The Florida Club
Have you ever driven by a classy, gated community and wondered what the hell is going on in there? Perfect for fans of the Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly, which gave the reader a behind-the-scenes view of the inner workings of the New York City restaurant scene, The Florida Club offers an inside look at country club living in a gated Florida community. In 2019, with his partners mired in legal trouble and danger closing in, New York businessman Ray Brown decided on a major life change, trading the frenzied world of New York real estate for a relaxed life of leisure in Southwest Florida. The Florida Club follows Ray's story as he acclimates to his new environment and learns about the golf, socializing-and partying-that goes on inside the Florida club. The gated communities in the Sunshine State are full of more than just bunch of stuffy old blue-hairs sitting around playing bridge and waiting for a dirt nap. Others are playing golf, drinking everything they can get their grubby little hands on, and doing pretty much anything and everything to offend the snooty members without getting bounced from the club. Their exploits will amuse, inform, appall, and make you wish you could be one of them. Even if you're skeptical, please buy the book anyhow. It won't take too long to read, and we could really use the money; our bar tab has gotten out of control.
Brain Teasers and Riddles for Kids
Dive into a world of mind-bending challenges with "The Ultimate Brain Teasers and Riddles Collection"! Whether you're solo or with friends, ignite your intellect with 200 captivating riddles and brainteasers. Perfect for all ages, these puzzles are designed to sharpen your wits and spark creative thinking. Challenge yourself with a variety of riddle types, from logic puzzles to wordplay wonders. Engage in quality family time by exploring these enigmas together. With helpful hints available at the click of a button, every puzzle offers a chance for growth and fun. Discover: "How is this possible?" conundrums Lateral thinking puzzles Logic challenges Word riddles "Think out of the box" mysteries "What am I?" teasers Math enigmas This book ensures: 100% family-friendly content Enjoyment for adults too Clues for persistent puzzlers Hours of entertainment Embark on an adventure of mental prowess and delight. Add "The Ultimate Brain Teasers and Riddles Collection" to your cart now and unlock a world of endless fascination!.
The Florida Club
Have you ever driven by a classy, gated community and wondered what the hell is going on in there? Perfect for fans of the Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly, which gave the reader a behind-the-scenes view of the inner workings of the New York City restaurant scene, The Florida Club offers an inside look at country club living in a gated Florida community. In 2019, with his partners mired in legal trouble and danger closing in, New York businessman Ray Brown decided on a major life change, trading the frenzied world of New York real estate for a relaxed life of leisure in Southwest Florida. The Florida Club follows Ray's story as he acclimates to his new environment and learns about the golf, socializing-and partying-that goes on inside the Florida club. The gated communities in the Sunshine State are full of more than just bunch of stuffy old blue-hairs sitting around playing bridge and waiting for a dirt nap. Others are playing golf, drinking everything they can get their grubby little hands on, and doing pretty much anything and everything to offend the snooty members without getting bounced from the club. Their exploits will amuse, inform, appall, and make you wish you could be one of them. Even if you're skeptical, please buy the book anyhow. It won't take too long to read, and we could really use the money; our bar tab has gotten out of control.
Unveiling Social Media
Social media: a breeding ground for connection, entertainment, and... deception. Lies and misinformation lurk in the shadows, disguised as headlines, memes, and even seemingly harmless posts. But fear not, truth-seekers! Here's your guide to unmasking these digital disguises. Question the Source: Who posted it? Are they a trusted news organization or a random account? Dig deeper! Fact-Check, Don't Fast-Forward: Don't let emotions hijack your reason. Take a moment to verify claims through established fact-checking websites. Look Beyond the Like: Emotional appeals and sensational headlines are often red flags. Focus on factual evidence, not just how it makes you feel. Reverse Image Search: A suspicious picture? Search it online to see where else it appears and if the context has been manipulated. Be Wary of Outrage: Content designed to enrage is often misleading. Pause and consider the underlying intent before sharing. Remember, a healthy dose of skepticism is your social media superpower. By questioning, verifying, and staying informed, you can navigate the online world with confidence and expose the lies for what they truly are: figments of a fabricated reality.
Dadkus
A unique collection of haikus, and every poem is a dad joke. The book is sure to delight not just those who enjoy poetry, but also those who enjoy torturing family and friends with puns, wordplay, and groan-inducing jokes. Laughter and eye rolls for the whole family, each haiku follows the traditional five-seven-five syllable count.
I Shouldn't Be Telling You This
A NATIONAL BESTSELLER"I could not put this book down. It's so funny" -Ru Paul"I LOVE this book for its honesty and dark (and light!) comedy" -Rachel Dratch (Instagram)"It's f*cking great!!! Raw, intimate, hilarious, actually inspiring." -Jon StewartA RECOMMENDED READ FROM: NPR * PUREWOW * USWEEKLY * PEOPLE * BUSTLE * SHEREADS * NYLON * BOOKRIOT * AND MOREThe dynamic memoir-in-essays by comedian, screenwriter, and podcaster Chelsea Devantez, detailing her tumultuous upbringing and uproarious career path into Hollywood.There are things Chelsea Devantez probably shouldn't be telling you. Many of them are in this book: some are embarrassing (like when she tried to break her three year spell of celibacy using a guide of seduction tips). Some are confessional (getting sentenced to the "hell hill" at Mormon church camp). Some are TMI (a series of outrageous doctor visits that ended with one doctor misdiagnosing her as "pregnant." Woopsies!).Then there are things Chelsea really shouldn't be telling you: like the time her biggest family secret was publicly outed, or about the drive-by shootings and the precipitating domestic violence she survived. Yet through it all, it's the women in Chelsea's life who kept her going - from the lowest points of her childhood when she and her mom had only $100 left to their name, all the way to her career highs as the Emmy-nominated Head Writer for The Problem with Jon Stewart and sensational podcaster deemed "the celebrity memoir whisperer" by her fans. In I Shouldn't Be Telling You This, Chelsea centers each story around a different woman who shaped her life, taking us on a tour of friends and strangers, fictional characters and celebrities, heroes and villains who will destroy any Netflix algorithm for a "strong female lead." Reading it will feel kinda like that moment at a party when your friend beckons you close, sloshes her martini around, and covertly whispers, "I really shouldn't say this, but..."
