Washington Post Is Switching Off Lights
Standing on the snarky shoulders of Ambrose Bierce and Dorothy Parker, this tongue-in-cheek examination of everything from patriotism and ego to our collective dopamine addiction is a cathartic work of social philosophy, which is at once heavily satirical and all too realistic. - The Independent Review of Books​​​​​​​Bardzik is more than capable of penning the most clever thing you've read today. It's easy to picture his books in the back pocket of his jeans, the lines smudged with a feverish hand and a churning mind. There's a lot going on in that skull of his, and it's a pleasure to be in there with him. - Independent Book ReviewYou don't read this book to follow a story. You read it to be jolted awake. I'll be honest, reading this felt like watching fireworks. Every line bursts for a second, then vanishes, leaving an echo. It's perfect for readers who enjoy thinkers like Wilde, Cioran, or Vonnegut, but want something more contemporary and raw. - Literary Titan
Marianne
This classy, classic, second-chance Regency romance - fifth in what PUBLISHERS WEEKLY itself called 'McVeigh's celebrated series' - combines sparkling dialogue with powerful depth of feeling in Austenesque style. When the widowed Marianne - still beautiful, still impulsive, and not yet twenty-one - returns to London, she's wealthy, with a house in Mayfair and an estate in Dorsetshire. Despite her resolution to remain single, she's besieged by admirers, including the smitten Rushworth, the dangerously attractive Willoughby, and the charming and irreverent Crawford.Then Marianne's sixteen-year-old sister Margaret arrives - exuberantly romantic but also perilously na簿ve. In a shocking twist, Margaret finds herself on trial for her life, while Marianne - in need of every friend - finds her resolution tested to the utmost."Marianne captures the essence of Austen... She throws together characters that readers love, or love to hate, to see how they gel. The result is funny, heartwarming, and everything lovers of the Austen universe could hope for." -BookLife Prize review, 2025"Spectacular! With smooth pacing and classic style, McVeigh delivers a sequel that is sure to please." -Readers Favorite Editorial Review (five stars)"Charming... logically organized and emotionally satisfying - much like the contrast between Elinor and Marianne. Five stars! -Readers Views Editorial Review"McVeigh's prose and plotting are pitch perfect... she echoes the master herself." - Publishers Weekly
The Competently Quirky Parables of an Eccentric Master Gardener
A Note from RosieSome people plant a few flowers. Some grow veggies in summer. Maybe they have a little spider plant or bamboo in the office. I am not exactly one of those people. My philodendron extends from one pot on a shelf across three walls in my dining room. The Maple sapling in my front yard cries when temperatures top 100 degrees. Starbucks baristas across the city save coffee grounds for me. Plant catalogs choke my mailbox and, yes, this 69 year old Master Gardener owns a tractor. I can get somewhat obsessive about it all. My husband has grown accustomed to my insistence that vacations must be planned around key times for vegetable garden harvesting. I write two page long watering instructions for house sitters in the fervent desire that leaving for a week won't destroy the charm and beauty of my home environment. My unusual methods of approaching the challenges of the garden are effective, and I've given lectures for gardening clubs on various aspects of gardening from creating microclimates in high desert areas to vacuuming squash bugs. My friends smile and call me eccentric, fellow gardeners acknowledge me as competent and my kids just think I'm kinda quirky. _____________________________ Comments from readers: From Fil Chavez, author of "Unused Towels"MAD MAD MAD . . . with lots of really good advice! I am not a serious gardener, I am more of a "Well, I tried but ..." Nonetheless, this is indeed CRAZY MAD HUMOR ... i.e., "squash bugs .... Horniest critters in the insect world ... Live in a constant state of post-coital euphoria ... take a cold bath" and it gets better! It is definitely worth getting the book. Thanks, Rosie! Parris Afton Bonds, Internationally Published Romance Author THE THRILL OF IT ALL EVEN THE MANURERosie Kern entertains with humor the agony and ecstasy of her gardening experience. Whether you are a gardening afficionado or not, you will enjoy her foray into her passion for gardeningMichael Hilarious yet educational take on gardeningFrom the first sentence, Rosie has such an engaging style of writing, laced with humor. And if you're not careful, you might even learn something.
I Think It's A Sign That The Pun Also Rises
Ready to groan, grin, and giggle? Rediscover the joy of wordplay with this collection of puns, dad jokes, and clever one-liners that promises to lift spirits and inspire smiles-one groan-worthy punchline at a time.Born from a simple mission of collecting and sharing dad jokes to brighten Mark Leslie's neighborhood during tough times, this book gathers well over 1000 of his beloved daily chalkboard jokes into a single, joy-packed volume. It's a treasure trove for anyone who loves language, humor, or just a good laugh. Inside, readers will find everything from meta-jokes that play with the very idea of humor, to rapid-fire dad jokes, music-themed zingers, and even a cheeky adults-only section. Each chapter is crafted to appeal to pun enthusiasts, casual joke collectors, and anyone in need of a smile.This book makes the perfect gift for that incorrigible mirth-spreader in your life, and includes hilarious funnies perfect for sharing with friends, family, or even strangers who could use a laugh. I Think It's A Sign That The Pun Also Rises is more than just a joke book-it's a celebration of connection, resilience, and the simple magic of a well-timed pun. Open to any page, share a joke, and make your world a little lighter-one groan at a time.
