upon our consideration. Every attempt was made to rectify the imperfections related to omitted constructs in the original edition via other references. However, a few of such imperfections which could not be rectified due to intentional\unintentional omission of content in the original edition, were inherited and preserved from the original work to maintain the authenticity and construct, relevant to the work. We believe that this work holds historical, cultural and/or intellectual importance in the literary works community, therefore despite the oddities, we accounted the work for print as a part of our continuing effort towards preservation of literary work and our contribution towards the development of the society as a whole, driven by our beliefs. We are grateful to our readers for putting their faith in us and accepting our imperfections with regard to preservation of the historical content. HAPPY READING!
The Timeless Time Machine
The Timeless Time Machine is adult satirical literature featuring adult language and adult situations. The setting is London, England, 1899, at the turn of a new century, and the exciting advances of science and technology are dominant in the minds of people throughout the Western World. Herbert George Wells (1866-1946) was born in England, and by the turn of the century, became one of the Founding Fathers of science fiction. Wells' most famous novels are The Time Machine, War of the Worlds and The Invisible Man, which were written and published between 1895 and 1905. H.G. Wells was a great student of history, and loved thinking about mankind's ultimate destiny. In his stories, H.G. Wells often tells through his characters what he believes is wrong with civilization, so that's why the author never ran out of characters for his popular novels. By mentally taking his readers into the future, Herbert George Wells skillfully demonstrates exactly where the human race would be evolving unless science, culture and emotional growth change their present courses. The Timeless Time Machine is a new adult-oriented satirical version of H.G. Wells' short classic novel, The Time Machine.
A Farmer’s Lot
Roger Evans, everyone's favourite dairy farmer, is back with his daily account of rural life, full of laughter, grumbles and witty observations about what makes life tick in the real countryside.From his own farmyard, or looking down on his village from his tractor or on a stool in the local bar, Roger tells it like it is.
Ali’s Well That Ends Well
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERBestselling author Ali Wentworth offers a comedic look at family, friendship, and lessons learned during the Covid-19 pandemic in her new collection of laugh-out-loud comic vignettes.Like many, Ali Wentworth spent the pandemic seesawing between highs, lows, and baking an unnecessary amount of chocolate cake. Between binging every tv show in existence to conquering TikTok to becoming a (semi) empty-nester, Ali experienced her share of turmoil (including an early case of Covid), but she also grew a little, learned a lot, and found comfort in some unexpected people and places.In Ali's Well That Ends Well, Wentworth turns her gimlet eye to the year no one saw coming. With her signature irreverent style, she shares the most hysterical, absurd, and sometimes trying episodes that her family endured during the terrible global pandemic. Thoroughly relatable, absolutely charming, and filled with moments both hilarious and poignant, this terrific collection once again showcases the comedic genius of a beloved star who is "the girlfriend you want to have a glass of wine with, the one who makes you laugh because she sees the funny and the absurd in everything" (Huffington Post).