On Wahoo Reef
Wally Breight's a miserable-in-his-job P.R. executive who dreams of escaping to happily-ever-after in the Caribbean. When he stumbles across a run-down scuba diving operation for sale on Blacktip Island, he snaps it up and settles into paradise. But paradise has other ideas. His dive boat's a lemon. His business partner proves the age of piracy isn't dead. Scuba guests are scarce. And a free-spirited dive mistress might party him into an early grave. If Wally can't get a handle on paradise, pronto, he'll be leaving Blacktip Island faster than a coconut in a hurricane.
The Snarling Girl and Other Essays
In sixteen essays published over the past decade, acclaimed novelist Elisa Albert considers everything from the creative process to reproductive justice, ambition to Ani DiFranco, Judaism to the ethos of punk, all in the midst of making a home in the strange city of Albany, New York.With wit and wariness, skepticism and surrender, this collection offers a first-of-its-kind window into the life and mind of an author Shalom Auslander once called "Bukowski with a vagina and a motherf*cker of a hangover."Whether writing about doula training, struggling to embroider local community, art vs commerce, antisemitism, or growing up in the shadow of Hollywood, Albert is heartfelt, rigorous, and delightfully self-aware.
Got Warrants?
For the hundreds of thousands of followers of the Bangor, Maine, Police Department on social media, the "Got Warrants?" feature brings a regular dose of levity. Pulled straight from daily reports, these short interludes provide a welcome spin on the standard police log. Collected here is a fresh batch of all-true police-related hijinks.Poking fun at human nature and turning ne'er-do-wells into sages of silliness, Got Warrants? reminds us all to step back, take a deep breath, and try not to take things so seriously.
Short Sweet & Uplifting
Do you feel like all the sad, miserable news gets you down?Short, Sweet, and Uplifting is a smorgasbord of amusing and uplifting stories to help you smile, even when the world seems bleak. This book provides a variety of stories that are aimed at providing an uplifting, positive view on the world. Most of the stories are set within the 21st century, making it relevant to modern readers. This is a book about being kind in a world that regularly encourages us all to look into our screens, rather than engaging with other people. It will change your perspective on the world!Short, Sweet, and Uplifting is a literary treasure trove crafted to whisk you away to a world of joy and optimism. In these pages, you'll find an exquisite blend of tales that transcend age, gender, and background, making it a perfect read for everyone, from kids to grandparents. Whether you're seeking a brief escape from the everyday grind or simply craving a dose of positivity, this delightful book will leave you feeling uplifted and inspired.This book contains: - Acts of generosity and kindness from people over the last two hundred years.- Modern improvements in communities across the world, helping access to the basics many of us take for granted.- Humorous stories that focus on the positive messages found within, instead of poking fun at individual people. Embark on a heartwarming journey filled with love, laughter, and inspiration as we unveil Short, Sweet, and Uplifting - a collection of enchanting stories that will warm your soul and put a smile on your face. Let the stories within remind you that even in the shortest moments, there's room for boundless joy and inspiration.Get ready to laugh, cry, and rediscover the magic of everyday life!
Dad’s Gone Mad!
Dad's Gone Mad!: Volume I is a "punderful" collection of 151 original, never before published dad jokes. Each pun, prank, parody, or passage comes from the wacky mind of a father driven mad while raising three wonderful kids! If you're looking for hundreds of AI mass-produced jokes just keep on going. This book is about quality, not quantity. You won't find any old overused gags you've seen a million times on the internet here either. Inside you'll discover my fresh corny takes on old ideas, some punch lines you see coming from a mile away and others that catch you totally by surprise, and puns galore. In addition, just for fun each page is illustrated to add to the enjoyment of the material. Whether for yourself or for the wannabe comedian in your life, Dad's Gone Mad!: Volume I will provide laughs, chuckles, occasional groans, and enjoyment that you can share time and again with family, friends, and co-workers. Available in both paperback and eBook format it's also a terrific gift for any occasion! Be sure to check all volumes of the Dad's Gone Mad! Series for eye-rolling jokes and entertainment you won't find anywhere else.
100 Places to See After You Die
From New York Times bestselling author and legendary Jeopardy! host and champion Ken Jennings comes a hilarious travel guide to the afterlife, exploring to die for destinations from literature, mythology, and pop culture. Ever wonder which circles of Dante's Inferno have the nicest accommodations? Where's the best place to grab a bite to eat in the ancient Egyptian underworld? How does one dress like a local in the heavenly palace of Hinduism's Lord Vishnu, or avoid the flesh-eating river serpents in the Klingon afterlife? What hidden treasures can be found off the beaten path in Hades, Valhalla, or TV's The Good Place? Find answers to all those questions and more about the world(s) to come in this eternally entertaining book from Ken Jennings. Written in the style of iconic bestselling travel guides, Jennings wryly outlines journeys through the afterlife, as dreamed up over 5,000 years of human history by our greatest prophets, poets, mystics, artists, and TV showrunners. This comprehensive index of 100 different afterlife destinations was meticulously researched from sources ranging from the Epic of Gilgamesh to modern-day pop songs, video games, and Simpsons episodes. Get ready for whatever post-mortal destiny awaits you, whether it's an astral plane, a Hieronymus Bosch hellscape, or the baseball diamond from Field of Dreams. Fascinating, funny, and irreverent, this "gung-ho travel guide to Heaven, Hell, and beyond" (The New Yorker) will help you create your very own bucket list--for after you've kicked the bucket.