Marvel So You've Been Bitten by a Radioactive Spider
The Marvel Comics Universe is full of action, adventure, danger, and cosmic peril. Be ready for anything with this illustrated action handbook--whether you have newly developed super-powers, you need to pilot an Iron Man suit, or Galactus is here to eat the Earth. Written by Marvel Comics and Emmy-nominated humor writer Daniel Kibblesmith, this official illustrated guide to surviving and thriving in the Marvel Universe uses comics-tested advice to steer readers through what to expect when exposed to gamma rays, bonding with a symbiote or--ow!--feeling an unexpected sting at the science fair. Featuring practical information such as wall-crawling tips, along with emergency information (you've been plunged into the Quantum Realm) and day-to-day guidance if your cat turns out to be a Flerken, you suspect someone of being a Skrull, or are facing a Doombot, this is the must-have handbook as you live in the world of Marvel's mightiest heroes. (c) 2025 MARVEL CRUCIAL ADVICE FROM MARVEL COMICS: What would you do if you discover you had mutant abilities, or are the only one on a heroic team without super-powers? Marvel comics writer and lifelong fan Daniel Kibblesmith finds inspiration and advice in the comics to offer tips and strategies for navigating these and many more of the reader's own 'what if' experiences. IMAGINATIVE ADVENTURES: The Hulk is totally hulking out, with mayhem imminent; you're weighing the pros and cons of legal representation from Matt Murdock or Jennifer Walters (or P.I. help from Jessica Jones or Howard the Duck); you need to speak Groot but are not fluent. This book has got you covered! Perfect for: Marvel fans looking for a fresh, funny spin on the comics Fans of action hero handbooks and survival guides Fans of Marvel Super Graphic, Marvel Mazes, and Thor and Loki: Midgard Family Mayhem
10 Curious Cases from 'P.C. BOOKEM'S CASEBOOK'
Many of you will remember Constable John Malcolm aka Bookem, from the 'Tales of a Highland Minister' books, and you will know what a character he was. Born on the beautiful Isle of Mull, he served communities across the Highlands and Islands of the West Coast of Scotland as their local Bobby. He was a good, honest man and has plenty of tales to tell - and this Book is a collection of some of his strange and bizarre cases, such as 'The Banshee of Rannoch Moor, ' 'The Vanishing Ballachulish Ferryman, ' 'The body at the Blackwater Dam, ' 'The Little Rag Doll of Islay, ' 'The Green Lady of Mamore', 'The Whisperings at Callart' and other mysterious tales. Each story leaves us with food for thought and a smile, and all with a thread of West Coast humour running through them.Why not pour yourself a wee glass of 'something medicinal, ' sit back and enjoy these 'Curious Cases of PC Bookem.'
81 Legendary Little Johnny Jokes Some Adapted Re His Life From 0-90 Yrs Jokes
Little Johnny jokes are basically about a little boy with a very embarrassing 'flaw' in that he constantly has a 'straightforward' and 'na簿ve' way of thinking. This tends to upset those around him. His innocent ways make the reader smile. The author of this book believes that in the future these 'Little Johnny' jokes will become essential reading for the human condition i.e. personal growth and thought-provoking non-fiction. Also at the same time awakening emotions regarding free-speech.As a teacher one of my mottos was: Don't walk behind me I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me I may not follow. Just walk with me and be my friend. (Inspiration - A Camus)I am fearful that in the future, a teacher's role might change. Don't walk behind me I may punish you. Don't walk in front of me. Don't disobey me. Just walk with me and accept 'the truth'. Will this propaganda be the signpost to adulthood authoritarian harmony.Anyway, enjoy the read today.
Christmas Hand Jobs for the Whole Family
Gather your loved ones around the Yule Log, roll up your sleeves, and set off on an unforgettable and joyously absurd Christmas journey where your hands become the ultimate tools for adventure and hilarity!Christmas Hand Jobs for the Whole Family is a heartwarming book of hands-on, helpful, Christmas activities for the family that 'could' be read to a child but is chock full of innuendos for adults that will have you on the floor laughing (and questioning your life decisions).This delightful book invites readers to explore a world of timeless hand jobs that spark imagination and creativity to do together. From pounding your dough (making homemade cookies) to emptying your sack (taking toys out of Santa's bag) to calling some hookers (dialing a tow truck when the car breaks down), this book brings forth an enchanting world where everyday Christmas tasks become extraordinary adventures. Who doesn't want to tap that ass (playing pin the tail on the donkey) or blow your load (using a snowblower to clear the driveway)? Packed with endless ideas to encourage everyone to step away from screens and engage in hands-on holiday fun, this book is a delightful invitation to experience the magic of spending quality time together while laughing uncontrollably!This book is perfect for anyone with a good sense of humor who wants to get into the Christamas spirit. It is a great playful gag gift or white elephant gift for new parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers (depends), and enemies!Note: This book is intended solely for comedic and satirical purposes and should not be taken seriously. The content within is a work of parody, often exaggerating or twisting reality (very poorly) for humorous effect. It may contain mature themes and content that may not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for any misinterpretation or offense taken as a result of reading this book. Remember, it's all in good fun!
Christmas Hand Jobs for the Whole Family
Gather your loved ones around the Yule Log, roll up your sleeves, and set off on an unforgettable and joyously absurd Christmas journey where your hands become the ultimate tools for adventure and hilarity!Christmas Hand Jobs for the Whole Family is a heartwarming book of hands-on, helpful, Christmas activities for the family that 'could' be read to a child but is chock full of innuendos for adults that will have you on the floor laughing (and questioning your life decisions).This delightful book invites readers to explore a world of timeless hand jobs that spark imagination and creativity to do together. From pounding your dough (making homemade cookies) to emptying your sack (taking toys out of Santa's bag) to calling some hookers (dialing a tow truck when the car breaks down), this book brings forth an enchanting world where everyday Christmas tasks become extraordinary adventures. Who doesn't want to tap that ass (playing pin the tail on the donkey) or blow your load (using a snowblower to clear the driveway)? Packed with endless ideas to encourage everyone to step away from screens and engage in hands-on holiday fun, this book is a delightful invitation to experience the magic of spending quality time together while laughing uncontrollably!This book is perfect for anyone with a good sense of humor who wants to get into the Christamas spirit. It is a great playful gag gift or white elephant gift for new parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers (depends), and enemies!Note: This book is intended solely for comedic and satirical purposes and should not be taken seriously. The content within is a work of parody, often exaggerating or twisting reality (very poorly) for humorous effect. It may contain mature themes and content that may not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for any misinterpretation or offense taken as a result of reading this book. Remember, it's all in good fun!
