Leca Diaries Volume 2
Dr Andrew Evans and his wife Linda live in a secluded hameau in the South of France. Back for his second edition and by popular demand, Andrew recounts the times of village life in the Pyr矇n矇es during lockdown.
The Words of Uncovered Genius
This book will help uncover the mysteries of the universe for all those who want to seek the truth.
Tales of Two Ginger Tabby Cats
Fourteen fun- packed tales of two ginger tabby cats and how they live with humans! Cat lovers-or should I say Cat slaves! will recognise their behaviours and mannerisms!
Hilarious Things That Kids Say
How do old people die? I can't watch Flubber! There's too much animosity! I can't use my kite! The wind isn't working today. You didn't tell me clouds move? What else haven't you told me? I want to become a scientist so I can pick up chicks. I broke my milk! I don't like Darth Vader. He's just... too tall. I got salmonella from a creme egg. Voldemort doesn't have a nose. That means he can't sneeze. EVER! When I grow up, I want to be a tiger. I'm so hungry, I could eat a large portion of food! Saturn is my favourite planet because he has a hula hoop. My Mummy never drinks and drives. She only drinks when she is stuck in traffic.
Words That Need to Exist in English
There are so many great words in different languages which have never become a part of the English vocabulary. Here a few examples - Backpfeifengesicht - a face in desperate need of a fist Kabelsalat - an entanglement of wires (cable salad) Sitzfleisch - to tolerate incredible boring activities Jayus - a joke that is funny because it is so badly told Drachenfutter - the gift a man gives to a woman to make up for his mistake Tartle - the moment when you have to introduce somebody and you realise you forgot his or her name Kummerspeck - eat out of emotion (grief bacon) Age-otoi - to look worse after a haircut Packesel - the person who is stuck with everyone's bag on a trip Mokita - the truth that everyone knows but nobody says Pochemuchka - a person who asks too many questions
I'Mmoral
What would the war cry of a mostly introverted, mentally ill, autistic, genderqueer, physically disabled, feminist, atheist, polyamorous woman sound like? A lot like this. Using a combination of essay and free-form poetry, R.K. confronts the status quo and dissects it, inspecting its parts and discarding the bad bits. In spite of tackling some obviously serious and controversial topics, such as abortion and the anti-vaccination movement, she approaches her subjects with humour and then slaughters them with equal parts derision and kindness.
500 Things People Believe That Aren't True
Genetically modified food existed since the Stone Age. We have no idea what Ancient Egyptians looked like. Thomas Edison didn't invent the lightbulb. Women could vote since 1867. The writer, Homer, probably didn't exist. Giants aren't always tall. Ancient Greece wasn't a country. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon never existed. Gandhi was a horrible human being.
Musings on Minutiae
Welcome to Weston Locher's Musings on Minutiae where the author offers up hilarious observations and insights on topics of great importance such as: Living in an urban apartment complex ("...if I become an admitted pet owner, then I have to pay not only a several hundred dollar deposit to the apartment complex, but I'm pretty sure that they also reserve the right to harvest some of my bodily organs..."), living with felines ("...as I'm walking anywhere in my apartment. They scamper in front of my legs, causing me to fall and face plant into whatever furniture is closest. They especially like to play this game when I'm carrying piping hot coffee."), his childhood Memories ("Our family was nearly torn apart on several occasions by arguments started when the refrigerator door was open for what my father deemed as 'too long.'"), and much more. Chock full of humorous essays and personal anecdotes, Musings on Minutiae will keep you laughing for as long as you have a pulse.
Stan The Statistician Volume 2
A print version of the blog which Stan has been writing since before blogs were invented. An eclectic collection of weird and wonderful facts and figures with thought-provoking commentary. Written to be read over a coffee (or other beverage) in the office, or on the beach or in the bathroom.
Better Than Balderdash
Did you know that you can heat up a cup of coffee by yelling at it? How about the fact that bananas are radioactive? Or that Google hires goats as gardeners? Or that competitive slapping is a sport in Russia? Our world is chock-full of fascinating facts, unbelievable but true stories, and mind-blowing trivia. This book is your one-stop guide to all the extraordinary, shocking and enthralling information you didn't know you needed to learn. Impress your friends and family with a vast knowledge of topics guaranteed to stimulate interesting conversations! If you want to learn some of the world's most intriguing stories to pass the time at work, fuel the fire on your next trivia games night, or are looking for top-notch entertainment for that family road trip, then you need this book. Inside Better Than Balderdash, you'll discover: Insane facts about world history Bizarre stories of inventors and inventions that sound 100% made upUnbelievable true stories of survivalUnusually strange trivia and fun facts about science and natureShocking truths about famous and infamous people in history ... along with many more crazy fun facts and terrific tales from every facet of this wacky world. Suitable for adults, teens or kids ... Better Than Balderdash is guaranteed to be the best book gift for anyone you can think of, including yourself! Expand your wisdom and get a copy today - It really is Better Than Balderdash
Literally Genesis
SOFTBACK VERSION Why is the Lord obsessed with cows? Do Buffalo have wings? How strong was the herb that was good? You might not find the answers to these questions, but you will find answers to many others, including just what Abraham was prepared to do for his country, in an adaptation of Genesis like no other. Literally Genesis is a humorous adaptation of the Book of Genesis as found in the King James Version of the Bible, leaving in the original text, yet embellishing it with more popular modern day narratives and characters. It's blasphemous, sacrilegious, irreligious, irreverent, and occasionally profane. You might be outraged and even insulted and you might even want to burn something down. This version of Genesis is most definitely not for children, but then again, if you took the time to read it you would find that the original isn't either. This is the Book of Genesis as it was never intended to be interpreted, yet strangely enough, it's no less ridiculous than any other.