"Happy Hours" at the Newsroom Jazz Club
This book is a fun filled (sometimes serious) collection of jokes, poems, memos. These pages are from a humorous collection of adult underground jokes and office memos. There are a few of my favorite humorous poems in here. I hope you find these jokes and memos as humorous, enjoyable and will laugh as much as I did. If you like this book, so will your friends. Send a copy of this book as a gift to your favorite person.
True Facts That Sound Like Bull$#*t: Nature
Get ready to be bamboozled by nature's most bizarre, hilarious, and utterly astonishing secrets that will make you say, "Bull$#*t!"Say hello to the astonishing natural world with this mind-boggling collection of downright unbelievable facts that will have you doing double-takes at every turn. This captivating compendium is your ticket to exploring the wackiest secrets Mother Nature has up her sleeve. From the outrageous mating rituals of exotic creatures to the perplexing phenomena of Earth's wildest landscapes, True Facts That Sound Like Bull$#*t: Nature covers a vast array of topics that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about our planet. Each fact has been researched and verified, ensuring that even the most skeptical readers will be left in awe. Perfect for trivia buffs, nature enthusiasts, and anyone who loves a good laugh, this engaging and entertaining book is an incredible addition to your library.Inside you'll find facts like: The world's largest living organism is a mushroom that covers over 2,200 acres in Oregon.A single mature oak tree can drop up to 200,000 leaves in the fall.As a defense mechanism, some sea cucumbers expel their internal organs along with a toxic substance to deter predators. They can regenerate the lost organs within a few weeks.The tongue of a blue whale can weigh as much as an elephant.Vultures have stomach acid so strong that it can dissolve metal and kill harmful bacteria found in their carrion meals.Buckle up and prepare for a wild ride through the most fascinating, outlandish, and utterly mind-blowing corners of the natural world. You'll never look at nature the same way again!
Pressure Point
Anyone who reads, watches, or listens to the news these days knows that the political perspective on life events - and especially ecological disasters - can be unconvincing at best. The responses and opinions offered by some politicians range from platitudes to propaganda, and often look more like efforts to besmirch the reputations of their political opponents than attempts to discover the truth behind a calamity. But what if they went off-script and told us what they really think? Or better yet, what they really know?Pressure Point: A series of mishandled events is a lighthearted look at how environmental news stories might be framed if our politicians threw off the shackles of protocol, public relations, and party dogma and let their inside voices run amuck. I hope you find the interviews entertaining and thought-provoking.
Aliens about Humans
Every seasoned alien infiltrator who has ever had to operate undercover as a human will concur: humans are not an easy species to make sense of. Their behaviours and interactions are mostly contradictory. Their codes, traditions, and beliefs are utterly bizarre. Should you, fellow alien, ever have to go undercover as a human, make sure to read this manual first.ALIENS ABOUT HUMANS: The Undercover Alien's Handbook on Successful Infiltration offers an extraterrestrial perspective on human society through a blend of dark comedy and sharp satire. This parody manual for aliens humorously explains in a pseudo-scientific way how humans work and think, and how an undercover alien should navigate all the peculiarities and dysfunctions of humanity to avoid being compromised. By viewing the world through an alien lens, it exposes inconsistencies and flaws in everything from everyday items we take for granted to ethical norms, religion, and societal structures.Born from the popular Twitter account Aliens About Humans (@HumansExplained), known for its blunt and humorous takes, this book develops the ongoing gag about the fictitious alien infiltrator Zorn and introduces new characters in a hilarious side story, enhancing the cultural misunderstandings and satirical commentary its fans adore. If you relish the wit of Douglas Adams's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the blunt buffoonery of Diane Morgan's Philomena Cunk, this parody and satire novel is your ticket to a refreshing and brutally disarming view of humanity from an alien viewpoint.
Turkish Delight
Join in on a week filled with laughter, romance, colourful cocktails and language, and honest conversations between good friends + just a little bit of craziness!Maya, Charlotte, June and Cecilia have been friends for more than 20 years and have shared each other's ups and downs throughout life. Now that they're in their 40s, they have decided to go on a holiday to Turkey together. A country none of them have travelled in before. We cross paths with the girls while they're getting ready for their holiday and they invite us to tag along for a week of sun and fun in the beautiful coastal town of Cennet. Together, they have to find their way in a country and a culture that's like nothing they've ever experienced. Throughout their week together, they create lasting memories and uncover surprising, unexpected, and shocking aspects of each other. Because why is the shy Cecilia so much more tense and uptight than usual? What does the perfect Charlotte hide from her husband - and from her friends? Will the fun-loving Maya overcome her insecurities, what is the confident June's big secret, and is something going to happen with Haci, the cute waiter from the restaurant? And last but not least: What the heck is Turkish Delight?!____________________________________________________________A WORD FROM THE AUTHOR: Turkish Delight is a story that is highly inspired from nearly 20 years of escapades and observations during holidays in Turkey. That means that the overall vibe of this book most likely will feel very familiar and relatable to many others who have been on holiday in lovely Turkey (or other similar places), AND are on the "wrinkly" side of their 40s.;-)We have all experienced relaxing holiday moods, lovely trips to the beach, and a lot of fun and laughter with friends and family. But, because of these real-life components in the narrative, this book also contains loads of alcohol, cheesy and tacky humour, swear words, and a lot of banter between good friends. Is this book for you?In all honesty ... If you normally don't find this type of literature funny or/and entertaining, this book is probably not for you, and I would advise against reading it.;-) However! If you normally enjoy this type of story, you will most likely totally love this sunny feel-good holiday adventure.