Hand Jobs for the Whole Famly
Gather your loved ones, roll up your sleeves, and set off on an unforgettable and joyously absurd journey where your hands become the ultimate tools for adventure and hilarity!Hand Jobs for the Whole Family is a heartwarming book of hands-on, helpful activities for the family that 'could' be read to a child but is chock full of innuendos for adults that will have you on the floor laughing (and questioning your life decisions).This delightful book invites readers to explore a world of timeless hand jobs that spark imagination and creativity to do together. From busting a nut (using a nutcracker to break a walnut) to performing a reacharound (grabbing a toy from behind a cabinet) to performing a rim job (cleaning the wheels of the family car), this book brings forth an enchanting world where everyday tasks become extraordinary adventures. Packed with endless ideas to encourage everyone to step away from screens and engage in hands-on fun, this book is a delightful invitation to experience the magic of spending quality time together while laughing uncontrollably!This book is perfect for anyone with a good sense of humor and great as a playful gift for new parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers (depends), and enemies!NOTE: THIS BOOK IS INTENDED SOLELY FOR COMEDIC AND SATIRICAL PURPOSES AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. THE CONTENT WITHIN IS A WORK OF PARODY, OFTEN EXAGGERATING OR TWISTING REALITY (VERY POORLY) FOR HUMOROUS EFFECT. IT MAY CONTAIN MATURE THEMES AND CONTENT THAT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. THE AUTHOR AND PUBLISHER ASSUME NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY MISINTERPRETATION OR OFFENSE TAKEN AS A RESULT OF READING THIS BOOK. REMEMBER, IT'S ALL IN GOOD FUN!
Hand Jobs for the Whole Family
Hand Jobs for the Whole Family: The Complete CollectionGather your loved ones, roll up your sleeves, and set off on an unforgettable and joyously absurd journey where your hands become the ultimate tools for adventure and hilarity in the full collection of Hand Jobs for the Whole Family!Hand Jobs for the Whole Family: The Full Collection brings together Volumes 1-3 and the Christmas Edition of the hilariously heartwarming series that has readers everywhere laughing (and questioning their life decisions). Each page is filled with hands-on, helpful activities for the whole family, packed with double entendres that will have adults in stitches.This delightful collection invites readers to explore a world of timeless hand jobs that spark imagination, creativity, and uncontrollable laughter. From busting a nut to pole dancing, pounding your dough, and blowing your load (with a snowblower, of course), every volume turns everyday tasks into extraordinary adventures.Whether you're helping a child build a one-night stand (a bedside table), eating pussy (feeding the cat), or calling some hookers (tow trucks), this series is a wild ride of innocent fun with a twist of not-so-innocent humor.Perfect for anyone with a good sense of humor, this collection makes a brilliant gag gift for new parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers (depending), and even enemies. And with the festive cheer of the Christmas Edition, it's the gift that keeps on giving.Note: This book is intended solely for comedic and satirical purposes and should not be taken seriously. The content within is a work of parody, often exaggerating or twisting reality (very poorly) for humorous effect. It may contain mature themes and content that may not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for any misinterpretation or offense taken as a result of reading this book. Remember, it's all in good fun!
The F**kit! List
An uproariously irreverent counter-guide to the self-improvement culture and the tyranny of the 'bucket list', calling out 41 overhyped, 'life-changing' fads, activities and pursuits that you are better off skipping before you die.Sling the bucket! Slay the FOMO! Save your precious money and time, your sanity, your patience and your dignity. This is the anti-manifesto for anyone who's ever been tempted or guilt-tripped into chasing 'transformational' life experiences or railroaded into dumb ideas; comfort literature for the victims of the zeitgeist who have ended up out of sorts, out of pocket, out of joy, out of endurance, out of their mind... and who's damned stupid idea was this in the first place? Silent retreats? A house rabbit? Whitewater rafting? Climbing Everest? Houseboat living? I mean, please. This book is your permission slip to be a party-pooping curmudgeon and say to the chirpy, chipper cheerleaders of the life better lived, 'No, no, move along, I'm quite alright, thank you.' With playful scorn, The 'F**kit! List calls out the reality behind the fluff, the hype and the hard sell, exposing the grim small print beneath the banner headlines that promise deep fulfilment, spiritual contentment and Fun! Fun! Fun! Whether it's keeping bees or hens, buying a vintage car, staying in an ice hotel, or going off-grid-this book says what you've always felt deep down: do me a favour, will you?
Hand Jobs for the Whole Family
Hand Jobs for the Whole Family: The Complete CollectionGather your loved ones, roll up your sleeves, and set off on an unforgettable and joyously absurd journey where your hands become the ultimate tools for adventure and hilarity in the full collection of Hand Jobs for the Whole Family!Hand Jobs for the Whole Family: The Full Collection brings together Volumes 1-3 and the Christmas Edition of the hilariously heartwarming series that has readers everywhere laughing (and questioning their life decisions). Each page is filled with hands-on, helpful activities for the whole family, packed with double entendres that will have adults in stitches.This delightful collection invites readers to explore a world of timeless hand jobs that spark imagination, creativity, and uncontrollable laughter. From busting a nut to pole dancing, pounding your dough, and blowing your load (with a snowblower, of course), every volume turns everyday tasks into extraordinary adventures.Whether you're helping a child build a one-night stand (a bedside table), eating pussy (feeding the cat), or calling some hookers (tow trucks), this series is a wild ride of innocent fun with a twist of not-so-innocent humor.Perfect for anyone with a good sense of humor, this collection makes a brilliant gag gift for new parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers (depending), and even enemies. And with the festive cheer of the Christmas Edition, it's the gift that keeps on giving.Note: This book is intended solely for comedic and satirical purposes and should not be taken seriously. The content within is a work of parody, often exaggerating or twisting reality (very poorly) for humorous effect. It may contain mature themes and content that may not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for any misinterpretation or offense taken as a result of reading this book. Remember, it's all in good fun!