Christian & Single
Alex a "hotshot lawyer" and Gabby a "man eating jezebel" are two complete strangers, both scumbag's for their own reasons. As fate would have it, they hear about a website where they can meet nice wholesome Christian people who would be an easy mark to take advantage of. That's when these two strangers get exactly what they deserve, each other. "Christian & Single" is a story of unexpected love told in one hilariously outrageous, raunchy fashion.
Heavenly Hoboes
When God decides it's time to present His creation with another miracle, Host, the superintendant of all things heavenly, puts in his request to handle the operation on a personal level. God approves but Gabriel isn't too sure about it. Host hasn't worked in the field in a very long time, and given that God has selected two hard drinking hoboes to provide the earthly assistance in the matter, Gabriel thinks it might be a bit much for his supervisor to control. Of course, Gabriel can't overrule God's decision but that doesn't stop him from butting in every once in a while. Between Gabriel's heckling and Abe and Shorty's imbibing, Host has his hands full as he goes about getting everything set up for the big event, but he's loving it. If everything goes according to Host's plans and Gabriel lets him get on with it, the miracle will turn the lives of the hoboes upside down and touch the world in ways you would never expect.
A History Of The Joke
Have you ever wondered what kind of jokes our ancient ancestors told? The following is recorded on an Egyptian papyrus text dated between the eighteenth and sixteenth century BCE: Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey, his purse is what restrains him. It killed them four thousand years ago! Humans have likely told jokes since they could speak and as language evolved so too did the sophistication of the jokes. A History of the Joke traces its journey from ancient one-dimensional riddle to the variety of complex, and not so, modern types. A journey illustrated by almost nine hundred jokes, which makes it a book of jokes and a book about jokes. It also details when and why particular joke types were created, and as folklore what they reveal about a society. It is not, and never has been, just a joke. WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS JOKES OF AN EXPLICIT NATURE
Commit to the Book
Commit To The Bit Comedy brings some of Chicago's most unique comedy voices together. They have entertained audiences across the United States and Canada, and are very excited to present their first book.
Know'm Sayin'?
One or two things have occurred to me. Know'm sayin'? Inside everything familiar hides a little amusement park. I love spinning a truism on its heel to see if it will giggle. I'm looking for that bit of enfolded humor in phrases and ideas we use every day. I like visiting familiar sayings all over again to see if there is something new there, some vital human thing, a laugh in a surprise.
Expat or Immigrant?
How An American Housewife in Suburban Italy Self-Publishes a Book and Gives it to You for Christmas
No Rest for the Witty, A Doggone Good Read
A writer for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno for twenty years, and a full time standup comedian and public speaker for over 30 years, who has survived two aortic valve replacements, a double bypass, three stents, and a heart attack, so he is truly funny at heart. He has also survived a too-close-to-call near suicide attempt at the height of the recession, after turning a one million dollar real estate portfolio into a one hundred thousand dollar real estate portfolio, practically overnight, in a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy. He now speaks to associations, corporations, and colleges using ah-ha's and ha-ha's to turn people's mental, physical, and financial messes and stresses into successes. He's a star of stage, page, and podcast (the world's only funny architectural podcast...go figure), and an award winning humorous newspaper (you remember those) columnist. This is a collection of those newspaper columns. Enjoy the wit and wisdom as Frank King shares his "just a bubble off plumb" look at life.