Dearly Befuddled
For those who find life mysterious and lovely, filled with both gut-wrenching despair and gut-shaking humor, Dearly Befuddled offers a collection of essays delving into the vastness of human experience and imagination. Written by Katherine Finstuen and illustrated by Jessica Lyman Finstuen, this follow-up to their first collaborative effort, Those Who Can't Do, will once again elicit laughter, poignancy, thought, and a sense of wonder.
Those Who Can't Do
Celebrating a love of the quirk and despair we all experience in this odd thing called life, Those Who Can't Do is a collection of essays combining humor with more serious reflections on the nature of existence. Many of the essays explore the often bizarre world of teaching while maintaining one's sanity and creativity. The simple pen and ink drawings provided by the author's sister-in-law (another teacher) prove a wonderful accompaniment to the pieces. Readers who can enjoy both the absurdity and beauty of life will delight in both the words and pictures comprising this unique collection.
Knotted
In the heart of New Zealand's breathtaking landscapes, "Knotted" by Michelle Holman unfolds a compelling tale of love, loss, and unexpected connections. When Daneka Lawton's world crumbles following the death of her twin sister, she's left to navigate the complexities of grief while caring for her niece and nephew. Her life, already knotted with challenges, tangles further with the arrival of a stranger from across the seas-Ross Fabello, a man with a claim to her family she can neither ignore nor accept.As Daneka and Ross clash, their lives become as intertwined as the very knots they struggle to untie. Holman weaves a story rich with humour, emotional depth, and the promise of new beginnings. Set against the stunning backdrop of semi-rural New Zealand, "Knotted" invites readers into a world where the past and present collide, secrets unravel, and love finds a way through the most tangled of circumstances.Dive into "Knotted" and experience a journey of healing, the power of family, and the unexpected ways love can reforge broken bonds.
Our Teacher Ate Our Homework!
Is your teacher acting a bit... off?One day, she's assigning homework; the next, she's munching on it like a snack! What could possibly drive a dedicated educator to such lengths? Could it be the endless grading, the chorus of "I forgot my pencil," or perhaps Johnny's latest classroom antics?My Teacher Ate My Homework is a side-splitting tribute to the unsung heroes of the classroom. Through whimsical rhymes and playful illustrations, this book offers a peek into the delightful chaos teachers navigate daily.Perfect for: Teacher Appreciation Week giftsEnd-of-year classroom surprisesBack-to-school humorRead-alouds that spark laughter and discussionIf you and your little ones enjoyed Our Class is a Family, you'll adore this humorous take on the teacher-student dynamic.Reader Discretion: This book might just be more relatable (and hilarious) for adults than kids! "A hilarious story that EVERY teacher will relate to!" -Ryan, Teacher KS"A phenomenal book to thank teachers!" Joslyn, Parent/Teacher AZ"A book that will capture EVER child's attention! Brilliant!" -Marilynn, Parent TN"A reality of the life of a teacher!" -Ashley, Teacher OH"A perfect book to teach kids about the love their teacher has for them too!" -Brienne, Parent/Teacher OK
Just Another Dick
Just Another Dick, The Presumptuous Memoir of a Truly Unimportant Person is the riotous story of a man who started at the bottom as a jerk of all trades, made all the wrong choices, but eventually rose to respectability in an unconventional way. Dick's adventures, or misadventures, began when he was kicked out of college, went to work in Atlantic City tending bar before he was old enough to legally drink, had a sixteen-hour engagement, spent two wacky years in the Army in post WWII Germany, ran a car and motorcycle racetrack, talked his way into a respectable career in radio sales, eventually becoming the youngest General Manager of a New York City radio station. He also worked for Ed Koch in his successful campaign for Congress before starting an advertising agency with his wife that morphed into the music industry's premier go-to agency.Just Another Dick's story is about an exceptional life, in a bygone era, humorously told, with its many bumps along the way. It's a beautiful (and funny!) illustration of how a mid-twentieth century young man took the road less traveled, and still ended up where he wanted to be. Proving that if he can do it, anyone can.
The Saints of John's Two-Mass
When I read that John makes straight the way for the lords of life to come before him. I thought this passage was referring to the late "straight-shooting" senator John McCain. That was my asinine assumption until I saw President Barack Obama use the name and tall stature of his secretary of state to figuratively demonstrate to the entire world that his tall John is Kerry.As I watched the Kerry moon washing its tone white with a D-crescent to reveal the hunchback moon-child on fortnights before restoring its dark tone with a C-crescent. I felt the need to scour the town of Washington DC to home in on the late John Adams, he second US president to to rule over many a damsel in distress from the temptation of the biblical snake.Please uncoil like a snake and join me on this literary journey to watch Merlin, magically mimic the Moon Roe, by pulling a jack rabbit like John Kennedy, from the rich man's upside down tall tan hat.To ken why all gracious Johns rise and fall, like the Kennedys rise and fall, I had to contract the help of detective John Shaft, the hardest working dick on the force to copulate and place the pole's icemen therein his piss toll on the streets, like bullets from his pistol.Detective John Shaft, discovered detective John McClane shouting, "Yippee ki-yay motherfucker" with a cocked gun that goes off bang-bang and shoot 'em up in air-ports, like a clan of macs in his piss toll.
The View From Out Back
The word "Essay" comes from the French, "Essai" which means a "try" or an "attempt". The "attempts" contained in this collection are random tries at capturing a moment, an observation or an elusive thought. They're meant to be read individually and not as one single, beautifully flowing narrative. They're offered as they came to me, sometimes suddenly and sometimes over a number of years. I've tried to capture ideas and to demonstrate a remarkable phenomenon: That what is obvious to some is big news to everybody else.
The Dhammapada
The DHAMMAPADA is a collection of sayings of the Buddha in verse form and one of the most widely read and best known Buddhist scriptures. The original version of the DHAMMAPADA is in the Khuddaka Nikaya, a division of the Pali Canon of Theravada Buddhism.The Buddhist scholar and commentator Buddhaghosa explains that each saying recorded in the collection was made on a different occasion in response to a unique situation that had arisen in the life of the Buddha and his monastic community. His commentary, the Dhammapada Atthakatha, presents the details of these events and is a rich source of legend for the life and times of the Buddha.