Hand Jobs for the Whole Family
Hand Jobs for the Whole Family: The Complete CollectionGather your loved ones, roll up your sleeves, and set off on an unforgettable and joyously absurd journey where your hands become the ultimate tools for adventure and hilarity in the full collection of Hand Jobs for the Whole Family!Hand Jobs for the Whole Family: The Full Collection brings together Volumes 1-4 of the hilariously heartwarming series that has readers everywhere laughing (and questioning their life decisions). Each page is filled with hands-on, helpful activities for the whole family-packed with double entendres that will have adults in stitches.This delightful collection invites readers to explore a world of timeless hand jobs that spark imagination, creativity, and uncontrollable laughter. From busting a nut to pole dancing, pounding your dough, and blowing your load (with a snowblower, of course), every volume turns everyday tasks into extraordinary adventures.Whether you're helping a child build a one-night stand (a bedside table), eating pussy (feeding the cat), or calling some hookers (tow trucks), this series is a wild ride of innocent fun with a twist of not-so-innocent humor.Perfect for anyone with a good sense of humor, this collection makes a brilliant gag gift for new parents, grandparents, friends, co-workers (depending), and even enemies. And with the festive cheer of Volume 4's Christmas edition, it's the gift that keeps on giving.Note: This book is intended solely for comedic and satirical purposes and should not be taken seriously. The content within is a work of parody, often exaggerating or twisting reality (very poorly) for humorous effect. It may contain mature themes and content that may not be suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for any misinterpretation or offense taken as a result of reading this book. Remember, it's all in good fun!
Animals Are A-Holes
It's time we held these adorable little freaks accountable. Get ready to discover the dark and seedy underworld of the animal kingdom with Animals Are A-holes. From drunk monkeys to stabby platypuses to kidnapping penguins, this book is an illustrated rap sheet of wildly offensive behaviors and shocking crimes committed by the animals you thought you knew. Think all creatures deserve our love and respect? Get a load of these disturbing facts: - Hedgehogs are cannibals.- Dolphins are thugs.- Chipmunks hate visitors.- Pigeons are gamblers.- Octopi punch fish for fun. Get the real dirt on misbehaving mammals, unlovable birds, and inappropriate invertebrates with Animals Are A-holes, the long-awaited expos矇 they don't want you to read.
Road Trip
Dive into the delightful family adventures of the MacPherson household with Baby Blues! This book includes all of the 2024 daily and Sunday comic strips by the award-winning duo Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott. Darryl and Wanda MacPherson are two brave parents navigating the wild adventure of raising three kids. There's Zoe, the eldest, who's always full of questions and sass; Hammie, the energetic middle child with a knack for getting into mischief; and Wren, the adorable baby who's the center of everyone's attention. Every strip is a snapshot of the hilarity and unpredictability of family life. Whether it's Darryl trying to assemble a toy with too many parts, Wanda juggling work and home duties, or the kids creating their own brand of chaos, Baby Blues captures the ups and downs of family life with a perfect blend of humor and heart.
Chalk Full of Laughs
Robert Favretto hasn't just survived 45 years navigating the vibrant chaos of primary school - he's emerged with a treasure trove of hilarious stories!In Chalk Full of Laughs, Favretto swings open the classroom door and invites you into a heartwarming, laugh-out-loud collection of true tales. Prepare for everything from students who took directions so literally it defied belief, to show-and-tell moments that spiralled wildly off-script, and the countless unpredictable surprises that kept him firmly on his toes (and occasionally sent him diving for cover).Brimming with genuine warmth, sharp wit, and wisdom earned the hard way, these stories celebrate the joy, the madness, and the sheer fun of life at school. Perfect for teachers, parents, or anyone who's ever sat at a student's desk, this book is guaranteed to leave you smiling, snorting with laughter, and fondly remembering just how wonderfully unforgettable school days can be - especially in Mr Fav's class!
The Illiterate Digest
A laugh that teaches: step into the wry, homespun wisdom of one of America s sharpest voices. The Illiterate Digest gathers Will Rogers s funniest, keenest comedic essays witty observations on politics, society, and the human condition that made him the marquee name in early 20th-century humor. Through plainspoken storytelling and sly American satire, Rogers transforms current events into timeless social criticism, blending political commentary with heart. Readers will meet the era s follies and foibles rendered in conversational charm: skewerings of Washington, affectionate portraits of everyday life, and the kind of cultural satire that still rings true today. This edition is historically significant: a cornerstone of classic humor literature and historical American humor, The Illiterate Digest helped define American satire and influenced generations of humorists. Alpha Editions proudly republishes this work out of print for decades restored for today s and future generations. Far more than a reprint, this volume is curated as a collector s item and cultural treasure, with careful restoration that honors both text and context. Perfect for fans of Will Rogers writings and anyone hungry for comedic essays that combine laugh-out-loud humor with incisive political commentary, this book belongs on the shelves of casual readers and classic literature collectors alike. Rediscover the joy of readable, relevant wit American satire at its clearest, funniest, and most enduring. Keywords: humor essays, American satire, witty observations, literary humor.
The Haliburton Primer
Rediscover a quietly brilliant voice of the 19th century The Haliburton Primer reawakens the wit, insight, and humanity of M. W. Haliburton in a newly restored collector s edition. This compact collection gathers Haliburton s sharpest essays and sketches witty social observation, gentle satire, and clear-eyed commentary on manners, politics, and everyday life. Readers will meet the author s memorable characters and distinctive narrative voice as he probes class, culture, and conscience with humor and compassion. More than a historical curiosity, these pieces illuminate Haliburton's themes and style: moral irony, rural and urban contrasts, and a quietly influential perspective on society and culture. Historically significant and long out of print, this edition from Alpha Editions returns a crucial thread of influential Canadian literature to public view. Restored for today s and future generations, it blends meticulous textual care with elegant design to offer collectors and casual readers alike a literary classic reborn. Whether you re building a classic literature collection, studying 19th-century essays, or seeking a fresh window into Canadian author Haliburton s legacy, this volume provides essential reading and historical literature analysis. This is not merely a reprint it s a cultural treasure and a collector s item that invites renewed exploration of Haliburton's literary legacy and his place among literary classics. Perfect for readers interested in Haliburton Primer book, M. W. Haliburton writings, and literary classics exploration.