Alligators on Playgrounds
In this collection of provocative, darkly funny short stories and poems, Justin Keith Morgan blends elements of surrealism and satire to explore the joys and tragedies, ironies and absurdities of modern life. Populating these sixteen short stories and forty-two poems are deeply flawed, sympathetic characters who find themselves in both ordinary and extraordinary situations, experiencing love and loneliness, gratitude and regret, wonder and disillusionment, and (sometimes) a much-needed dose of divine intervention: an online gambling addict; a suicidal shoe salesman; an OCD psychopath; a tabloid TV show security guard; an autophobic house burglar; an obese janitor-turned-reluctant hero; a pretentious, ill-fated literary critic; an inarticulate, cantankerous elderly couple; a paranoid, self-conscious apostate; a shrinking man; a vengeful, Twinkie-loving fourth grader; an alcoholic chain smoker with a possessed left hand; and more. Beneath all the mundanity and madness emerge themes of alienation, technology, death, art, religion, sex, consumerism, language, beauty, fatherhood, and the profound existence of physical objects. At times comical, heartbreaking, weird, grotesque, violent, irreverent, or crude, but always candid, ALLIGATORS ON PLAYGROUNDS is a journey into the familiar and the strange, the sacred and the profane, the everyday and the impossible.
Tales from the Rat River
A collection of short stories surrounding the life and times of Owen from Otterburne.
Green Sheets Top 50 Excuses Middle School Students Use To Get Out Of P.E. Class
As we grow up in this fast-paced world, we tend to lose track of our imagination. We lose that same imagination we had as a kid where we could remain completely content in our own world. We thought we were invincible, unstoppable, and unbreakable. Well, unless it had to do with a physical activity in P.E. that we weren't interested in. Then, our imagination switched gears to help us form an excuse to keep us away from our least favorite lessons. Suddenly, we were very breakable and unable to do anything at all. And, of course, our P.E. Teacher would believe whatever we had to say, right? Green Sheets is a journey into the mind of a middle school-aged student in which the carefree and innocent approach to life is exemplified through their creation of hysterical excuses to get out of a particular P.E. lesson. It's also a book that hopefully motivates us to not take life too seriously and it should entice us to enjoy the intelligently designed individuals that we are and are surrounded by.
The Fantastic Book of Biology Jokes; For Everyone not just Biologists
Some say humour is life; others say biology is life. Welcome to another instalment of the Fantastic Joke Book series. We will be roasting all biology disciplines, from botanists who are a sap for word puns to geneticists whose funny bone will be tickled so hard their genes will unravel. Ask and you shall receive. Our fans have asked for even more content, so we pulled it off! It has more puns, more jokes, more witticisms than ever before. Now, a word of caution must be had, some jokes are innocent, and some are rude & lewd, but none are meant to offend. As studies have shown, the darker your sense of humour, the more intelligent you may be. With that being said, sit back, put your feet up and like a good stomach virus, let the laughs explode from you in an infectious fit. Remember, if life gives you mould, make Penicillin!
Ookie Poems For Off-Beat Children vol.1
Darkly funny and wildly entertaining, Ookie Poems for Off-Beat Children tickles the funny bone....with a broken finger. Covering a wide variety of topics and introducing some very memorable and interesting characters, Ookie Poems For Off-Beat Children makes the twisted, little, 10 year-old in all of us, laugh out loud.
The Crunch
A funny tongue in cheek look at the A to Z of key financial and business terms. Find out what they really mean!! A guaranteed giggle in our current difficult times. Over 100 pages of financial and business terms, giving the original meaning as well as a humorous alternative. A laugh-a-minute read for anyone involved or interested in the world of commerce, finance, industry or investment.
The Little Nell Poems vol.3
Clever, dark poems that make you laugh with unease. Little Nell is a sweet, adorable, little pig-tailed moppet who, in each poem, is introduced, commits an absurdly foolish act, and then promptly dies.....all in the span of four lines of verse. Honoring the rhyming talents of Dr. Seuss and the dark humor of Edward Gorey, The Little Nell Poems will make the warped child in every reader clutch their bellies with laughter.
I Believe Every Story I've Told
This book is a compilation of stories from my life on the road for over 35 years. I enjoyed every minute of those 35 years. These are my stories about the people I met and the places I went. This book would not have been possible without a superb illustrator and my many friends from planet earth who breathe the same air that I do.
Four of Clubs
These four stories are drawn from the Author's wide experience within the world of Gentleman's Clubs, or "Clubland" as it is often described. The "Ghost in Piccadilly" was seen in a club late at night and the story, brilliantly researched by The Times newspaper eventually received wide coverage reaching Europe and America. "An Evening at The Club" is an example of how rapidly things can go wrong and how funny they can seem in hindsight - although perhaps not to the individuals directly involved. "The Colonel" was a real, albeit bogus, character who, with his outrageous antics, provided constant entertainment for the members and particularly those in the know. Only a few of his escapades are related here and there is much more to come. "The Committee Man" is an amalgam of the behaviour sometimes adopted in order to influence events but with a generous proportion of artistic license.
Chocolagrams - The Secret Language of Chocolates
An amusing and highly entertaining little book about the romantic and not-so-innocent symbolism of chocolates.
The Comedies of Aristophanes; Volume II
This work has been selected by scholars as being culturally important, and is part of the knowledge base of civilization as we know it.This work is in the "public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work.Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.