The Saints of John's Two-Mass
When I read that John makes straight the way for the lords of life to come before him. I thought this passage was referring to the late "straight-shooting" senator John McCain. That was my asinine assumption until I saw President Barack Obama use the name and tall stature of his secretary of state to figuratively demonstrate to the entire world that his tall John is Kerry.As I watched the Kerry moon washing its tone white with a D-crescent to reveal the hunchback moon-child on fortnights before restoring its dark tone with a C-crescent. I felt the need to scour the town of Washington DC to home in on the late John Adams, he second US president to to rule over many a damsel in distress from the temptation of the biblical snake.Please uncoil like a snake and join me on this literary journey to watch Merlin, magically mimic the Moon Roe, by pulling a jack rabbit like John Kennedy, from the rich man's upside down tall tan hat.To ken why all gracious Johns rise and fall, like the Kennedys rise and fall, I had to contract the help of detective John Shaft, the hardest working dick on the force to copulate and place the pole's icemen therein his piss toll on the streets, like bullets from his pistol.Detective John Shaft, discovered detective John McClane shouting, "Yippee ki-yay motherfucker" with a cocked gun that goes off bang-bang and shoot 'em up in air-ports, like a clan of macs in his piss toll.
I Pissed In Some Guy's Bottle Of...
The Only Memoir That Doubles As a Self-Help BookYou might think I Pissed In Some Guy's Bottle Of.... is just another stupid memoir written by some guy trying to get his rocks off. But Leslie's life story is more a how-to book than autobiography-one packed with everything a person needs to right life's wrongs.Inside you'll learn how to get even with jerks, how to get the last laugh on somebody who thought they got it, and how to stick it to the man. And that's just three of the practical life lessons found in this book. Don't even try to imagine the others unless you've also been caught counterfeiting, gone to a prostitute and came home a virgin, or lied to your psychiatrist like Leslie has.If you've ever been pissed off, it's time to read I Pissed In Some Guy's Bottle Of.... And as an added incentive to start right now, the author promises an ending that will leave you speechless.
I Was Hoping to Age Like a Fine Wine But I'm Feeling More Like an Avocado
I Was Hoping to Age Like a Fine Wine But I'm Feeling More Like an Avocado is a compilation of true stories about getting older, parenting, grandparenting, moving, and trying to purge decades worth of stuff. In this, her third book, Marlene Kern Fischer writes about the annoying memory lapses that come with aging and how she and her husband frequently play tag-team-recall to piece together things they've forgotten. She discusses how getting older requires grace, humor, and good friends who understand where you're at because they're there also. Citing her feisty mother-in-law as an example of thriving in old age, Marlene offers practical suggestions on how to keep going even when everything hurts. Having made the decision to move from the house in which she raised her family, Marlene optimistically begins to whittle down her alarmingly abundant array of stuff, which include her kids' artwork and items from her own childhood. With a dumpster to motivate her, she starts purging, only to find the process daunting and seemingly endless. Simultaneously, the construction of their new home unfolds as a comedy of errors, plagued by unmet promises from the initial contractor and uninvited geese. Amidst the chaos reminiscent of a Money Pit scenario, Marlene endeavors to maintain her sanity with a newfound hobby in crocheting, albeit with less-than-stellar results, while her husband tries different approaches to get the geese to leave. As a mother of three sons, Marlene is thrilled when she learns she is going to be a grandmother. Will it be a boy or a girl? What will the baby call her? These questions, along with how things have changed since she had her own kids, are explored in the chapter "Journey Towards Grandparenthood." With her trademark wit and relatable stories, many of which originally appeared on her Facebook blog Thoughts From Aisle 4, Marlene welcomes you into her world which might feel a lot like your own. I Was Hoping to Age Like a Fine Wine But Am Feeling More Like an Avocado is your ticket to laughs, tears, and everything in between - whether you're lounging on a beach or cozied up at home.
How to Baby
A wryly personal and deeply relatable graphic memoir skewering the "traditional" parenting book to chronicle the absurdities, frustrations, and soaring joys of new parenthood--from the acclaimed New Yorker cartoonist and authorA NEW YORKER BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR How do you know if you're ready to have a baby? How do you know if you might be pregnant? And how do you deal with peeing all the time and being hungry all the time and fielding well-meaning but kind of insulting advice and finding a doula and being dropped by your old friends and learning why it's called mom brain and not dad brain and the tyranny of the milestones you're not meeting and negotiating boundaries with in-laws and realizing that your heart now exists outside of your chest and in the body of this tiny little being whose entire existence depends on the quality of your care? To tackle these questions and many others, award-winning cartoonist and memoirist Liana Finck began illustrating her early years of motherhood, giving images and language to her insecurities, frustrations, and wild joy. In How to Baby, Liana takes her witty and lacerating cartoons ("Hobbies for Pregnant Women: Waiting on Hold with the Insurance Company") and weaves them together with comic essays ("You Married a Brute. Worse. You're a Nag: Go Ahead and Argue with Each Other"), handy lists ("Nesting. The Comprehensive List of What to Buy and Why Getting Things Used Is Dangerous and Unamerican"), and profound observations. Together, these brilliant pieces form an immersive and comprehensive narrative whole--a baby book, a resource, and an emotional balm--for our time.
Your Dream Home Book
From the creator of HBO's hit series "How To with John Wilson" comes a new book exploring the dark and very questionable choices behind Zillow listings."Your Dream Home" is a collection of screenshots from real estate listings that John Wilson took between 2020 and 2024.