You Can't Shoot Your Mother-In-Law
A tale as old as time, You Can't Shoot Your Mother-In-Law: The Entirely True Tales of a Daughter-In-Law captures the common power struggle between a woman and her very Southern mother-in-law. A journey from absolute aggravation to authentic affection, Tonya Reid offers a collection of hilariously relatable essays of lessons learned from not only "Mother," but other influential women in the author's life. From a singing career-ending nun to trying to triage hemorrhoids to navigating elder care for a mother-in-law who has no concept of please and thank you, every entirely true tale keeps the reader nodding in relatability, laughing until their ribs hurt, and turning the page.
Afterthoughts
Richard Ayoade dispenses a lifetime of deepness into over 500 individually digestible thought pellets. Taste, masticate, and savour. You're about to get extremely wise.Plato, Aristotle, Montaigne. Men who have searched for meaning with, let's face it, mixed results. Whither the one who can solve it? Cometh the hour, cometh the Ayoade. Yes: another man (in his way) but also something bigger. Bigger even than a big man. Bigger, perhaps, than a generalisation. Like a spirit, maybe?Afterthoughts goes beyond rumination, past pondering, probing further than ever before, drawing from a deeply private pool of questions: a reservoir so refreshing you may never need to think again.Richard Ayoade has set down some of his most enormous thoughts for the benefit of all those who dare read them. Thoughts like...TV detectives need a gimmick. Mine would be not caring who did it.If, when one door shuts, another door opens, there's something wrong with your doors. They shouldn't be doing that.Where's the box to tick if you ARE a robot?My mother used to say Manners Maketh the Man, but I didn't think it was very mannerly of her to make fun of my lisp.
Carey's New Dictionary of Linkedin
***THE PERFECT COMEDY GIFT BOOK***"...a funny, insightful book which skewers the pompousness, desperation and lack of self-awareness lurking within the world of business communication...Whether you're an enthusiastic or reluctant LinkedIn user, I'm sure you'll find a lot to laugh about." - LUCY PORTER, BBC COMEDIANAre you a 'craplicant', a 'tinklecaster' or a 'dirtyoldmanfluencer'? Do sobbing CEOs, pointless polls or whimsical job titles really get your goat? Then read on.It's the business platform with over a billion users. For many, it's an indispensable part of their daily working lives.But as everyone knows, LinkedIn also boasts some of the weirdest, most narcissistic behavior on the planet.Now, for the first time, there's a dictionary that captures all of it.Written by Steve Carey, a twenty-year media veteran who's worked at the BBC and Vice Media, Carey's New Dictionary of LinkedIn is a handy, illustrated A-Z of all the general insanity that takes place daily on the world's largest business platform.From the padded work profiles to the glowing white teeth, from the drunken conference photos to the jailed financial gurus, Carey's New Dictionary of LinkedIn is the perfect gift for anyone who wants to laugh or cry at today's corporate hustle.
Lifeform
From actor, comedian, co-creator of Marcel the Shell, and New York Times bestselling author of Little Weirds, Jenny Slate, a wild, soulful, hilarious collection of genre-bending essays depicting the journey into motherhood as you've never seen it before. What happened was this: Jenny Slate was a human mammal who sniffed the air every morning hoping to find another person to love who would love her, and in that period there was a deep dark loneliness that she had to face and befriend, and then we are pleased to report that she did fall in love, and in that period she was like chimes, or a flock of clean breaths, and her spine lying flat was the many-colored planks on the xylophone, but also she was rabid with fear of losing this love, because of past injury. And then what happened was that she became a wild-pregnant-mammal-thing and then she exploded herself by having a whole baby blast through her vagina during a global plague and then she was expected to carry on like everything was normal--but was this normal, and had she or anything ever been normal? Herein lies an account of this journey, told in five phases--Single, True Love, Pregnancy, Baby, and Ongoing--through luminous, laugh-out-loud funny, unclassifiable essays that take the form of letters to a doctor, dreams of a stork, fantasy therapy sessions, gossip between racoons, excerpts from an imaginary olden timey play, obituaries, theories about post-partum hair loss, graduation speeches, and more. No one writes like Jenny Slate.
What Keanu Says
Known for his iconic roles in films such as The Matrix and John Wick, and more recently for his philanthropy, Keanu Reeves has garnered a reputation as one of Hollywood's kindest stars. Featuring words of wisdom on life, acting, hope and resilience, What Keanu Says is a compilation of the actor's most inspirational quotes. "The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way." "I was also raised to treat people exactly how I would like to be treated by others. It's called respect." "I don't want to be part of a world where being kind is a weakness."
Five Lines & a Laugh
A review of the five-line limerick throughout its 150-plus years of history reveals a limited purpose that cries for expansion.Much of the earlier literature was devoted to nonsensical rhymes that appealed to young children in a nursery setting. Asthe modern limerick pattern of five lines evolved during the twentieth century, those favoring its use as a ribald form ofentertainment for adults won out over those favoring alternate uses. "Clean" limericks, for example, were summarily dismissed. Only a "dirty" limerick could be a good limerick.Julian G. Martin's assessment of the limerick as an instrument of expression allows for a much broader purpose. Whilenonsensical and earthy limericks deserve a place at the table, the limerick is too good an instrument to be restricted to those categories. He says let it be used to brighten one's day in ever so many ways.This book explores several possibilities. Limericks can be used for voice mail greetings, family celebrations of all kinds, class reunions, advocacy of a cause, and family histories, to name a few. Why not make the limerick a lighthearted, useful art form, giving it a touch of class that transcends barroom humor? Such a question may stir yet another round of conflict among limerick lovers as opposing sides once again gird for battle over the proper use of limericks.