Self-Made Men
Stephen Leacock headed the political science and economics departments at McGill University in Toronto and established a notable reputation as an academic economist. He also wrote humorous essays. Many of his friends presumed he wrote them in idle moments when his wearied brain was unable to perform the serious labors of the economist. In fact, it was exactly the opposite. He found it no challenge to write instructive, academic stuff fortified by facts and figures, but to write something straight out of one's mind that was worth reading for its own sake was an arduous contrivance that he claims he only accomplished in fortunate moments.Yet somehow between the years 1915 and 1925, Leacock became the most popular humorist in the English speaking world. He consistently forced belly laughter by poking fun at people's foolish acts and ideas and excelled at adroitly balancing cutting satire with over-the-top absurdity. In one way or another, these six Leacock essays humorously address the perception of success in life, primarily as it pertains to wealth and health. As Leacock tells it, the successful pursuit of wealth or health tends to distort how people perceive themselves, a distortion that might be remedied if they were to add the undisciplined intake of food, smoke, and drink into their lives. As this example shows, Leacock's satire is too far over the top to be mean-spirited. It never descends into harsh analysis of the human condition. In absurdity he found the key to poking fun at the human condition in a way that appeals to everyone, including the specific segments of the population being targeted with his satire.
Funny France
Get ready to embark on a side-splitting adventure through the land of baguettes and berets! In this delightful book, embark on a whimsical adventure through the cultural quirks and comedic charms of France. From croissant conundrums to existential musings over caf矇 au lait, this collection of short texts and quirky illustrations offers a light-hearted peek into the heart and humor of French life. Join us as we unravel the mysteries behind the clich矇s and unveil the laughter lurking behind every corner of the City of Light. So grab your beret, brush up on your French phrases, and get ready to laugh your way through Funny France!
Finding Life's Meaning In Your Mum Pants!
Mum life can be fun, well, as fun as you make it, and by make it I mean skydiving in only your big mum pants, screeching towards earth like a fallen angel trying to find her wings and purpose in life.This story has real life scenarios, covered with humour and folded in profanity, like the never-ending laundry basket!If you get very easily offended by swearing or harmless humour, then this book may not be to your liking. But, if you want to open up an easy-to-read funny and feel good story which has some love, lust, swearing, humour and some real-life antics, then it could be perfect for you. Fiction meets the real world.
Crazy Grandma Coloring Book for Adults 3
★Crazy Grandma Coloring Book Vol. 3★Grandma went crazy!! But no matter what, we just love them: ) The coloring book includes54 pp.8,5x8,5"black backsides - no pushing throughgrandmas making faceswith crazy haircutshaving fun being sillyA perfect gift for all grandma lovers, portrait coloring fans.
Get Smarter. Be Amazed
Powerful Fuel for Igniting Interesting ConversationsAre you a lifelong learner? Would you like to add to your knowledge of music, cinema, sports and many other subjects? This entertaining book will provide you with fascinating information that you will eagerly share with your friends at your next gathering. The stories in this compendium contain an abundance of information from general trivia to obscure historical events and characters. The short easily digestible chapters are not only intended to enlighten but also to entertain. Readers of Ted's anecdotes constantly react with "I never knew that!". You will go to your next weekend get-together, prepared to elucidate and amuse your friends. You'll discover: Why Prohibition was the worst idea in American history.Which women were members of the original Hollywood Rat Pack.The statistically proven toughest categories on "Jeopardy!"The only Beatles song that featured a Moog synthesizer.Why there is a huge uptick of French Bulldogs in urban neighborhoods.The only two cities that have faced each other in the major four sports' championships.The actors who were turned down for "The Godfather" and "The Graduate". People across the globe look forward to Ted's entertaining and informative Friday blogs to get their weekend off to a great start. "Stories for the Weekend" provides a wealth of information across a broad array of subjects. You will appreciate the author's keen wit and look forward to bringing up his stories at your next gathering.
Shoutout from the Ok Canal, 2nd Edition
A light-hearted romp from Long Island to Key West intended to entertain those with an appreciation for a unique sense of humor. Wordplay and puns abound after decades of compiling.
The Year of Living Constitutionally
The New York Times bestselling author of The Year of Living Biblically chronicles his hilarious adventures in attempting to follow the original meaning of the Constitution, as he searches for answers to one of the most pressing issues of our time: How should we interpret America's foundational document? "I don't know how I learned so much while laughing so hard."--Andy Borowitz A.J. Jacobs learned the hard way that donning a tricorne hat and marching around Manhattan with a 1700s musket will earn you a lot of strange looks. In the wake of several controversial rulings by the Supreme Court and the on-going debate about how the Constitution should be interpreted, Jacobs set out to understand what it means to live by the Constitution. In The Year of Living Constitutionally, A.J. Jacobs tries to get inside the minds of the Founding Fathers by living as closely as possible to the original meaning of the Constitution. He asserts his right to free speech by writing his opinions on parchment with a quill and handing them out to strangers in Times Square. He consents to quartering a soldier, as is his Third Amendment right. He turns his home into a traditional 1790s household by lighting candles instead of using electricity, boiling mutton, and--because women were not allowed to sign contracts-- feebly attempting to take over his wife's day job, which involves a lot of contract negotiations. The book blends unforgettable adventures--delivering a handwritten petition to Congress, applying for a Letter of Marque to become a legal pirate for the government, and battling redcoats as part of a Revolutionary War reenactment group--with dozens of interviews from constitutional experts from both sides. Jacobs dives deep into originalism and living constitutionalism, the two rival ways of interpreting the document. Much like he did with the Bible in The Year of Living Biblically, Jacobs provides a crash course on our Constitution as he experiences the benefits and perils of living like it's the 1790s. He relishes, for instance, the slow thinking of the era, free from social media alerts. But also discovers the progress we've made since 1789 when married women couldn't own property. Now more than ever, Americans need to understand the meaning and value of the Constitution. As politicians and Supreme Court Justices wage a high-stakes battle over how literally we should interpret the Constitution, A.J. Jacobs provides an entertaining yet illuminating look into how this storied document fits into our democracy today.
The Principal Chronicles Two/Too/II/As Well
David Garlick, your favourite educational storyteller, is back with a new collection of short stories: The Principal Chronicles Two/Too/II/As Well. It's a 'mostly true' memoir that follows Garlick from pre-school to post retirement. The majority of stories, such as "At the Intersection of Adolescence and Technology," "Three A.M. Hypochondria," and "Kid, Your Dad Knows Everybody," display a gentle sense of humour that will have you laughing and turning the page to get to the next story. Others, like "They've Already Won," will grab at your heartstrings. Some stories do a bit of both.Every aspect of Garlick's career is dealt with, from student to teacher to vice-principal and principal to retiree. The stories show the rollercoaster ride that is education, whether you're the student, teacher or principal. As one reviewer of the first book said, "If you are a teacher, were a teacher, or know a teacher, this is a must read!"Although the target audience of The Principal Chronicles was intended to be educators, people from all walks of life, and all ages have found the stories relatable and enjoyable. People who finished that book wanting more will love Two/Too/II/As Well. As long as you like to laugh, this book is for you!
Wisdom Gone Wrong
Wisdom and wise sayings have been around throughout the ages. Wisdom Gone Wrong reveals the flip side of both wisdom and wise sayings by illustrating them in a comprehensive and humorous light. These enjoyable limerick-like stories show how important they still are in our daily lives today.
AffirSLAYtions
The Queen of the South and Mother of the House of Sugarbaker, Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker, has been the Executive Director of Atlanta Drag Story Hour since 2017. Her work has received global acclaim as part of an international movement seeking to share a love of reading through a lens of diversity and inclusion. When not pursuing world peace, she is interested in world domination. Her motto is "Reading Books & Serving Looks!""Everyone needs someone to cheer us on, but there's no voice more powerful than our own. Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker helps us speak up and stand out with this fierce collection of affirmations so you always have the words to slay the day!" --Flamy Grant, Billboard-charting singer-songwriter and drag queenIn a world that too often wants us to dim our lights, Miss Terra Cotta Sugarbaker encourages us all to shine as our brightest selves. Whether you need a pick-me up, a pre-loaded comeback, or an attitude makeover, her heartfelt quips (and gorgeous glamour shots) are a fabulous way to slay your day! - Lil Miss Hot Mess, author of The Hips on the Drag Queen Go Swish, Swish, Swish and If You're a Drag Queen and You Know It
The Principal Chronicles Two/Too/II/As Well
David Garlick, your favourite educational storyteller, is back with a new collection of short stories: The Principal Chronicles Two/Too/II/As Well. It's a 'mostly true' memoir that follows Garlick from pre-school to post retirement. The majority of stories, such as "At the Intersection of Adolescence and Technology," "Three A.M. Hypochondria," and "Kid, Your Dad Knows Everybody," display a gentle sense of humour that will have you laughing and turning the page to get to the next story. Others, like "They've Already Won," will grab at your heartstrings. Some stories do a bit of both.Every aspect of Garlick's career is dealt with, from student to teacher to vice-principal and principal to retiree. The stories show the rollercoaster ride that is education, whether you're the student, teacher or principal. As one reviewer of the first book said, "If you are a teacher, were a teacher, or know a teacher, this is a must read!"Although the target audience of The Principal Chronicles was intended to be educators, people from all walks of life, and all ages have found the stories relatable and enjoyable. People who finished that book wanting more will love Two/Too/II/As Well. As long as you like to laugh, this book is for you!
Gay Science
New York Times Bestseller Comedian Rob Anderson examines queer stereotypes and LGBTQ+ culture with humorous explanations borrowed from real principles across multiple fields of science. Class is in session, babe! Discover the inner workings of the LGBTQ+ community with this humorous and informative book. Author and comedian Rob Anderson borrows the familiar science textbook format to skewer ridiculous queer stereotypes with his own version of science. Using the principles of natural, social, and formal sciences, Rob answers extremely serious questions like: Why can't gays sit in a chair properly? Why don't lesbians have electricity in their movies? Are colleges turning people bisexual? How does gaydar work? Will bottoms survive the apocalypse? You'll read about the three subtypes of the gay uncle species, examine the Periodic Table of LGBTQ+ Elements, understand gay crime and punishment, and get educated on the types of bacteria and viruses that exclusively affect the LGBTQs, like the state of Florida. Inspired by his viral "Gay Science" series, Rob recreates some of his most popular episodes in a literary format, and also tackles completely fresh subjects, presenting them with super empirical and totally evidence-based homosexual data. Gay Science includes: Coverage of 60 topics across 29 fields of science including biology, chemistry, physics, genetics, botany, nutrition, astronomy, anthropology, oceanography, sociology, criminology, engineering, computer science, and more!Informative sidebars including Get PrePared, The Tea, Serving Conclusions, The Gloss, Yas or Naur, Fagtoids, and A Lesbian Explains.Diagrams, charts, illustrations, and maps to explain the gayest concepts.Rob Anderson is course-correcting decades of educational shortcomings by explaining the scientific reasonings behind every aspect of LGBTQ+ life. If you're looking for a fun book that will probably be banned (if it isn't already), add Gay Science to your personal lesson plan.
A Husband's Take on the Menopause!
I think it's fair to say the idea of writing the book came by sheer accident. The foundations were laid, when my wife had vocalised an issue she had with me, leaving dirty laundry on the bedroom floor. Not much I could do at this point but bow my head in shame, whilst she delivered an ear bashing. Then feeling somewhat deflated, I found myself needing a little victory, it was at this point, I decided to post our converse on social media. Of course, I twisted the truth and used humour as a tactic, not just to get victory, but hoped it would make her and others laugh, and it did just that. This opened a door, and over the next six days menopausal madness was a catalyst for comedic value. We had so much positive feedback, I had my arm bent to turn these 7 days into the book it is today. Like our marriage, it's a blueprint of chaos and laughter!