Choreplay
"This is a damn marriage manual disguised as a comedy special. A Trojan Swiffer, if you will." --Lenard "Charlamagne Tha God" McKelvey From veteran comedian, husband, and "great dad" Jordan Carlos comes a hilarious and helpful account of what it really takes, as a straight man, to keep your marriage going strong. Choreplay is a laugh-out-loud, gamified guide to recognize what you've got before you lose it all. It's about putting in the effort in small ways that yield big results, like bringing your wife her morning coffee in bed, learning the names of your children's doctors and what medicines they take, exercising, protecting your gains, doing what you want, and going the f*ck to bed! This manual is part memoir, part advice, and a lot of comedy. Most of all, it's a testament to love conquering all the petty, banal strife and turning those day-to-day moments into the very thing that saves a marriage. Guaranteed sex for life, but also self-worth. Many men give plenty, but it's wiser to give well--to our partners, our families, and ourselves. Jordan Carlos has mastered the art of choreplay, and you, my dude, can f*ck with it too. "If I'd had this book five years ago, I'd still be married." --Sarah Cooper, award-winning comedian, actress, and author of Foolish
F*ck It 2026 12 X 12 Wall Calendar
I LEFT MY LAST F*CK IN 2025: Get your sh*t together with a wall calendar made for the f*cking new year. The 2026 F*ck It 12" x 12" Wall Calendar is your fairy-f*cking godmother for keeping it real and giving life's bullsh*t the finger. Say goodbye to the mundane and hello to a daily dose of hilarious truth bombs. Do less, survive over thrive, get some snacks, clock some Zzz's, and keep it honest. Oh, and sit up straight dammit. F*ck yeah. It's time to own your sh*t and let your penchant for profanity guide you through the chaos.
One Question a Day 2026 5.4 X 6.2 Box Calendar
MINDFUL REFLECTIONS: As the year unfolds, so does your journey with the One Question A Day 2026 Box Calendar. Explore over 300 thought-provoking questions, designed to inspire introspection, foster growth, cultivate mindfulness, and get to know and appreciate the incredible person you are becoming--one page at a time.
No F*cks Given 2026 5.4 X 6.2 Box Calendar
I LEFT MY LAST F*CK IN 2025: Get your sh*t together with a daily calendar made for the f*cking new year. The No F*cks Given 2026 Box Calendar is your fairy-f*cking godmother for keeping it real and giving life's bullsh*t the finger. Say goodbye to the mundane and hello to a daily dose of hilarious truth bombs. Do less, survive over thrive, get some snacks, clock some Zzz's, and keep it honest. Oh, and sit up straight dammit. F*ck yeah. It's time to own your sh*t and let profanity guide you through the chaos.
Pun Intended 2026 7 X 7 Mini Wall Calendar
PUNDERFUL QUIPS - With one-liners like, "I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around," the 2026 Pun Intended 7" x 7" Wall Calendar will make the year ahead a little bit brighter and a lot more punny. Each month will have you snickering to yourself while innocent bystanders roll their eyes and grin in spite of themselves.
Doug the Pug 2026 7 X 7 Mini Wall Calendar
DOUG THE PUG - Meet the "King of Pop Culture" with 18 million social media followers and billions of video views. Doug loves the camera as much as the camera loves him!
Doug the Pug 2026 5.4 X 6.2 Box Calendar-USA
DOUG THE PUG - Meet the "King of Pop Culture" with 18 million social media followers and billions of video views. Doug loves the camera as much as the camera loves him!
Leaving the Ocean Was a Mistake
Sixty bizarre and beautiful marine creatures offer affirmations for self-confidence, serenity, and fulfillment--drawn from real-life facts about our fascinating natural world. If you sometimes wish you could sink back into the depths of the ocean, great news--the strange little guys who still live down there will receive you with open arms (and fins, claws, and tentacles). But if you're not quite ready to take to the sea, these friendly denizens of the deep offer solid advice for living on dry land, such as the following: "If you're happy and you know it, digest your brain."--The star tunicate, who avoids anxiety by digesting much of its own body"Never be afraid to set--and enforce--your boundaries."--The gloomy octopus, who protects its personal space by throwing dirt at anyone who bothers it"It's good to get it all out."--The fire-breathing shrimp, who vomits bioluminescent goo when threatened"If you love someone, absorb them into your bloodstream."--The fanfin anglerfish, who expresses love by fusing with its mateAnd more wonderfully wacky undersea weirdos who really know how to live!Beautifully illustrated with striking watercolor portraits of the ocean's most eccentric creatures, Leaving the Ocean Was a Mistake will make you long to return to the seas--but it will also help you bring a freewheeling, relaxed, self-actualized ocean spirit to even the driest life.
Sticks
The ultimate guide to the art and science of stick collecting. Because nobody knows sticks like the founders of Stick Nation. What makes a particularly good stick? Is it the stick's length and sturdiness--a trusty walking staff, perhaps, that conjures up fantasies of wizards and battle? Or is it the stick's usefulness--say, as a drumstick on a log in the woods, or as a slingshot for propelling pebbles at your friend's face? Maybe what makes a stick great is its unique shape, like Poseidon's trident or a Stormtrooper's blaster gun? Or maybe what makes a stick great is simply how it makes you feel. In Sticks, enjoy an incredible collection of Stick Nation's most magnificent sticks--some from as far as Cameroon!--and meet the people (and dogs!) who love them. Stick Nation founders Logan Jugler and Boone Hogg also share their top tips for finding and classifying sticks, encouraging readers to let loose, have fun, and embrace their imaginations. Filled with unforgettable sticks found throughout the world, Sticks inspires readers to head into the great outdoors to find a stick of their own.
Sorry in Advance for Making Things Weird.