Oh, Bother
Welcome back to the Hundred Acre Wood as Winnie-the-Pooh and friends acclimate to the joys and worries of the 21st century in this heartfelt parody. Named a "Best Comedy Book of 2024" by Vulture The world has changed in the hundred years since A. A. Milne introduced us to Winnie-the-Pooh and his pals, but that doesn't mean our lovable friends haven't adapted to life in the twenty-first century. In this heartwarming, laugh-out-loud parody, Jennie Egerdie, author of the celebrated Frog and Toad are Doing Their Best, takes us along for some marvelous misadventures as the gang grapples with modern life's headaches and pesky predicaments. Like the rest of us, Pooh worries about what the dwindling bee population will do to his beloved honey, while Owl discovers how far too easily misinformation can spread online. Kanga hopes she can have a night off from raising Roo, and Eeyore is finally taking care of his mental health with the help of Dr Festinker, the neighborhood therapist (and skunk). Things may not always make sense in our world, but Winnie-the-Pooh always bounds ahead, day by day and smackerel by smackerel.
Dark Brandon and the Evil King Con
A MUST-READ IF YOU VALUE YOUR FREEDOMSThis is a children's story -- for freedom-loving adults -- about how Americans could lose their democracy in 2024, and what they can do to save it.It's the tale of Dark Brandon and Imah Con, two powerful presidents with opposite moral values, who fight each other in two of the greatest battles for American democracy the country has ever known.One championed women's rights, consumers' rights, voting rights, workers' rights, civil rights, human rights, climate change protections, and defended the Constitution. The other eroded those rights and protections, led a failed insurrection to stay in power, and tried to come back to rule as a tyrannical king.With simple language and 22 whimsical, color illustrations this book tracks the rise of a callous, power-hungry man who brought the USA to the brink of tyranny and the decent, wise man who can beat him twice to keep the country free.Give copies of this 28-page story book to your family and friends as a gentle but urgent reminder of what's at stake in the 2024 presidential election. Then vote early or on November 5, 2024."Not voting is not a protest. It is a surrender." - Keith Ellison"Bad officials are elected by good people who don't vote." - George Jean Nathan
The 211/2 Probable Laws of Mediocrity
So, You Think Your Life Can't Get Any Worse? Don't Sell Yourself Short. It Can!Dive into the delightfully satirical pages of The 211/2 Probable Laws of Mediocrity (c)-a book that masterfully employs reverse psychology, wrapped in layers of humor and wit, to deliver a message that's both amusing and unexpectedly insightful.This isn't your average self-help book. In fact, it boldly positions itself as the antithesis, playfully challenging readers to engage in a bit of self-reflection by presenting a guide on how to achieve a life of spectacular mediocrity.Through its tongue-in-cheek examination of the laws that govern a half-hearted approach to life, this book cleverly invites you to reconsider your current attitudes and the subtle ways they may be sabotaging the quality of your existence. Each chapter, brimming with irony and jest, serves as a mirror, reflecting back the absurdities of our all-too-human tendency to settle for less, procrastinate, and deflect responsibility.But here's the twist: By outlining a roadmap to mediocrity with such humor and precision, The 211/2 Probable Laws of Mediocrity ingeniously encourages you to do the exact opposite. It's a master class in reverse psychology, cloaked in comedic genius. The more you read about embracing laziness, avoiding risk, and following the crowd, the more you find yourself questioning why anyone would choose this path-and that's precisely the point.The 211/2 Laws of Mediocrity provide the reader with...Reverse Psychology Approach: Find yourself motivated to achieve more by reading how gloriously unsatisfying mediocrity can be.Satire that Inspires: Through humor and irony, reconsider your life choices and the paths to genuine fulfillment.A Call to Action (or Inaction): Each law paradoxically pushes you to defy its advice, stirring a rebellious desire to strive for your very best.Author Sebastien Richard cleverly makes you laugh at the notion of striving for nothingness while subtly nudging you to examine the choices that lead to unfulfillment. It's a nudge to rebel against the book's own advice, to aspire for more than mediocrity, and to rekindle the desire to pursue genuine passions and goals.So, go ahead, pick up this book if you're ready for a humorous escapade that will leave you not only entertained but also inspired to break free of the mediocrity that so easily entangles us.
Go Away
In early September 2023, I left the sanctity of my Brisbane home and sallied forth on a four-month adventure across Asia and Europe. I travelled, for the most part, alone, joined in a couple of locations by my wife. One fine afternoon, as we discussed the travelogue I would write about the trip, I was inspired by what to use as a title. Go Away, with its subtle as a sledgehammer double meaning, seemed appropriate.The title and writing style were inspired by one of my favourite writers, Paul Theroux. The journey he undertook to write his genre-defining travel book, The Great Railway Bazaar, also took four months. Never writing a particularly positive account of the countries he passes through, or the people he meets, towards the end of the book Theroux becomes even more curmudgeonly. This is mainly because he is missing his wife and the comfort of home. Desperate to make it home for Christmas, he struggles with flight, ship and train cancellations caused by bad weather.I knew how he felt. Not that I wanted to be home for Christmas, but I would rather not have spent it suffering a dose of COVID in Vietnam. There's no denying that four months is a long time to be away.It wasn't all bad though. Far from it. I loved the people and sights of Romania. I learnt much about the history of Paris thanks to two days spent, in the rain, with a friend who lives there and is a passionate and knowledgeable history teacher. Italy was a feast of pizza and wine with some historical marvels thrown in. Bangkok, as always, was mostly fun.