National bestselling author Dave Tarnowski, the visionary behind the 2.4-million+ follower @DisappointingAffirmations Instagram account, is back with a fresh and funny brace of realistic affirmations that recognize that failure is always an option across the many splendors of our lives. Life: It's often disappointing! Whether it's everyday experiences with family, friends, work, love, or the general hell of other people, there's ample opportunity for disillusionment. Hilarious disillusionment. Disappointment guru Dave Tarnowski's second collection features new and exclusive affirmations and dozens of transformed and unpublished fan favorites from his wildly popular Instagram account. This abundance of wisdom is helpfully organized into eight everyday subjects on which we can all use a little subversive sympathetic enlightenment (including Daily Motivation, Work, Success, and Other People). Dave excavates each subject further in a funny, clear-eyed short essay. All photos are his own. All feelings widely shared. Like a non-disappointing gift with purchase, the book's jacket folds out into a new motivational poster, suitable for display anywhere disappointment may strike. IT REALLY IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY: People say, "It's okay to not be okay," but then it feels like they need you to be okay. This subversively funny book is the perfect way to remind ourselves, or anyone who needs it, that it's better to deal with our feelings honestly than fall into the "positive vibes only" self-help trap. MORE FEELINGS THAN EVER BEFORE: Tarnowski's pithy photo-illuminated consolations and manifestos are as sharp and relatable as ever. Now paired with observational essays that plumb depths and cast light, it's a whole new ride. TOXIC POSITIVITY CAN GO TO HELL: Enough, already. WAIT, THERE'S MORE! See also the original, national bestselling Disappointing Affirmations book and accompanying stationery and gift items, including Disappointing Affirmations Wall Calendar, Disappointing Affirmations Deck, Disappointing AffirmationsPencils, Disappointing Affirmations: 30 Postcards, Disappointing AffirmationsSticker Book, and Disappointing Affirmations: The Game. You won't be disappointed. Perfect for: College grads, people entering the workforce, people who wish they hadn't entered the workforce Fans of the @disappointingaffirmations Instagram account Anyone who isn't always cheerful and doesn't feel seen Fans of satire and sarcastic humor Anyone feeling burnout, empathy fatigue, positivity fatigue, or fatigue in general
Trash Animals
Celebrating our imperfections, with trash pandas, rebel raccoons, rescue pigeons, and more!Move over Grumpy Cat and Lil Bub, there's a new mammal in town. "Pumpkin the Raccoon" has 1.5 million followers on Instagram, "Starfish the Opossum" 130,000, and "Gizmo the Skunk" 35,000 and counting. Instead of shooing them away as pests, the Internet-savvy are welcoming these creatures--once seen as the weirdos, the jaded, the unloved. According to the New York Times, it has surpassed a zeitgeist phenomenon; it's now a social movement. Move over cute, fluffy animals of yesteryear--this is the era of the eccentric outsider, the jaded rogue. Trash animals are making their way into the headlines ... and into our hearts.Featuring: - Trash Animals--Who Are They? Meet and greet opossums, skunks, bats, raccoons, squirrels, pigeons, rats, badgers, and more- In the News. Meet the Vermin-fluencers. We're used to seeing them in the trash, but these days you're more likely to see them in your Instagram feed. From profiles of Celebrity Vermin to Newsworthy Stunts like subway-riding pigeons and skunks performing handstands- Discover Your Spirit Trash Animal Quiz- Literary Animal Outsiders- Wildlife Protectors- Trash Animal Trading Cards- Fun FactsFull of charming full-color illustrations and plenty of mischief throughout, Trash Animals includes everything you could ever want to know about these lovable rogues!
Celebrity Turds- A Crappy Alphabet Book
Ever wondered what Adam Sandler's poop would look like? Or if Beyonc矇's bowel movements sparkle like her stage presence? No? Well... now you will.From A to Z, this gloriously immature picture book takes you on a flushable journey through the bathroom habits of America's most iconic celebrities - as imagined by people who definitely need more fiber and supervision.Each page hilariously combines your favorite stars with lovingly illustrated turds that reflect their personality, style, and unforgettable roles. It's absurd, inappropriate, and surprisingly artistic.Warning: This book contains high levels of crap. Handle with humor.
Cat-Astrophe 2026 7 X 7 Mini Wall Calendar
CAT-ASTROPHE - Laugh out loud with monthly feline culprits who manage to turn the blame game around with their irresistible charm.
Simon's Cat 2026 7 X 7 Mini Wall Calendar
ANIMATED ANTICS - Simon's Cat, a YouTube sensation, is all about the mischiefs of a chunky house cat, his doting owner Simon, and the various characters they meet.
How the Rhino Lost His Horn
Growing up, Jack had heard all about the supposed virtues of the modern world. Connectivity, convenience. But from where he stands in small-town America, those promises ring hollow. With college (and a lifetime of debt) looming, he goes with the oldest trick in the quarter-life-crisis-haver's playbook: If in doubt, go to Africa to save the children. What could go wrong?Quite a bit, it turns out. In Cape Town, he's thrown into a backwards, lawless world, one of bloodthirst and betrayal - and that's just among his fellow volunteers. The local wildlife, meanwhile, don't turn out to be much more welcoming.Yet something about this place keeps pulling him back. Jack's adventures over the next few years challenge everything he thought he knew, revealing the forces shaping both South Africa and the world at large.
Mewvie Cats 2026 12 X 12 Wall Calendar
FURRY BLOCKBUSTERS - The Mewvie Cats 2026 calendar brings hilariously purr-fect parodies of iconic films, featuring feline stars in whimsical illustrations that will delight movie buffs and cat lovers alike. Each month is a new paws-itively clever cinematic pun, guaranteed to make you smile.
What Would Mrs. Claus Do?
Storyteller, baker, reindeer trainer, singer, and second-most famous North Pole resident, Mrs. Claus has lived for centuries and she is now ready to share her wisdom with readers. With a twinkle in her eye, a dash of mischief, and the warmest heart, she's been a guardian and caretaker of the dreams and wishes of many through the ages. No matter how big you get, or how old you grow to be, Mrs. Claus still looks out for you, and knows that the holidays, and life, can feel overwhelming. She's here to answer your questions, remind you you're never alone, and to help you remember: Where there is a Wish, there is a Way. In the genre of What Would Grace, Dolly or Audrey DO, comes a charming little gift book for the holidays. Based on the wisdom of the "First Lady of Christmas", just in time for a great year for Mrs. Claus as she makes a theatrical debut in Mrs. Claus and is the star of the show in the holiday Netflix film Mrs. Claus starring Jennifer Garner.
Iconic: Chappell
ICONIC: Chappell is a bold, visual journey through the rise of one of the world's most beloved new pop stars. Charting her meteoric rise to fame, her sold-out shows and inimitable outfits, as well as her more personal moments like being dropped by her record label, this beautiful gift book offers a jam-packed, photographic insight into the Red Wine Supernova singer's most memorable moments to date. Divided into 50 moments accompanied by striking photography of the musician, ICONIC: Chappell celebrates the midwestern princess in all her glittering glory.
Jack Sh*t 3
"They got some old timers here, you know, Ba? It's a Jewish place."So said Jack Friedman, my father, after moving into the Tulsa Jewish Retirement Center, later known as Zarrow Pointe-but to him it was "The Hebrew Home."We'll go with that. In Jack Sh*t 3: I'm the Father-the third installment of a 4-part trilogy-we are reminded that the world is Jack Friedman's oyster . . . or more accurately, Jack Friedman's scrambled egg on a soft roll. It's always been "The Jack Friedman Show."Those in and around his life-the owners of "Owl Head" Bagels, the doctors at the VA, the waitresses he hoped would never know the "horror of stretch marks," the woman he was "running with," his daughter (who he called "that woman from Long Island"), and his sons, including yours truly-were his studio audience.He knew his part; we knew ours.His dementia created moments of confusion and sadness ("Where's your mother, Ba, where's your mother?") but when the synapses were firing, his takes on longevity, IRS audits, bosom areas, and the possibilities of dairy products were the stuff of scholars and philosophers."What do they want from my life, Ba?""I don't know what to tell you, Dad.""Don't get so shook up. My question's academic."
The Little Book of Rude Jokes
Ready to spice up your comedy game? This tiny tome is the ultimate collection of rude jokes that'll have you and your friends rolling on the floor with laughter and maybe blushing a little, too! This pocket-sized compendium is your backstage pass to the world of cheeky humour, filled with outrageous punchlines and wickedly funny one-liners that push the boundaries of traditional comedy. From witty observations to playful innuendos, every page is packed with jokes that are perfect for parties, gatherings or just a good old laugh when you need it most. Whether you're a comedy connoisseur or just looking to lighten the mood, this book is a treasure trove of hilarity that guarantees to tickle your funny bone. So kick off your shoes, gather your friends and get ready to unleash a wave of laughter that's as bold and irreverent as it gets - because life's too short not to laugh a little dirty! SAMPLE CONTENT: What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?Snowballs. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two. But you have to wonder how they got in there. Why did the ghost go to rehab?He was addicted to boos. Did you hear about the two bald guys who put their heads together?They made an ass out of themselves! Did you hear about the man who got his fingers caught in a bra?It was a booby trap.
Disasterpiece Theatre
Disasterpiece Theatre: The Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario BookWhat if the curtain rose on the most catastrophic version of your day-and you had to improvise your way to a laugh? Welcome to Disasterpiece Theatre, a riotous parody of survival guides and a replayable party book that turns panic into punchlines. Designed for solo fun or groups, it's a conversation-starting, ice-breaking, creativity-boosting romp through calamity... on purpose.Inside you'll find: 120 outrageous worst-case scenarios across ten themed "acts," escalating from mildly chaotic to gloriously unhinged.Each scene comes with four quick beats: a cinematic prompt to set the stage, a witty Reflection that nudges perspective, a sharable Challenge for game-night dares, and a true Fun Fact that adds a surprising twist.Flexible formats for party games, team icebreakers, date nights, road trips, classrooms, and writers' rooms-anywhere you want instant energy and laughter.How to play (no prep required): Open to any page, read the scene, and decide what you'd do as everything goes hilariously wrong. Vote, debate, act it out, or keep score-your rules. The fun scales from two people to a crowd, making it perfect for holidays, game nights, retreats, and book clubs.Who it's for: Fans of humour and parody, lovers of improv and party games, creators seeking story sparks, and anyone who enjoys witty disaster with zero real-world consequences.Why it works: By reframing catastrophe with comedy, Disasterpiece Theatre helps groups loosen up, think laterally, and bond fast-turning "What now?!" into "We got this."Note: This is humour and satire. The scenarios are fictional and not safety guidance or professional advice.If you're craving a fresh, giftable conversation starter-something that lives on the coffee table, travels in your tote, and lights up every gathering-raise the curtain. The show must go hilariously on.
The Day Job Survival Handbook
Congrats! And... condolences. You're about to embark on the thrilling adventure of white-collar life: endless emails, relentless calendar invites, and the slow drip of lukewarm coffee straight into your soul. Today you're bright-eyed and eager, tomorrow you're a hollowed-out husk who once dreamed of meaning.That's where The Day Job Survival Handbook comes in. Having slogged through a parade of gigs, Matt Visconage (UCB, The Onion) has built up the skills-and yes, the bandwidth-to help you endure the work-life balance where work is life and life is work. Packed with tricks to decode office absurdities, this is your only shield against the humiliations of steady employment.Welcome to cubicle country: a land of passive-aggressive Post-its, meetings-that-should've-been-emails, and the quiet horror of free cake in the break room.The Day Job Survival Handbook arms you with the wit, wisdom, and mild rebellion you'll need to navigate the corporate jungle-and maybe even survive it.Grab your coffee, grit your teeth-let's circle back.
This Book Is Literally Just Pictures of Cute Dogs That Will Bring You Joy
Feel all the feels with this collection of the planet's cutest dogs. Just like Einstein's theory of general relativity, it is a well-known fact of the universe that there is nothing cuter than a dog. Wet noses, waggy tails, floppy ears, and puppy eyes are best in show in this latest edition of This Book Is Literally Just . . . the perfect anecdote for anyone who's having a woof-ful day. Remember, the only paw-purse you need in life is to love a dog and have that love returned. And if you can't have a dog, This Books Is Literally Just Pictures of Cute Dogs That Will Bring You Joy is the next best thing.
